My last Chapter went a bit Spacky (excuse the term!) and stuff didn't underline or go bold and stuff, sorry. Also, sorry for the swearing in this chapter, it's only once and it fitted, don't boil me in oil or something. I know I have too much spare time but does anyone else laugh at some of the stupid things word comes up with, I mean, come on, it told me it's "incorrect" to say "Don't I" you have to say "doesn't I", ok now I sound weird…
1 Minute Later
'Dave, What's wrong Hon?' why is she so nice, doesn't she realize I've broken the golden rule of snogging (thinking about another girl/boy whilst snogging)?!
'Em, Babe, I…Don't think we're working' where is this shit coming from, I love Emma, don't I?
'Is that what it is? Come here, Kiss me for half an hour, and then dump me? I thought you were a gentleman Dave.' I had the urge to look over my shoulder and say "who, me?" but I think she might have chopped me up and used me as kitty litter so I just looked at the floor.
'Look, Emma it's not like that. It's not you it's me.' And that's when she slapped me. I did kinda deserve it though, "it's not you it's me" what was I thinking?
2 Minutes later
Great, now I'm back in the cold, with a red slap mark on my face.
30 Seconds later
And, I can see Mark big gob and his band of merry monkey spankers pratting about across the road.
'Oi, Dave,' Lucky me, a conversation with that Muppet!
'What, Mark?'
'Have ya been slapped? Been Dumped have ya?'
'10/10 Sherlock, I have been slapped and yeah, Emma dumped me, ok?' All of his little minions started laughing like drains, bet they've been dumped more times than me.
'Sherl… who? Don't try and act smart with me Mate; I'll kick Your 'Ed in.'
'Jeez Mark, how clear do you want me to make it, and anyway, it's none of your business.' No, Dave, Shurrup idiot, there's like 10 of them, ok there is probably only 1 brain between them, but…
'You what? You wanna come say that to my face?' they were all crossing the road towards me now, what a Peachy day this was turning out to be…
2 Seconds later
Please, god please. I know I've never believed too much but Hey, you've got to start somewhere. Now anyway, please, please say Mark doesn't kill me…
3 Seconds later
They're still crossing the road; they must be walking real slowly, like in Baywatch or something, just with smaller nungas.
1 Second later
Or they're planning the best way to slowly and painfully torture me…
1 Second later
Running…Pant…back to…pant…the…pant…safety of my…pant…house.
1 Minute Later
That's the quickest I've ever got from Emma's house to mine. I'd just better hope I don't bump into Mark and his mates around school.
Friday 24th May
8:37 am
Had the weirdest dream last night, I was walking through a revolving door for ageeeeees and after about 2 hours I fell over my own foot and smacked my head on the door, then the revolving door pushed my body round the floor and I got a carpet burn.
2 Seconds Later
I bet this dream has a secret meaning…
1 Second later
The secret meaning is…I'm a freak…
9:20 am
Note to self; don't ever leave shoes lying around when Sisters are permanently out for revenge. I've been looking for like half an hour and I give up, I'm going with one shoe on. I'm already 5 minutes late and I've got to walk there yet.
9:34 am
Oh Crikey, everyone is already in assembly and it's some visitor, probably here to depress the arse off me even further.
30 Seconds later
Yeah, I can here them from out here… "Dying children…need love…3 legged hamster…Blah, blah, blah…'
1 Minute later
I'm going in…
1 Minute later
That went well, I would have gotten away with it I f it wasn't for Rollo. I was sneaking to my seat, sneaky sneaky, and Rollo stuck his foot out, I fell over and brought a few chairs down with me, bearing in mind this was during the minute's silence.
5 Minutes later
So I'm here outside Mr. Davidson's office, to cut a long story short he cam over to where i was lay surrounded by chairs, hissed in my ear, I pretended to wipe spit off my face and said "fair enough sir, but you only had to say it, not spray it' he sent me here and…yeah, I'm sat here again. I might make a plaque thing for above this chair "Dave's Seat" I'm here often enough.
10 minutes later
There are 32 ceiling tiles down this corridor…
2 Minutes later
I'd just started Beatboxing Jingle bells the remix when Mr. D arrived.
'Stand up you rude boy!' Jeez, I can't do anything right around here. I stood up and did an army salute. 'Don't be so immature!! And where is Your Shoe?' he shouted.I opened my mouth to explain but he shouted 'Be quiet and come into my office' I feel very hurt by all this shouting, I might sue him, tell the judge I've had to have years of therapy…
20 Seconds later
'Are you even listening to me David?!'
'Sorry Sir, I wasn't listening, what did you say?' That just tipped him over the edge, any hint of humour is forbidden in this god-damned place.
14 Minutes later
Freedom!! Well almost, I've got Drama and that's almost a free period. We've got Miss. Wilson, and she can't even control her tragic hairdo, never mind a class!
1 Minute Later
Drama
I went in and all the lights were off and everyone was sat on the floor silent with there eyes closed, I thought it was like some sort of disease that had turned them into zombies or something and was about to run for my life when Miss Wilson tapped me on the back, I nearly swallowed my chuddy, the Zombie queen had come to get me. She said 'David, we're all practising some meditation, take a seat' and she pointed at the floor. I just looked at her like the sad Divvy she is and said 'You're alright Miss, I'll get a chair'
2 Minutes later
Everyone is taking this so seriously!! They've all got they're eyes closed and are really concentrating. It's making me want to go to sleep just looking at them.
15 Minutes later
I think I dropped off actually. The Bell went and someone turned the lights on.
2 Minutes later
Yeah, I did fall asleep because I've got "Sex-pot" written on my forehead, it's true but I don't think it'll go down well with some of the teachers, for example, oh, I don't know, Mr. D or Mr. Bramhall are just 2 of my big fans.
1 Minute Later
I need to tell the gang about my Dumping last night, they can organise me a bit of a rebound and all will be spiffing again.
30 Seconds later
Where are they all?
Ok please Review, I'll reply to EVERY review I get, promise. Miss Wilson by the way is Gee's Miss. Wilson's sister, I hoped you'd work that out but I put it here just in case lol. Love You All (in a non-Lezzy way) x