Me: People are SO going to flame me for this chapter…
Matsuda: Why is that?
Me: It…kind of showcases L's special talent…
Matsuda: What talent-
Me: Oh yeah! I totally -L-ed my cell phone.
Matsuda: How do you -L- a phone?
Me: Pictures. Wallpaper. Start-up screen picture. Cell phone charms. Durrr.
Matsuda: You retard. Are you a fan girl?
Me: No. I just like L plastered all over my phone.
Matsuda: Oh.
Me: Is that bad?
Matsuda: *shakes head*
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As L grudgingly walked stepped inside the store, he heard Light suck in his breath. L raised his head and stared at him.
"Light, why do you seem so surprised?" He asked. Light just looked in awe at the store.
"Its huge!" Light proclaimed. L began to look around. His mouth dropped open for the second time that day.
The store was- for lack of a better word- huge. Neon Ls made up the walls. Racks and racks of clothing. And most of all-
"People." L groaned, not caring who heard him at this point.
People- teens, adults, even some kids- were everywhere, browsing the merchandise, trying on clothing, putting on makeup at the huge makeup counter. There was even a bar that ran the length of one of the walls. Naturally, it was packed.
"This isn't a store. It's a warehouse." Light looked down at L, who was biting his thumb nervously. He then turned around and tried to make his way out of the store without Light noticing-
"Dammit, L, get back here," Light rolled his eyes as he grabbed Ls collar. L whimpered slightly and cursed Misa for her model looks and never-ending charisma. How else could she have gotten all these people here?
"L, you dragged us over here in the first place. Now stand up and face it like a man."
L sighed deeply and shuffled his feet- and then gasped. In all the craziness in the past few hours, he had completely forgotten that he couldn't be seen by people without some form of cover-up. He stared down at his bare feet in shock. Then his pants. Then his shirt. Light stared at him all the way, thinking he had lost his mind.
"Urhm…L?"
"Light…we need disguises. Now." L mumbled. Light quickly grabbed Ls arm, looking for some form of temporary cover-up. Then he saw it. There was a strange heavenly light, and even angels singing, as he and L dashed into one of the change rooms. Light grabbed an entire rack of clothes and tossed it over to L. A few minutes later, L came out, wearing…
"Light…I hate you…."
Light burst out laughing as L came out, wearing a L brand-name skirt, L brand name ankle warmers, ballet flats, and a cute white top with a black bow on the side and a panda emblazoned across the front. Upon receiving L's glare of death, Light simply waved his hands out in front of him.
"Those were the only things I could find, I swear!" He giggled like a moron in his defense. L fumed- everyone was out to get him today. The only good thing was that he was someone who actually managed to crossdress without certain problems, like-
"Nice legs you got there!" Yelled one of the employees in Ls direction. One of the male employees.
"Yeah, when do they open?" The first employee gave his friend a high five, and they both started to laugh their asses off.
Until, of course, they saw Light.
"Damn, man! She's got a really buff boyfriend, man!"
"Oh my god! Run, man, run!"
L stared, scarred for life. "W-what kind of idiots-"
"-did she hire?" Light completed. He looked sympathetically at L, who was shaking. Light sighed and smiled.
"Well, at least they thought you were really a girl. Here, put this on." Light tossed L a small, sparkly object. L stared at it, and then glared at Light.
"Don't push it." He replied snarkily.
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A few moments later, though, L gave in and placed the little star barrette in his hair, hoping it would improve his performance. Light secretly laughed from time to time, but L didn't notice. He was too busy scanning the store for Japan's most wanted female criminal…
"Hey, does Misa Amane work here?" L asked a clerk at the bar in his best girly voice. The teenager turned around with DJ style headphones in his ears and a pocky stick in his mouth.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" Then he saw Light. He removed the headphones and the pocky, sat up straight, got out a pocket comb and brushed his hair, and then turned to face Light, blushing.
"What do you need, sir?" The clerk sneaked an evil, side look over to L, who drew back a bit. Scary people working in the scary store, L thought. Shopping trip from hell.
"Not much, I just need to see if Misa Amane works here." Light asked.
"Misa? Naw, she's the manager of the whole chain." The clerk replied. " If you have a question or complaint to make, you should talk to the manager. But first, why don't you and your lovely girlfriend explore the store?"
Light stared at L, who shook his head wildly. "I don't think that's necessary…" Light protested to the clerk. The clerk, however, had other ideas.
"In fact, why don't I give you a guided tour of the place?" he smiled at Light but glared daggers at L, who was now cowering behind the counter. This was why he never went shopping.
Light sighed. "I'm sorry, but we really can't-"
The clerk winked at him through boyish blonde bangs.
"Caaamon….it'll be fun."
Matsuda: Short again?
Me: Short and sweet!
Matsuda: How many chapters will this thing be?
Me: About nine. Maybe ten.
Matsuda: This will get really old, really fast.
Me: Not to be vulgar, but there are some twists that I'm pretty much about to pull out of my ass.
Matsuda: I see….
Me: Farewell, folks. Watch out for those teenage store clerks.