Not Thinking Straight

Travis was about to kill someone. If it wasn't for KARR's insistence that he couldn't kill them, he would have done it long ago. The girls had figured out that he wasn't going to seriously hurt them yet, and so they were taking every opportunity available to harass him. His hands were gripping the steering wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white, but they didn't seem to care. KARR was ignoring them for the most part, but Travis figured he was actually running what they were saying through his massive computers.

Unfortunately, Travis didn't need translation. This particular comedian was funny the first two hundred times he heard him. Jeff Dunham lost all hilarity around number five hundred. And what was worse, they were taking turns.

Raven started. "Jeff-fafa."

Then Jess. "Dun-ham."

Then Heather. "Dot-Com."

And the track would repeat. Over. And over. And over.

He wasn't sure if they were trying to piss him off, or if it was just something they were doing because they were bored. If things were that bad, he was getting KARR to amuse them. Possibly with violence. He wanted to reach back and slap one of them, but Travis wasn't stupid. He'd had an advantage over them in the store. In KARR, however, he had lost that advantage. They didn't fear KARR. If Travis tried to do anything to shut them up, all three of them would jump him, and he wasn't having that. KARR might just lose his patience and eject them all from the cabin.

"What happened as you were getting out of the car?" Heather, perfectly mocking Dunham's voice.

"He slammed my stick in the door." It looked like Raven was playing Jose Japeleno. "And now I have a sore stick."

"Did you apologize?"

"No." Now that did not surprise him – Jess playing Peanut.

The rest of what they were saying was lost in KARR's voice. "Why do you insist on quoting something that makes no sense?" he demanded.

Jess decided to go with the truth. "Because it's pissing Travis off-fafa." She grinned as Heather exploded into laughter. "And since he kidnapped us, we have every reason to piss him off."

"Are we pissing you off-fafa, KARR-rara?" Raven snipped.

KARR ignored her. Travis couldn't. He spun around. "Will you shut up?!" he shouted, reaching in the backseat to grab Raven's shoulder.

Which was all the opening Raven needed. She slammed the heel of her hand into Travis's nose. There was the satisfying sound of cartilage snapping, and Travis jerked back, cursing in a nasal tone. Heather and Jess exchanged looks. Raven was looking awfully happy now.

"She is a sadist." Heather murmured. Jess snickered.

"And we're not?"

"Point."

"Enough of this." KARR snapped. "Jessica has the comm. link. She calls the Knight 2000. Now."

"And what do I tell him?" Jess snapped.

"Tell him that I have you." KARR said easily. "And you will die unless he fights me."

"No." Jess spat.

"Jess, let me see it." Heather said, taking the comm. link from her. "I'll turn it off."

"There is no way to turn off the comm. link." KARR said smugly. "KITT is no doubt tracking us with it as we speak. And when he finds us, I will fight and destroy him, just as he tried to destroy me."

For a moment, no one spoke. The girls knew – the only way KITT would have tried to harm KARR was if KARR was trying to harm him. It wasn't in KITT's nature to be violent. If KARR was so confident that he could take KITT, there was a fairly good chance he could. If he couldn't, and KARR was bluffing, well, he was just a car. There wasn't much he could do to them that they couldn't fight off. If KARR knew about the comm. link, then there was a good chance he already knew KITT was listening in. If they could find an advantage they could give their friend, they had to try. A look passed between the girls. Heather raised the comm. link to her mouth. "Did you catch all that, KITT?"

"Yes." KITT sounded stressed.

"I'm sorry, KITT. But we have to protect you." Before KITT could protest, Heather quickly rolled down the window and threw the comm. link into a ditch.

Just as calmly, Jess passed the cell phone behind her back to Raven. Raven turned it back on.

Travis cursed violently. KARR stayed silent, but they could practically feel the thing simmering with hate. Not for the first time, Travis and KARR wondered if they really knew what they were getting into, using the girls as bait.

Jess, Raven, and Heather were wondering the same thing.

/--/

KITT had to stop himself from protesting. The tracking device had stopped moving rather abruptly. Someone must have thrown it out a window – maybe Raven. She had the strongest arm of the three. He wanted to scream, to demand what on earth they thought they were doing, and then he heard a wonderful sound.

The cell phone clicked on, and Travis was turning the air blue.

KARR knew KITT was listening to them. Now KARR didn't have the advantage of knowing. Maybe he would be a bit more loose with information.

The girls must have been hoping the same thing. KITT stayed quiet and listened in.

He was going to have to remember to ask them what Jeff Dunham was when he got them back.

/--/

They had fallen silent not long after their little stunt with the comm. link. Travis looked positively murderous, and KARR was far more intimidating than him. They had pushed their luck as far as it was going to go. Any more might get them killed, and then KITT would probably dig up the remains and kill them again.

Suddenly, Travis spoke. "We're here."

Raven looked around. "Nice. What is this, the bowling alley? That's not exactly remote you know."

"Yes, but it is abandoned." Heather murmured, casting a glance at the building. They were keeping their voices low, so KITT could hear but not Travis or KARR. "On the outskirts of town, close enough that people know where it is but not so close they care what's going on here. No one would think to look here for us."

"How would you explain that one to the cops?" Jess muttered darkly. "We got kidnapped by a talking car named KARR. It sounds retarded even to me, and I'm living it."

"Or that we're about to be rescued by another talking car named KITT?" Heather added.

"We need to talk to KITT about this when we get back." Raven said suddenly. "The same people who made him made KARR. What if there are others?"

"I don't think KITT was expecting KARR to show up like he did." Jess said thoughtfully. "He would have warned us."

"Probably. But we still need to know."

"Get out." Travis had the gun aimed at them, fury plain in his eyes. Maybe tormenting him hadn't been such a great idea after all. "Get inside. Now."

"Sure thing." Raven spat. "When we get inside, you might want to put some ice on your nose."

As Travis lead the way, muttering curses the entire time, Heather slid the cell phone in her pocket. Very faintly, she heard KITT's voice.

"I'm on my way."

/--/

An: Yeah, I was going to torment KARR all the way to the hideout, but then I realized – we were going to get ourselves killed. So we actually exercised some common sense, which isn't something we do often. Review, and let me know what you think!

If you think it sucks, don't worry. It's gets better next chapter. I was trying to be goofy and suddenly realized this wasn't the chapter for goofiness.