Finally, here is the next chapter! I had some trouble with the internet, that's why this took so long(you know how computers are. Can't live with them, can't live without themXDD).

It's only two or three chapters to go, I think :)!

For the flashback in this chapter, I want to thank Mysterious Penname, Mirage 88 and EmiJade-3-13. Your ideas were great:D!

Also, those whose reviews I haven't answered because I was on vacation: A big thank you! And to Mediate 89 who pointed out my mistake, thank you too, I'll change it:)!

Disclaimer:I don't own Dn, I'm just pathetically obsessed with it.

Chapter 6: My obsession

"There." Matt gave Kira a folded piece of paper with his number on it. "Now take care of yourself."

She nodded, not really knowing what to say. She wasn't really used to talking to people, after all, and the good manners father Light had taught her wasn't always easy to remember. The other people on the train station paid no attention to the little girl or the teenage boy, but they still made her nervous.

"If you call, I'll be there," Matt promised and smiled.

"Yes..great..thank you," Kira said and tried to smile back, but couldn't really manage. "Good bye."

"Yeah...bye..." For a moment she thought that Matt was actually going to hug her, but he didn't and she felt stupid when she got disappointed. If her own father couldn't touch her, then why would a stranger like to hug her? She blushed and turned around so he shouldn't see how embarrassed she got.

But once she sat on the train, she looked at him through the window until the last glimpse of red, white and black was gone. And as soon as he passed out of her sight, she missed him.

The first thought that had appeared in L's mind when he finally managed to focus was "Wammy's house". He knew that Watari had told Kira where it was located, and that his daughter badly had wanted to go there.

Sure, most children that ran away wouldn't plan far ahead but just try to get as far away as possible, but Kira wasn't "most children". After all, she was the daughter of two great geniuses. It was to be expected that she would choose a special place to go to.

So L and Watari took the car, since a plane had nowhere to land near the orphanage and L preferred not to use public transports. Only, halfway to Winchester the car broke down, and they had to wait for hours for a new one. L wished they could have just hijacked one of the vehicles that drove past them because as the three top detectives of the world you shouldn't have to wait for anything , but they had some technical issues and waiting was the only possible thing to do.

Watari didn't speak at all during the trip and they didn't reach Wammy's house until late afternoon. There they spoke to Roger, who promised to help searching for her the next day when the orphans were outside.

Little did they know that Kira in that moment slept in a room not far away from Rogers office.

It was a terrible night for L. He rarely slept, but this night he couldn't even get himself together enough to work.

Only staring blankly at the computer screen and feeling something unknown that he later diagnosed as shame.

Now, she was a quarter before nine and without L's knowledge, Kira had just said goodbye to Matt in the village. With a deep sigh, Watari turned to the detective.

"Sooner or later, we will find Kira," he said with certainty. "It is terrible to not know where she is, and to imagine the awful things that could happen to her, but that is not the root of the problem."

L continued staring at his empty computer screen.

"Then what do you suggest is the root of the problem?" he wondered when he at last seemed to hear the question.

"The reason Kira ran away, of course," Watari replied, his voice was sharp in a way that even made L scared. "Even if we get her back, it will be for nothing if we are not certain that she will stay this time."

"And the reason she ran away is me?" L cut in, sounding as emotionless as ever. But still, something about his tone was different. He usually spoke with such a confidence, now his words sounded strangely hollow.

"Yes." Watari met his intense glare without faltering. "You must get yourself together, Lawliet. I know I have said this many times before, but I will keep repeating myself until you listen: you are the parent. Take your responsibility." It took some time for L to find his voice, and when he did, he sounded terribly tired.

"I did not handle the loss of Light-kun very well," he admitted quietly."That is the root of the problem. I can not take care of Kira if I barely can keep myself going...I..." Watari stayed quiet, understanding that he must allow L to take his time, now when he finally dared looking into the real source of all this pain.

"I believed I was a stronger person," L continued, his gaze father away than ever. "I guess I was... until I let someone to close, and started to feel. Human emotion is the biggest cause of weakness and pain. I figured that if I kept my distance to people, I could live without it. And along came Light-kun." He took a strawberry caramel from the table and started toying with it, seemingly unaware of what he was doing.

" I had never truly loved anyone before Light-kun. He was the one who made my heart soft like an... overripe strawberry, and I gladly let him. All this affection I did not display for twenty-five years, all this love I did not use, I gave to Light-kun. For all my life, I had kept my distance, and now I could not get close enough... I think you can say I got obsessed with him, even." Without noticing, he dropped the caramel. His pale, spider-like hand was shaking slightly.

His eyes were dry, but so filled with pain it hurt Watari just to look into them.

"That is why I cannot let him go," he said. It wasn't louder than a whisper but the old man could hear it all too clearly. "Light-kun was my first love. My first kiss. My first lover." His tone was calm, like he was just speaking of the weather, but beneath that calmness were depths of pain that went so low you could never see the bottom. "My first friend."

"I understand," Watari said and was surprised to find he really did.

"We will search for Kira." L abruptly got on his feet, the best word to describe his voice would have been destroyed. His eyes were hidden under his dark hair, and Watari was thankful he couldn't see them.

As they started searching the rooms for his daughters, L got trapped by one of his eternal memories

again. It started with the picture of a baby in one room, and even as he left the room he couldn't get it out of his mind. It made him think of Kira as a baby, her birth and the time after they got home from the hospital...

"Ryuuzaki!" Light whined. He was seated in their bed, with two pillows behind his back and a thick novel in his hand. "Kira is crying again. Go get her for me."

L had to fight back an angry reply. Since their coming home, the baby had been either crying or screaming almost constantly, and Light had been in bed, complaining about his pains and ordering L around. The detective couldn't even get seated in front of his computer before his lover was in desperate need of something, and it was honestly starting to bug the hell out of him.

Without saying a word, L left their bedroom and headed for the baby's room. Kira- this wonderful little miracle- was working her way up from loud crying to deafening screaming, and the detective clenched his teeth. "It is my daughter and I love her," he reminded himself.

"The baby, Ryuuzaki!" Light shouted from the bedroom. "Bring her to me now!"

"And Light-kun is my boyfriend and I love him," L said out loud. Another thing that was irritating about Light was that he couldn't stop worrying about their daughter. Must be his maternal instincts.

He had even wanted Kira to sleep in their bedroom, but L had protested, or he wouldn't get any peace at all. As soon as she was out of his sight, Light could suddenly imagine that she was in danger, and L had to go and get her. He could sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and crying, and convinced that Kira was dead( It could go something like this: "Oh my god, Ryuuzaki, I can't hear her breathing!" and then L would say: "She is in another room, Light-kun. It is only natural that it is not audible through the wall.",and Light would become hysteric and cry: "No, you don't get it! I can't hear her, I can't, and death is silence, and that's why I don't... why I can't..." and L would have to go and get her to calm him down.)

Sure, the detective felt sorry for the ex-massmurderer, who was so afraid of the death he'd once handed out so easily, but it didn't stop him from feeling annoyed too.

"I'm coming, Light-kun," he sighed and took up his daughter, who screamed even louder and tried to get out of his grip like a little wild animal who's never seen a human before. "Be still now, you little beast."

He took her to her "mother" and Light brightened up as soon as he saw her. He had now placed his book beside him (on L's pillow) and reached for his daughter with glimmering eyes.

"Hi, mommy's little angel," he purred and hugged her tenderly. "Why are we screaming today?" As he turned to L, he kept his voice soft, but it was obvious he was giving orders. "Honey, go get a bottle of milk please."

When L left the room, the baby fell silent. The detective tried not to feel hurt because of that, but failed miserably.

He warmed some milk from a donating mother who had lost her newborn, because Light's body was not able to supply Kira with that.

When he went back into the room where his family was, he was thankful that the baby didn't start screaming again. No, she was too busy listening to Light singing for her to even notice when L walked in. Yes, Light did sing. Even a pride of his caliber could vanish before the small wonder.

Kira giggled softly at her mother's singing, and Light looked as happy as when he first saw her. They really were cute together.

Of some reason, L suddenly felt like an intruder in his own home.

"My prettiest little pearl, my dearest little diamond," Light sang quietly for the baby. The first time Light said things like that, L had been terrified, but now he was getting used to it.

"You are going to turn her into such a sweet-talker, Light-kun," l pointed out when he handed him the bottle. "When she has finished that, may I hold her?"

"I don't know..." Light said absently as he fed her. "You may drop her."

"She is my daughter too, if you by any chance have forgotten that," L said a little sharper than intended. Light looked at him curiously.

"Are you angry for some reason?" he wondered and ignored that his daughter was spilling milk all over him.

"Well..." the detective said carefully, not wanting to upset his lover more than necessary. With the baby in his arms, kicking Light-kun was sadly still not an option. "The little creature known as our daughter did disturb my two hours of sleep last night. And Light-kun sure does like pushing me around, making me do all the housework, and keeping the socializing with our child all to himself. So, if I am angry, I have plenty of reasons!" To even raise his voice? L realized that with about 90,8 percent certainty, he really was mad.

"For the first, don't call our daughter a creature!" Light complained and covered Kira's little ears with his manicured hands. "And I don't... I mean, secondly, I don't push you around. I feel bad, okay? It isn't a natural process my body's been going through and... stop giving me that angry-dead- zombie look, after living with you for so long, it doesn't scare me... and it never did from the beginning anyway...now, where was I?" He took a break and sat Kira on his lap to rock her. "Yeah, and for the third, I don't keep her to myself. You got to carry her here, right? Besides, she always screams when you carry her."

"Maybe she cannot start to like me if she does not get a chance to get used to me," L suggested tiredly. "I just want to hold my own baby, is that not comprehensible?"

Light sighed and looked hurt when he handed the baby over to L. Very carefully, he took her. She weighed practically nothing, and when she grabbed one of his fingers tightly with her little hand and even stayed calm, the detective couldn't help it. He smiled.

"Let us not quarrel anymore, Light-kun," he mumbled, charmed by the warmth and life of the child in his arms."Your bitching is not the safest environment for a baby to be raised in, do you not agree?"

"Just because you are so cute right now, I'll let that one pass," the brown-haired boy said softly and kissed his lover on the forehead. Then he bent down and placed a kiss on his daughters cheek.

"How extremely generous of you," L considered. He sat on the bed until Kira had fallen asleep in his arms.

"Look, how sweet she is!" Light squealed and hugged L, carefully so that their baby shouldn't wake up. "Can't you just see it before you, how happy we are going to be? Can't you see Kira taking her first steps...speaking her first words? Meet her first friends, grow up, go to school, get a boyfriend and tell us her first lie?"

L didn't comment on the lie-part, but he couldn't stay entirely quiet.

"School?" he repeated."Our child is not going to school. That is a waste of time."

"What?" Light glared at him."If she's not going to school, how will she succeed in life?" L just stared at him blankly.

"I never went to school," he reminded Light. "Is Light-kun implying that my life has been unsuccessful?"

"But there is so many things a child must learn in school," Light stated and looked L straight in the eye.

"I do not think so," the detective objected. "The only thing school teaches children is to lose their individuality, their creativity and their ability to deduce things on their own." Light smirked.

"How can you know that if you never went to school yourself?" he asked scornfully.

" I think it is easily determined based on the fact that the level of our education is rising while people only get dumber for every generation," L uttered dryly.

"You're just saying that because you never got a proper education." Light crossed his arms. "It is her best possibility to meet other people too. If she gets raised like you, she will become an anti-social freak just like you are. Do you want that?"

"But if she goes to school like you did, you will expect her to be as popular and successful and charming as you, will you not?" L gave back. "And that will be too much pressure for one child. I do not get how you made it, Light-kun."

"I won't expect her to be like me!" Light protested. "And besides, if we don't let her be with other kids she won't learn the necessary unwritten rules she'll need to interact with others, and she won't be accepted in society. It's for her best."

L looked down at the small sleeping girl in his arms.

"With us as parents, she could become someone great," he said confidently. "She could really achieve something. Do you want to decrease her possibilities by making her play by some foolish rules invented by cowards?"

"I don't care if she achieves anything!" Light said sharply to his lover's big surprise. "The only thing I want is for her to be happy, and like it or not, no one can be happy if they're alone!"

Thinking that he couldn't blame hormones anymore, L was more than a little shocked over Light's emotional outburst. Then again, males shouldn't be pregnant. Perhaps it had given him some sort of brain damage.

"Or were you glad when you were lonely and simply watched life through computer screens instead of living it?" the teen continued cruelly.

"If Light-kun has to know, himself and this small infant are the sole sources of happiness in my life, "L said quietly. "So I would appreciate it if both of you stopped pestering me."

Light's face went from serious to cheerful.

"Only you could say that sort of things and still look completely bored," he smiled and kissed L briefly. "Call me an idiot, but it just makes me love you more."

After I met you, Light-kun, I finally learned the difference between being alive and living.

This memory flashed before L's eyes for just a few moments. Even if it wasn't his happiest memory- the argument about Kira's future would go on for several years and turn kind of bitter- it still made him sad. Because in some way, it really made him want to quarrel with Light again, to have discussions that would go on for hours and even feel a little anger. Anything was better than this constant sadness, because it was really wearing him out.

He left Watari and Roger to continue searching the ground floor and walked up the stairs. The corridor on the second floor was empty and dark, and so were the first four rooms he went through.

But the resident of the fifth room hardly ever went out, so L wasn't surprised to find him in there.

"Good day, Matt," he said and stayed in the doorway. The goggled boy actually bothered to look up from what he was doing, which for once wasn't playing a game. It appeared to be some kind of homework, an almost fully written paper.

"Hi, L," the redhead greeted with a smile. "What brings you here? We haven't seen you for years." He placed a school book over the paper as if he wanted to hide it. "Does Mello know that you are here? He will be so happy!"

"I do not have time for smalltalk,"the detective interrupted. "I apologize, but I am here for a serious reason."

"Oh..." Matt was quiet for a second. "What have I done? Cause whatever it is, I blame Mello."

"You have not done anything. I am searching all the rooms, that is all. Since you do not leave here often, maybe you could just answer my question. Have you seen a little girl, about this high" -L held his hand a few feet above the floor-" with black hair, probably wearing a blue jacket?"

It took Matt so long to answer, L didn't know what to think. The redheaded boy opened his window and lit a cigarette before turning to the detective again.

"Why do you ask?" he wondered and L didn't need to see his eyes behind the goggles to know what this meant.

"You have...seen her?" he asked and even though he tried, he couldn't keep his voice entirely steady.

Matt nodded after a moment of hesitation.

"Where is she?" L was not even trying to sound calm this time, and the third best at Wammy's house looked slightly shocked.

"She took the train to Weymouth at nine o'clock," he answered at last and threw his cigarette out the window. "Why are you after her? Who is she?"

L just wanted to leave the room without answering, but realized he better come up with an explanation before Matt had too much time to think on his own. After all, if the Wammy-children knew that L had a daughter, they would not be too happy since they would think she'd have a greater chance than any of them of becoming his successor.

"The daughter of a very powerful businessman. She was placed under my protection after her father was murdered, and then she ran away," L lied without a second thought and left the room before Matt would get a chance to ask anything else.

He met Watari in the stairs. The old man hurried the last steps when he saw the look on L's face.

"Do you know anything about her?" he wondered, both excited and worried.

"Call the closest police station and alert them," L ordered. "I am taking Roger's car. Also, call the railway company and find out the current location of the train headed for Weymouth who left the station of Winchester at nine o'clock this morning. Send the police in that direction, and whatever it takes, stop that train."

I know, it's a looong flashback, and a lot of talking:)!I hope you liked it anyway...Oh,and I don't know that much about Winchester...I keep calling it a village...maybe that's totally wrong? If it is, please forgive me!

So what do you think Matt had written and was hiding?

I don't know myself, I just thought it would be an interesting plot twist if he wasn't playing games for once!! ...No, seriously, I think it was a love letter to Mello:)!

Thank you so much for reading, please review!