Chapter 9

Brian P.O.V.

I reach the car and I can see his whole body shaking. I am afraid of what is really going on with Justin, is he having a seizure or something worse. I open the car door and he just looks at me with red, puffy eyes.

"I thought you weren't coming back Brian. Oh god I need you so much."

I hate that Ethan did this to my cocky, stubborn, and confident Justin. I loathe the fiddler for treating him the way that he did.

I wrap my arms around Justin and he holds on to me like a lifeline. He is sobbing against my neck as I rub slow circles on his lower back.

"It is okay Justin. I am never leaving you again. I am right here for you no matter what. You have to let go so I can take us home. Once we get home then we will go to sleep and forget about everything."

He nods his head and lets me go. As I walk around to the driver's side I see Ted's car and I can look directly into Michael's eyes. I guess they followed me and parked once they saw the car. I don't care just as long as Justin doesn't see them, which is the only thing that matters.

I start the jeep up and I reach over and grab his hand. I just need to feel the connection with him. As soon as our fingers interlace he lays his head on my shoulder.

I pull out onto Tremont and I can still see Ted and Michael parked across the way. Why does Michael have this obsession with me and now this hate towards Justin, I know Theodore is only following Michael's instruction.

I pull into my parking spot and look back. I am thankful to see that they did not follow me. "We are here Justin."

He barely picks his head up to look at me. He just seems so weak in comparison to the man he once was and I know will be again.

I hop out the jeep and Justin follows behind me as I open my front door. We walk over to the elevator in silence. I really do not know what to say; I never thought I would ever have Justin standing by my side ever again.

The trip to my floor seems to take forever and my mind is all over the place about what is going on in his head. Once the elevator stops I lead Justin into the loft.

I can hear him sigh with relief to finally be away from it all. "Why don't you take a hot shower, and I will get you something comfy to wear. I'll set the alarm for us and we will take a nice long nap and then we will go to the D.A.'s, alright?"

Justin just nods his head and walks into our bathroom. Once I hear the shower turn on I go about undressing and putting on my favorite joggers. I then continue my search for Justin's favorite black sweat pants and one of my wife beaters

He was always stealing my sweats and wife beaters. He says they smell like me; no matter how many times I wash them he says he can still smell me. It is one of my secret fetishes about him, seeing Justin wearing my clothing, it makes him seem so... small and hot.

I knock on the bathroom door to let him know I am coming in. "I am just going to set some clothes on the counter for you to wear. I won't look at anything until you want me to."

I can hear him say 'okay' and I enter into the bathroom. I keep telling myself not to look, but the second I see wads of bloody gauze in the trash my instinct not to turn and look I see Justin just for a second.

I feel sick to my stomach as I see for only just a brief moment the backside of his body. It is covered in fresh lashes on his back and some scabbed over wounds. I turn to look away for I said I would wait but out of the corner of my eye I can see his name on Justin's left cheek.

'Ethan' spelt out by cigarette burns and the rage in me is over whelming. How could a person do that to another human being? What could Justin have ever done to Ethan to warrant that kind of torment to Justin's beautiful body? I must have been staring at him because I hear Justin yell at me.

"Brian you said you would not look! Why did you lie to me?"

He is breaking down so quickly and I feel like an asshole for doing it to him. Fuck! Why did I have to look! I turn around to explain myself and that is when I see it... 'Kinney's Whore' in big thick gashes across his chest.

I cannot stop as I walk into the shower and I gather a breaking down Justin into my arms. Ethan did this to him because of me. The only thing Justin ever did wrong was love me.

"Justin I am so... sorry... I tried not to look... I saw blood and I... I am so sorry this is entirely my fault... Christ what did I do to you? I will fix this Justin I will make them go away. Please forgive me for letting him do this to you."

In the past 10 years I have only cried 2 times and now I am on my third. I am glad the shower is on so he cannot see my tears. I cry for wasting time and I cry for ever letting him go.

I feel his hand on my cheek so now we are looking directly into each other's eyes.

"Brian we can't change what has happened only what we can do with our future. I don't blame you for this, I can not blame anyone but the person who did this to me, and that is Ethan. The only thing I need from you Brian is to keep caring about me...does this change how you look at me, am I too ugly now since I am no longer flawless?"

How can he think he is ugly, fuck, I could never think that about him. I do not understand how he can be so strong considering everything that he has been through the past 6 weeks.

"Justin you are the most beautiful man I have ever met inside and out. I didn't fall in love with you for appearances. I fell in love with the person you are and how you make me a better person.

"I do not just care about you; I love you and nothing Ethan ever did could ever make me change my mind. I just wish I could be half the man you are. Just please don't build the walls like I did, please let me love you like you did for me, unconditionally."

Before I have a chance to continue I feel him wrap his arms around my neck and he begins to kiss me. I know in my soul I am complete when his lips are against my own. I can feel his velvet tongue enter into my mouth and I know he is what dreams are made of.

Our kiss is innocent just a way of connecting with each other. There is no dueling for dominance just away for us to confirm our love for each other. I am afraid to touch him now that I have seen what he has been through. I don't want to cause him anymore pain than necessary.

As if Justin is reading my mind he grabs my hand and places it on his hip. For some reason the shower has always brought out something for us. We have always been more truthful when we are in the shower as if the water will wash away all of the walls, lies and deception.

Justin becomes more aggressive in our kiss as he is now searching every crevice, every millimeter of my mouth. He has an absolutely magical tongue. He can do things with it I have never felt before.

Justin pulls away from our kiss and says, "Brian help me forget him, help me forget his touch, his everything. Help me erase Ethan from my memory. I want to tell you what happened, but first, we need to get out of the shower."

We step out of the shower and I peel off my soaking wet joggers. I grab the towel and I start to gently pat him down, making sure to take extra care around his chest and back. As I pat him down I take the opportunity to look him over to see every mark Ethan left on his body.

He knows what I am doing but he still allows me. I really wish Justin did not have the chance to kill Ethan as my blood is boiling and I want to slice his fucking throat.

I would love to be able to reverse time and remove what Ethan did to him, but I know I will have to move past this and hope that we will be okay when it is over.

I must have been lost in my thoughts because I am rocked into reality when I hear Justin speak. "Bri I am dry enough, so stop looking at what Ethan did, okay?"

I stand up and toss the towel into the hamper. I grab the other and begin to dry myself off. Justin is slipping on the sweats and I can see every finger mark on his thighs and hips.

I know I have left bruises on him before, but I hope I have never done anything like that to him. God, if I have ever I do not know what I would do with myself.

I see Justin walk out of the bathroom and I follow right behind him. Justin neglects to put on a shirt, which I find odd. But I guess since I have seen what Ethan carved no point in hiding it.

Justin goes out and sits on the sofa waiting for me to join him. I grab the first pair of 501's I find and slide them on, leaving the top button undone, of course. I know that Justin gets a hard-on by that look, so why not keep him happy.

I pad my way down, into living room and he pats on the sofa to join him. Once I sit down he pats on his lap and I place my head comfortably there. Now this is normally Justin's place, his head in my lap, but if this is what Justin would like than I am more then happy to oblige.

I feel his fingers in my damp hair and it is comforting to feel his nimble touch on my scalp.

"Alright, when I start to tell you what happened I do not want I single interruption. When I am finished you can rant and rave then, but not a moment before, can you handle that Bri?"