Skin Gets In The Way
Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto..?
Author's Notes: I just want to say thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter and to everyone who favourited or put this story on alert. I appreciate it! I will try to reply to all of the reviews for this chapter... I'm just scatter-brained, so if I didn't reply to you, don't worry! I adored your review.
P.S. The characters are 'spreaking' in Japanese. Because I dislike their English voice actors…
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Chapter Two
The sun was beginning to set when Hatake Kakashi reached his house. The sky was a warm mixture of oranges and reds, casting everything in a soft golden light that was unique to their village.
Kakashi looked down at Sasuke, still sleeping soundly in his arms. One of his arms was still curled around his shoulder and his head was resting right beneath the older man's chin; he was still wearing nothing but Kakashi's black shirt. He noted to himself how light Sasuke was and how quiet he was when he slept.
Thinking it best not to wake him, Kakashi carried Sasuke into the house and set him down on the couch in the den. He walked into the tiny narrow hallway of the house and opened up a closet, taking out and unfolding a large blanket. Then walking further into the tiny house, he went to his room and picked up his own pillow and brought both items back to the den where Sasuke was still fast asleep.
Smiling beneath his mask, Kakashi lifted Sasuke's head very gently and rested the boy's head on his pillow. Then proceeded to wrap Sasuke in the blanket, making sure that it covered every bit of him so that he'd stay comfortable and warm.
He heard Sasuke sigh softly in his sleep, shifting his body a little and nuzzling the pillow adorably. Kakashi sat down next to him. He watched him sleep and the whole house was quiet save for Sasuke's soft breaths. He leaned his head back in fatigue.
He looked out one of his windows and noticed that the sun was almost set, the sky turning a dark purple colour and soon would be completely black and filled with stars.
Kakashi sighed, pulling down his mask and placing it carefully on the arm of the couch. Then he reached up and untied his metal leaf headband and placed it on top of his mask the same way. He ran his hand through his hair briefly, messing it. Without the support of his headband his messy bangs fell down to cover his forehead.
He looked down at Sasuke. He knew well of the Uchiha clan's demise, and thus, he assumed, the death of Sasuke's own parents. He wondered, did the boy live alone? When training was done and each person of their squad went home to retire, where did Sasuke go? Who took care of him?
Kakashi didn't have to ask the question because he already knew the answer.
Nobody did.
Kakashi felt sympathy for his student. He'd never thought about it until right now, about what kind of lives his students lived, especially not Sasuke. He knew Sakura had parents and was quite happy, albeit spoiled… And Naruto was a whole different story. Naruto had never had parents and so he'd never known their type of love. He'd grown up without it and so Kakashi knew, from his own experience, that the kid did not need it so much as an adolescent. Plus, Naruto had Iruka now for care and guidance when needed. Naruto had someone to look up to.
But he'd never thought to ask about Sasuke, who'd seemed so independent all along. But was he really? He was just a little boy after all…
He leaned over and touched Sasuke's hair. He was surprised at how soft and dry it felt. He petted Sasuke's head gently as he slept and he watched as Sasuke sighed contentedly in his sleep at his touch.
Outside it was completely dark now and all of the houses nearby were shutting off their lights, and everybody was going to sleep for the night. Kakashi got up and went over to the hanging lamp that provided the room with its only source of light. He looked at Sasuke one last time before opening the front of the lantern and blowing out the flame inside, causing the entire small house to go dark in one instant.
Kakashi walked over to the door and went outside and stood on the porch, leaning his back against one of the wooden supports. The night air was cool and crisp and felt good against his bare skin. The sound of the wind moving through the trees was comforting and the whole sky was dotted with stars and Kakashi was troubled, left all alone with his thoughts and feelings.
He wouldn't sleep tonight.
Later that morning
It felt like morning. He felt so warm, so safe, even cozy. He didn't think he'd ever felt this comfortable before, so completely physically sound that he never wanted to move.
Before he even opened his eyes he could feel the sun's light in front of his eyelids, and felt its heat warming the blanket that covered him. His pillow smelt fresh and felt fluffy and soft against his cheek, and outside, he heard the pleasant sound of birds chirping.
He moaned, rolling slightly so that he was on his back. He opened his eyes; sunlight was filtering through the small windows of the house, making everything a dull warm tone; he found that he was looking up at an unfamiliar ceiling, covered in muddy-looking water stains and leaks with a quickly rotating fan right above him.
As he woke up more so he began to look around, still sleepy and rubbing his eyes; he was in a small old house, tiny enough to be an apartment. All of the furniture appeared old and slightly worn and all of the walls were wood-paneled. The floors were carpeted an ambiguous color. The windows were small and dirty, and all of the doors were warped with a small green curtain hung over the front of them.
Against the walls were large book cases piled with scrolls and books and even more piles of literature stacked muddled on the floor. He noticed there were no electronics to be found besides an ornate radio that sat on a table on the other side of the room, next to a set of burning incense and an old tattered, weather-beaten map that covered most of the table and spilled onto the floor. On the walls hung more old maps, old and faded delicate paintings, and battered and shredded flag with the Hidden Leaf symbol written on it, looking old enough to be from the last great war. The house was filled with the smell of dust and the scent of old paper, of care worn things.
In the other room down the hallway he heard someone walking around, and the faint sound of something boiling. Sasuke yawned loudly, sitting up and stretching his arms over his head. He shifted underneath the blanket, surprised at the moment at noticing that he didn't have any pants on. He looked down at himself, still covered in Kakashi's oversized long sleeved black shirt.
Was this Kakashi sensei's house?
Sasuke shifted himself off the couch, standing up and stretching his arms and legs. It was a personal ritual he always performed when he woke up. He looked around as he put his hands on his hips and stretched his shoulders and neck as well, surveying and analyzing the room more closely. He wondered why Kakashi would live in such an old run down-looking place. But it sort of fit him; cluttered and not caring in the least… yet, looking around, the lived-in feeling of it soothed him even more.
Sasuke started to walk around the small den room, inspecting with great care all of the things that caught his interest. He walked the length of the room and then found himself back at the couch, slightly bored but still interested in the situation and still a little edgy at the fact that he was half-naked.
He was about to step over and relax back on the very soft-looking couch when he foot landed on something rounded and hard. He picked his foot up in surprised, looking down. He bent down and picked up the object and held it up. It was a Hidden Leaf forehead protector. Sasuke looked back down, curiously, and picked up a second object that was sitting discarded on the ground where the head band had also been;
A navy blue piece of cloth. Sasuke unfolded it and inspected it carefully. He thought for a moment about what it could possibly be. It was Kakashi's house, his head band was on the floor, so…
He jumped slightly when he figured it out, tossing the piece of cloth back on the ground in surprise.
He heard someone opening a door and then soft footsteps walking down the hallway towards him.
"Sasuke kun?" Kakashi sensei's voice called to him as he approached, "Are you awake yet?"
He stood frozen, not sure what to do. As Kakashi emerged from the hallway and stepped out into the den, Sasuke could only stand numbly with clenched fists and rigid posture; in guilty anticipation, in anxiousness, and in excitement most of all.
Kakashi stood in front of him, wearing his usual black attire and a somewhat silly-looking white apron tied around the front. He smiled warmly and raised a hand in greeting. "I thought I heard you waking up," he stated pleasantly.
Sasuke didn't answer, could only stand dumbfounded at the sight, feeling caught red-handed. Kakashi blinked in surprise, noticing the strange look on his face. He looked down and saw his mask sitting on the floor and scratched his hair in contemplation.
"Kakashi sensei... your mask… I just found it! I'm sorry!" Sasuke immediately put his hands over his eyes and shut them tightly. "I won't tell anyone!"
He never imagined that Kakashi sensei would be that handsome.
Kakashi's eyes widened slightly. "Oh... that? It's alright, Sasuke-kun..."
"It's not!" Sasuke cried, feeling wet tears blotting against his palms, "I'm sorry Kakashi sensei!"
Kakashi noticed the unsteadiness of Sasuke's voice; he could tell the boy was beginning to cry. Kakashi's heart suddenly felt heavy. He stepped over to Sasuke who still stood with his hands covering his face. Kakashi, very gently, took hold of both of Sasuke's wrists and tried to move them away from his face.
"Sasuke, don't get upset. It's nothing to worry about.." But Sasuke resisted stubbornly, yanking away from him and turning around. He wrapped his arms around himself protectively and sniffled.
The older man sighed, placing a hand on his hip. "Sasuke," he said, sighing heavily, "I have a confession to make."
Sasuke was quiet now, listening.
"I… wanted you to see me; my face." Kakashi said, "I wanted you to see."
Sasuke felt a jolt down his spine at his sensei's words. He was surprised- and terribly confused. Why would Kakashi sensei…?
Sasuke turned around slowly, coming to look at Kakashi's grinning face. He really had the most perfect face Sasuke had ever seen, a face you were instantly attracted and drawn to look at. He had a charming smile, and very attractive features. And when he met Kakashi sensei's eyes he couldn't bare to look for very long, and shyly turned his eyes away, blushing all the while.
"Why… Kakashi sensei, I'm not sure I understand..." He said, "But… I'm sorry I got so carried away. I just…"
Kakashi smiled, stepping even closer and wrapping an arm around Sasuke's shoulders. "Sasuke, I understand. You're very caring about my feelings. I like that about you very much."
Sasuke looked up at Kakashi in awe, touched. Kakashi sensei's words penetrated his defenses and filled him with a warm, good feeling that he wasn't used to. It tickled his stomache and made him both excited and uncomfortable at the same time, but happy for it all the same. No one had ever said anything like that to him before. Never in his entire life.
Kakashi smiled down at him, "Here, Sasuke. Come with me to the kitchen. I made breakfast."
"Breakfast..." repeated Sasuke, and the thought of it suddenly made his stomache ache with hunger. He hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday. Kakashi placed his hand on his shoulder and guided him to the kitchen. When Sasuke entered, he wasn't surprised to find that the kitchen was in the exact same shape as the den, and a third the size.
The room consisted of a rickety-looking dining table with two mismatching chairs, with a rusted vase sitting in the center of the table filled with newly-picked flowers. There was a sink, made of plastic and looking more like a wash-basin, with both dirty clothes and dirty dishes piled below it waiting to be cleaned. There were counters covered with various indistinguishable things, and above those was one single window with smudged green curtains that looked out into the forest and faced the sun in the morning.
"Make yourself at home, it'll just be a minute." Kakashi said, walking briskly around in the tiny room. Sasuke looked around, feeling somewhat claustrophobic. The table and chairs took up most of the room so everything else was lined against the walls, and he wondered how Kakashi sensei could even cook in here.
Sasuke carefully pulled out one of the chairs and sat down at the table, being sure not to bump into the refrigerator that stood directly behind him. Kakashi stood in front of the oven, stirring something in a pan, then tending to something boiling in a pot; all while looking quite busy. Sasuke watched him, stared at his back, and smiled to himself at Kakashi sensei doing such a feminine thing, wearing an apron all the while.
He thought it was.. cute.
He wasn't really sure why.
After several minutes Kakashi came back to the table, holding two bowls, a small plate, and a pair of chopsticks in his hands. He placed them in front of Sasuke, warm steam and delicious smells drifting up from their contents. Sasuke's mouth began to water; there was a bowl of homemade miso soup, along with a bowl of steamed rice with fried egg piled generously ontop and grilled fish on the side.
Another first. Sasuke hadn't had anything served to him like this, not since he was a very young child with his parents, and even then, it was hard to remember anything from so long ago. It felt like it was the first time he'd ever been tended to, ever eaten something so delicious. He started to hungrily devour it, losing himself in the home cooked meal. Kakashi, smiling, went to the counter where a hot plate was boiling with a kettle ontop. He took two cups and poured some tea into each, one for Sasuke and one for himself.
Sasuke thanked him and took the tea gratefully, sipping it, cherishing it, and not caring if it was too hot for him. He dug into the egg and rice after finishing the soup, taking small bites of fish and sipping on tea in between. He just couldn't stop, it was all too good.
He then noticed that Kakashi sensei wasn't eating anything. Just watching him, sipping tea, with a very pleasant smile on his face.
"Aren't you going to eat, Kakashi sensei?" He asked, feeling rude and more than a little embarrassed, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to start eating before you did..."
"It's alright," Kakashi said nicely, "I already had breakfast before you woke." He saw that Sasuke looked a little flustered, probably feeling modest about eating. "It's really ok. Go on, eat." He reassured.
Sasuke smiled and nodded and started to eat again. If Kakashi sensei said it was ok, he would, but he still felt a bit shameful. He also now felt very special, knowing that Kakashi sensei had made all of this just for him. He wondered why anyone would do such a kind thing just for him. It didn't make much sense to him at all.
"You look troubled," Kakashi said, leaning over to look at Sasuke more closely, "Does it taste alright?"
"Oh!" Sasuke said, surprised out of his thoughts. Apparently Kakashi was quite perceptive about people's emotions. Though he wondered if his thoughts were really just written all over his face.
Sasuke blushed a little bit. "It tastes really good, sensei. Th-thank you…"
Kakashi smiled gently. "Good. That makes me very happy."
Sasuke looked up at his teacher and smiled up at him shyly. For some reason, he liked this, sitting with Kakashi sensei. He knew he shouldn't, and he knew it wasn't proper for a student and a teacher to be doing this kind of thing. It was all really informal, but Kakashi sensei was being so nice to him. No one had ever acted so genuinely caring to him.
Then there had always been tons of girls in school who'd been nice to him; every Valentines day every girl in school would give him chocolates and presents. Sasuke didn't know a girl in his class that hadn't confessed their love to him. They all thought he was so cool and cute, but he knew none of them really cared for him. They all just wanted his attention, wanted something from him, and so he knew to just ignore them. He hated girls, hated the way they swooned over him without really knowing him at all and not putting any time into doing so.
But.. this was different. Kakashi sensei made him breakfast because he wanted to, and had asked for nothing in return. It was… well, Sasuke didn't know what to make of it. This sort of thing, interacting with people, it all confused him and made him just a bit upset. The fact that he couldn't understand why Kakashi sensei would be so nice bothered him.
"Kakashi sensei…" he said, lowering his chopsticks and looking down at his lap, "Why are you… being so nice to me?
"Hmm? What do you mean?" Kakashi asked, looking a bit interested.
"Well I…" Sasuke stammered a bit, "I… I don't know, it's just…"
"Sasuke," Kakashi interrupted, "I like you very much. That's enough for me." It was simple, but Sasuke still didn't quite understand very well, and Kakashi saw it on his face. He knew Sasuke wasn't usually treated like this; this only confirmed everything he'd been wondering about. It was painfully obvious that Sasuke had never been cooked anything personally since his parents died, that no one had given him special attention ever since. He'd wanted it not to be true, but it was; he'd known it all along; that Sasuke was a neglected child.
Kakashi noticed that Sasuke had some rice sticking to the corner of his mouth. Though he thought it was cute, he leaned over the table and wiped Sasuke's face carefully with a napkin. Sasuke blushed, but was startled when Kakashi dropped the napkin but his hand didn't move from his face.
Sasuke stared with wide eyes as Kakashi sensei cupped his cheek with his hand very gently. He thought wildly about how Kakashi sensei's hands felt so warm, about how his thumb was resting on his lips. They stared into each other's eyes, and then a smile formed on Kakashi's face.
"Sasuke, you're so cute and small. I can't help but want to be good to you."
"What!?" Sasuke said, surprised, moving away from Kakashi's hand and blushing violently, "What do you mean by that?"
Kakashi felt like being a little flirtatious now. "What do you think I mean by it, Sasuke kun?"
This only made him more and more flustered and he couldn't think of a reasonable answer, and instead picked up his cup and drank some tea, hiding his face from Kakashi's view. But when he lowered his cup the adult was still staring straight at him, fully, with a very dominant gaze that was totally different from the way Kakashi had been looking at him before. The inquisitive kindness of his sensei's previously watchful gaze had been replaced by a very firey, passionate one that centered right on Sasuke's face and directly into his eyes. Sasuke had never met anyone with such an intense stare.
He was a little worried... what was Kakashi sensei thinking right now?
Kakashi put his elbows on the table and rested his head in his hands, as though he were looking at something very very intently. "You don't like compliments, do you Sasuke kun?"
Sasuke shook nodded his head very quickly up and down, shutting his eyes with the pure agreement with Kakashi sensei's statement. The jounin laughed. "Why?"
It was easy to answer this question. "Because I don't understand why someone would say them. Besides the obvious reasons."
"Like what reasons?"
Sasuke smiled bitterly down at his cup of still steaming tea, now half empty. "Like girls who tell me that I'm smart or nice or cool. But the outside is all they see. They don't know a single thing about me truly, but they obsess over me and follow me around like stray animals.," Sasuke said, "I just hate it."
Kakashi tilted his head, chuckling. "Is that how you feel? I was sure any young boy would love to have all of the girls at his school giggling over him..."
"No!" Sasuke said, shaking his head, "I hate it. They're too stupid to notice who I really am. They just want someone they think is cool or popular to like them back, so all of the other girls will be jealous of them. They use such heavy words like love to express their feelings, but don't really mean it; compliments are just the same. People who share compliments with me don't really mean what they say, so I've learned to ignore those kinds of things."
"Hmm.. but what happens when someone really does truly mean his compliment? His feelings may get hurt when you reject it."
Sasuke scoffed. "I don't think someone would give a compliment without wanting one in return. It's unlikely to me."
Kakashi raised his eyebrows in interest. "Oh?" A broad smile spread over his face. "Then how could someone prove to you that they weren't being shallow? That they really meant what they were saying to you?"
"I said it before!" Sasuke exclaimed, getting a little frustrated with Kakashi sensei's prodding, "There's no way to tell because words can be faked and rehearsed. Words don't mean anything- it's actions that count! You can lie with words, but when you do something really good for someone- that really tells them that you're sincere. That's what I think."
Then Sasuke added, with a small amount of humility in his voice, "Well, like you did. I appreciate you letting me stay here and eat with you. It was… nice."
Kakashi smiled. "That's good. Here," Kakashi said, standing up from the table and picking up the morning's dirty dishes and putting them in the basin on top of all the others ones, "I'll walk you home. It's almost twelve o'clock and I have a meeting with the council to get to later."
"Oh…" Sasuke mumbled with a hint of sadness. He'd forgotten how busy jounins tended to be. Of course Kakashi sensei couldn't stay with him for so long. But part of him wanted to stay with Kakashi sensei, just to talk to him, to look at him, to feel his intense gaze and admire his very attractive face, even if their conversation had gotten a little intense at the end. But he was secretly happy for it.. Sasuke never had anyone to talk to like that, and no one had ever listened to him as whole heartedly as Kakashi just had. He'd never had anyone consider his ideas, and a little bit to Sasuke's discomfort, contradict and question him for them. It was new, and a bit exciting to know that Kakashi was so interested in him like this, though he didn't yet completely understand the reasons why. All he knew was that he was sort of… dreading leaving Kakashi sensei's house. He would walk him home and leave, and Sasuke would be alone again.
Kakashi sensei had made him feel special and cared about, like he mattered- but now it was going to end and Kakashi sensei would probably either forget or ignore all that happened, like an adult would. He wasn't sure if Kakashi sensei thought that any of the stuff that had happened this morning and the day before were significant in anyway, or if they were just something to amuse him for a bit.
The thought hurt Sasuke a bit. It was just the way things had to be.
Sasuke got up from his chair and followed Kakashi out the door of the kitchen and through the den. Kakashi bent down and picked up his headband and mask and put them on again. Then he went to the front door and opened it, bright midday sunlight spilling through the dark little house. Sasuke squinted as Kakashi lead him outside, down the steps, and into the dirt streets filled with small houses and blowing trees.
"Wait," Sasuke said quickly, stopping and looking down at himself, "I... I'm not wearing any pants underneath this shirt!" Sasuke blushed and tried to pull down the oversized shirt to further cover himself up. Kakashi chuckled.
"Don't worry, Sasuke kun. You can't see anything. Anyone who sees you will just assume you're wearing shorts underneath that."
The two of them kept walking side by side.
"But," Kakashi said with a grin, "Your appearance is even more cute, because I know what's actually underneath…"
Sasuke half-choked, quite annoyed. "Sensei! You're not supposed to talk like that!"
Why did it seem that Kakashi sensei was usually hinting at something very dirty beneath his words?
Kakashi laughed softly at this, but didn't say anything more. The two of them fell silent and just walked, street after street. They were walking down the lesser known paths, so they met few people along the way. Sasuke had been worried that it would be uncomfortable for Kakashi sensei to walk him home, but he'd been wrong. Kakashi sensei didn't seem bothered by his silence, or at least, he didn't show it. But Kakashi sensei had his mask back on and somehow, his demeanor had changed along with it. He was back to being his teacher, with his guard up... Kakashi sensei always had a somewhat laid back, cool way about him, but now that they were back to being in public as strictly student and teacher, he seemed even more bored, even more detached and even more aloof. Sasuke couldn't think of a single thing to say to him all the time that they walked together, and somehow, he felt like Kakashi sensei wouldn't be so interested in it anyway; despite the fact that they'd spent the whole morning together talking, and Kakashi had been so intent about him- he wondered why Kakashi sensei seemed this way to him all of the sudden?
Eventually they neared Sasuke's house, and found themselves standing in front of it. Sasuke hesitated going inside, and Kakashi saw the frown evident on the boy's face.
"What's wrong?" Kakashi asked, standing with his characteristically bad posture beside him. Sasuke looked up at him with a pout on his face, and it almost made Kakashi melt.
"It's just…" Sasuke started, "Kakashi sensei, do you like me at all?"
Kakashi looked surprised by the question, lifting up his eyebrows in piqued interest. "Why do you ask that?"
"Kakashi sensei!" Sasuke cried, stamping his feet in frustration. "You- why don't you just answer questions like a normal person without just returning them with a question of your own!?"
Kakashi smiled beneath his mask and leaned down abruptly to Sasuke's level.
"Because I want to know why you ask the questions you ask, Sasuke, that's all. And yes…" He leaned down even further so that his face was beside Sasuke's ear and whispered in a suddenly deep, gentle voice, "..I do like you very much."
Sasuke tried to keep the color from rising to his cheeks in bashfulness and surprise as he felt Kakashi sensei's breath tickling his ear. The deep, sensual tone in which Kakashi sensei just spoke to him definitely put all of Sasuke's fears to rest, though now, he wasn't quite sure if that was exactly a good thing or not.
The jounin stood upright again and smiled brightly as if nothing had just happened and patted Sasuke in a friendly way on the shoulder, "Sasuke, I expect you to be at training tomorrow, alright?"
Sasuke was still blushing madly, looking up at his sensei with both an inquisitive and demure look on his face. Sasuke lowered his head and answered quietly, "H-hai, Sensei. Thank you…!"And Sasuke found himself turning around and hastily retreating into his house, unable to look at Kakashi sensei without feeling a mixture of very confusing emotions and feelings that were beginning to make their way to the surface. He knew that if he stayed around him any longer his teacher would say more passionate things to him and it would only make him more and more confused and even more infatuated with Kakashi sensei.
He darted inside and shut the door behind him, leaning against it and breathing softly and rapidly. He couldn't take the way Kakashi sensei looked at him so eagerly, he'd just had to get away. What was Kakashi sensei thinking? He was an adult. He wasn't supposed to say those kinds of things to him, wasn't supposed to arouse such feelings in him. He hinted at such things at times that Sasuke wondered what he could possibly mean by saying them.
But for some reason, now that the shock of the moment had begun to fade and he was beginning to regain his composure, he started to smile to himself. Kakashi sensei, though acting a little strange about it, had said he liked him. Even though it was difficult to Sasuke to admit, he felt good about that. He liked that Kakashi sensei liked him, that he seemed special to him.
But how exactly did Kakashi sensei feel about him….?