"Mom! Kakuzu's not a bad person!" Hidan tried for what felt like the millionth time that hour.
"Honey, he's a bad influence. Just look at his parents and his brother. What kind of an influence to they have on him? It's just not safe. I want you to be someone successful, not someone living in some broken down apartment with only drugs for comfort."
"Mom-"
"Hidan, your mother is right," Hidan's father said, stepping in. "This Kakuzu isn't a very stable person. You need to have reliable, responsible people around you."
"You don't even know him! Kakuzu is responsible, he's got like, a million fucking jobs!"
"Hidan, do you actually know what Kakuzu does for his jobs?"
"Uh. . .no. . ."
"He could be pedaling! Hidan, I don't want you hanging around him. That's final!"
"That's completely unfair! You can't decide my love life!"
"As long as you're in our house, Hidan, you'll live under our rules."
"You don't have a problem with any of my other friends!" Hidan shot.
"Uchiha Itachi is the son of corporal leaders. Fuuma Pein is the son of a wealthy bank owner. Hoshigaki and Konan Kisame have stable lives with parents who both work and are very stable guardians."
"What about Deidara?"
"He has some rather unpleasant circumstances. We can excuse him, as should you, from any poor choices he makes. You should be his good influence, not the other way around." Hidan had half a mind to tell them Deidara was pregnant, but that would mean he himself wasn't being a good influence. Ending the argument maturely with screams of how his parents had ruined his entire life, Hidan stomped off to his room to go throw a good fit.
Deidara sighed. Hopefully this would be his last trial to endure before childbirth. Taking a deep breath, he plunged into the gym teacher's office. "Asuma-sensei?" he asked politely.
"What do you want, Deidara?" Asuma boomed. Deidara winced. Asuma was one of those typical gym teachers who believed anything less than a football quarterback was a lazy piece of trash, and who also coached the football team and called the boys girls.
"My d-doctor says I can't do gym class. . ." Deidara stuttered, shoving the note at Asuma. Asuma picked it up and glanced down at it, quickly skimming over it before looking up and giving Deidara an unconvinced look.
"You're pregnant?" he demanded. Deidara nodded, feeling his cheeks flush. "That's disgusting. So you're not a boy?"
"I-I'm a guy, I just. . ."
"This is just sick. I don't want you anywhere near the boys' or the girls' locker rooms, you sick pervert." Deidara nodded, keeping his eyes trained on the floor. "This is so wrong. You're going to hell." Deidara nodded again, wishing he could just leave. Anything so he could get away. "Just- just go to the library or something. I don't want to see you in here again."
"Sure, un."
"And don't even think of looking at the boys while you leave." Asuma called after Deidara as he began to leave. Deidara winced at how loud that was, but managed to make it out alive. Taking deep gulps of fresh, autumn air, he tried to calm his nerves. He wouldn't normally be this distraught over something like this, he got it all the time. But this pregnancy had his emotions all over the entire emotional spectrum.
"Deidara?" Ino asked, yawning and turning on the light in the kitchen. Deidara looked up. "What the hell are you eating? Don't tell me you actually. . ."
"I always eat ramen with ketchup, un," Deidara said unconvincingly. Ino rolled her eyes and pulled up a chair next to Deidara.
"Dei-kun, I know something's been up. Does it have to do with Sasori?"
"Um. . ."
"Deidara, you can trust me. I won't tell anyone," Ino lay her hand on top of Deidara's. "Something is really bothering you. What is it?" Deidara took a deep breath.
"You have to promise not to freak out or anything. . ."
"I promise! Dei, you know me!"
"All right then. . .I'm pregnant."
"Nani?!"
"Shh! Do you want everyone to hear you?"
"Come on, we're the only ones here who know where babies come from. So Sasori knocked you up?" Deidara nodded, blushing. "So you're going to get an abortion?" Deidara shook his head.
"My doctor says I can't. So I have to. . .birth this thing, I guess." Ino didn't say anything, letting her eyes rest on Deidara for a long moment. Finally, she spoke.
"Deidara, promise me one thing," she whispered hoarsely.
"What?"
"You won't let it end up in a place like this," Deidara bit his bottom lip.
"Believe me, that's the last thing I want, un."
"Hey, Sasori," Neji whispered. "Is it me, or is Deidara getting fat?" Sasori looked up, not enjoying having his reading interrupted.
"Yes, he's fat. Why?"
"He's usually so skinny. . .and he's not fat everywhere. . ." Neji coughed.
"If you're wondering about something in particular, just ask it."
"What's going on with him?" Neji asked.
"He's pregnant."
"NANI?!"
"Yes, he's pregnant. Now turn back around, the teacher's looking." Neji turned back around and pretended to be reading, when all the while he was scribbling notes and passing them around. Sasori sighed, what immature children.
Deidara felt a tap on his shoulder and looked up. "What do you want, Kiba, un?" he asked.
"Is it true you're pregnant?" he asked loudly. Deidara's eyes widened.
"Um. . . No?" he tried. Kiba rolled his eyes.
"That's fucking nasty," he drawled. Deidara looked to Kiba's best friend, Shino, who was standing beside him. Usually Shino wouldn't go along with his friend's crazy schemes, but this time he seemed not to care what Kiba said to Deidara.
"Where did you hear it, un?" Deidara asked, standing up. He wouldn't get any sleep now.
"Sasori-san. You're such a slut. Seriously, you're pregnant, and dating Tobi! And who's fucking kid is it? Sasori's?"
"It's none of your damn business, un," Deidara spat, feeling his face flush. "You have no right to judge me."
"Oh, but I just did. But come on, you have to admit, it is a bit sluttish to date Tobi while bearing some other guy's baby. How is that supposed to make Tobi feel?"
"It's not your place to even think about that, un. Now get out of my face, yeah!" Deidara wished he were taller, that he hadn't had his growth stunted because of his female hormones. Kiba and Shino were those insanely tall guys that everyone envies.
"I'd be in your face if you were a bit taller," Kiba said, snickering as if he had made some witty remark.
"So what are you here for, hmm?" Deidara snapped.
"To confirm the rumor flying around the school. If I were you, I'd keep my face hidden until you graduate." Kiba laughed as he and Shino walked off. Deidara's heart sank.
"No," he breathed. In a varying state of cardiac arrest, Deidara burst from the library, looking around quickly as if he could spot a giant rumor walking around. He didn't see it, but some girls started whispering and snickered the second they saw him. Two guys looked at him then immediately ignored him. Sighing, he realized his life was about to get a whole lot tougher.
It was a month since Sasori started the rumors. When people ignore you, you tend to notice those who treat you normally. Deidara found only a few people stuck out, his friends mostly, but one did. This would be someone Deidara wouldn't have been able to pick out from a crowd, asides from the amazingly dorky haircut and strange obsession with green. And Deidara noticed him for a good reason: he was nice, and didn't care what people thought of him either.
Deidara had been expecting something awful for the past week, but this didn't seem to cross his mind as he walked alone through the halls after school. He had been sitting at the front of the school with Hidan and Itachi when he started getting cramps. Deciding exercising would to the trick, Deidara left the two lazy bastards at the front of the school to go take a walk. Hidan's incessant chattering and Itachi's growing tension and rage had not fueled his decision in the slightest.
Deidara found himself by the gym. He rubbed his stomach, which was showing a slight bump. His cramps were starting to go away, and he contemplating making the long trek to the front of the school. Then again, Hidan probably had something very personal and important to say to Itachi, so it might just be better if Deidara stayed here. Deidara wasn't too deeply involved with his thoughts, and heard when three people approached him.
Deidara turned to face Neji, Kiba, and Shino. Kiba and Neji were holding baseball bats, and Shino was holding a camera. Deidara instantly went into defense mode, backing away from the building so as not to be cornered. "What do you want, un?" Deidara asked suspiciously. Kiba smirked, taking a menacing step forward. "I'm a bit curious. Are you a boy, or a girl?" Kiba took another step forward, and so did Neji. Deidara took a few more steps backwards, and found himself pressed up against another building. Right, school had those.
"Get away from me, un," Deidara said, hoping they would listen. They small group advanced forward, trapping Deidara against the wall. Kiba leapt forward suddenly, grabbing Deidara's arm. Deidara tried to throw him off, but Neji hit him in the side with the baseball bat. Deidara gasped in pain, and Neji hit him in the back this time. After another hit, Deidara crumpled, curling himself in on his stomach to protect it. Kiba still had hold of his left arm, and now he grabbed Deidara's other hand. Deidara struggled again, but stopped the instant Neji hit him in the back of the head with the bat.
"There we go," Kiba said, moving Deidara was in a sitting position against the wall. Kiba worked himself behind Deidara, grabbing his arms and holding them still. Deidara, tears welling in his eyes, turned to Shino.
"Sh-Shino, help!" he tried. Shino shrugged and held up the camera.
"Frankly, Deidara, I'm curious. And so is the rest of the school, I might add. These pictures might go for quite a nice sum." Deidara's eyes widened in shock, fear, and pain. Neji dropped to his knees, reaching for Deidara's belt. Deidara kicked at him. Growling, Neji slapped him hard across the face.
"Help!" Deidara screamed. Kiba forced his hand over Deidara's mouth.
"Jeez, could you be any louder? Just shut up!" he cried. Neji reached again for Deidara's belt, undoing it and throwing it aside. Not too gently, he pulled Deidara's pants down to his knees and began the same treatment with Deidara's boxers. Deidara kicked again, biting Kiba's hand. "Ow! Fuck you. . ." Kiba growled. Neji picked up the baseball bat and clubbed Deidara over the head, hard. Deidara felt dizzy and sick, his vision swimming. Once he stopped struggling, Neji pulled his pants and boxers all the way off. Sitting back, Neji moved Deidara's legs so they were spread and his knees were by his ears. Shino lifted the camera and began snapping pictures, all the while Deidara emitting feeble protests and pleas to stop.
"Stop!" a familiar voice yelled. The three looked up, but Deidara didn't care, letting his head fall to the side, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. Kiba dropped him like a hot potato, Neji quickly stood and ran, Shino tucking the camera back in his pocket while following suite. Kiba looked slightly turn, but with one last kick to Deidara he too ran off. Deidara opened his eyes and looked into the worried face of Rock Lee.
"Deidara-san?" he asked. Deidara blinked, his tears stopping.
"Lee?" he asked, thoroughly confused.
"Here, Deidara-san," Lee held Deidara's pants and boxers out to him. Deidara blushed. Lee politely stood up and turned his back, and it was then that Deidara saw a man with him. Feeling even more ashamed, Deidara quickly stood up and slipped back into his clothes.
Deidara coughed. "You done?" Lee asked without turning around.
"Yeah," Deidara said hoarsely. Lee and the man both turned around. Lee rushed up to Deidara, clasping his hands.
"Are you all right, Deidara-san?" he asked worriedly. Deidara nodded, taking a deep breath. "What were they doing?"
"They wanted to know my gender. . .un. . ." Deidara mumbled, looking down. "Thank you for stopping them."
"Hoodlums!" the man cried. Deidara turned his gaze to him. He had the same haircut as Lee, and the same obsession with green. "I'm Lee's father, Gai. We were here training when we heard you screaming. I can't believe they would do such a thing!" Deidara nodded slowly, and then his face paled, and he ran over to a nearby trashcan, vomiting into it. Lee and Gai were instantly by his side.
"Are you all right? Oh my God, what if you have a concussion? We have to get you to a hospital, Deidara-san!" Lee cried. Deidara turned his, wide, scared eyes to Lee.
"The baby, un. . ." he whispered, hand flying to his stomach. Lee glanced down.
"What is it?" Gai asked. Deidara gulped, too worried to feel embarrassed or ashamed.
"Deidara-san is pregnant," Lee explained hurriedly. "Dad, we have to get him to a hospital!"
"Right. Come on." Gai swept Deidara up bridal style and started carrying him to the parking lot. Halfway there, Deidara fainted.
"My, my, my. You sure are high maintenance, Dei-chan." Deidara cracked his eye open and saw a certain pink haired girl standing beside him.
"What?" Deidara breathed, looking around. He was in Jiraiya's office, on the examining table. Shizune stood beside Sakura, not looking particularly worried. "What happened?"
"Some very nice people brought you here. We couldn't get the whole story out of them, but they did say you threw up and your head was hit. Don't worry, you don't have a concussion."
"What about the baby?" Deidara asked, sitting up.
"It's fine. Everything is hunky-dory." Sakura gave Deidara a brilliant smile. "That Rock Lee, he's pretty nice. He and his father are still waiting outside. Can I let them in?"
"Ok. . ." Sakura leapt up and opened the door. Shizune took this opportunity to hand Deidara a piece of paper.
"That's the date of your first ultra-sound," she explained. Deidara nodded and when he looked back up, Lee and Gai were standing in front of him. Lee's eyes looked like plates.
"Are you all right, Deidara-san?" he asked.
"Yeah, un. I'm fine, yeah."
"Do you know those boys' names?" Gai asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Yeah, un. Neji, Kiba, and Shino."
"I'm going to alert the school of this. It's outrageous that they would do such a thing!"
"Yeah," Deidara sighed, swinging his legs off of the examining table. "Thanks for taking me here, un."
"Don't worry about it, Deidara-san. We'll take you home, too." Lee said.
"It's ok-"
"I insist," Gai said, stepping in. Deidara sighed, knowing he couldn't win this battle.
"All right. Can we go, un?"
"Of course. Thank you," Gai and Lee bowed to Shizune and Sakura. And, with a very broken and dejected blond in toe, they left.
A/N: Thank you for reading! Review please!