Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own a copy. Three copies, actually. But I didn't write them. *teardrop*

"Guess what I bought!" Alice sang as she twirled through the front door. Edward and Bella had picked up the Uno cards and were playing an actual fair game.

"Is it a puppy?" Emmett guessed from upstairs.

"BETTER!" Alice exclaimed. She dropped her new prized possession on top of Edward and Bella's game. "It's called a blender!"

Edward faked a smile. "That's wonderful Alice, but we're trying to-"

"Bella! Guess what you get to do!" Alice picked up her blender and sprinted into the kitchen.

"Oh. No." Pure terror covered Bella's face. She slowly began to slide behind the couch.

"You can't hide from me, Bella!" Alice shouted from the kitchen. There was a loud clatter. "Crap…" Alice muttered. Then the blender buzzed, and the contents of the pitcher slopped into a cup.

Alice skipped back out into the living room. She saw Bella cowering behind the couch, grabbed her wrist, and dragged her to the kitchen.

A clear glass cup sat on the kitchen table. A light orange liquid-like substance lurked menacingly inside it. Bella briefly wondered if it might be alive.

"What is that?" Bella asked.

"Awesomeness in a cup!" Alice bubbled. "It's got eggs, cheese, milk, some ice cubes… and I think I put some bacon in there too!"

"Raw eggs? Alice, I don't think this is edible…" Bella cautiously poked the glass, and a miniature tree floated to the top.

"Oh yeah! There's broccoli in there too!" Alice smiled proudly at her masterpiece.

"Alice, Bella can't eat that," Edward said, finally realizing that Bella was in danger.

"Ummm, yeah she can!" Alice argued.

Suddenly, from the depths of Bella's mind, a plan emerged. A plan so devious that something might explode in the process.

"Hey Alice, I think I saw something shiny in… that closet over there!" Bella pointed toward a small door on the other side of the kitchen.

"SHINY!" Alice screamed, skipping over to the closet.

Edward caught on to Bella's plan and tossed the contents of the glass out the window. He set the cup back down just as Alice was walking back.

"There wasn't anything shiny in the closet, but there was a NINJA!" Alice exclaimed. She mistook Edward and Bella's expressions for horror, when really they thought she was crazy. "It's okay, though. I killed him. We're safe now."

Alice paused again, fading off into another vision. "You know what? I'm gonna go be a ninja now." Alice skipped out the front door.

"I don't think she'll ever be normal," Bella said. Edward just shook his head. Bella briefly glanced out the window to see where her "snack" had landed.

"That poor, poor ground…"

THE END! Hope you enjoyed it! HIT THAT REVIEW BUT ON LIKE IT'S YOUR JOB!