Well, this is the last day I have to write a journal entry. It's been an interesting 31 days. I have written far more stuff in here than I ever thought I was going to, but it's been a real relief to tell somebody (even if it's just a computer or nameless shrinks sitting in a government office) everything that's on my mind.

I don't think I'm crazy – at least not any crazier than most everybody else. I'm sure that I've said some crazy things. Then again, everybody has crazy thoughts – or at least everybody I know, except maybe Captain Awesome. A little crazy is good for the soul, or so Morgan tells me.

I know my life isn't perfect and it never will be. Yes, things have gotten a lot more complicated in the last 15 months, but I wouldn't change a thing. I've found a wonderful woman that I hope to spend my life with. But even if that doesn't work out, I have confidence that I could find someone half as good, who would still be a crown jewel among people.

Working on all these odd missions and under such extreme circumstances has proven to me that I can do lots of things I didn't realize I could do. I can save people from death; I can face death (while screaming like a girl, but I can do it); I can face life. It's a very powerful position – so much better than where I was before I got the intersect.

I may not know where I'll be in five years. But, realistically, nobody knows where they're going to be tomorrow, let alone in five years. Tragic and wonderful things happen all the time. All that any of us can do is make the best of what life hands us.

For so long – too long – I cursed my life because of a small set of circumstances and actions that got me kicked out of school. I stopped living. That was stupid. Now that I see how those events partially fit into a larger pattern, I know that it wasn't my fault, but I wasted far too much time thinking it was, without trying to move forward.

I'm moving forward now. Yes, sometimes it seems like every time I take a step forward, events conspire to show me something horrifying or return an unpleasant memory and drive me two steps backwards. But life or fate or whatever you want to call it is not going to stop sending things my way simply because I wish it or because I am not moving forward. If I stop striving, then life will just push me around wherever it wants.

I'm going to keep trying. I'm going to try to get Sarah to see me as a real boyfriend. I'm going to try to find a way to handle all the implications of having the intersect in my head. I will find a way to make the most of every situation. Everything's coming up Bartowski. Or, if it's not, it's going to be close enough.

So, thanks for listening and reading, faceless shrinks out there. Thanks for being a place for me to work through things in written form and to have somebody listening. I just ask that you not judge me or those around me too harshly. I know I don't see everybody as they are, including myself, so don't read too much into my words. I just know that, with time and patience, everything will work out.

A/N: There it is – 31 entries in 31 days. What do you think of the exercise as a whole? Best/worst characterization or days? BTW, psych evaluation will be several days before posting.