"Father?" Itachi asked.

"Hmm? Oh, hello Itachi. How're you doing?"

"Well. Sasuke's staying out of trouble, as usual."

"Ah, splendid!"

". . .how is your trip going?"

"Lucratively. We've almost signed the contract with the other company."

". . .I see. . ."

"Is Sasuke doing well in his relationship?"

"From what I can tell. . ."

"Ah, good, good!"

". . .I was rather wondering. . .if we might. . .talk?"

"Talk? Isn't that what we've been doing?"

". . .on a different matter, Father. . ."

"Ah. Well, as long as you can get it over in five minutes."

". . .how might I go about. . .telling someone. . .about certain feelings I have. . .for them. . .?"

"What? Oh. Tell them, it doesn't really matter. They'll probably do anything you want, it's just that way when you're rich. And use a condom, all right son?"

". . ."

"Well, I have a meeting to get to. Keep Sasuke well!" and with a click, the line went dead. Itachi sighed, closing his phone. How could he tell his father that Kisame didn't care if he was the crown prince of Whales? Looked like he was on his own for this one.

"It seems to me that this was set up," Itachi stated.

"Huh? Really now, what makes you think that?" Kisame said sarcastically. "Konan mysteriously disappears because of a test that she had to make up because she got an A- on it, Deidara is feeling rather pregnant and decided to get a ride home with Tobi, who also took Naruto and Sasuke home. For some reason Kakuzu picked up Hidan early, of all things, and I'm left to get a ride from you. Seems completely natural."

"You don't have to sound so bitter about the situation, Kisame," Itachi said softly, opening the door to the car.

"I'm not, it just seems a bit shady of them, is all," Kisame mumbled. Shit, he finally got some alone time with Itachi, why the hell was he complaining? Sighing, he got into the passenger's seat.

From the cover of a hallway, Konan shot Deidara a glare. "Rather pregnant?" she asked. Deidara grinned, shrugging.

"A-?" he replied.

"Touché."

"Why is Kisame bitching so much, un? Isn't he supposed to be on pervert cloud nine, yeah?"

"He's nervous. He has morals, you know, unlike some of us," Konan replied without hesitation. "But are you sure Itachi likes him?"

"I have it o good authority, un! Sasuke never lies, hmm! And Tobi wouldn't tell me something he thought might not be true, un," Deidara replied.

"I guess that's how it works in high school," Konan sighed. "Come on, they're leaving. Let's catch the bus, I have work at five." Konan walked off, leaving Deidara to run after her.

"So. . ." Kisame said, breaking the awkward silence that had descended upon them. "Are your parents home?" Itachi sighed.

"They took off to Hawaii and left Sasuke and me home," he replied. "Usually when they go they would take us with them and just hire a tutor, but Sasuke got grounded so I have to stay home and baby-sit him."

"Jeez, that doesn't seem very nice," Kisame said. Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"Oh?"

"Well, yeah, it seems like you just get dragged off to some summer home. I mean, your education would suffer from being taken around everywhere." Kisame blinked. 'Oh great, as if making it seem you don't want to spend time around him isn't enough, why don't you insult his lifestyle?' Kisame mentally slapped himself. Itachi was silent for a moment.

"That's certainly something I've never heard," he said softly. "Usually people are just jealous that we go off like that."

"Well they're just asses. I know some people wish they could have money and just relax, but frankly, if it means being dragged around like a puppy, then I'd rather not."

"Interesting. . ."

"I don't mean to insult you, Itachi, I don't know what I was thinking-"

"It's fine, Kisame. You've always been a breath of fresh air to me." 'Whoa, what the hell was that supposed to mean?' Kisame panicked. Itachi glanced at Kisame out of the corner of his eye, a slight smirk decorating his pretty, full lips. "My, Kisame, you're quite flustered today. Any particular reason?"

"Uh. . ." Was Itachi smirking at him? Suddenly Itachi's phone went off.

"Ah, fuck. . ." Itachi, with one glance at the road, slipped his hand into his pocket and threw his phone at Kisame. "Answer it for me, will you? I'm driving." Kisame opened the phone and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Itachi?"

"Uh, no, Kisame. . ."

"What? Kisame-san, what are you doing with my brother's phone?"

"He's driving and can't answer the phone right now. What did you want?"

"Well, I was going to ask for something. . .but I see he's busy. . .oh, Kisame-san?"

"What?"

"Don't go too far." and he hung up. Kisame stared, traumatized, at the phone. He wanted to reach through it and strangle that little duck-butt haired twat!

"Kisame? You look like you're about to break my phone. Who was it?" Itachi asked, holding out his hand for his phone. Kisame handed it over.

"Your brother. He was going to ask for something but decided not to."

". . .I see. . . Did he say anything else?"

"Um. . .yes?" 'Bad, bad Kisame!'

"What?"

"Something personal. . ."

"Kisame, he's my little brother. Anything personal to you would be personal to me."

"Not necessarily." Itachi narrowed his eyes at Kisame.

"Does it have anything to do with Naruto?" he asked skeptically.

"What? No!"

"Right. Keep your secrets, then." Kisame stared at Itachi. If there was one thing that Itachi might give a shit about, it was Sasuke. He was more of a parent to Sasuke than their parents combined, and spent most of his time trying to keep Sasuke out of trouble and in line.

"Uh, don't worry over-"

"I trust you, Kisame. You wouldn't keep something potentially harmful from me," Itachi stated. Kisame blinked.

"You seme awfully talkative and social today, Itachi. Any particular reason?"

"A while ago, I'd say about a month or so, I said I'd tell you something. It was something I wanted to talk to you about, but I wasn't ready then. I think I'm ready, now. . ."

"Oh! I remember! Well then, what's on your mind?"

". . .It's about. . .me. . ."

"I would assume. Either you or your brother. What's up?"

". . .I think I may like someone. . ."

"Uh-huh," Kisame urged.

"And I have a good feeling they like me back. . ."

"I see. If you want to talk about this in depth, you can pull over the car. Deidara told me Tobi nearly crashed when he confessed his feelings for Dediara."

"And who says I'll be confessing my feelings to someone?" Itachi asked.

"Oh, I think I know who might like you back. . ." Itachi pulled over the car. Kisame smiled.

"So you've guessed who it is, hmm?" Itachi asked quietly, a soft smirking playing upon his lips.

"I have a hunch. Mind putting it into the air, though?"

". . .promise not to make fun of me?"

"I promise," Kisame replied.

". . .you. . ."

"Knew it!" Kisame grinned, Itachi looking down, blushing. "Aw, Itachi, don't feel embarrassed! I like you too!" Itachi looked up.

"Really? You're not just saying that?" he asked.

"That would just cause more problems. Of course I wouldn't lie about something like that. I really do like you." Itachi looked at Kisame in a moment of shock, before allowing a relieved, happy smile split his face. Kisame couldn't hold a similar smile from his own lips, looking at the stoic Uchiha smiling happily at him was enough to make his heart melt.

"So. . ." Itachi coughed. "Does this mean you want to. . .date?" Kisame let a small chuckle escape his lips, Itachi was so innocent.

"Yes, I would assume so."

"So. . .does that make us. . ."

"Yes, Itachi, that makes us boyfriends."

"So. . .will you kiss me?" Kisame blanched, looking down at Itachi.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "It'll be your first. . ."

"Yes, Kisame, I'm sure." Without anymore hesitation, Kisame leaned forward and pressed his chapped lips against Itachi's curved, luscious ones. They stayed like that a moment, before Itachi slyly poked his tongue past Kisame's lips. Kisame didn't respond for a moment, before allowing Itachi's tongue into his mouth, sucking softly on it. Tentatively, Itachi wrapped his arms around Kisame's neck, fingers tangling in his blue hair. Kisame's own hands found their way to Itachi's shoulders, holding them gently. Eventually, though, they pulled back for air, looking deeply into each other's eyes. "Kisame?"

"Hmm?"

"For some reason, I can't stop thinking about what Hidan would say right now."

"And what is that?"

"He'd be saying 'this is really fucking gay'." Kisame chuckled.

"I have a feeling you're right." Needless to say, they made it home in one piece.

"Kakuzu," Hidan whined pitifully. Kakuzu sighed and looked up from the book he had been reading. "You don't even touch me anymore." Kakuzu sighed. "Is our relationship over?" Kakuzu slipped a bookmark into his book, realizing he wasn't going to get any reading done with Hidan whining like this.

"Hidan, it's complicated. I don't want to do anything that would upset your parents, but until you're eighteen they're your guardians. But. . ." Kakuzu trailed off, pausing a moment before coughing and continuing. "No. It's unfair of me to ask that. I can't-" Kakuzu stopped, wishing he hadn't even gone along with this conversation. "I'm a legal adult, and am the responsible one here. I have to respect your guardians' wishes. If they don't want you dating me, I don't think we should."

"But what about when I turn eighteen? What then?"

"Then. . .I don't know. It would be completely unreasonable for me to ask anything of you. You're only seventeen."

"That's two years younger than you, shit head! And in the first two years of your life you probably didn't learn anything anyway because of all the second-hand drugs you were exposed to!" Hidan leapt off the couch, glaring down at Kakuzu. He full heartedly expected Kakuzu to leap up as well and attempt to strangle him. Instead, Kakuzu lay back, turning so his back was to Hidan's.

"I'm not going to fight you on this, Hidan," he said softly. A great guilt boiled up in Hidan's chest, spreading itself out angrily. Without another word he turned and ran from the apartment, nearly tripping down the stairs as he burst into the sunlight. He looked around. Everything was quiet. But he knew he'd better get out of here fast, if he didn't want to run into any shady characters. And then how was he to get home? Stopping about halfway down the block he turned, gazing back at the apartment building. He couldn't go back, not after what he'd said. Sadly, he set his shoulders and began walking again.

Kakuzu sighed angrily as he stepped into the building. He really shouldn't be here, he should be out looking for Hidan, but for some reason, he really didn't care about the silver-haired Satanist. And now he was entering the only honest library in the whole city. Quickly, he strode up to the counter, telling himself he would just drop off his books and go to find Hidan. And he froze, staring at the worker standing behind the counter. "Do I know you?" he asked, setting the books down. The person froze, blinked shyly at Kakuzu, and nodded. "Oh! Tony, was it? Deidara's new boy toy?" Tony, that sounded like the sort of guy Deidara would mess around with.

"Um. . .Tobi. . ."

"Right. You work here?"

"Yeah. . ."

"Jeez, you're not very friendly," Kakuzu said. Sure, he didn't have tastes like Deidara, but he would've liked a better conversation than this shifty-eyed, awkward two-word exchange. Deciding this Tobi was just a rebound, he brushed off the matter. "I'm just returning these." Tobi awkwardly took the first book, scanning it. The silence was deafening.

"Hidan's sorry!" Tobi blurted out. Kakuzu stared at him, blinking in shock.

"Pardon?"

"Um. . ." Tobi looked about ready to faint. Kakuzu sighed.

"Look, I'm not going to beat you up or in any way hurt or molest you. So open your mouth and spill it!" Tobi squeaked.

"I just got a call from Deidara! Hidan's over at his place! He just mentioned it, I'm sorry! I can't tell you any more!" Tobi looked about ready to keel over.
Kakuzu sighed, rubbing his forehead tiredly.

"What's got your thong in a knot?" he snapped. "Am I too ugly to stomach?" Oh yes, he really wasn't in a good mood today.

"No! I'm sorry!" Tobi really looked like he was going to faint. Kakuzu sighed irritably. He looked around. Noticing a chair, he quickly snatched it and brought it around the counter, pushing Tobi into it.

"Will you stop fucking hyperventilating? I'm not actually going to hurt you," Kakuzu said, trying to keep his voice under control. Tobi nodded. Kakuzu noticed how red his face looked. Reaching forward, he felt the younger teen's forehead. "You're running a fever. Stay here." Kakuzu walked off to the drinking fountain, taking out his handkerchief. He remembered he had started carrying one when Hidan had taken to getting in to fights. He'd needed constant cleanup, so Kakuzu had simply taken to carrying it around.

After getting it damp enough, he walked back over to Tobi and placed the cool cloth to his forehead. "Is that better?" he asked gruffly. Tobi nodded. "What the fuck is going on? You're not so antisocial you can't handle holding a proper conversation, are you?"

"No. . .I just haven't been feeling well. . ."

"Then what the fuck are you doing here? Are things that bad at home?"

"No. . .I didn't think it was this bad."

"Well it's obviously bad if you can't even stand up. No- keep sitting, damn it." Kakuzu pushed Tobi back into the chair. "Keep still. If anyone comes up, just tell them you're not feeling well. I need to go make a phone call." Kakuzu, after glancing back at Tobi, walked off a bit and whipped out his cell phone, dialing Deidara's number. Deidara picked up on the second ring.

"Yeah?"

"Dei, it's Kakuzu. Is Hidan there?"

"Yeah. Yo, Hidan! You want to talk to Kakuzu?"

"Um. . .do I have to?"

"Jesus, Hidan, he fucking called! Might as well give him a little chit-chat, eh?"

"Aw, Dei. . ."

"Hidan, stop being such a baby. Here-" And Hidan was put on the line.

"How did you know I was here?" Hidan demanded.

"I'm at a library and Tobi told me."

"Oh. . .so you went to a library?"

"Yes, Hidan. That's why I'm at the library."

"Don't get sarcastic with me, bastard!"

"Since when was I the bastard?" Kakuzu asked tiredly, wishing he had a chair to sit in. This conversation was not what he wanted.

"Since you decided to. . ."

"Please, Hidan, let's not go into this."

"You can't do this!" Hidan cried.

"Hidan! Can you just listen for one goddamned minute? I don't want to go through this again. Please. I know it's unfair of me, but if you really insist, I'll wait until you're eighteen, and then we can do whatever we want."

". . .No. If you can't care about me now, how can me being eighteen change that?"

"Have you listened to a word I've said? I know I've heard every useless word that's come out of yours!"

"I hate you! How can you pretend to be so respectable when all you are is trash? How can you pretend to care about morals and what's socially acceptable when all you are is a piece of shit that's been raised on crack?"

". . .Hidan-"

"Just shut up! It's over!" and with this, Hidan hung up. Kakuzu closed his phone, just staring at it for a moment. What had he expected? A sobbing apology? A confession of undying love? Kakuzu sighed. Like Hidan would ever do that. Kakuzu mentally cursed himself for thinking he could get anything heartfelt out of the Satanist and made his way back to Tobi. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Better," Tobi replied. Kakuzu nodded distractedly.

"Are you dizzy at all?"'

"Just a bit. It only started this morning, though."

"Probably just a bug. Here, I need to make one more phone call. Stay here." Kakuzu walked off again, quickly redialing Deidara's number. 'We're sorry, but this number has been disconnected. Please hang up and dial again.' Confused, Kakuzu dialed the orphanage's phone. Ino picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hello, this is Kakuzu. Can I talk to Deidara?"

"Uh, sure, but he has a guest."

"Whatever. Just get him on the line." Ino sighed and sounded as if she were climbing stairs.

"You wouldn't mind calling for someone on the bottom floor next time, would you?" she asked.

"I'm not in the mood, Ino."

"Fine, fine." Finally, Ino knocked on Deidara's door. "Mr. Pregnant! Kakuzu!" There was a small exchange, consisting mostly of 'I thought I told you not to call me that' and 'What does it matter?'. Finally, Deidara was on the line.

"Yeah?"

"How's Hidan?"

"Um. . .he threw my phone at the wall, un."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Long story."

"What-" Kakuzu cleared his throat. "What do you think he thinks of me?"

"Oh, I don't know, un. Seems like someone fucked up big time, though, yeah. And someone owes me a new phone, hmm."

"It ain't going to be me," Kakuzu said.

"Oh no, I wouldn't dream of it, un. I'll get Hidan's parents to fork over the cash, yeah. Hidan doesn't work, so it'll just come out of his college funds, yeah."

"You have a sick mind. Speaking of which, your new toy is sick."

"Hmm?"

"Tobi's sick. Nearly fainted."

"Holy shit, un. Tell him he's a fucking bastard and should go home this instant, yeah!" Kakuzu chuckled. "What?"

"It's nice to hear you finally care about someone. Make sure Hidan doesn't do anything stupid, all right?"

"Sure, un. Want me to tell him anything, yeah?"

"Nah, I don't think he wants to hear from me. Make sure he doesn't jump out a window, will you?"

'What? Who says he'll do that, un?"

"The guilt's killing him. Well, bye."

"Bye. . ." And Kakuzu hung up. He considered throwing his phone at the wall, too, just for the sake of breaking something. No, he'd better not. Better to throw it at someone than at something. Once he got back to Tobi, he decided that just keeping his phone intact was the best solution.

"Do you want a ride home?" he asked softly. Tobi shook his head.

"I should stay. . ."

"Look, if I don't take you home right now, Deidara is going to kick my ass. And I can't even hit him back because he's pregnant. So I'm not about to get my assed kicked by a pregnant guy." Kakuzu hoisted Tobi off of the chair. "Where's your boss?" Tobi pointed to a backroom. Kakuzu marched over there and knocked politely before opening the door and stepping in. A man with glasses was stacking books, another man sitting on his desk.

"And then-" the man sitting on the desk stopped mid-sentence, staring at Kakuzu. "Kakuzu."

"Orochimaru." Kakuzu nodded at the black haired man. He then turned his sights to the man with the glasses. "Tobi's sick, he's taking off early."

"Oh my. . ." the man looked around, somewhat unaware that he had an employee. "Did he go into the forbidden wing? My, what dreadful things would happen to him if he dared go there!" Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." Kakuzu turned to leave, when Orochimaru said something.

"Ever the coward, he is. Can't stand to look me in the eye, even after what he did to me. . ." Kakuzu stopped, pondered how angry Kabuto could get, decided it didn't really matter, and turned around. He then, without a word, slugged Orochimaru so hard that he fell off the desk and to the floor with a crash. Turning on his heel, and hearing a few 'Oh my, oh my's' from Kabuto, Kakuzu grabbed Tobi and dragged him out of there. Man, how much could one person fuck his life up in a single day? Kakuzu stopped at his car, throwing open the door and letting Tobi climb in. He was about to get in himself, when he felt a cold hand on his shoulder.

"Kakuzu. . ." Fuck that. Things just got worse.

A/N: Hey all, sorry for the fluff in the last chapter! And sorry, but one more fling before I finally send Kakuzu and Hidan into suspended animation. And no, asides from showing how caring Kakuzu is, there's no real reason for Tobi being sick. But we DID get to meet Orochimaru, who has a thing against Kakuzu. What could Kakuzu possibly have done to Orochimaru? And what the fuck does Orochimaru decide to do? And who has cold hands? Find out more, with my shitty cliff hanger! (I only put it in because the chapter was getting too long. Oh well, I like it!) Four reviews, please!