I am so sorry for the wait!!I am busy,lazy and type painfully slowly on the computer. Please forgive me! At least now my summer vacation has started so I will update more often, promise. Also, I have a oneshot up. Please take your time to go to my profile and R&R it:)!

And thank you to Blaqheartedstar for the idea about the naming of Kira.:))

Disclaimer:Nope, I don't own.

Chapter 4:Kira

It was early in the morning and the chill of the night still lingered below the green trees of the park. Down by the lake in the middle the mist still covered everything, making it impossible to look from one side to the other. The park was empty.

Or almost.

"You suck,Ryuuzaki, you know that?" an irritated voice echoed over the newly mowed lawn, breaking the fragile silence.

"I strongly advice Light-kun to stop complaining and enjoy the beautiful morning," L muttered and halted to wait for his boyfriend,who was in the late stages of pregnancy, and couldn't move fast at all. He actually looked more like he waddled than walked, but L didn't think it would be a very good idea to laugh at him. "May I remind you that this was your idea?"

"I know," Light panted and finally caught up with him. "But you don't have to walk so fast. My back and my feet...no, my entire body, just hurt so fucking much. How does women live with this pregnancy-thing?" He stopped too and after seeing how pale he was, L softened and made him sit down on the nearest park-bench.

"I am sorry, Light-kun," the detective said and sat down next to him. "I am not good at waiting for people, but I do not want you to overexert yourself, so I guess I will have to learn."

Light nodded, seeming a little too tired to talk, and absently adjusted his sunhat. He was sensitive to everything now, food, L's sweets, obviously physical exercises,everything dirty and, of some obscure reason, cats. He was so sensible to heat that he had to wear a sunhat even when it was cloudy. Not if it was raining, though, because then he refused to go outside at all- he couldn't stand to get wet. This had worried them both in the beginning but since pregnancy wasn't a normal state for a male it would only be natural with complications, and on their latest health check both Light and the baby(a girl) had been fine.

However, L suspected that Light often exaggerated, and just used his sensitiveness to get everything the way he wanted. It was a little too much "Ryuuzaki, throw away that candy, it makes me feel sick" or "Ryuuzaki,I can't eat cheap food- I'll never keep it!" or "Ryuuzaki, let me rest and bring me some raw mince meat, and clean here. I can't sleep when it look like this."

The only thing he wasn't sensitive to was the weird food he ate, which often was raw and inevitably expensive.

"Only one more month," Light sighed and shut his eyes. "This is wearing me out." L gave him a smile he hoped was encouraging and patted him on his big belly.

"This is wearing me out too," he said affectionately and kissed his boyfriend on his cold cheek. "Also, I am looking froward to the day when I may sleep with you again."

"It's not my fault that my body hurts so much," Light muttered irritably. His mood-swings was also a bad side-effect of the pregnancy. L tried to think of a way to change the subject. It was no fun at all to quarrel with Light these days- he either started to hit you or burst out crying halfway through an angry comment. Besides, you couldn't kick someone that was eight months pregnant.

"So, have you come up with any good suggestions for what we should name our daughter?" L asked quickly, and sighed from relief when Light took the bait.

"I have been thinking," the brown-eyed boy said. "But I don't know..what about Sayu?" L felt a shiver down his spine.

"Light-kun, we are not naming our baby after your sister." He glared at his boyfriend with an even more intense gaze than usual. Any ordinary human would have died if L looked at them like that, but Light was not an ordinary human- he was an ex-massmurderer, a perfect prince charming, a genius and he was pregnant- so he just glared back.

"No..I don't really want that either," he confessed at last and gave up their staring contest. "It was Sayu who wanted that. But how about..Misa?"

"Our daughter shall NEVER wear the name of a prostitute," L objected with an unusual heat. "And before you suggest it, I say no to Yuri and Kiyomi and whatever those other cheap sluts you played pimp with were named. And naming her Saichiko would be child abuse. Give me some decent suggestions, please." L knew that it was stupid of him to get worked up over this, and use words like "pimp" and "slut", but that Light even mentioned Misas name still made him jealous. Light seemed to understand this, because he only smiled complacently.

"If none of my names fit, you come up with something," the copper-eyed demanded and crossed his arms over the pink maternity dress he was wearing. L would of course never say that, but he was so hopelessly lost in love(and so horny) that he thought even maternity clothing in pastel colours made Light look sexy.

"Names?" he repeated absently. He really missed having sex with Light...so soft, so hard..and his screams..

"I'm waiting," the object of his dirty fantasy said and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh.." L looked up and tried to come up with something more than the sensation of wet lips and those perfect with teeth nibbling in his neck. "Well...how about Mella? Or Near..ie? Mattia?"

"That would not be child abuse," Light stated and then started laughing." It would be child murder

!You know, I met your successors once, and that was more than enough."

"Mello-kun disliked you too," L smiled and looked away from Light, because apparently he couldn't rest his eyes on him without thinking of sex. Which was more than a little embarrassing, and a thing he knew he could never tell Light. It would just boost his ego even more, and that was certainly not needed.

"I didn't mean to piss him off," Light defended himself. "His hair does look like a wig. Besides, I think he was jealous because he knew I had slept with his great idol." L sighed and tried to focus on what Light was saying. He was the greatest detective in the world, it was ridiculous that he let one person affect him so much. Love and desire evidently reduced his brain capacity with at least 32.

And, he couldn't deny it, it was worth it.

"Mello-kun tends too be possessive of everyone," L said honestly. "With Matt he says "My toy", with me he declares "My idol" and even with Near he says "My enemy". You should not take it personally."

"I don't" Light ensured him. "But I still didn't like any of them. And you still haven't come up with any decent suggestions." L thought for a moment.

"What do you think about Naomi?" he wondered at last. Light yawned and leant towards L, with his head on the detectives shoulder. The colour had returned to his cheeks, but he was still drowsy.

"I think," he murmured and shut his eyes. "That your imagination sucks." And suddenly, L just knew what they should name their child.

"Kira!" he said loudly and couldn't hide a triumphant smile. "It will be perfect if we name her Kira. Kira Yagami." Light, on the other hand, didn't seem all too pleased. He sat up and his sleepiness had abruptly disappeared.

"No way in hell!" he objected and slapped L right in his face. The detective started, more out of surprise than of pain. "We will so not name our daughter after a crazy massmurderer! It would be wrong. How do you think everyone would react? What would they think? The other kids would pick on her, and.."

"Light-kun," L cut in. "Calm down. If anyone dared pick at our child, I am positive that you could bitchslap them to death. As for what people would think...I could not care less." He made a brief pause and looked right at Light, black eyes meeting copper ones. "To name her Kira would be fair. And you know I believe in justice." Light immediately looked away, the brown hair hid his eyes, his cheeks were painted with a faint blush and his delicate hands uncomfortably played with the hem on his maternity dress.

He didn't have any memories of being Kira, but L knew that he was smart enough to still suspect himself, and it always made Light very nervous to dig deeper into the subject. Therefore, they usually didn't talk about it( L didn't like to be reminded of that little detail either).

But now, L felt that there was an inescapable justice in naming their daughter like that because neither of them deserved to completely ignore their past sins.

Plus he kind of liked the name.

"I can see him, dad!" Kira shouted and tugged the sleeve of L's sweater.

They were on the railway station, waiting for Watari. It was a boring, rainy day and people around them either looked irritated, stressed or unhappy. But upon hearing the little girl shout so happily, some actually smiled a bit at her.

L got closer to Kira, but without touching her, and turned his disturbing glare to the passers-by. He disliked when other adults looked at his daughter- who knew what they could be after. Since he wasn't used to going outside, he felt very uncomfortable in such a crowded place, and Kira, that hadn't been around many others than her father since Light's death, felt it too. L had both makeup covering the bags under his eyes and a hooded jacket to hide his hair but that didn't seem to make him any calmer at all.

"Silence yourself," the detective told his daughter. "There are humans looking at us."

"Sorry," Kira muttered and pulled away from him. As she did, she discovered Watari not far away from them.

"Grandpa!" Kira shouted, completely ignoring her father, and ran towards him. L followed hesitatingly when the girl reached the old man and hugged him. The relationship between Kira and Watari had always been very warm. They had always acted as if they were family, and Kira usually referred to Watari as "Grandpa". This had bothered L because it was incorrect- Watari was not his father after all, he had never had parents- but Light had encouraged it because it was "So adorable".

Which in itself was rather scary, adorable was not a word that sounded natural in Light Yagami's mouth. To have a baby really did change the ex-massmurderer.

"Ryuuzaki?" Watari's familiar voice made him abandon those thoughts. "Is everything alright?"

"Welcome," L said instead of answering. Then he turned his back at the two while gnawing almost frenetically on his thumb. "Let us go...to the place we live in." He couldn't say home.

Light wasn't there.

Light-kun, you are like a disease to me, you infest my thoughts, you make me weak. I seem incapable of escaping you. And not even your death could cure me. It is pathetic.

Kira couldn't remember the last time she had been so happy. Or maybe she could, but she didn't like to think about it. She didn't really want to know.

Grandpa Watari was not like father L at all- he could smile at her, talk to her and he even took her down to the park for ice-cream.

"I have work to do," father L said when the old man asked if he wanted to join them, and disappeared into the living room.

"Let us go by ourselves then," Watari smiled at L's daughter and took her hand. Kira's amber eyes were huge.

"Where are we going?" she asked both eagerly and nervously.

"To the park that's right beneath your kitchen window, maybe?" Watari suggested. "Haven't you been there before?"

Kira shook her head.

"Up until today," she explained matter-of-factly, "I have not been outside of this apartment since we got here. Father says he is going to home school me, but he is always busy, so I have nothing to do. But I don't want to sneak out because he will just hate me more." This made the old man frown deeply.

"Why won't he let you go out?" he wondered sharply, his eyes darkened with anger. He didn't scare the girl because she understood that he wasn't mad at her.

"Father says that the outside is too cruel for me to face alone. And he doesn't have time to go with me." She looked down on the red gym shoes father Light had bought to her for what seemed ages ago, when things were a lot less complicated and she hadn't lost both her parents.

"Well, now I can go with you," Watari said and adjusted his glasses. He gently pulled her with him out of the apartment and down the stairs, to the park that almost seemed to be glowing with green in the rain. Kira was excited, happy, somewhat sad and scared at the same time when she felt the soft drops of water hit her face- how she loved that rain, like floating, falling freedom- and she convinced Watari to keep his umbrella for himself and let the rain reach her.

Maybe not the ideal day for ice-cream, but she wanted one anyway. She chose a strawberry ice-cream as she used to (Father L had called it the "Strawberry-gene" and said that it made him proud). Once, he really must have liked her. But not anymore,she thought with the entire conviction and bitterness of a five-year-old.

As she ate, she lifted her head and tried to calculate which window in the closest apartment building was their kitchen window. At last, she found it. It had no curtains but it was still hard to look in because of the weather.

Then, she saw a movement, and for a short dreamlike moment, she thought she could see L standing in his usual posture in their kitchen. He had the same uncontrollable raven hair as she had and his dead black eyes looked down on her through the glass, a pale spider-like hand was pressed against the window as if he wanted to grasp her small trembling hands.

But she blinked, and he was gone.

"What are you planning to do with her when she gets older? You can't just lock her up forever!"

"She has home school with me as a teacher. She will be fine."

"Kira needs other children and adults. You are not protecting her by doing this."

"I know that..I just..I do not trust the people in this world to leave her alone. And I will go with her when I get time."

"According to her, you never have time for her! Not to teach her anything either. Certainly not to follow her outside. You can not protect her by locking her up, you will just make her even more vulnerable, and helpless."

"I suppose you are right. But even if I take my time to be with her, I am afraid I can not behave normally around her. I know we have already discussed this, I know that I should take myself together. It is just really hard to do it. I seem to be sounding irritated as soon as I talk to her. I want to tell her I am not angry...but what if I am?"

"You are her father. If you are angry, or sad, should not matter. If you truly love her as a parent should- above everything else- then you should overcome your emotions and show her that."

"..."

"Ryuuzaki?"

"The problem is..I am not sure that I love her...above everyone else."

Kira heard their voices faint as they left the living room. She wondered if they really believed that she would sleep all the way through their argument.

The night was threatening and cold, she pulled her blanket over her face to protect herself from whatever there was out to harm her.

She could soon hear father L come back into the room and start his usual typing on the computer. Before she finally drifted off into sleep, she even thought she could her him sob.

And then she knew what to do.

When Watari woke up, he was alone in the living room. Both Kira's mattress and L's armchair were empty. The clouds from yesterday had completely vanished during the night and it was a bright sunny day again. The old man got up from the sofa and wished that he was younger when he felt his back ache. To most people, he seemed very energetic and vivid for his age but some days he couldn't help but feel tired, almost weary.

Right now, it was because of L. He didn't know how to help him, and even worse, he wasn't really sure how to help Kira either. Clearly just being there didn't do much, even if it was a beginning.

As the great inventor and thinker he was, Watari did not like feeling helpless. But as for now, he would just have to deal with it.

"Good morning, Ryuuzaki," he said as he entered the kitchen and saw L on a kitchen chair, typing furiously on his computer. "Where is you daughter?" Without looking up, L took a sip from his teacup and made a pause in his typing.

"I do not know," he answered and sounded like he didn't care either."I have been seated here since a quarter past three this night. I moved because your snoring made it hard to concentrate." Upon hearing this, Watari was slightly alarmed, and left the kitchen without another word. Where could she be?

Then he realized how stupid it was to worry. She was probably only using the bathroom.

She wasn't. She was nowhere in the small apartment or the stairs. He looked out over the park but he couldn't spot her. It wasn't until he went back to the living room to check her mattress again- like he could have missed her- that he found the note. It was an ordinary paper taken from a notebook, and he recognized Kira's childish handwriting.

It said: Dear father L

I know I am a burden for you and I can't stand it. I love you.

I decided to run away. Don't worry, I have a safe place to go to.

Please, don't come and look for me.

Kira

Under those lines there was a message to Watari himself.

Dear Grandpa

I love you. I am sorry. Thanks for the ice-cream.

Kira

For the first time in an unknown number of years, Watari wanted to cry.

Yeah,finally finished:)!Please review, I need suggestions for what should happen in the flashbacks now and I really want to hear what you think. Thanks for reading!