"See, you just look through the magazine and find parents. It's as easy as ordering an exotic pet, un," Deidara explained, shifting through the pages.

"Really?"

"Yup." Deidara was glad Tobi didn't ask how he knew. Something he'd never tell Tobi was how he used to buy these magazines and think up stories about the parents in them being his. Of course, that phase hadn't lasted long, but he still remembered it.

"We'll have to pick out a good couple," Tobi said, leaning over and looking at the pages of advertisements. "Here, how about that one?"

"They're religious freaks, un! Look, there's a sodding cross in the background! Jeez, the least they could do was not be so blatant about it. Here, this looks like a nice couple. How about we give them a call, un?"

"Hmm, all right. Circle them." Deidara uncapped his pen and circled their ad.

Deidara had grown up knowing not to undervalue parents, and that they didn't grow on trees, but this was getting ridiculous. He had been hung up on six times already! Deidara sighed, closing his phone fir the sixth time. "Well?"

"They heard I was a guy and hung up, un. Again," Deidara sighed, sipping his tea.

"Oh well. That just means they wouldn't be good parents. Do we have anyone else on our list?"

"Um. . .one more. I'll give them a call, hmm?"

"Sure." Deidara quickly dialed the number and waited for them to pick up. Finally a woman's voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Um, hey, my name is Deidara and I'm calling about your ad?"

"Ad? What ad?"

"The adoption ad?"

"Oh, of course!"

"Um. . .yeah, see, I'm pregnant, and I have to go through with the pregnancy because of medical reasons. I was wondering if you might be interested in, you know. . ."

"Taking the baby? Of course!" Deidara grinned.

"Cool! When should we meet and talk about this, un?"

"How about next weekend? Here, I'll write down your name. What did you say it was?"

"Deidara, un."

"Deidara. . .is there a family name that goes along with that?"

'Um, no."

"I see. Well, I'll call up my lawyer. Is next Saturday at 12 good?"

"Uh, sure. Where do you live, un?" Deidara whipped out his pen and copied down the address. "Great, un!"

"Right. Um, how old are you?"

"Seventeen, un."

"I see. Well, I guess I'll see you on Saturday, sweetie."

"Cool! Bye!" Deidara hung up, grinning. "She sounds really cool! I bet this'll work out perfectly!"

"Don't be nervous," Tobi said.

"Un," Deidara muttered. He was mentally going through all the parents he had met. There were Itachi's, who would just hand their son a hundred dollar bill instead of having a real conversation. Konan and Kisame's, who were always tired from working long hours for little pay. Hidan's, hypocrites with double standards and stubborn opinions. Kakuzu's, who didn't recognize either of their sons and were too high most of the time to even get off the couch. Pein's, who were enigmatic and made sparse appearances, but somehow came up with money. The group often wondered how, but whenever one of them wondered aloud, Kakuzu and Pein would exchange a glance before Pein would shrug and wonder as well. It was pretty obvious that Pein's parents pedaled to people like Kakuzu's family. What would this couple be like? Hopefully they wouldn't be anything like the parents Deidara knew. The best he could possibly hope for was a couple maybe like Tobi's parents. Tobi seemed happy enough, but maybe it was the same optimism Kisame showed when he had ended up working till dawn and not getting a wink of sleep because he spent too much time studying. The blue haired teen would wave it off, saying the least that could come out of this day would be a good grade. And if not a good grade, then he would've gotten a good night's sleep.

Deidara shook his head. He had been spacing recently. It was probably all part the hormones and lack of sleep. "Are you nervous?"

"Uh. . .no. . .?"

"I'm sure everything will be fine. What's on your mind?"

"Um. . .just wondering about them. . .how can I tell if they'd be good parents?"

"I think you'll be able to tell."

"But, like, I'm sure a lot of people seem nice, but what if they aren't?"

"What?"

". . .never mind. I guess I'll never know what kind of people they are until I meet them, un."

"Yeah. Don't worry, though! Everything's going to be fine."

"I sure hope so."

Deidara rang the bell and stood back, waiting for someone to answer the door. A young, thin woman opened the door, took once look at Deidara, and looked about ready to faint. "You wouldn't happen to be having car trouble, would you?" she asked. Deidara sighed.

"No, un. I'm Deidara, yeah," Deidara replied.

"Oh. . .oh my. . ." the woman sighed. "I'm sorry, I thought you were. . ."

"A girl? Yeah, um, pregnancy tends to occur in females, doesn't it?" Deidara snapped. "But what does it matter, yeah?"

"I'm just. . .I don't think this is what we're looking for. . ." the woman sighed.

"I knew it, un. This was just a waste of time and gas. Come on, Tobi, we're leaving!" Deidara turned, but the woman called out to him.

"Deidara, please, wait!" Deidara turned. The woman was looking hesitant, but resolved. "I- I'll pay, for the abortion. I'll pay for whatever you want. But- we were rather hoping for a conventional child." Deidara glared venomously.

"I don't want your fucking money, yeah. I'd rather starve than accept some pity money." Deidara crossed his arms over his chest. "Like you can write a little check and get the freak out of your life, hmm?"

"It's not like that. . ." The woman looked at the ground shamefully.

"Oh, yeah, sure," Deidara rolled his eyes. "You know that's a lie. I'm leaving, un. Good luck getting knocked up," and with this said, Deidara turned and stormed off. Tobi turned to the woman as Deidara shut the car door behind himself.

"Um. . .will you give this to him?" The woman held out a 50 pound bill. Tobi blinked, and reached out, curling the woman's fingers back around the bill.

"He'd hate me if I accepted the money, ma'am. It's best if I just leave," Tobi bowed and turned, quickly getting into the car. "Deidara?" he asked softly, reaching out to touch Deidara's shoulder. Deidara sighed, slumping back in his seat.

"I'm sick of people trying to buy me off, yeah," he mumbled.

"I'm sick of it, too," Tobi replied. Deidara looked up, and Tobi saw this was the right thing to say.

"Deidara!" Ino called. Deidara groaned, putting down his book and glaring at her.

"What do you want, un?" he asked, irritably. Ino held out his cell phone.

"It was in the wash. You should be more careful. It's Tobi, though," Ino said. Deidara reached for the phone.

"Give!" he whined. Ino rolled her eyes.

"You look like a beached whale, you know?"

"I can't help that I'm getting fat! Hand over the phone!"

"You really are such a brat, you know that?" Ino sighed, handing over the phone.

"Hi, Tobi," Deidara said, smiling. Ino rolled her eyes and left, letting a small smile creep to her lips.

"Hey, Deidara, um. . ."

"Yeah?"

"I was just talking with my parents, and they really want to meet you."

"Oh?" Deidara asked.

"Um, yeah. You've been invited to have dinner at our house on Friday." Deidara blinked slowly, rolling over to glance at his calendar.

"This Friday?" he asked.

"Yeah. . ."

"All right. . ." Deidara said slowly. "When, un?"

"About five thirty. Oh, and, you're welcome to stay the night if you want. . ."

"Sure, un. Sounds nice," Deidara said, rolling on to his back.

"Oh, I've got to go to my job now. So I'll see you tomorrow at school?"

"Bye, have fun at work, un."

"Bye." Deidara hung up his phone, setting it on his nightstand. Surprisingly, he found a nervous knot in his stomach. Was he that worried over meeting Tobi's parents? Sighing, he got up. He really wanted some pickles.

A/N: REVIEW!! (and thank you for reading!)