A/N: I lost chapter 4 in an editing crisis for this story, but luckily it was only chapter 1 and 4 that I lost (I transfered all the chapters and checked!) So I rewrote it. Let's hope it's as good as the first time!)
Credits: I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON! But the story is all a creation of my mind!
Summery: Tsukino Usagi, already facing a brutal life of an orphanage, now has to help Chiba Mamoru with his hate for life by attempting to be his friend and helping him see the wonders of love. All this proves to harden when she is a targeted with a sickness she would not reveal to anyone but the doctors. With her life-line reducing dramatically, how can she keep the promise she made to her new friend and herself when death could just as well be around the corner?
To Teach Him To Love
Chapter 4
When Mamoru entered my hospital room, he looked like a deer caught in headlights. A glaring deer in headlights, that is. I wasn't sure whether it was because of me, though, since he had a faraway look in his eyes.
"Come, sit," I said, patting the spot next to me. He obliged, and settled down right next to me. He was still glaring, which made me nervous.
"Listen, Mamoru, my condition is... not so good."
"When will you get better? What is it?"
I bit down on my lip. It's now or never...
But I didn't want to tell him. I knew that it would only result in hurting him. I also knew that I had to.
"I will die in two months."
His eyes went cold. And then he got up silently and left.
--
I had no visitors at all, and after two days the doctor told me that I could go back home to see my friends. Mr. Wayne came to pick me up, and when we drove up to Lilly Valley Orphanage, no one was there to greet me.
I walked through the door first, and Mr. Wayne followed soon after. He told me to go wash up for dinner, and right on cue Mrs. Wayne emerged from the kitchen with two trays in her hands.
She looked at me, nodded, and gestured to the dining room where everyone sat for dinner. Well... everyone but Mamoru.
"Could you talk to him?" Mr. Wayne asked when he noticed me searching the faces for him. "He hasn't eaten since we came back from the hospital."
I nodded, already a full step ahead of him.
I went to my room to change my clothes to a fresh skirt and top, then headed towards Mamoru's room.
When I reached the corner, though, I wasn't sure what I'd encounter. But after being forced to take medicine, getting stuff shoved down my throat, and needles being placed in every section of my body, I could surely handle Mamoru.
It was better said than done, though.
I didn't bother knocking, and opened the door. It was dark inside, and it took me a moment to realize that Mamoru was in his bed wearing only sweatpants.
"I don't want any dinner, Mrs. Wayne, I thought I already-" he looked up and the words died in the air as he looked at me.
"Didn't you get out of bed at all today?" I asked.
"What do you want?"
"I'm home."
There was a long pause before he finally said, "I hate you, go away."
Instead, I walked over to him and put my arms around his waist. "I love you."
"I don't need you."
"I do."
"Usagi," his voice was steady, but I knew there was a temper behind the words, "I want you to leave before I do something I'll later regret."
I knew better than to underestimate the warning, so I placed a soft kiss on his cheek, hurt when he flinched, and walked back to the door. But before I left, I whispered, "I missed you." I was not sure if he heard.
I closed the door soundlessly behind me and began to make my way to the dining room.
At dinner, everything was different. There were no jabs at me when I showed up from any of the kids. Rob, one of the fifteen-year-olds in the orphanage, had helped me into a chair. Whenever I asked for the salt, or maybe some cheese or sausages, the kids would gladly help. Stace, the girl sitting next to me, would occasionally pour me some orange juice when my cup was empty.
But everyone kept looking at me, worried that I'd had an attack at the table. It made me nervous, but I tried to eat like I hadn't even noticed the sideways glances. It helped when Mr. Wayne began to tell us a story of when he was younger and had a dog, since it broke the thick silence in the room.
I was glad, however, to have been able to finally hang out with the kids of Lilly Valley without being judged. I finally felt needed. And at home.
--
After dinner, I went to my room to change for bed. Digging through piles of familiar things, I dug up my pajama bottoms and a top, then pulled my hair down. I was about to go to Mamoru as my regular routine, when I suddenly noticed a pale purple letter on my bed. The only words on it, in Mamoru's neat handwriting, were
Usagi,
Don't come today,
Mamoru
I stood there, staring at the words. Then, instead of feeling intimidated as I usually would have, I took the note across the hall and put it in the paper shredder, and continued to do so until only small pieces were left over. I threw those out into the trash and proceeded to make my way to Mamoru's room.
When I got there, I opened the door and walked in. Then I noticed him on the bed, sleeping. But as I walked closer to him I realized that I was mistaken; that he was pretending to sleep.
I settled down on the edge of his bed, and twisted my body so that I could put my hands on his bare chest. Heat radiated from his body, sending electricity up my spine.
"Mamoru... I know you're awake. Come on, talk to me." I paused. "Why did you write that note to me, Mamoru?"
When he said nothing, I sighed. "Alright, I'll be doing all the talking then. Listen, Mamoru, I didn't ask for this fate. All I want to do is live, but, then again, I guess I spent so much time wishing I were not taking up the space on Earth, that I got my wish."
His breathing had become irregular, so I put my head on his chest. "I love you, Mamoru. With all my heart."
We sat engulfed in silence until finally I lifted my head and moved towards him until both of our noses were touching. His mouth opened slightly, his breath mingling with mine.
"Mamoru," I breathed. Then I leaned down and captured his lips with mine.
I was surprised when his hands snaked around my waist, but not displeased. My hand traveled up his chest and cupped his cheek as he kissed me back.
It felt... magical. There was this electricity that buzzed through my body, a longing towards him. And as he bit down on my bottom lip, teasing me, my heart was about ready to burst. I pulled away, but our lips were only millimeters apart. I took a deep breath, wanting this moment to last. And as his head shot up, he captured my lips again, and one of his hands moved their way up to my hair, brushing the strands from my face.
Finally, I sighed and sat up, moving to position myself against the wall. I patted the spot next to me, still too affected by his kiss to say anything.
Mamoru groaned and sat up, moving to sit with me. He nuzzled his face in my neck, kissing it gently before moving up to my jaw, and finally to my ear. "I liked our earlier position better," he said, sending shivers down my spine.
"As did I, but it was hurting my back."
"Oops," he breathed.
His head rested on my shoulder, kissing my neck every few seconds before I finally spoke, my voice weak because of the things he was doing. "Why did you give me that note?"
"I didn't want you to worry about me," he replied between his butterfly kisses.
"I always worry about you."
"Mmm..."
"Mamoru," I murmured, grabbing his hand and intertwining our fingers, "tell the truth."
He stopped and sighed. "Alright, fine, you want the truth? I was scared. Scared to feel what I felt after my parents died. Scared to have you leave me, because... I care about you." He squeezed my fingers. "Our lives are knotted, remember?"
I laughed and nodded. "Yes, they are."
He paused, breathing hard, and I was afraid of what was going through his mind. Finally, he said, "I think you should leave."
It surprised me and it hurt. A lot. And I felt so confused, so rejected, that I began to get up without a word.
But then he wouldn't let go of my hand, and I turned back to him, questioning his intentions with my eyes.
"I said that you should," he replied, "not that I want you to."
He wrapped his arms around my waist, engulfing me in warmth. I rested against his chest, listening to his heavy breathing.
"I'm afraid of losing you," he finally said. I looked down at my hands, not sure what to say. "I thought it would be better to distance myself from you while I could. But I realized that I can't.. These past two days have been torture. And then you told me all those things when I said things I shouldn't have..."
Another moment passed between us, a comfortable one. But after a moment, the air around me began to thicken. I needed to think about this.
Reluctantly, I moved away.
He looked at me, confused, as I slipped out of his grasp until only our hands were locked together.
"I think we should sleep tonight, Mamoru," I said, looking away. When I looked back, he nodded.
"But I'm taking you back."
"You don't need to-"
"What if what happened outside happens to you while you're heading back?"
"I guarantee you that it won't."
"Better to be safe than to be sorry," he sang.
I sighed, but nodded.
Now, Mamoru didn't just walk me to my room. He also tucked me in, kissed my forehead, whispered goodnight, turned off my lights, and sat down at the furthest part of my room – the wooden box – and watched me drift off. It felt nice, having someone act so protective over me, but also unusual. Because, truth be told, even though I enjoyed it, I wasn't used to it.
And it made it that much harder to fall asleep.
So he began to hum a lullaby quietly and slightly off-key. And before I knew it, I was in dream land, where anything could happen....
TBC
A/N: Please REVIEW! I need your honest thoughts about this story.