I Don't Know

I pulled away after a second or two, I wonder what everyone's thinking, right now. But that's beside the point, Mark just kissed me! I think I'm going to have to wash my mouth out with soap. Mark stepped back, giving me room. I could feel the burning stares of almost every girl in the room, that would love to be me at the current moment. Adam was no longer stand by us, he was now at his table. He took sad (I couldn't find a good or phrase for sad at the moment), oh, now I'm confused do I like Adam like that. I thought I did before…this. Now where I'm going to sit tomorrow, I don't even want to come back to school tomorrow after what just happened.

I bit my lip, "Mark," I said the stinky smell of the garbage final got up my nose. My nose wrinkled at the smell, he laughed. I walked back to my table and sat down without speaking and blushed Bella red.

"Oooh, Ben you are some player," Emmett said, I blushed harder. Mark was now at the table. I got up and walked outside, I could face him.

I sat on a bench, the wind blew my hair all about. I pulled out my phone, I texted Edward or was it Alice I wasn't sure their numbers where so similar and I was half in shock still. I told whoever it was to come outside. It wasn't Edward or Alice who came out it was Jasper and Rosalie. I knew why Jasper was there, to help clam me down but Rose, I'm positive it wasn't her number.

"How you doing?" she asked sitting next to me

"Was everyone staring at us?" I asked knowing the answer

"Will, I wasn't looking," Rosalie said trying to be nice, I looked up at her

"Rose, I know your I saw you." she just gave a sympathic smile,"I'm not mad about the kiss, I can live with kissing people. I can kiss people all I want-,"

"Okay I get it, you don't care about the kiss," she said, once I started to babble

"It's the Adam thing,"

"Oh," Rosalie said, thinking it was something else, "You like Adam?"

"I don't know, maybe,"

"Will, if you do you should tell him, and if you still not sure just think about it, Mark's only here for two weeks."

And a long two weeks they are going to be.

I didn't go to school today, Esme let me stay home. What did that matter, Mark stayed home with me. I basic sat in my room and stared at the wall all day, Mark sat across the room on my bed. I sat for an hour or two before he started to talk.

"Ben, what a…..different name?" I didn't remove my eyes from the wall

"It's Bena Elizabeth Ann-Marie, really"

"Why is it so long?"

"I don't know," that's the first time someone asked me that, no one really took mind to my name, that way.

"Oh," it was silent again, now the silent bothered me.

"Why did you do that?.....yesterday," I asked now turning to face him, he was beautiful, sigh. This makes everything so much harder, and when I'm in a room with him I can never think straight he has this hold on me.

"Well, I never had someone's power that I couldn't tell what it was. You're a mystery, it drives in crazy," he said, you know what drives me crazy you, and not in the I love you way ( at least I don't think so)

"Oh, well you just ruined my high school life," I snapped

"Hah, you are going to have a lot of time to prefect you high school life," I glared at him

"Do you like getting my mad or something?" he laughed

"Yeah, you make the funniest face," I stared back at the wall, "Do you like that boy?"

I turned back, "What?"

"That boy, oh, what's his name?"

"You mean Adam?"

"Yeah, whatever,"

"Umm, not really, we are just friends." Why did i say that?

"Mmmm,"

"Well, he was my first friend when moved here," I said defending my reasoning, he was moving closer to me, my heart was beating like crazy.

"Your different from the others, aren't you?" he said trying to get inside my head, I looked at the wall trying not to give myself away.

"I guess, you can say that," I was breathing heavy

"The girl in your English class, told me that your dad died. Is that true?" I nodded still looking at the wall, I could feel his cold body next to mine.

"And another girl said that your Bella's cousin," he said

"If your planning to kill the ones I love, I'll kill you before you think of a plan how," I glared at the wall not able to look at him.

"No, I would never," he said like he was acting appauled at the thought

"So what's your deal?"

"I told you already," I don't know how to think about what's happening anymore. what time is it, isn't school over yet? I made a quick glance at the clock it was only 12 o' clock. Esme told if I need her she was down stairs

"Ahh, you have a heartbeat, but you don't smell anything like them," he's finding out maybe I should get Esme

"Cause, I'm like them," I breathed, he was dazzling me and I didn't even have to look at him.

"And you ate, and you slept last night," he said, NO, hot tears burned down my face. "but why?" he asked himself, I couldn't do this anymore, I did like him. The way we got mad at each other, the way he tries to make my life a living hell. Is just because…..I turned to look at him

"Just don't break me, okay," I said, my face stained with tears. I knew he creaked the code at lest the one he was trying to find out.

"You still didn't answer my question," our faces were inches apart, we were going to kiss again but then there was a knock at the door. I jump and I fell off my chair.

"Oww," Mark was laugh but now he was on the other side of the room.

"Just have something for you downstairs," Esme said trying not to say food, good cause I was hungry. I got up from the floor and followed Esme to the kitchen.

"I know you hear us. You don't have to act like you didn't," I told cause I knew she wanted to say something.

"Just be careful, we can't trust him. Not yet," she told me and gave a hug and wiped my tears away.