One of my friends sent me one of this emails and while I read it with absolutely no intention of passing it on in any form, I found myself thinking of scenarios and hence this Fanfiction was created. Sorry.
SLASH references: Merlin/Arthur
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The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
Merlin sat and stared at the fire. He was tired but trying to stay awake on guard, he wanted to protect his mother, Hunith and Gwen and Morgana. He was the male and the sorcerer, he had the duty and the ability to do so. His head snapped up as he heard something, someone moving in the darkness and the shadows of the wood. Suddenly Arthur is there and being as gruff as usual.
Merlin sits, staring at the fire. Arthur sits next to him. There is so much Merlin wants to say…to confess. Maybe he was going to, the words were on the tip of his tongue, perhaps they would have come out but then Arthur slapped him lightly on the shoulder and told him to go to sleep; that he would stay on watch. Merlin feels the words retreat from his mouth, deep back inside where no one could find them. Where no one could drag them from him. He nodded silently and tried to smile at Arthur before moving away to sleep.
Again he reminds himself that he can never tell him. The gulf between them is just too big. The best he can hope for is staying close to Arthur, protecting him, being there for him. Even if Arthur could never be there for him, not in the way he so desperatly needed. Being close to him would have to be enough. Enough yes, but still a torture. To be so near and yet so far would forever be Merlin's curse.
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