Disclaimer: Not mine
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: IchiGrimm
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things. Still un-betaed.

FAMILY GUY

"Great." said the Sexta Espada observing his reflection in the mirror

Right there, where his hollow hole should have been, now resided a full, whole stomach, complete with bellybutton. And Grimmjow knew perfectly what the absence of the hole meant. Hollows were souls who lacked something, who weren't complete. The only way to reach some kind of completeness was to absorb other souls that, unfortunately, were always too weak and transient, so the hole remained.

The only way to make it disappear completely at least for a while was to have a powerful soul still alive, residing inside one's body. Basically, for a Hollow, the disappearance of the hole was as final as a pregnancy test. A positive one.

So Grimmjow found himself in his bathroom, cursing all the times his lover topped without using a condom. Which was nearly every time. He had seen an arrancar pregnancy only once before and it had not been pretty. Nnoitora had been ecstatic when, one day, he'd woken up discovering that he could blink both eyes. Szayel and Aizen-sama were too, both for their own motives. However, Nnoitora's body was not strong enough to sustain both himself and the baby and he had fallen in a coma. It had been the other father's decision to have an abortion when the fifth Espada was only at the start of the second trimester. The two men were still together but the subject of babies and pregnancy became a taboo in Las Noches.

Grimmjow sighed. He had to talk to Ichigo.

"You're what?!"

"You heard me the first time!"

As expected the young man did not take well the news. He was shaking, pale and held a glint of disbelief in his eyes. Glint? Scratch that, it was a whole lighthouse. Grimmjow knew that nothing could have prepared his lover for this. Trust Soul Society to explain nothing to a substitute shinigami. He opened his white jacket, showing his stomach which was now devoid of hole, and Ichigo's eyebrows shot up towards his hairline.

"Your…" murmured the young man pressing the palm of his hand against the newly formed skin

Grimmjow knew that it was still too early for Ichigo to feel the child's spiritual energy but if he concentrated hard enough he could sense a tiny presence in his lower abdomen.

Suddenly Ichigo jumped with a wild look in his eyes. Grimmjow looked around searching for a possible cause but found nothing. They were alone and not a hollow or shinigami was in the neighbourhood. What. the. hell?

"I'm going to become Father!" shouted the young man with a horrified look in his eyes

"Yes, that's what me being pregnant implies." replied Grimmjow taking a backward step, ready to defend himself if his increasingly psychotic seme decided to attack him and his baby

"No! I'm going to become Father! My Father!"

Now Grimmjow was lost. Why would his lover be scared to become like his father? He'd never actually met the man but he couldn't be all that bad. Or could he?

"I'm going to become stupid! What if it's a girl? I'm going to become even more stupid, I'll segregate her in the house, I'll… Oh God, I'll start to squeal!"

"Ehm, Ichigo?"

"If it's a male I'll start kicking him with stinking socks on to make him more alert. I'll become a Daruma with beard! And… What if you die?"

The Espada delicately put one hand over his crotch.

"I'll print a gigantic poster of you with a flowery background and I'll start crying on it when our son won't listen to… Mph!"

Grimmjow had decided that he'd heard enough and silenced him with a kiss.

"Who cares what you'll be like after it's born? You're a great man. If you managed to grow up like this even with a father like that this means that our son can too. And what's this shit about me dying? If you really become a stupid idiot there's no way in hell I'm leaving you alone with my son."

Ichigo wrapped his arms around his lovers middle and kissed him a second time. Then his eyes grew round again.

"If I'll become a cretin like my father when my son is born… What the hell will my father turn into when he'll become grandfather?"

Grimmjow's left eye developed a tic.

A/N: Poor Grimm… Bleachlover, I hope you're happy! Not really a full mpreg but it helped me a lot. Now that I have solid scientific/spiritual bases to explain male hollow pregnancies I can continue my secret project! A picture of Grimm with his children can be found on deviantArt on my account. (I have the same nick, just google 'karijn deviantart'.) ...and I hate ff . net new layout.