Ch3

It was inevitable, Bella knew that. She stepped out of her coven's black car and forced herself to stare straight ahead, and walk confidently. Nothing could ever tear her down. Yeah right. Her dark brown wavy hair fell over her left eye. The image other people saw: pale face, beauty that can't be described, something in the soul that is always invisible, pain that seared through dark golden eyes, slim vulnerable-looking body masking a monster that tackles mountain lions every other day. Invulnerable body, invisible. Super strength, invisible. Everything was crashing down around her. Her soul, her heart, was torn into shreds, and it was not invulnerable. But nobody had to know that. The image other people saw: loner, Goth, chick who writes Love on her arms. The truth: broken heart, hope is dying, hope is still alive, not able to believe.

Bella Swan walked into the main office of Forks high school. Images of the last time she was a student here invaded her head. 'Be strong,' she told herself. "Hello," she heard herself saying to the lady in the office. "I'm Bella Swan, the new student."

"Oh. Here's your schedule, Miss Swan," the office lady said. Bella reached out and touched the piece of paper. Tiny black lines that determined her fate.

"Thank you," she heard herself saying. She walked away. She refused to look down. The image other people saw: new student, beautiful, let's go welcome her. The truth: cold, hard, don't go near me, I'm not who you think I am.

Then she saw her coven walk into the office after her, one by one. Kelsey, Harold, Jedson, Ileana. The image people saw: a family. The truth: well, a family.

Then she saw her. Short, spiky black hair. Pale skin. Sad eyes. What a haunted smile. For a second Bella thought she saw her; she thought she saw her turn her head. She must have seen it, right? Alice Cullen could see the future. Did she know that Bella was back in Forks? That she was still alive? Every bone in Bella's body wanted to run towards Alice and hug her; just accept the Cullens back in her life like nothing happened, but something…her broken heart…wouldn't let her do that.

So Bella simply walked forward, without looking back. First class: English Literature. Pretty easy, considering she had three masters degrees in English Literature. What was the point, though? She had already published two novels under a pen name. What was the point of anything? Love must not even be real, if it can disappear so quickly. If it can fade. If it can just not matter.

It was too much. Two hundred years without the love of her life, and now she had a chance. What was she thinking? Inside her head she was screaming. Bella turned around. Was she imagining things, or was Alice Cullen in her English class. Bella shook her head and turned to face the blackboard. She growled, at a decibel level that no human being could hear. Life sucks. Un-life sucks even more.

This isn't living. He was right, this isn't living. Being frozen in time, watching everyone else grow up, live life, and die, ISN'T living. This isn't living, when you're alone. If you're not alone, then, maybe it might have some meaning.

The bell rings. Class is over. Bella sees a hyper Alice run towards Bella.

"You're alive!" Alice squealed.

"Technically, I'm not," Bella pointed out.

"Do you still love…"

Bella interrupted her, not wanting to hear his name, "It doesn't matter; he doesn't love me."

"What?! Yes he does! He only left to protect you, Bella. He was a zombie, Bella; he wouldn't even hunt. He stayed in his room all the time with the window shades down," Alice said.

"Well, he was the one who chose to leave," Bella said stubbornly.

"Because he loved you, that's why he left," Alice insisted.

"Yeah, loved, as in PAST TENSE!" Bella screamed.

"Not past tense," she heard a soft velvet voice walk up from behind her. Bella turned around. "Ed…Edward?"

"Forever," Edward whispered.

And Bella couldn't help it. Her heart melted. She had no choice but to take him back.

"You destroyed me when I left. You broke my heart," Bella whispered.

"I'm sorry," Edward said.

"Sorry isn't always enough," Bella whispered. But she leaned in and kissed him anyways. Two hundred years was just too long. Edward kissed her back. A kiss like that, just doesn't lie.

"I forgive you," Bella whispered.

"Wait, how are your eyes blue?" Alice asked later that day. I stared at the tile floor in the hallway. They knew, then. Did they? Did they know that I wasn't vegetarian? 'Yet,' I thought to myself. 'Yet.'

"Contacts, silly," I said, but my voice betrayed me. I was wearing contacts, but I did not hide golden eyes beneath the pale sky blue color my irises now shone.

That had to change. Now. And I was going to convince my coven to change, too. I was sure that they could do it. I love Edward too much to betray him like this, to be the one thing he tried so hard to prevent me from becoming, a monster. And even though I only drank from human monsters – rapists, murderers, pedophiles – I was no superhero; it was still wrong.

I had to find a way to be me again, for Edward.

"Oh. That makes sense," Alice said in that perky voice of hers, completely oblivious to the daunting color that hid beneath the contacts. No, that couldn't be true. Alice could see the future.

"What did you see, Alice?" I ask, my voice strained.

"What do you mean?" Alice asks innocently, like she hadn't seen anything. Maybe she hadn't. Or maybe she was just silently playing along, trying to guilt trip me into changing. None of that mattered, I was changing anyways. Right here, right now, for Edward. I realized that I still love him. I am furious at him, and my insides shake with this horrible fear that he will leave me again, but I am tired of the monster that is roaring inside of me.

"I won't be wearing contacts for long," I whispered, but I knew that Alice could hear me. No human could, but Alice was a vampire.

Alice smiled.

"Now go and convince the others," she said, grinning. "But don't worry, it will work out. They'll agree."

I smiled, too. It was a haunted smile, but still, it was a smile. The demons of my past were haunting me, but I was slowly letting go. I was releasing my grip on death and preparing for a wonderful future. Hopefully it would be with Edward.

After school, I ran out to the forest and smiled. I listened to my instincts, and thought about how much Emmett loved Grizzly Bears. How much Edward loved Mountain Lions. It couldn't be that bad. I was already in control of myself – I never have fed as often as I should have because, well, I guess Edward's masochistic nature rubbed off on me. One thing about Edward that I could never truly cleanse myself of, I guess.

I ran, loving the feeling of the wind tugging at the back of my dark, wavy hair. I pounced on the first animal I saw, breaking its neck and sucking it dry. It had fought back, but it had nothing compared to me. It was an easy battle, and I came out unscathed.

Later that day, I convinced my coven to try vegetarianism. They told me they would try.

I called Alice, and she told me that she had a vision that proved that they would succeed. I grinned. There was Edward's crooked grin again. Always sneaking up on me. Ghosts of the Edward and Bella of the past creeping up on me, somehow finding their way inside my veins. It would be way too hard to ignore Edward. That kiss in the hallway today proved it. I love him too much, and while I'm not decided yet, I don't want to be too stubborn, because as much as I hate Edward, I love him, I love him oh so much, oh…I can't deny it…and I just don't want to hurt him.

To Be Continued…

(A/N: sorry for bringing them back together so quickly; I just think in all those other stories where Bella sees Edward again 100 some years later, she wouldn't be able to stay angry at him, because true love just grows stronger, not weaker, over time.)