Kakashi was wondering if 'those days' were beginning to be every day. He'd have to find some way to keep from having to conference with Kiba, Neji, and Shino's parents. Deidara had come in yesterday and told him exactly what happened. Kakashi, today, had written up the expulsion forms, and once they went home he'd be stuck in the middle of conferences, angry calls from his supervisors, and conferences with many, many people. There had to be a way to make it incontrovertible. Somehow, Kakashi was going to have to get their parents so angry at the children that they didn't care if they were beat up, they'd just be so, so, so angry that they'd ground their children without a second thought, not even listening to whatever protests the boys might come up with. Hmm. . .well, Deidara was a pregnant orphan whom their sons ganged up on and took revealing pictures of against his will. It couldn't be that hard. Trying to find inspiration, Kakashi began to write.
"Dear Inuzuka-san, your son Inuzuka Kiba has been expelled for mentally, emotionally, and physically scarring a fellow student with the help of two other students. This incident occurred after school three days ago, and they cornered said student and, using baseball bats, beat him down and divested his lower half of clothing. They then proceeded to take revealing pictures, one of which is enclosed with this letter. They were only stopped when another student and his father investigated after hearing the victim of your son's actions scream for help. Unfortunately your son and the two other students who helped him, were not caught. Furthermore, the day after this incident your son and one of the students who helped him began selling the revealing pictures they took around school.
"In case you couldn't tell, this is sexual harassment at it's fullest. When questioned, your son claimed not to have participated, but as you can see, he is clearly in the picture. This is an outrage, and I am shamed to be the principal of the school that your son attended and also of the school where this took place. I would normally request multiple conferences with the parents of all involved, but as it stands the student whom your son attacked does not have any parents, and would be unable to attend the meetings because of certain medical needs. I hope this letter explains more in depth why your son has been expelled,
Sincerely,
Hakate Kakashi, principal."
Kakashi grinned. If he didn't know any better, it would seem that Kiba, Shino, and Neji had all beat up a crippled orphan. That would go down real well. Quickly, Kakashi started on another letter, this one addressed to the Hyuugas.
Itachi glanced in the rearview mirror for the hundredth time. Naruto was snuggled up against Sasuke, who had his arm around the smaller blond. Sasuke noticed his brother looking at him, and the little shit smirked. 'FUCK ME IN THE BACKSEAT, FUCK ME IN THE-' Itachi jumped and switched off the radio. Just what he needed, his little brother getting ideas. When he glanced back for the hundredth and first time, Sasuke was grinning. Naruto was oblivious.
"Why'd you turn the radio off, ne, Itachi-san?" Naruto asked. Itachi was still having a glaring battle with Sasuke in the rearview mirror.
"I've got a headache," he growled. Itachi's glare was saying 'Don't even think about it!' and Sasuke was replying with his own that said 'Oh yeah? Wanna bet?'.
"Hey, Itachi-san?" Naruto asked. Itachi decided that a glaring contest between him and his little brother was completely immature, and not because he had lost, and turned his eyes back to the road.
"Yes?"
"Can you give me a ride home once it's time for me to go home?"
"What's your brother doing?"
"He's going somewhere with Deidara."
"You're free to stay as long as you want. I'll take you home whenever you want to go home."
"Thanks, Itachi-san!" Naruto squealed, smiling brilliantly. Itachi sighed good-naturedly. Naruto was a cutie, Sasuke better not get rid of him too soon.
"You know, at first, I thought you were just as emotionless as Itachi," Naruto admitted. Sasuke blinked.
"What? Itachi isn't emotionless!"
"Really? I didn't think so."
"Well you're not his brother. Besides, I know who he likes." Sasuke smirked as Naruto became instantly captivated.
"Who?" he breathed. Sasuke smirked.
"What do you say?"
"Please?" Naruto begged. Sasuke knew his blond boyfriend was a sucker for gossip.
"He likes Kisame-san," Sasuke said smugly. Naruto's eyes bulged from his head. Sasuke chuckled, Naruto was just so cute.
"But why?" Naruto blubbered. "I mean, Kisame is so. . ."
"Kisame has morals. He doesn't just go for money."
"Did Itachi tell you that?"
"Mmm-hmm."
"So Itachi isn't in to looks, I take it. . ."
"Naruto. . .watch your mouth."
"Oops, sorry." Naruto blushed. Sasuke smirked and leaned forward, kissing Naruto the way he had been dying to all day.
Kisame sank down onto his bed, thoroughly tired. Konan looked over at him. "Long day?" she asked.
"Yeah. My boss decided it would be wonderful sport to make me run around like a maniac. How about you?" Konan shrugged.
"Nothing major. Some guys threw eggs at me, and I keyed their car."
"Ah. Did you get a good look at their faces?"
"Nope. I really need a better job than construction, but it pays so well. . ." Konan sighed. "I'll find something. I wonder what Deidara's going to do about work. . ."
"Right. Do you really request maternity leave from fast food restaurants?"
"Deidara's a waiter. He found a better job at some restaurant."
"Oh yeah. . . Speaking of Deidara, wait till you hear what Itachi told me!"
"Tell."
"Right, so Deidara was walking around after school, and Kiba, Neji, and Shino of all people jumped him! Can you believe that? And they beat him up and took those pictures, when Lee- oh, you know Lee, right?" Konan quirked a blue eyebrow. "Right, dumb question. Well, Lee and his dad turn up and whisk Deidara off to the hospital! Jesus, how weirder can this get? Anyway, everything's fine with the baby, and he seems in ok condition."
"Why didn't he come to school today?"
"He was sick. I'm not kidding, he would've come to school if he had felt better."
"Wow. Deidara's pretty brave."
"Yeah. . ." The twins sat in silence for a long moment, each in their own thoughts.
"We should probably go to sleep," Konan said softly. She stood and grabbed her pajamas, quickly changing and slipping under the covers of her bed. Kisame got up slowly, and stripped down to his boxers before climbing back in bed. He had been thinking about Itachi, as usual, and how guilty Itachi had felt. This was sort of a revelation for the Uchiha prodigy, admitting his feelings to himself was hard enough, but admitting it to Mr. Blue? That took some guts. Kakuzu sighed, staring up at the ceiling. "If you want, you can tell me what else you and Itachi talked about in the morning."
"I'll do that," Kisame muttered. Konan mumbled something, and Kisame knew she had fallen asleep. He envied her, for he knew the ceiling would probably hold his attention until morning.
Kakuzu's phone rang while he was driving. "Will you get that, Hidan?" he asked politely. Hidan said nothing, taking out Kakuzu's phone and answering it. "Hello?"
"God?"
"Um. . .who's asking?"
"Where is Kakuzu? You're Kakuzu? I see dead people. . ." Hidan sighed.
"It's your mom."
"Shit. Is she. . .?"
"Yup."
"GOD?!" the woman on the other end screamed. Kakuzu sighed.
"I'll take you home-"
"Your house is closer. I don't mind a detour," Hidan said. Kakuzu sighed. He really should take Hidan home, but. . .
"Fine. Just stay in the car, all right?"
"Ok." Kakuzu took a right, and after a minute or two they were outside a house that looked like a hurricane had been through it. Hidan glanced at Kakuzu. By his lack of reaction, the Satanist decided that this was normal. Kakuzu got out of the car in silence, and walked into the house.
Hidan actually managed to sit still for a few minutes, but when a shrill cry pierced his ears. Surprised, Hidan got out of the car and ran up the crumbling steps and into the house. He found himself in somewhat of a living room, a sunken, dirty old couch to his left, a dining room to his right. Kakuzu was in the middle of the room. He has his mother's arm around his shoulders and was hoisting her up, and she was muttering incoherent words. She was a pudgy woman, who's skin was the color and feel of wax. Kakuzu picked her up easily, placing her on the couch. He then turned to Hidan. "I thought I told you to stay in the car, Hidan," he said slowly, voice low. Hidan just stared.
"What-"
"She's completely stoned. I don't know how she managed to dial the phone, even." Kakuzu bent down and picked up the handset. His mother reached for it, like a baby might ask for something it couldn't have.
"The crucifix!" she cried. Kakuzu sighed and left here there, putting the handset back.
"I didn't want you to see this," Kakuzu murmured.
"What?" Hidan stepped closer to Kakuzu, who's back was to him. Slowly, Hidan wrapped his arms around Kakuzu's waist, pressing his cheek to the middle of Kakuzu's back. "I don't care," Hida mumbled. They stayed like that a moment, and finally Kakuzu pulled gently away from Hidan.
"I'm taking you home," he said softly, turning to leave. Suddenly, his mother cried out.
"Kakuzu!" Kakuzu, shocked, turned. She wasn't looking at him. Instead, her hand was reaching out for Hidan. Hidan stood transfixed upon the spot, staring at the completely mad woman on the couch. "Kakuzu, darling, come to Mama!" Hidan glanced at Kakuzu.
"Let's go, Hidan," Kakuzu sighed, turning his back on his mother and slipping quietly out of the house. Hidan glanced back at the woman on the couch, then quickly followed Kakuzu out of the house. Silently, Hidan wondered how far he would follow Kakuzu.
A/N: Ok, I apologize for the slip-up you ALL must've noticed, but were all too polite to say anything. Kisame and Konan are twins. Kakuzu: Who's eighteen? Kisame&Pein: raise hands. Anyone catch that? And, of course, I screwed up the birthdays AGAIN, and yes, I now know Kisame's brithday, and Deidara's brithday, and they aren't what I said they were. So feel free to call me on the shit I make you all read. Reviews please!