Still, Still, Still --A Christmas to Remember Ch. 4
Disclaimer: Still don't own them and still not making a profit. I also don't own the lyrics to the Christmas song Still, Still, Still!
A.N. Before you start reading this chapter I DO NOT write death fics.
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Previously: "Tell Dean that I'll be there as soon as I can" Bobby said before pushing the button on his cell phone to end the call. As he drove like a bat out of hell towards the hospital, Bobby prayed that things weren't as bad as they sounded for Sammy.
Upon arriving at the hospital, Bobby walked into the ER to see Dean sitting in one of the padded seats with his elbows propped on his knees and his head in his hands. It was obvious that Dean was having a tough time by the way he was rocking back and forth at a very quick pace oblivious to everyone and everything around him. As he got closer, Bobby could hear the sound of muffled sobs coming from the young man and he had come to think of as a son.
"Dean?" Bobby questioned as he lay a comforting hand on the top of Dean's head to give him whatever little support he could. He noticed Dean immediately cease his rocking and watched as the kid raised his head to look at him. Bobby's breath was literally stolen away as he saw the shattered look in Dean's swollen and red eyes. Bobby immediately dropped to his knees and pulled Dean into a tight hug and rubbed his back in comforting circles. He could feel the shivers running through his body and ran his hands up and down Dean's arm trying to create some warmth for him as Dean rested his head against his shoulder. "I'm here for you boys, you just let me carry the burden for awhile."
"He, he quit breathing Bobby and his heart stopped" Dean said in between hitched breaths as he relaxed into Bobby's embrace. "The doctors haven't came out and told me anything yet."
Bobby's face drained upon hearing the words but he had to remain strong for Dean since he knew that it was what Sammy would want him to do. He couldn't allow himself to break down too as Dean was only holding it together by a fragile thread right now. "He's a fighter Dean. We just have to pray that Sammy will have the strength to make it through this."
"S'my fault Bobby, it's all my fault. If I hadn't acted like suck a prick and took off this morning in bad weather then Sammy wouldn't be in there fighting for his life right now. How am I going to live with myself if Sammy dies. I just can't lose him Bobby, I can't."
Bobby sighed upon hearing the words. He knew that Dean was right. If he hadn't been in such a pissy mood lately, the boys would have been at home with him, safe and sound instead of out in the frigid and destructive weather. "You're right Dean, you shouldn't have taken off this morning in the sleet and freezing rain, but there's nothing you can do about that now. What's done is done. We just have to prepare ourselves to deal with the consequences now. Whatever the outcome, I'll be here for you boys just as I always have been. We'll suffer the consequences together."
"I was yelling at him when it happened Bobby. I accused him of stabbing me in the back and called him an ungrateful little bitch and now he's in there fighting for his life and I can't tell him that I'm sorry, that I didn't mean the words I said. God Bobby, what am I gonna do?"
"I wish I knew Ace, I wish I knew" Bobby stated with a sigh as he rubbed the back of Dean's head with his hands. It scared him to think that Sam's recovery could depend on his will to fight. If he thought that Dean was mad at him enough to leave him, then Sam could very well give up. "Let me go ask and see if there is any news yet."
Just as Bobby stood up to make his way over towards the nurses station, he saw the ER doors swing open and a doctor walk out with a weary look on his face as he rubbed a palm across his cheek. He sucked in a breath as he heard the doctor call out "Family of Sam Winchester."
Bobby helped Dean to stand up and they both started walking towards the doctor. He reached his hand out to shake the man's hand and said ""m Bobby Singer, his uncle and this is Sam's brother Dean."
"I'm sorry to meet you under such circumstances. If you will follow me, I would like to talk to you about Sam's condition."
Bobby and Dean followed the doctor down a long hall and into what they assumed to be his office. The doctor asked them to sit in the chairs while he went around to sit at his desk. Dr. Daniels placed his folded hands on the desk in front of him and then began to speak.
"I wish I had better news for you. As you know, Sam was brought in suffering from severe electrical shock and that he went into respiratory distress and soon coded. We we're able to get him back, but Sam's body has suffered too much trauma. When the electrical current entered through his left foot, it traveled up his leg and into the stomach area. In doing so, it moved around inside his abdominal cavity and hit a few of his internal organs before exiting the body through his right hip. The organs were so severely traumatized that they are beginning to shut down. His kindeys have basicall shut down completely and the liver is well on it's way."
Bobby's face blanched at hearing the news. He didn't need to be told what would happen next. Sam had just been given a death sentence. He couldn't hold back the tears that sprung to his eyes as he reverently whispered "Lord help us." He reached over to grasp Dean's hand in support as he saw the anger building in Dean's eyes.
Dr. Daniels felt sorry for the men in front of him as he watched them trying to assimilate the news. He really hated to tell them this last part, but he felt the men deserved to know just how little time their loved one had left. "It won't be long before the rest of Sam's body starts shutting down and it will lead to his death. I would say that he only has twenty fours hours at most. You might want to call your family priest in to give him his last rites."
"No, you're lying you cold hearted son of a bitch" Dean yelled as he jumped to his feet and leaned across the desk to snatch the doctor up by his coat lapel. "My brother isn't dying. You hear me? He. Is. Not. Dying."
Bobby quickly rose to his feet and pulled Dean away from the doctor as he wrapped his arms around Dean and pulled him back. He struggled to hold on to Dean as he fought to get out of the embrace knowing what Dean would do to the doctor if he didn't. "I'm sorry doc, His baby brother is all he has left" Bobby apologized trying to explain Dean's actions
"I totally understand Mr. Singer. I'll give you and Dean some privacy while you adjust to the news. Sam is in ICU room number six when you are ready to go in and say…well, you know" Dr. Daniels said before quietly leaving his office to give Sam's family some privacy.
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Approximately thirty minutes later, Bobby led a shaky and morose Dean down the corridor towards the Intensive Care Unit. He didn't know how they were going to be able to walk in that room seeing Sammy for what would be the last time without breaking down. He had his arm wrapped securely around Dean's shoulder and could feel the trembles running through his quivering body. He noticed that the closer they got to the ICU, the more Dean's legs seemed to want to give way on him. God how he wished Jim were here right now to try and provide words of comfort, but he had died not too long before John did because of that bitch Meg. As they stood just outside the door, Bobby caught Dean as his knees finally gave away and he lowered them both to the floor.
"I can't Bobby, I can't go in there and say goodbye. He's my baby brother. I'm supposed to go first not him. It's not right."
"Dean, Sammy needs to know that we're here. He needs to know that we'll be okay. You don't want his last moments to be ones of loneliness do you, thinking that nobody cares."
"God no Bobby, I just…I can't handle being left alone"
"I know Dean, I Promise I'll be there for you as long as you need me son. I ain't goin nowhere!"
"Thanks Bobby" Dean said as he walked into the room to find Sammy laying as still as a mannequin on the too short bed. He gasped as he saw all the wires coming from his brother's body. He didn't know that one person could be hooked up to so many different machines. Sammy had IV's coming out of both hands and out of a port that was placed in his shoulder. He had a pulse oximeter attached to his finger and a blood pressure cuff that stayed wrapped around his left bicep. His chest had leads connected to it that led over to the heart monitor which showed that his heart rate and pulse was low. There were even a few wires coming out from under the blanket that had Sammy covered up from his stomach and down.
Slowly, Dean reached out to grasp one of Sam's hands in his being careful not to disturb the IV. "Hey Sammy, I'm here for you little brother. You can rest easy now." Dean said as he wiped the tears falling down his cheek with his free hand to no avail as more took their place. He pulled up a chair and sat quietly holding his baby brother's hand and remembering different aspects of their lives together. He cried as he remembered Sammy's first word which had been "De." He remembered his first steps, first tooth, first birthday and all of the other important firsts in Sam's life. How could he be expected to let him go now?
As Dean glanced over towards the window to see the falling snow, he thought about the fact that it was now Christmas Eve and how it was his mom's favorite time of year. She would have been so disappointed in him for the way he had been acting lately. All Sammy had wanted was to have a little Christmas celebration and he had acted like a damned grinch. Maybe it wasn't too late to give Sammy one last Christmas, maybe he could make things peaceful for him by sharing the only memory he had of his mother during their last Christmas as a family before the fire.
"Ya know Sammy, I remember a song that Mom used to sing to me on Christmas Eve when I had trouble falling asleep. It was mom's favorite song and I thought you might like to hear it little brother. Dean closed his eyes and began to hum the tune as the words came rushing back to him and he began to sing.
Still, still, still, One can hear the falling snow. For all is hushed, The world is sleeping, Holy Star its vigil keeping. Still, still, still, One can hear the falling snow. Sleep, sleep, sleep, 'Tis the eve of our Saviour's birth. The night is peaceful all around you, Close your eyes, Let sleep surround you. Sleep, sleep, sleep, 'Tis the eve of our Saviour's birth. Dream, dream, dream, Of the joyous day to come. While guardian angels without number, Watch you as you sweetly slumber. Dream, dream, dream, Of the joyous day to come.
Bobby silently cried as he listened to the beautiful song coming from Dean's mouth. He couldn't imagine a more wonderful present for Sam than for Dean to share the memory of his mother through music. He just wished it didn't take such a tragedy to get Dean to open up to his bay brother about their mom. He watched as Dean lowered his forehead until it was touching Sammy's and began to speak. He turned away and looked out the window so as not to intrude on such a private moment between the brothers.
As Dean finished the song, he gently lay his head upon Sammy's. "I love you more than life itself Sammy and I will never forgive myself for hurting you the way I did. It was my actions that put you in this hospital and now the doctors are telling me I have to say goodbye. Well I can't do it Sammy. You've been my whole life and I don't know how to live it without you. I won't live it without you!"
Suddenly, it was as if time stood still and all motion ceased. Dean and Bobby heard everything go deathly silent as they felt a presence making itself known in the room. They had to shield their eyes as they saw a brilliant white glow emanate from out of nowhere and float over towards Sammy's bed. As the glowing shape started to take form, Dean and Bobby witnessed what appeared to be a person dressed in a brilliant white robe taking shape, both swearing that they could see the outline of wings. As the creature bowed it's head over Sammy with tears dripping onto Sammy's face, it began to speak.
"I am known as Hamied, the Angel of Miracles. I bestow upon you the gift of life as it is not your time to go Sam Winchester. You still have much left to do on this earth. You are a warrior of all that is good and all that is right. This world and it's inhabitants need you to continue in your fight to rid it of the forces of evil." The angel then bowed it's head as it placed it's immaculate hands on Sam's chest and stomach area. A glorious white essence seemed to radiate from it's hands and seep into Sam's being. After a minute, the glowing stopped as the angel looked Heavenward and said "It is done my Lord" before smiling at Bobby and Dean and blinking out of existence.
As Dean and Bobby stood in stunned silence, they could hear the heart monitor starting to emit a more continuous beat as Sammy's heart started a more normal pattern. They were still standing in stunned silence when the doctor came rushing into the room when Sam's monitors started beeping.
Dean watched with tears in his eyes as the doctor assessed his baby brother. "I don't understand, this isn't possible" the doctor kept repeating as Sam's vitals continue to improve. "This shouldn't be happening, I just don't understand."
Glancing over to Dean and Bobby with a look of wonder on his face, he said "I don't understand what just happened, but somehow Sam has just taken a turn for the better. It's like his body has reversed the dying process. I need to run some tests to confirm what is happening, but I'd say that Sam has a strong fighting chance now." He glanced down as if in thought before looking Dean in the eyes and saying. "I'd say that your brother just received a Christmas miracle."
TBC See, I told you I don't write death fics! I wish you all a Merry Christmas and that it is everything you wish it to be!