Deidara, still immersed in pain, had gone beyond really caring. He just wanted this baby out of him. Tobi was still by his side, wiping the sweat from his forehead and whispering encouragements. Tsunade checked the monitor and sighed, slightly relieved. "All right, Deidara. Just one more push."
"You said that- ngh AH- an hour and a half a-AAAH-go!" Gritting his teeth, flexing muscles he didn't even know he had.
"Good, now just do that again," Tsunade said. Without a word Deidara pushed, more sweat beading on his forehead and more blood flowing from his body. Shizune bit her lip, not liking the sight of so much blood. "Deep breath. Ok. Now push." Deidara, mustering all his strength, pushed. Sakura handed Tobi a wet cloth to wipe Deidara's forehead with. Tsunade looked worried.
"Something's still wrong," she muttered. "And there's still too much blood."
"I still say operate," Jiraiya said. Tsunade sighed, looking to Shizune.
"What do you say?" she asked. Shizune glanced at the image of the baby.
"There's too much blood. It's been too long. We need to get this baby out right now," she said firmly.
"Ten minutes. If we aren't able to get this baby out in ten minutes, we'll operate," Tsunade said with finality.
Five minutes later, everyone but Deidara sighed in relief as the baby's head crowned. "Great job, Deidara. Give it your all, we can see the baby," Tsunade said. With a cry, Deidara did as he was told and pushed. "Good. Again."
"One last push, Deidara," Tsunade instructed. Deidara whimpered painfully and, gathering what little strength he had, he put his all into getting the baby out of him. There was utter silence, asides from Deidara's harsh breathing. "Why isn't the baby crying?" Deidara panted.
"They're going to get the cord from around its neck," Tobi said, heart pounding painfully in his chest. The baby was turning blue. Tsunade, wasting no time, grabbed a scalpel and untangled the umbilical cord. Slowly, the tint of life spread through the bloodied baby, and it let out a scream of triumph, little lungs working furiously. Deidara, still panting, let a small smile touch his lips. His baby was all right. Quickly, Tsunade handed the baby to Jiraiya, who cleaned it off and handed it to Sakura. Sakura then wrapped it in a green blanket, tagged it, and rushed it off to the infirmary.
Tsunade bent between Deidara's legs yet again, and in a minute or so had the blood stopped and the umbilical cord taken care of. Deidara, now having recovered his breath, was allowed to finally close his legs and lie back. He let go of Tobi's hand, closing his eyes and allowing his heart rate to return to normal. Tobi, not wanting to go far, pulled up a chair next to the bed. Tsunade smiled softly. "After a birth like that, he might have to spend the night in the hospital. But I'll let him rest."
"You want to know something interesting?" Tobi said suddenly.
"What?"
"The baby was borne on August 8, 2008."
"And from the sounds of it, Deidara went into labour at 8:00," Tsunade said thoughtfully.
"Let's name it Hachigatsu," Deidara mumbled. Tobi sighed.
"So unoriginal, Dei. But you rest now, we'll talk about names later," he said, running his fingers through Deidara's matted, sweaty hair. Deidara mumbled something and allowed his tired eyes to slide closed, curling up a bit on the bed. Tsunade smiled, but then frowned as she glanced at Jiraiya.
"Is something wrong?" she asked. Jiraiya blinked.
"Can we talk about something in my office?" he asked. Tsunade sighed but consented, and followed her fellow doctor down the hall to his office. Jiraiya closed the door behind them, then sank into his chair. "God, what have I done?" he asked softly. Tsunade raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
"I told you Deidara couldn't get an abortion for medical reasons, but the truth is, it wasn't medical, it was monetary."
"What?" Tsunaed cried.
"No one would pay for the abortion, so he couldn't get one."
"You're kidding. Do you realise what you've just done?" Tsunade screamed.
"That's not all. I'm also the same doctor who wouldn't give him the full sex change because of a lack of funding," Jiraiya whispered.
"You're kidding," Tsunade groaned. "You single-handedly ruined his life!"
"I know! What am I going to do?"
"I don't know. But you really fucked up this time."
"I didn't expect it to really matter. But because of me, he has to give up his life to raise an unplanned kid. And now he's dragged Tobi into it-"
"Don't speak about him that way, Jiraiya. He didn't drag or force anyone to do anything. Just think of him trying to raise a kid on his own. He just can't. And if anyone is qualified to help him, it would be Tobi. You can't do anything right, can you?" Jiraiya sighed.
"For once, you're right."
"Oh look! What a cutie!" Mrs. Uzumaki squealed, holding the new baby. Kakuzu instantly whipped out his phone and dialed Hidan's number.
"Well?"
"The baby's borne."
"Sweet! What's the gender?"
"Um, there's a green blanket, let's just check the tag. . ."
"They tag babies?"
"Yes, Hidan, so they don't get mixed up. It says it's a baby girl."
"Aw! We get a little girl!"
"Yup. Wow, this is so cool. She's adorable, you know?"
"What about her eyes?"
"Still blue. They'll turn whatever colour they're going to in a bit."
"Are you holding her?"
"No, Tobi's mom is."
"How small is she?"
"Pretty small. Just two and a half kg."
"What's she supposed to weigh?"
"Three and a half. But she's early, so it's ok. Hey, today's the eighth, right?"
"Yeah. . ."
"Deidara went into labour at eight."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah."
"Shit, that's freaky. Hey, you know what they should name her?"
"Hmm?"
"Nana."
"Such painful irony. Go call everyone, all right?"
"All right. Make sure no one drops her."
"Sure. Bye."
"Bye." Kakuzu hung up, slipping his phone back in his pocket.
"You want to hold her?" Mrs. Uzumaki asked. Kakuzu blinked.
"Uh, sure," he said.
"You have to support the head like that, and then you just hold her like that. . ." Mrs. Uzumaki instructed. Kakuzu did as he was told, and looked enraptured down at the small baby in his arms. "I really hate to be the first ones to hold the baby, though."
"Deidara doesn't care. He'd just care if someone dropped her."
"Are you sure he doesn't care?"
"He's not a romantic, no matter how cute it would be." Mrs. Uzumaki giggled.
"My how true that is," she said. "Do you know any names they were considering?"
"Deidara wanted something simple and gender neutral, but Tobi wouldn't go for it. That's about all I heard."
"I'm sure they'll come up with something, though," Mrs. Uzumaki said. Kakuzu smiled.
"I'm sure they will."
Deidara had long since fallen asleep, and Tobi was reading a book while letting his free hand stroke Deidara's hair. It was a calm moment, neither of them rushed or stressed, just a timeless, calm moment to spend together. That is, until the door burst open and the last two people who nobody wanted to see walked in. "I need to speak with Deidara-san," Chiyo said.
"Shh! He's sleeping!" Tobi shushed.
"At least, I was," Deidara mumbled, groggily opening his eyes. Tobi sighed. Deidara struggled, trying to sit up. Tobi leapt to his feet, helping Deidara sit up and lean back on the pillow. Deidara turned his eyes to Chiyo and Sasori. Chiyo pulled up two chairs, sitting herself rigidly in one, Sasori slouching in the other.
"To think," she said, voice crisp, "that this entire pregnancy went on behind my back."
"I-" Sasori started, but Chiyo silenced him with a stern look.
"Deidara-san, I shall be the first in my family to apologise for what has happened. Had I known-" she shot Sasori another glare "-I would have provided complete financial support."
"I don't want your money, yeah," Deidara said tiredly, but still with a bite to it. Chiyo's firm expression creased a little more in a frown. Deidara swallowed thickly, fighting to keep his eyes open. "After all Sasori's done, I would kill myself if I were forced to depend on you for money."
"What's wrong with my money?" she asked.
"Depending on you? Hmm, what isn't appealing about that?" Deidara sneered. "Chiyo-sama, I don't exactly hate you, but depending on someone who's treated me horribly seems almost as bad as killing myself, un. I can take care of myself and my kid, without degrading myself to accepting your money, yeah." Chiyo stayed silent for a long moment.
"I see you are unable to be persuaded. All you shall receive, then, is appropriate childcare."
"I-" Sasori started again, but Chiyo silenced him with another glare.
"I feel the need to apologise for my grandson. His reasons are completely unfounded, and logic continually evades his mind. The only smart thing he ever did was end your relationship, as I told him to. And now, it seems, you've gotten yourself someone better." Chiyo looked to Tobi, who blushed and looked away.
"You told him to break up with me?" Deidara asked. Chiyo nodded.
"Sasori-kun has problems. He isn't good to be around."
"Grandma!" Sasori cried.
'Shut up, boy. You do not have permission to speak," Chiyo snapped. Sasori sighed dramatically, slouching further in his chair and looking off moodily. "From what Sasori has told me, you are a clinically proven hermaphrodite. So when is your surgery planned?"
"Surgery?"
"Yes, to remove your female organs?"
"It's not planned, yeah. I'm living with them for the rest of my life, un," Deidara replied.
"I see. And how do you plan to raise your child?"
"However everyone else does it, yeah."
"How will you support your child?"
"However everyone else does, yeah. Work isn't impossible, is it, un?" Chiyo sighed.
"It's quite difficult to raise a child, Deidara-kun. Even with my husband, it was still difficult to raise my son. And raising Sasori was nearly impossible, being a single grandmother. But I was an experienced guardian, and bringing in a large income. How will you pay for the things your child will need?" Deidara sighed, and bit his lip, glancing at Tobi.
"I'm going to help, Chiyo-sama," he said, speaking up. "We'll have two incomes. And I'm sure if something tremendous happens, we have a lot of friends and family that would be willing to help." Chiyo sighed.
"I see. But living the rest of your life, until the day you die, with a child, and barely making ends meet? Is that what you want?"
"I don't see the difference from right now, yeah. I'm still taking care of kids and working my ass off for a small wage, un. If nothing changes, why am I supposed to regret it, un?" Deidara felt his eyelids droop. Chiyo saw this, and gave a final glance at Tobi and Deidara before standing abruptly.
"Sasori. We're leaving," she said, bowing to Deidara. "Deidara, I respect your decisions, and if you need any support your hesitation is your loss." Chiyo then straightened, turned, and left, Sasori slinking behind her. Deidara sighed with relief and settled himself, once again, down on the bed.
"You get some sleep, all right?" Tobi said. Deidara mumbled something, eyes already firmly closed.
"Wait in the car," Chiyo ordered.
"Grandma-Chiyo, was I that hard to raise?" Sasori demanded.
"You're a brat, that's undeniable. Now go wait in the car, I have business to attend to." In a huff, Sasori shuffled off towards the exit. Chiyo sighed, and turning down a hall, came face to face with the exact person she wanted to see.
"Chiyo-sama," Tsunade said, bowing deeply.
"I, in fact, wanted to find you. May we have a chat?"
"Of course, Chiyo-sama," Tsunade said. "I was just in Jiraiya's office. Let's go to mine." Tsunade lead the way purposefully down the hall to her own office, and offered Chiyo a seat. Chiyo took it, whispering a thank you as Tsunade seated herself in another chair. "What can I do for you, Chiyo-sama?"
"You remember the life saving surgery I performed on your husband, right?" Chiyo said. Tsunade nodded slowly.
"I'll never forget it. He still thanks Kami he was allowed to live."
"I see. Do you remember who's kidney he was given?" Tsunade bowed her head.
"Hai, Chiyo-sama. I will never forget it was your son's death that allowed Dan to live." Chiyo nodded slowly.
"You said you would some day owe me all your happiness. Do you still hold to that promise?"
"Hai, Chiyo-sama," Tsunade said, bowing her head.
"That time has come. I have a favour to ask. You are well acquainted with Deidara-kun, correct?"
"Hai."
"You are going to perform a sex change surgery and remove his female organs, for free." Tsunade's eyes widened.
"For free?"
"Hai. Do you object?"
"Of course not, Chiyo-sama. I was rather thinking the same thing." Chiyo smiled slightly.
"Good. You will perform the surgery as soon as possible. That will be all." Chiyo stood, and bowing, she left. Tsunade sighed, rubbing her forehead. Today had been such a long day, she felt like she had aged a decade. But she had one last task to do.
"Nana? But that means seven," Tobi said, making a face.
"Exactly," Deidara said, grinning. Tobi sighed.
"I refuse."
"Fine. Why don't we go with something simple and easy?" Deidara suggested. Tobi was about to reply when there was a knock on the door and Tsunade poked her head in.
"Ah, glad to see you're feeling better, Deidara," she said, stepping in and closing the door behind herself. "Um, Tobi, I'm going to want to talk to Deidara, um, alone. Is that all right?" Tobi nodded and got up.
"I'll think it over, all right?" he said. Deidara nodded. Once Tobi was gone, Tsunade replaced him in his seat, looking down at Deidara.
"Were you two discussing names?"
"Uh-huh. Tobi doesn't like Nana."
"I don't like it either. But it's better than Hachigatsu."
"Not even I could name my kid that," Deidara said, wrinkling his nose. They sat in silence for a long moment, before Tsunade continued with what she had come there for.
"It was almost twenty years ago I delivered a baby. It was a lot like this birth, actually. The baby had managed to twist the umbilical cord around his neck, and he had to be borne quickly. But luckily we didn't have to operate. He was a beautiful baby, though borne early, he was healthy and crying normally. He seemed like a vibrant baby to be borne in winter, but that's just my personal thoughts." Deidara, who was still a bit tired, just listened to the story. "But I remember the mother as well. You want to know why?" Deidara nodded. "She was a heterochromatic, meaning she had two different colored eyes. One was a beautiful blue, the color of a summer sky. The other was a deep maroon, the likes of which I'd never seen. And I was sure she wasn't wearing a contact." Deidara felt his eyes droop. "The mother was having difficulties, so I wrote down her baby's name. It was an odd choice, but I recorded it. It was later I learned the mother was out of her mind."
"Where's this all going?" Deidara asked. Tsunade coughed.
"Would you like to know the baby's name?" Tsunade asked.
"All right. . ."
"Deidara." Deidara's eyes shot open, and he stared at Tsunade, not really knowing how to take the news. There was a long, confused silence, before Deidara spoke.
"So what were you saying about the mother?" he finally asked.
"She was depressed, and mostly out of her mind. But I didn't know. Deidara, I'm so sorry. It was my call if she should be allowed to take her baby home, and I let her take the baby." Deidara closed his eyes, sighing deeply.
"So? I still would've ended up in the same place," he said after a long minute of silence. Tsunade sighed.
"I can't help but think I would've been able to prevent something. But you're right, what's done is done. I know this is sort of weird, but why exactly do you need a surgery to remove your female organs?" Deidara sighed.
"How am I supposed to ever get married?" he asked. "I'm technically both genders, so I can't get married as a straight woman or a gay man. At first I thought I could just hide it, and marry as a man, but now with the baby, I can't. But I suppose marriage is overrated, anyway. But dealing with it? Ugh, I don't even want to think about it. It would be so much better to just say I was a man without doubt over everything, yeah. Like, if I could just be one gender, it would make things less complicated, hmm. But whatever, I can deal. It's not like anything's different than when I was borne, un." Deidara sighed, eyelids drooping.
"I guess this is a necessary surgery. I'll schedule it for the day after tomorrow, to give you a bit of time to recover and meet your baby, and the everything will be fixed." Deidara stared at her.
"What?" he asked, mind overloading.
"I'm going to perform a surgery to remove all your female organs, free of cost, the day after tomorrow," Tsunade repeated. Deidara stared at her.
"You're serious?" he asked, eyes wide. Tsunade nodded. With what strength he possessed, Deidara sat up and flung himself at Tsunade, wrapping his arms tightly around her neck. Tsunade smiled, patting his back. He kept whispering his 'thank you's over and over again. And, tsunade had the feeling, the wet spot on her coat wasn't there before.
A/N: Ok, Nana means seven, and since I couldn't find eight, I just went with Hachigatsu, meaning August. Actually, it's not even a name, so whatever. XD Review please!