"I wonder what my baby will look like, un," Deidara said suddenly. Tobi looked up.
"I don't know," he said thoughtfully.
"I mean, Kisame looks almost nothing like his parents for some reason, like with recessive genes and such. Naruto looks more like your dad than your mom, though. . ." Deidara looked at Tobi. "Can I ask you a personal question, un?"
"Shoot."
"You're adopted, right?"
"Yeah, it wasn't obvious?" Tobi said, feeling slightly awkward.
"Well, mostly, yes," Deidara replied, leaning back to look into Tobi's eyes.
"It's not a sensitive subject, we just don't talk about it much, I guess."
"Hmm." Deidara lowered his eyes. "So are your parents dead?"
"I really don't know. But I was adopted at birth, so it's not like I was ever. . ." Tobi stopped himself, glancing down at Deidara. "I'm sorry," he said suddenly.
"Hmm? Why?"
"I don't know," Tobi admitted. Deidara snorted.
"You're so sentimental," he said, smiling slightly. They fell into a companionable silence, before Tobi broke it.
"I've been wondering, actually. . ."
"Yeah?" Deidara leaned his head back again, staring into Tobi's dark eyes.
"Shouldn't we come up with names?"
"Names, un?"
"Yeah, you know, for the baby?"
"Oh. I was rather thinking about one simple, gender neutral name, yeah," Deidara said. Tobi pouted.
"But Deidara! I'm sure so many people's lives have been ruined because of lazy name choosing."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. We should choose a name that's nice, not just something that's gender neutral. How about we name the baby after someone?"
"After someone? Does this someone have to be alive?"
"Do you know anyone who's dead?"
"I know someone who's going to be, un. Besides, why would we name our baby after someone, un?"
"Ok, it was just a thought," Tobi said, smiling slightly.
"What?" Deidara asked.
"You said 'our baby'," Tobi pointed out. Deidara blinked and blushed.
"Sorry, un," he mumbled. Tobi got off the bed and sat down next to Deidara.
"I liked it," he said. Deidara glanced at Tobi.
"Hmm?"
"Yeah, it made me feel a little more like. . .oh, I can't explain it. But we are going to try and raise a kid together, so why can't it be ours?"
". . .I suppose. . . Do you have a name in mind, un?"
"Not really. But we can think about it, right? We don't have very long before the baby comes."
"All right, un. Knock yourself out, un."
Deidara was walking to the parking lot. Tobi had gone to find Naruto and they were all going to meet at the car. And frankly, Deidara hadn't expected anything to happen. "Oh Deidara!" someone called. Sighing, Deidara turned around and came face to face with Orochimaru.
"What do you want, un?" Deidara demanded, making sure he wasn't cornered against a wall. Luckily, he was more towards the center of the hallway. Orochimaru grinned.
"Aw, Dei-chan, don't be so hard on me," he cooed, stepping closer. Deidara checked his options: try to run and manage to outrun Orochimaru. Ok, a pregnant belly would not help with that. He could just fight back against whatever Orochimaru was going to do, but pregnancy got in the way of that. But maybe he could just try running, and see where that got him. Deidara turned his back on Orochimaru and started quickly away. As he predicted, though, Orochimaru caught up to him easily and grabbed his arm, slamming the pregnant teen against the nearest wall. "Don't try to run away from me, Dei-chan," Orochimaru breathed, his breath falling down on Deidara's face. Deidara wrinkled his nose, struggling against Orochimaru.
"Get off me!" he cried, attempting to wrench his arm free of Orochimaru's grip. But being pregnant didn't exactly help in a situation like this. Orochimaru leaned forward and pecked his lips to Deidara's, forcing his tongue into Deidara's mouth. Deidara bit down, hard, and tried to shove Orochimaru off, but all this did was make Orochimaru retreat a bit and give him a slap across the face.
"Don't make this too hard, Dei-chan. Just give in, I know you like me touching you," Orochimaru sneered. Deidara growled and struggled harder, trying his best to dislodge his attacker. Orochimaru chuckled, sliding his hand down Deidara's pregnant belly. "I find this quite arousing, actually."
"Get off me, you sick bastard, un!" Deidara screamed. Honestly, where the hell were the teachers when their students were getting molested?
"Aw, Dei, don't say things like that," Orochimaru cooed, sliding his hand behind Deidara, cupping the blonde's ass.
"What the fuck is going on?" a very shocked someone bellowed. Orochimaru didn't even have the decency to stop, forcing his mouth onto Deidara's again. Deidara pushed Orochimaru, and this time Orochimaru stepped back. He still had a hand on Deidara's arm, pinning him there, but his attention was elsewhere.
"My, what a pleasant surprise," Orochimaru murmured, a grin splitting his face. And suddenly two people were yanking Orochimaru off of Deidara. One was screaming the most vile obscenities he could think of, and the other was being quite stoic. "Kakuzu!" Orochimaru cried, latching on to Kakuzu's arm. Hidan was left to make sure Deidara was all right while Kakuzu tried not to beat the shit out of Orochimaru.
"What was that fucker doing?" Hidan demanded.
"Just attempting to molest me, un," Deidara said, taking deep, calming breaths.
"Would you let go already?" Kakuzu growled.
"Aw, Kuzu, you're no fun!" Orochimaru pouted. Hidan glared, and was about to do something when someone else came up.
"Deidara? Hidan? What's going on?" Tobi asked.
"Orochimaru's being a prick, un," Deidara replied, trying to calm himself.
"And what's going on over there?" Tobi asked. Kakuzu was looking like his self-control was slipping.
"This isn't good," Hidan muttered. "He had to deal with Obito this morning, I doubt he's on a good mood. I'm going to go help him." And with this, Hidan grabbed Orochimaru, trying to pry him off.
At first no one noticed the last person to join the scene. He didn't say a word, simply stood there, looking at Orochimaru and Kakuzu. "Aw, Kuzu, I hear Muslims can only have sex once, and whoever they have it with they have to spend their life with!" Orochimaru was saying.
"What the fuck?" Hidan screamed, kicking Orochimaru's shin. Orochimaru giggled, muzzling his head into Kakuzu's shoulder.
"What's going on?" the newcomer asked, a hint of sadness in his voice. Everyone, even Orochimaru, looked over at Sasori.
"Hi, Sori-kun!" Orochimaru cried happily, not even having the decency to let go of Kakuzu. Sasori just stared, and you could see his heart breaking in his eyes.
"What are you doing?" he asked. Orochimaru giggled.
"A bit of flirting, Sori-kun. Besides, what does it matter to you who I touch or who touches me?"
"God, will you ever shut the fuck up? You sound like you're stoned!" Hidan screamed, trying his hardest to dislodge Orochimaru. Kakuzu sighed, turning around and slamming his side into the nearest row of lockers, crushing Orochimaru. Orochimaru finally let go, but this time turned his attention to Hidan.
"You're pretty cute," he said. "But you have such a foul mouth! I know a better use for that mouth," Orochimaru grinned.
"You bastard!" Hidan cried, pulling back to punch him, but his punch landed on someone he hadn't expected. "Sasori?" he asked. Sasori, wincing, touched his shoulder tenderly.
"Aw, thank you Sasori!" Orochimaru cried, throwing his arms around the redhead's neck. "You're so good to me!" Sasori, sadly, tried to push Orochimaru off. Everyone just stared.
"Are we going to do anything?" Tobi asked Deidara. Deidara shook his head.
"Nah, that's the guy who refuses to acknowledge my existence, and the guy who just tried to molest me, yeah. Just let them kill each other, un."
"Ok. Do we have to stay here?"
"I'd like to, yeah. I'm curious as to how this turns out, un."
"Why are you flirting with him?" Sasori asked once he had managed to detach Orochimaru.
"I was flirting with him because I know he doesn't have wonderful sex anymore," Orochimaru replied. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and walked over to Deidara and Tobi.
"I will never miss the high school drama," he said. Hidan, after looking around, also joined Tobi and Deidara.
"Jeez, they make quite a good couple, don't you think?" he said.
"They sure do. But I don't think their relationship is going to last much longer," Kakuzu said.
"So you would've had sex behind my back?" Sasori cried.
"I couldn't get him that riled up even if I refused sex, un," Deidara said. But then Orochimaru started to make his reply.
"Or in front of your back, or having you join in, or to the right of you, or-"
"What?"
"As I said, no matter where you are, I would've had sex," Orochimaru said.
"You're kidding! You mean I don't mean enough to you to keep you from cheating?" Sasori cried angrily.
"Why are you so mad? I don't get what's wrong with having sex with different people."
"But I thought you said you loved me!"
"I do. And I love Kakuzu, and I love Kabuto-"
"Forget it! It's over!" Sasori screamed.
"Aw, but Sasori, I didn't do anything wrong!" Sasori ignored him, simply turning and leaving. Orochimaru sighed and ran after him.
"Well, that really made my day," Kakuzu said. "How are you feeling, Deidara?"
"Oh, much better," Deidara said, trying not to let his smile show too much. "I'm surprised he has the audacity to even look at you after what you did to him three years ago, yeah."
"He probably either forgot to take his medication or found some sort of drug," Kakuzu said. "Hidan? You spacing?" he asked suddenly, turning to the Satanist.
"I was going to go on a swearing rant, but this is too priceless. Come on, let's get going." Hidan and Kakuzu both turned, waving at Deidara and Tobi as they left. Deidara smiled, shaking his head.
"They've really made improvements, haven't they, hmm?" he said as they began to walk to the parking lot.
"What do you mean?"
"Hidan's gotten a bit more mature, don't you think, un? He's got a lot more respect for Kakuzu, too. But what could you expect? He ran away from home for him, un."
"What?"
"Oh, you didn't hear? Hidan ran away from home and decided to live with Kakuzu, un. But I knew they were too good of a couple to actually fall apart, yeah."
"That's a lot of faith to put in two people," Tobi said. Deidara glanced at him.
"Not the first time I've done it, un."
"Oh?"
"Yup. And so far, I've never been wrong, un." Tobi couldn't help grabbing Deidara and kissing him.
Kisame sat awkwardly next to Itachi at the huge dinner table. "So. . ." he said slowly, poking at his pork chops. Damn, the rich ate well! "Where did your parents run off to?"
"New York. And Sasuke decided to spend the night at Naruto's. I also gave the cleaning staff the night off."
"Why?"
"Because as long as no one's here, the house doesn't need cleaning all that much. We don't even use half these rooms. . ."
"Ah." Kisame glanced at Itachi. Was he the only one who felt awkward? "So. . . Are you feeling all right?"
"Peachy."
"All right, something's up."
"Is it illegal to be quiet?" Itachi asked calmly. Kisame sighed.
"No. . ."
"I thought as much." Dinner continued in silence. Eventually, they retired to Itachi's room.
As soon as the door was closed behind them, Itachi threw himself at Kisame, kissing him passionately. Kisame tentatively let his hands slide to Itachi's waist and kissed back. Itachi separated for air and dragged Kisame over to the bed, pulling them both down on to it. Kisame, realizing what exactly was going on, stopped, looking down at Itachi. "Please?" Itachi whispered.
"Do you think our relationship is at that point? We just exchanged less than ten sentences at dinner, and now you want to. . .?"
"Kisame. . . Do you like me?"
"Yes, but what you're asking for is a huge step."
"Please? The last person to touch me was. . .him. . ."
"Just seems like another reason not to," Kisame said.
"Don't you just want me?" Itachi demanded. "Why don't you just throw all common sense and screw me?"
"I've got morals, Itachi. I'm not like whoever you're thinking about, but I won't until I think we're ready." Itachi blinked up at Kisame.
"Even if I asked nicely?"
"Even if you asked nicely, Itachi. Because if you're not ready, I'm not ready." Kisame got off Itachi, sitting politely on the edge of the bed. Otachi rolled ot his side, facing Kisame.
"What do you think would constitute ready?" Itachi asked.
"When you're not begging me to touch you, and you're able to hold a civil conversation."
"My conversations are very civil."
"You talk civilly, but that's not really what a conversation is, Itachi."
". . .but you like me?"
"Yes."
"And you won't leave if I can't hold a civil conversation?"
"Nope." Itachi sat up, crawling over to Kisame and laid his hand on Kisame's chest, resting his head on Kisame's shoulder.
"All right, then. I suppose I'll have to be more social."
A/N: Hallo everyone! Who here feels sorry for Sasori? Please tell me! And I have a question of the chapter: How the hell did Deidara fit his ponytail under his hat?