"Is this shit on?" Hidan sat back, adjusting the camera, and grinning. "Um, hi, my name's Jashin Hidan. Heh, I'm usually self-centered enough to send you guys a tape promoting myself, but I'm not smart enough to even think about college. However. . ." Hidan held up a picture of Kakuzu. "He is. Heh, ain't he cute? He doesn't like cameras, don't hate him for not smiling. And there's a lot of reasons he shouldn't smile, actually. Here, I'm getting off topic. I actually brought a dictionary to be sure we're clear on the definition. "Scholarship- a sum of money awarded to a student to help with living expenses, study, or travel." Hidan looked up from the dictionary, straight at the camera. "Hmm, well, the key word here is awarded. Who really deserves to get their education paid for? I think Kakuzu does. I mean, you've got to be a freaking genius to be able to get your education paid for, and seriously, Kakuzu bumped the fuckin' grade curve up. No joke! So he's smart enough, seriously. But, I guess, so are a lot of other people." Hidan leaned forward.
"But all those suckers can just give up, because Kakuzu needs this the most. He's never asked for anything. Seriously, I've know this guy for like, forever. He's spent the better part of his life working his friggin' arse off just to support his family, who doesn't recognize him most of the time 'cause they're too stoned. Don't think he does that shit, he's gotten enough hate because of them already, so just drop that idea right now. He pays to keep his parents alive and out of jail, he pays the payments on their car, and he's paying for his little brother to go through rehab. He has three jobs right now, and is barely scraping by. I'm sure by now you've received his application, and know how old he is, but just take a good look at this picture." Hidan held the picture up closer to the camera. "He doesn't look nineteen, does he? That's because he's such a hard worker. And you know what? He is still able to be a genius while working so hard and putting up with all the shit people give him." Hidan paused, gulping thickly. "And I've been one of those people. I know you don't want to hear me go into my social life and shit, but seriously, I should know the things he has to go through, because I put him through half of it. I really don't know why he. . .is still friends with me. He's the kind of person who will just take whatever you put him through without even showing it. He's, like, the best kind of guy out there. And I didn't realize it." Hidan coughed. "Right. He is the one who deserves this scholarship, because he's got the best frickin' grades of anyone ever, has no way to pay for it, and is able to handle any amount of stress. So give it to him or the guilt will kill you." And Hidan reached up, turning off the camera.
"So, Lee, how was your day?" Gai asked.
"All right. . ." Lee sighed, poking at his dinner.
"Mind telling me what's wrong?" Gai asked. Lee put his fork down.
"I'm doing fine in school, but sometimes being a loner just gets to me."
"If you're lonely, why don't you try talking to Deidara-san? I'm sure he'd be welcoming enough," Gai said helpfully. Lee squirmed. "What's wrong with Deidara-san?"
"Oh, it's just that. . .well, his friends are a little. . .and you know, he gets into fights all the time. I don't exactly think he'd be a good influence on me."
"If that's the case, can you be a good influence on him?" Gai asked.
"But I'm looking for a friend I don't have to baby-sit!"
"Why don't you just give him a chance? You barely know him," Gai said. Lee sighed.
"Fine. But don't expect everything to work out perfectly," he replied. They fell into a deep silence. Finally, Gai coughed.
"May I ask you something?"
"All right."
"If I raised you improperly, or perhaps made a few mistakes, would you hold it against me? Would you blame me if you. . .well, as an example, ended up in a mental institute?" Lee blinked at his father.
"I'd be sure to tell what was my fault and what was yours. Are you over thinking your patients again?"
"Um. . ."
"I'll take that as a yes. There's something you should remember about your patients, dad: they're mentally ill."
"I suppose you're right. But don't judge Deidara too quickly."
"Oh, I'm not judging him, I'm just saying what I've been able to see of him."
"Just give him a chance, all right?"
"All right," Lee consented.
"Hello, un?" Deidara answered the phone.
"Deidara?"
"Yeah," Deidara sighed. "What are you calling for, Ibiki-san? Are you going to be late, un?"
"No. Something's come up. I'll be there tomorrow morning to make breakfast, at about 8:30."
"Yeah, that would be great, if school didn't start half an hour before that, yeah," Deidara snapped.
"I think there's some heat up shit in the freezer. Cook that, will you?"
"If my baby ends up fucked up because of the shit you feed us, I swear you will never hear the end of it, yeah."
"Just shut up and cook dinner, will you? There's little kids counting on you."
"I was just about to say the same thing, yeah! What the hell is more important that starving orphans, hmm?"
"I'm not getting paid that much for this, you know," Ibiki said.
"What the fuck? Since when did that mean anything, you fucking bastard, un! Do you have any fucking clue what you're doing, yeah? You are the most inconsiderate, self-centered jack ass hell ever vomited back up, un! You deserve to die alone and penniless in the sewers, yeah! The next time I see you I'll kick you so hard you'll never even think about having kids, un! I'll beat you so hard you won't remember who the fuck you were, and when I tell you, you'll kill yourself, yeah!"
"Deidara! Shut the fuck up, all right? Stop being a brat and go make dinner." Deidara slammed the phone down, growling. Ino walked into the room.
"Quite a verbal lashing you gave him there. Is that because you can't do anything?" Deidara said nothing in reply to Ino. Finally, after deep breaths, he turned around.
"I'm making dinner." He trudged off into the kitchen and went to the freezer, taking out some heat-up crap. "Want to help?" he asked Ino.
"Nope. Come on, how hard is making dinner?" She said, sitting down at the table.
"No, not really," Deidara mumbled, putting the heat up dinner in the microwave. There was a long silence between them, lasting about a minute before Ino spoke again.
"Deidara?"
"Hmm?"
"What are you going to do when they kick you out?" she asked softly. Deidara sighed.
"I don't know, un. Maybe I'll crash at Kakuzu's place until I can find a place, un."
"How are you going to take care of your baby if your at Kakuzu's place?" Ino asked. Deidara sighed irritably.
"I don't know, yeah. I just know that I can't let it go to an orphanage, un." Deidara pulled out the heat up dinner and put in another one.
"Why don't you just go to Tobi's?"
"Because he'll be moving out of his parents' house too, un. He'll probably be living in a dorm at a college, and they don't allow boyfriends and boyfriend's babies in dorms, yeah. It won't take me too long to get a place, yeah. Don't worry, un." Deidara put in another heat up dinner. Ino sighed.
"I wish I were at least half as brave as you, Deidara. I really do."
"Ah! Good to see you, Deidara-san! Who's this you brought along?" Sakura greeted cheerfully, handing Deidara a hospital gown.
"This is Tobi, yeah. He's my boyfriend, un," Deidara replied, taking the gown.
"Ooh, he's such a cutie!" Sakura squealed. Tobi was reminded slightly of Obito.
"Back of, Sakura. You're scaring him, yeah," Deidara said, taking off his shirt.
"You're so lucky, Deidara," Sakura lamented.
"What? You want to get knocked up, too, un?" Deidara asked.
"No, I want a boyfriend. I left my man once I graduated high school, and I've been single since. Know anyone who's looking?"
"If you don't mind hairy old men, yeah," Deidara said, balancing himself on Tobi's shoulder as he slipped off his pants and boxers.
"Sakura, stop pestering him," Shizune ordered. "Come on, Deidara-san, we're just going to perform a quick vaginal check up. Have you been doing those self-examinations?"
"Yeah, un," Deidara said, climbing up on the examination table. Tobi moved beside him, sitting down in a spare chair as Tsunade and Shizune bent between Deidara's legs. Sakura peered over their shoulders. Tsunade pulled on a robber glove and pulled out a cotton swab.
"Tell me if you feel any pain at all," Tsunade said.
"Right, un," Deidara said.
"Have you been taking your vitamins and hormones?" Shizune asked.
"Yeah, un," Deidara replied. "And so far, nothing's happened that's out of the ordinary, hmm."
"That's a relief. I hadn't expected things to go this well, actually. Teen pregnancies often end up with something wrong, especially someone with your lifestyle," Tsunade said. "Hmm, looks as if everything's in order. Do you feel any pain?"
"No, un," Deidara said.
"Ah, good. Any discomfort?"
"Not really, yeah."
"Good." Tsunade removed her finger and swabbed the cotton ball over her finger. "Here, run this off for testing, will you?" she said, handing the swab to Shizune. "I want Sakura to learn about ultrasounds." Shizune nodded and placed the cotton ball in a plastic bag and left. Tsunade stood up. "It looks like everything's going according to plan. You can put your clothes back on." Deidara got off the examination table.
"So have you found someone to adopt the baby?" Jiraiya asked, speaking for the first time. Deidara paused, gulping.
"Um. . .no one, yeah."
"No one?" Jiraiya asked, face paling.
"Yeah, no one, un. So. . .I'm going to raise it, yeah," Deidara said the last part rather hurriedly. All activity ceased, Tsunade and Sakura stopping in their setting up of the ultrasound equipment to stare in shock at Deidara.
"Are you sure?" Tsunade asked. Deidara nodded.
"Even I'm better than an orphanage, yeah," Deidara said firmly.
"I'll be helping," Tobi piped up. "And a lot of people are willing to pitch in."
"But. . .raising a kid it a huge commitment," Tsunade argued. "And it takes up a huge part of your life. Are you sure you want to do that?"
"Yeah, un. Not like my life was going anywhere, anyway," Deidara mumbled. Tsunade sighed.
"Well, as long as you're prepared. Come on, get back up here. We're going to have a look at your baby." Deidara, now fully dressed, climbed back up on the table.
"Want me to do something?" Sakura offered.
"Just watch," Tsunade instructed and started explaining what each part of the equipment did. Sakura listened closely, but Deidara decided everyone else should just be ignored. Tobi felt slightly out of place, not being the father of the child nor a doctor.
"You ok, Deidara?" he asked.
"Yeah, un. Just peachy," Deidara replied. Tobi let it go, but he could sense something was wrong. Finally, Tsunade was done explaining the equipment and started spreading the gel over Deidara's stomach.
"All right, does anything feel out of the ordinary?" Tsunade asked.
"No, un. Everything feels fine, yeah," Deidara replied.
"Here, we're getting an image," Tsunade said. Tobi looked up and his jaw fell open.
"Wow. . ." he breathed. Tsunade smiled, the first content expression she had ever really shown. Tobi felt Deidara's hand encircle his, and he bent his mouth to Deidara's ear. "I feel like a dad," he whispered. Deidara blinked. Slowly, he turned to the screen, gripping Tobi's hand harder.
"So that's. . .?" he breathed.
"Yup. That's your baby. Would you like to know the gender?" Tsunade asked.
"Ah, no, un," Deidara said. Tobi glanced down at him.
"What?" he cried. "Aw, Dei-chan, I want to know!" Deidara wrinkled his nose.
"Can't you wait till it comes out, yeah? You won't explode if you don't know, un," he replied. "And besides, everyone's going to draw conclusions, yeah. Might as well just know once it's born, un." Tobi pouted and Deidara rolled his eyes.
"Oh, look! Is that another baby?" Tsunade asked. Tobi and Deidara turned back to the screen.
"What the hell, un?"
"Oh, no, sorry that's my mistake," Tsunade said, smiling slightly.
"Oh, yeah, just give me a heart attack, un!" Deidara growled. "I swear, this baby is going to be fucked up by the time its borne, un!"
"Have you been eating healthily?" Sakura asked.
"Um. . .well, when someone bothers to make dinner it's usually crap, yeah. But Tobi feeds me well, un," Deidara answered.
"How much do you eat every day?" Sakura asked. "You're too skinny, you know."
"They only give me two meals, un. There isn't always enough for lunches, and there's little kids who need lunches, yeah," Deidara replied awkwardly. "And I'm eighteen, and my funding got cut, hmm. They don't have to pay for anything, un."
"Wow, that has to be illegal," Tsunade said.
"Nope, un. They have to take care of me until I'm eighteen, then I'm a legal adult and I can take care of myself, yeah," Deidara explained.
"You're kidding. So they don't actually have to feed you?"
"Nope, un. It's actually only because I'm making meals for everyone that Ino and I get fed, hmm. But I don't have to put up with this for much longer, un. Once I go off to graduate, I don't have to go back, un." Deidara looked away, a light blush covering his cheeks. Tobi looked pityingly down at Deidara.
"You shouldn't be ashamed," Tsunade said angrily. "You should be enraged. I just might pursue this matter. Your whole life has been ruined because of this. Graduation is in a few weeks, and you're heavily pregnant. They can't throw you out!"
"It's legal, though, un. Not like anyone really cares about orphans, that's sort of the reason we are orphans, un." Deidara was looking away still.
"Deidara, why don't you just come home with me?" Tobi suggested. Deidara blinked, quite surprised, although Mrs. Uzumaki had already made the same offer.
"I- I would like to, but who's going to make dinner for all the little kiddies? I- I think I might have to take you up on your offer at some point, un."
"All right, whenever you need to," Tobi said, smiling genuinely.
"Thanks. And no, you can't know the gender," Deidara replied. Tobi sighed.
"It was worth a shot," he said, grinning. Deidara rolled his eyes, and Tobi felt him squeeze his hand a little more. He may act confident, but on the inside he was insecure and scared. But, then again, Tobi already knew that.
A/N: Hello, sorry for the long wait! I spent all weekend sleeping! Anyway, I've been realizing, I sure don't have a lot of ethniticity in this story. So, I'm introducing a few religions into it. I don't mean to offend anyone, and such, so don't take offense! I mean, I've been thinking about religion a lot since I met my grandmother, because she is just the best! You'll meet her later, I promise! Reviews please!