A/N: A very short chapter, but this is where the break in the narrative came. More coming soon.

Chapter Three

Snow makes you forget.

In the uneasy, aching sleep that Yusuke fell into now, days away from his last hit, there was no snow. Not enough of it, at any rate. The dreams were filled with memories.

Memories of Keiko laughing, wearing a blue dress that swirled around her ankles as she turned and turned, posing for photographs. A bridesmaid's dress; one of her school friends getting married. Keiko, ethereal as she danced across the floor, light in her eyes as she asked him to dance with her. Hurt replacing the light as he said no.

Keiko arguing with him over where the furniture should go, and the art on the walls, saying a woman's opinion mattered more over such things. Laughing, eventually, that they could get into an argument over moving a poster two inches to the right or left. Keiko declaring that getting things organized could wait, hunting for the phone to order take out.

Yusuke woke briefly. He knew he was awake because of the smell of the cave, and the cotton-fuzz feeling coating his insides that meant he needed snow. Voices, voices that weren't Keiko's, were fading in and out of his awareness like a badly tuned radio. Circling him like vultures. It was Hiei and Kurama talking. Yusuke was surprised they had chosen to speak to each other. Kurama's tone was hushed and ironic. "Well, I think we can safely call today a disaster. Yusuke tried to kill me and I threatened to kill you. We'll have to do better than that."

Hiei's tone was also quiet, but filled with invective. "You hypocrite. You knew this wouldn't be easy."

"Truer words were never spoken..."

Yusuke tried to get his mouth working to explain that he hadn't been trying to kill Kurama, just to prove he could touch him; but it was hopeless. He faded back into sleep. Keiko--always there, always, the second the snow wore off. Sometimes forgiving, and sometimes accusing, but most often worried. She had always worried over him--he shouldn't have made her worry like that. But he had a feeling she would have worried anyway. Even he hadn't been out all the time fighting the scum of the universe, even if he hadn't always been in danger of dying, Keiko would have worried. Over his grades, his mother, his after school "activities." It was how he knew she cared.

"How long is this going to take?" Hiei demanded.

"I've told you, I don't know." Even though they were nearly whispering, Kurama's tone was so sharp it made Yusuke's head hurt. "I've never broken someone of this addiction before, I've only hooked them on it."

"Youare supposed to be the smart one, aren't you? Surely you have enough intelligence to make an estimate."

"If it was someone with normal abilities, I could tell you. But it's Yusuke. Nothing ever goes the way it's supposed to with him."

Yusuke tried to speak again--this time to beg Kurama for something, anything, that would make him sleep. Make him forget. But he couldn't summon the coordination to make his lips and tongue move to form words, couldn't even make a noise. He was dying. He had to be dying, and they were just sitting there watching him. Dying hadn't hurt like this the first few times...

Keiko met him on the threshold again. She wouldn't speak to him, even though he called out to her. She just stared at him with wide, solemn eyes, and pointed to something...

No. Not there, anywhere but there... There were good memories. There had to be. But where they had danced before him before, they eluded him now. All he saw was her fright; her pain; her abandonment. And the thing she pointed to.

"Can't you tell the boy's in pain? Give him something."

"I don't dare. His body knows what it's doing. If I interfere, this is likely to drag on for longer. He'll just have to endure it."

"Do you enjoy the power that comes from giving and withholding healing?"

"No. I don't. Do you enjoy casting blame onto me so much that you'd actually hold me responsible for Yusuke's pain?"

"Let's not get onto the subject of blame. We'll never get off it."

Blame... the word should have meant something to Yusuke, something important, but right now it didn't. He had somehow stumbled back into the good place, into the memories he hadn't wanted snow to erase. Keiko, protesting as he dragged her farther and farther away from the shore, him laughing and her finally forced to admit she didn't know how to swim. Then him getting to teach her something, for once, holding her lightly in his arms to make her feel safe as she tested her limbs against the water.

Keiko curled up next to him on the couch, resting her body against his while they watched a movie together. Keiko with one hand resting lightly on her abdomen, even though no one could see the slight swelling there yet, still guarding it as fondly and zealously as all women did.

At that, Yusuke blacked out completely--past the point of memories, and into the void. There were some places he wasn't willing to revisit.