Chapter 8-No Sympathy
Caspian was looking from Peter to Edmund in a very puzzled way, wondering what he had done or said to make Susan leave the room. Peter thought it best if they go back to the boy's room. Caspian agreed and once they were back in their room, Caspian exploded.
"Why did she run out of the room like that? Is she that upset at seeing me?"
Neither brother answered him. Edmund was fiddling with his fingers and Peter had his head down, wondering how he could explain to Caspian without hurting his feelings. He knew the exact reason why Susan ran out like she did. After thinking she would never see Caspian again ever as long as she was still in England, there he was standing in her room and she was barely given a warning. Peter figured he would be the one she would yell at later on for not telling her right away.
"Answer me!" Caspian commanded.
Peter saw that Edmund jumped a little at the sudden outburst from the prince. Edmund then looked up and said, "Caspian, I had no idea that Susan would react so—"
"She was flustered." Peter amended, looking up at the fuming prince.
"Flustered?" Caspian asked incredulously. "How did I fluster her?"
"She was caught off guard. She wasn't expecting to see you in the doorway—let alone, England. She thought that when we left Narnia, it was over, she wouldn't have to deal with you anymore…"
Peter stopped, appalled by his own words. Had he really said that? Caspian looked more angry than upset now as he turned away from Peter, hands poised against the door, giving Peter an unconsciously good view of the prince's rear. He tried not to look at it, but temptation was winning as he glanced at it quickly, then turned away.
"I'm sorry," Peter mumbled, sincerely meaning it too. "I didn't mean it that way."
Caspian turned on him suddenly, making Peter look up in alarm as he said, "she treats me like nothing happened that day when she went home!"
Peter pursed his lips together, considering the best route to take this conversation. He wisely decided to keep silent and allow Edmund to talk.
"Caspian, she was just a little shocked, that's all. I'm sure by tonight she'll be friendly again." Edmund sounded hopeful, but Peter noticed the waver in his voice as he said this.
The prince sighed as he reached behind to scratch his head, considering what the younger Pevensie said. Edmund was looking at him expectantly and Peter looked at him somewhat steadily, though he could feel his heart beating rapidly, wanting nothing more than to throw himself at Caspian and hug him tightly at seeing his prince upset. But Edmund was in the room. He couldn't risk the action if it meant suspicion on his brother's part. That's all he needed, his own brother spreading rumors about Peter's affection towards Caspian.
"I admit," Caspian said, facing them, "my appearance was sudden. She probably was not expecting me to show up."
"No," the brothers said simultaneously. Edmund added, "She probably thought it would be James or something."
Peter quickly shushed him up when Caspian looked at them curiously. "Who?"
"No one," Peter said, eyeing Edmund carefully.
Caspian glanced at them, then narrowed his eyes at Peter in particular as he asked, "Peter, who are you talking about?"
"No one!" Peter cried. He wanted to drop the subject completely. Caspian didn't need to know about James, the boy Susan was interested in. When Edmund bit his lip uncertainly, Peter eyed him carefully with a look that threatened, 'if you say anything, I'll kill you.'
Caspian sighed as he took a seat in the chair by Edmund's desk. He dropped his head into his hands and Peter suddenly felt bad for yelling at him so strongly, but bringing up James would hurt Caspian even more. He already felt bad for him, having to know that Susan had walked out because he was there. Peter suddenly had the urge to slap his sister.
Edmund suddenly got up, saying he had to work on something and left the room. Peter glanced after him, amazed that he hadn't hinted a bit that he wanted to be alone with Caspian, but was grateful for his brother's exit nonetheless.
With just them in the room now, Peter was more compelled to watch the prince. Peter was still upset to see Caspian holding his head, as if he were silently crying. Neither of them talked for a minute. The very slight movement of Caspian lifting his head startled Peter a little, but was relieved to see that he no longer looked sad, but noticed that his eyes were a little red.
Peter then said, "Caspian…ever since we left, things have been a little different."
"I can tell." Caspian muttered darkly.
Peter bit his lip nervously as he continued, "I can understand your pain, I really can, but crying over something that has been lost for what, two weeks?"
"Two years." Caspian corrected him, in Narnian time at least.
"Right," Peter said, "that long, it's ridiculous. You shouldn't mourn that long."
"I wasn't to be honest." Caspian admitted, wiping his eyes for stray tears. "In Narnia, things were fine. It wasn't until I arrived here that I felt some sort of…hope, I guess."
Peter tried to be sympathetic, he really did, but it was difficult when the man he loved was still lingering on the unrequited love of his sister. He needed to change Caspian's mind, make him see that Susan was impossible to get, but the thought of Caspian being even more depressed was not something Peter wanted to see.
"Okay." Peter finally muttered. Caspian glanced up at him. "But what if there is still hope…just, not exactly what you intended?"
Caspian gave a confused look as he asked, "what do you mean?"
How do I explain this? Peter thought anxiously. "What if…say, you meet someone else, or someone else fancies you?"
Peter was rather hopeful about this idea, but it took Caspian for a turn.
"What if someone fancies me? Susan…" his words faded and Peter could see he would be on the brink of tears again. I've never seen Caspian cry so often!
"Just forget about Susan." Peter told him, but immediately that was the wrong thing to say.
"I can't forget about her!" Caspian thundered angrily, "She's here. I can't just pretend like what happened in Narnia never happened."
Peter was wishing it had never happened. "But what if she's moved on from that? What if, at the time, she did it because she never thought she would ever see you again?"
This realization suddenly dawned on Caspian's face and he glumly turned away from the Pevensie boy. Peter sighed, realizing this was pointless unless Susan actually talked to him and told him that it would never work. Although he couldn't imagine what would happen if Susan and Caspian were alone. What if Caspian tried to kiss her again? Peter could not have that. If anything, he at least needed to be there when they talked.
That night, dinner was quiet. The Pevensies had explained to Mrs. Simmons that Caspian was an old friend of theirs and that he would be staying for a while. Of course, they couldn't estimate when he'd be leaving, but Peter liked the tentative timeframe. A while could range anything from an hour to a month. It made his heart skip when Caspian said he wouldn't leave right away. Caspian sat in Lucy's seat next to Edmund, but across from Susan. It was very difficult for Peter to get through his fish without constantly making eye contact with Caspian, trying to lead his eyes over to his. It wasn't working. Caspian only seldom looked up, and when he did, it wasn't at Peter.
Susan looked at her plate the entire time, not once glancing up at anyone, even when Mrs. Simmons asked her a question. It was all very awkward and Peter could feel his fist clenching under the table, ready to strike the person beside him. After they had finished, Caspian immediately went to Susan, asking if he could talk with her. Peter overheard them from the library.
"Caspian, I have other things to do. I don't have time." Was her response.
"Please," Caspian pleaded, "I need to talk to you…alone."
Peter guessed Susan was giving him one of her anxious glances, but then he distinctly heard, "Maybe later."
Peter cursed inside his head. Of course, Caspian wanted to talk to her, I mean, if he hadn't seen her in two years and the last thing he remembered was…that, then who wouldn't want to talk? Sure it may have been friendly at the time, but Caspian had other ideas, ideas that never really crossed Susan's logical mind. But Peter knew better, he knew what Caspian wanted from Susan. This clearly meant war.