You're all twisted, twisted women…the more I hurt Sam the happier you are! Who am I to deny you such simple and disturbing pleasures though?! The pattern of behaviour you may have noticed with me is that when I hurt one Winchester it pretty much all goes to crap…whoop! (evil laugh)

You're enjoying the way that this is going so far and I have to love the ideas, don't let it be said that I don't listen to you guys!
No, the Impala is not just going to start itself…but, I'll see what I can do! No, Steve and Audrey are not forgotten and yeah, I would love to work on the show but could you imagine the scene?

Kripke: Any ideas for Season 5?

LoA: Ooh me, me!!!

Kripke: Great let's hear it.

LoA: So let's throw Sam down a flight of stairs and gimp him up.

Kripke: Right….that's different.

LoA: He'll be ok though but totally fucked at the same time…in a hot way.

Kripke: I don't know how Jared's gonna feel about this.

LoA: He'll be totally cool, trust me…he gets to sit on his ass and cry all season! Dean can get all protective over him and the girls will go mad for Baby on wheels especially when he uses his belt on them!

Kripke: He's gonna whip them?

LoA: Duh! Of course not, he just uses it to get some traction during the love scenes….get Jared in here and I'll show you.

Jared: Hey guys.

LoA: Hubba hubba.

Kripke: The new girl has some er…interesting ideas for the new season.

Jared: Great, bring 'em on.

LoA: Wow, you are tall….grab a seat, I just want to demonstrate something for the boss.

(LoA whips off his belt and fastens it around her waist)

LoA: So, I climb onto him like this and then put my feet on his shoulders ok? Actually this is a little harder than it looks, I can't quite lift my butt high enough…do you think we could get Jensen in here to give me a boost?

Ok….I'm stopping now but I think you get the picture!

This chap is light on Hope...it's all about the boys here; specifically Sam, Dean, Johnny and our favourite naked Winchester; Q.B Cole! Yay!!!

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Bobby had seen it all over the years and there was little that could shock him but he could never get his head around the idea of being gay. He figured people had their reasons for wanting to be that way but he couldn't work out the mechanics of where everything went, nor did he want to. Johnny fitted into every homosexual stereotype Bobby had except that the Chinaman was an amazing hunter and an even better fighter. Johnny loved to wind him up and watch him get annoyed, it had been at the crux of their relationship since the very beginning.

"Hey old man, where are you at with the bones?" Johnny asked him over the phone.

"Kid, I'm in my eighties, do you honestly think I'm diggin' anyone up right now?"

"So who have you sent?"

"Your boyfriend."

"Steve?! You sent a gay accountant to dig up a body and burn it, are you senile?!" He squealed.

"You wanna lower your voice so I can hear ya as well as all the dogs in the neighbourhood?"

"I can't believe you…"

"Don't get a hard on, it's a walk in the park, anyone could do it. It'll be good for him, builds muscle."

"I like him feeble."

"I thought you were the woman?" he asked genuinely confused.

"I may act like one sometimes but in bed I'm the man!" Johnny hung up furious with the old codger as he dialled Steve's number.

"Hello." He whispered.

"What do you think you're doing?!" The high pitch squeal had heightened in intensity.

"Ouch…that's my ear!"

"Where are you?"

"I just got to Arlington."

"You get your ass back home now!"

"Who came out and made you the Daddy?"

"Tom Cruise…you have no business getting involved."

"Stop being such a queen and help me out here. I have a map with the grave marked, I have a shovel too but there's a big gate."

Johnny tutted. "Haven't you climbed a gate before Shirley?"

"It's not exactly my forte."

"I dunno you seem ok at getting your leg over to me."

"I'm going now…"

"Call me when you're in you big glutton for punishment!"

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Cole was shocked when he got to the locker room and found it surrounded by reporters and random people he didn't recognize.

"What's going on?" He asked one of the players.

"It's your fan club." He said as they all spotted Cole and surrounded him suddenly.

"…Can you tell us where you come from...?"

"..Which college are you going to…?"

"…Where are your parents…?"

Cole's head started to pound as he pushed past the mass of people and burst into the locker room closing the door behind him feeling it vibrate with energy. They had already had the post game speech from the coach and he just wanted to find Jackson and keep an eye on him. If he managed to fit in a shower too then he would be happy.

As soon as he got to his locker he stripped off his shirt throwing it over to the laundry bin and ditched the pads. He breathed a sigh of relief and sat down on the long bench in front of him. He took a moment to regroup as the rest of the guys celebrated around him. Although he had loved being out there he was painfully aware that he wasn't a true Panther. The only team he could ever play for was Team Winchester and the thought both depressed and exhilarated him.

Kicking off his shoes he noticed the room growing quiet making him look up with a frown. A few of the guys were whispering to one another, it was obvious they were talking about him but he wasn't too concerned. He had more to worry about than a few pissed off kids. Stripping off the rest of his clothes he slung a towel over his shoulder and hit the showers.

The hot water soothed him and he leaned against the tiles letting it wash over his long hair. He could sense movement behind him and looked over his shoulder to see half the team staring at him with Jackson taking the lead. Some of them were still dressed, some had towels wrapped around their waists and the object had obviously been to catch him at a disadvantage. He knew what was coming and sighed as he switched the shower off and turned around wiping the water off his face.

He stood naked and unafraid in front of them as Wade Jackson glared angrily.

"I'm not here to cause trouble." Cole said quietly.

"Really? 'Cos it seems to me that's all you been doin' since you and that trashy sister of yours showed up in town."

"Maybe I went a bit overboard tonight but don't you dare talk about her that way."

Jackson laughed and ignored the threat. "A bit? There were goddamn recruiters out there and now all they want is you! We can just kiss all our scholarships goodbye."

He shrugged. "I'm not going to college and I'm definitely not going to the NFL so don't worry your pretty little heads about that. I'll be out of your hair soon."

Jackson took a step towards him. "Damn straight you will, see how many touchdowns you score from a hospital bed!"

Cole was ready for the onslaught but hit the floor quickly because of the wet tiles. He struggled to get his footing as studded boots slammed into him and he felt a rib crack, he didn't feel any pain but wasn't going down without a fight either.

He grabbed an arm and pulled himself to his knees as he started to deflect the hits and get in a few of his own but even so, he was up against eleven guys who all wanted to exact their petty revenge on him.

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Dean would never in his life wish harm on his brother but right at that moment in time he was glad Sam was in so much pain. If it wasn't for that there was no way in hell he would be desperate and scared enough to find the strength to be doing what he was doing. He may be almost twenty years older since the beam lifting incident but he didn't feel it and the emotions and adrenaline felt fresh as they surged through him.

The snow was piling up all around the car and everything he needed including the shovel was in the trunk which was frozen shut. He'd tried shooting the lock but ice had sealed it tight. He blew on his red fingers and rubbed them together trying to get some feeling back in them. He was glad of the hat but his beard was crunchy with ice and if he took his jeans off right then they would probably be able to stand up on their own.

He tucked his fingertips under the rim and placed a boot on the fender as he willed all the adrenaline he had into his biceps and pulled. He screamed into the wind and felt a crack as the ice began to give. "Shit!" He yelled as he looked at his broken nails and bloodied hands.

He walked back to the rear and shouted at Sam through the window as he cleared the frost off it with his sleeve. "I need a boost Sammy. How bad does it hurt right now?"

Sam frowned then realized what he meant. "Like hell." He shouted back.

"How badly do you wanna get out of this freakin' place?"

"So bad I can taste it." He responded as Nitro howled.

Dean sighed and his breath came out in a white mist. "Can I do this?"

"You're the only one who can Dean."

He turned and blew into his hands again. "Well ok then." Walking back to the trunk he looked at it. "C'mon baby, let Daddy in."

Going back to his previous position he tensed his arms again and pulled with all he had as he pictured Bonnie in his minds' eye, he needed to be with her and his baby like he needed oxygen and it was last piece of the jigsaw for him. The yell came from deep within him as his ears registered the crunch and the trunk magically sprung open.

He wasted no time in piling his arms with everything he needed as he went back to the rear door and pulled it open with a clawed hand. He threw some books at Sam as he tried to shield him from the worst of the wind by blocking the gap with his body.

"Good job." Sam smiled.

"Whatever. If you think I'm gonna let you just lie here doin' nothing while I become infertile out here then you're wrong."

"What do you need me to do?"

"Start readin' Sammy and find a way to start this freakin' engine."

"You want me to find a spell to start a car, are you serious?"

"For once, yeah."

"Dude, these books were written before engines were invented."

"You're meant to be a genius right? Use your imagination." He answered as he slammed the door home with his foot and grabbed the shovel.

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Steve stood in the shallow hole panting heavily. He looked around him nervously and pulled out his phone, Johnny picked up on the first ring.

"Where are you?"

"In a hole."

"How far did you dig?"

"A foot maybe?"

"It's been an hour!"

"I'm not Dean ok? I can't just shovel frozen soil like a mechanical digger!"

"I'm sorry, I know. You need to get a rhythm going."

"Last time you said that it hurt, something tells me this is going to be similar."

"Don't give me any sauce hunter. Ok, you want to know something?"

"What, are you pregnant?" Steve laughed at his joke.

"Shut up, I'm trying to motivate you here."

"Ok."

"I got two kids here busting their asses to prove themselves and you're the only person who can help them right now. So you're going to grab that shovel and you're going to dig because lives are depending on you."

"Shit."

"Steve, we laugh about this job and we bitch about it but this is the real deal and people could die tonight."

"I got it."

"One last thing."

Steve could feel his heart pound as he listened to his lover.

"I got rhythm, I got music, I got my corpse. Who could ask for anythin' more?" He sang the show tune enthusiastically.

Steve laughed as he hung up the phone and began to dig with renewed vigour.

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Audrey hung back quietly in the shadows as she watched the last of the Panthers leave the locker room. They couldn't see her but even if she was stood right in front of them she doubted they would notice her anyway.

Wade Jackson turned and walked backwards for a second as he joked with a team mate. She read his lips and her heart began to race as she glanced at the locker room door. She waited until they had gone and edged towards the locker room opening the door and peeking around it. The place was empty thankfully so she went in closing the door silently behind her.

She might not have been able to hear anything but her other senses were on full alert. Over the odour of sweaty socks and testosterone she could detect the unmistakable coppery smell of blood. That lit a fire under her as she walked through the steam emerging from the shower room and wafted a hand in front of her to see Cole lying face down and naked on the tiles as his diluted blood ran in rivers towards the drain.

She ran to his side and turned him over ignoring his nudity as she laid his head in her lap brushing the hair from his face. His right eye was swollen shut and his lips were split and swollen but he was still breathing. She could see that his knuckles were grazed and was glad he had at least gotten the chance to defend himself.

If she spoke she wouldn't know if he could hear her so she curled her right index finger and twisted the joint into the hollow of his sternum. His body reacted instantly as he kicked his legs and exhaled heavily. She let him go and he rolled onto his side coughing water up over her as she kept her hands clear. He touched his face and she saw pure fury in it for the first time; it scared and excited her in equal measure.

He looked up at her with his one good eye. "Have they all left?"

She frowned and shrugged because his lips were barely moving.

He shook his head and went to get up. Taking his arm Audrey brought him to his feet and looped it over her shoulder as she helped him limp back to his locker.

Cole wasn't really in that much pain and he knew that the cuts would heal quickly but he was slow on his feet and needed to speak to his sister. He grabbed the jeans out of his locker and sat down heavily but kept his arm around Audrey as he laid the denim fabric in his lap and retrieved his cell phone from the pocket tapping redial.

It went straight to voicemail.

'This is me, if you're hot,horny and French then leave a message. If you're a total twat then you have no Hope.' Beeeeeeeeep

He struggled to speak. "It's Cole, the guys jumped me in the showers and I lost Jackson. I'm ok but just keep your eyes out and be careful. I'm gonna go find him…he has to be the next hit."

He hung up and dialled his Uncle's number.

"Speak!" Johnny commanded when he answered.

"Hey, we got the bones yet?"

"You ok, you sound weird?"

"Fine."

"Maybe another hour on the bones."

"You're kidding? Who's doing the digging...Jerry Lewis? Ok, thanks Ninj, I'll be in touch."

"You sure…."

His Uncle's words were cut off when Cole hung up as he took a deep breath and finally let Audrey go. Cole turned to her touching his fingertips to his chin before extending them out to her. "Thank you."

She smiled and signed back. You saved me first.

Do you have a car?

She nodded.

Can you give me a ride?

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Dean could no longer feel any of his extremities, he was covered in snow and had blisters the size of moon craters on his hands but he shouted with pure glee as he heard the engine start. He started to sing the theme tune of the A-Team loudly in the confines of the car as he gunned it and the chained tires started to move.

He finally stopped and looked over his shoulder at his brother. "I knew you could do it, Dude you're MacGuyver!"

"Of all the things we have ever done Dean I think this is the weirdest!"

"How did you do it by the way?"

Sam sighed. "Take your hands off the wheel."

"What?!" He asked as he finally picked up speed.

"Trust me."

Dean raised his eyebrows and tentatively lifted his hands from the steering wheel. "What the….?"

"I know."

"She's driving herself?"

"Don't get excited, she's only getting us to Anchorage then she's done."

"You didn't hurt her did you? Sam?!"

He laughed and dropped his last book into the footwell next to him. "It's a combination of conjurations Dean. I gave your car a mind of her own."

"Say again?" he touched the wheel and his hands jumped back as it moved without him.

"It's sort of like invoking a spirit only instead of possessing one of us, it possessed the Impala."

"Is this spirit a good driver?"

"It's not like I can check the license and registration Dean."

"I hope you're right about this."

The heater suddenly turned on without him touching anything and the fan moved in Dean's direction as he felt warm air wash over him.

"I think she likes you." Sam laughed.

Dean smiled as he caressed the dashboard. "Screw the A-Team, I'm Michael Knight!"

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When Cole got to Applebees he could see the entire team inside as Audrey pulled up her wrecked car outside. As he went to get out she grabbed his sleeve.

Are you sure about this?

He looked at her and then back at the jocks, it wasn't just about the spirit any more or saving Jackson. Cole knew that he was saving himself too. He was done with being an outsider and feeling inferior to anyone, he wanted and needed to feel a part of something whether it was football or his family.

He looked at the girl next to him. Most people would glance at her and lose interest straight away but not him, they were the same and he understood how she felt living her life on the perimeter looking in at everyone else.

"I'm sure." He answered.

She looked slightly scared that he wanted a big showdown but he didn't. All he wanted to do was to keep an eye on Wade for the next hour and wait for the phone call that would tell him this hunt was over.

"C'mon. Let me buy you dinner." He told her as he got out of the car and stepped into the rain.

Cole had nothing to prove any more and he wasn't there to measure dicks but he could almost sense Audrey's reluctance as they walked in and everything stopped dead. It was like a wave of silence hit the room as he paused in the doorway of the diner. Audrey reached for his hand and he wrapped his fingers through hers protectively as everyone stared at his battered face and the players suddenly looked scared that he had come to bust them.

With his head held high he moved silently to a vacant booth and waited for Audrey to take her seat before he scanned the room silently once more and sat down facing the team.

The noise gradually returned to normal volume and no one dare ask what had happened to him as he picked up the menu and placed their order.

You should go to a Doctor. Audrey told him with her hands as the people at the next table stared until she curled her fingers into self-conscious fists.

Cole reached across and opened them back up again stroking her palms. "Don't let them get to you."

Audrey straightened her back and looked at him. She wanted to say something but he kept a firm hold of her hands so that she had to speak which was something she never did in public. "Why aren't you mad?"

"I am mad…really mad." He shrugged. "I figure that it's better to rise above it rather than to take a gun to school and shoot the place up."

"It's easy for you." She looked again at the next table. "You're good-looking and talented."

"And look how popular that made me." He tried to smile as he gestured at his face. "Shaun was the most popular guy in school right? Soon as I came along everyone forgot about him pretty much. Audrey, it's better to have one fan that really cares than a million who only love you when you're on the up."

"You should write a self-help book." She laughed.

"Yeah I'm just full of helpful platitudes, I'll get right on that." He huffed as he saw Jackson leave his table and head for the bathroom. He couldn't let him out of his sight but if he followed him he could risk the rest of the team thinking he was going for revenge. He looked around the table and grabbed the salt shaker flipping it up in the air and catching it. "I'll be back in a second." Standing up Cole walked back outside into the rain and jogged around the building.

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Steve was covered in dirt and seriously in need of a weekend spa treatment as he finally fell to his knees on Pete Kennedy's coffin. Bobby had warned him the man had died over a decade ago and he was crapping himself. He grabbed his cell phone and hit the button.

"Did you do it?" Johnny didn't stand on ceremony.

"I'm scared."

"Is he there?"

"Who?"

"The spirit!"

"No but I'm sat on his coffin."

"Oh, ok." He sighed. "I'm not going to lie to you Steve, it's not going to be pretty…I remember my first she was a real rotbag."

"Focus!"

"Right, you have the salt and lighter fuel?"

"Yeah." He answered breathlessly.

"Ok, you're going to have to open that baby up. Stick the shovel under the rim and that's it."

"I'm putting the phone down now." He said nervously. "Will you stay on the line?"

"Sure, you can do this but you have to be quick and for God's sake, remember to get out of the grave before you set fire to it."

That hadn't occurred to Steve but he wouldn't admit it. "I'm not stupid. Hang on."

He set the phone down and faced the casket like it was a band aid that he had to rip off quickly. He placed the spade on the outside of it and pulled. It was easier than he thought as the cheap government wood splintered and gave with little effort. "Fucking war." He muttered as he flipped open the lid and pressed a hand to his nose. "God!"

He scrambled out of the muddy hole and rolled onto his back hearing Johnny's distant voice calling his name. He got up onto his knees and vomited before picking the phone back up.

"It's open." He said as he wiped his mouth.

"Good girl. Now burn him."

"This seems wrong, he's just a really ugly kid in a uniform."

Johnny took a breath. "Listen to me, that's not Pete Kennedy, you have to put all those thoughts to one side and burn him. NOW!"

Steve picked up the salt. "Ok."

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Cole felt like a total spaz as he sneaked up to the window of the men's toilet at the back of the diner. There were some awesome aspects to this job but this wasn't one of them as he discreetly watched Wade Jackson hit the head from outside in the rain. "Goddamn." He whispered to himself.

He hated having to protect someone who was such an almighty bastard but he knew it was what his Dad would do. He considered their different attitudes and how Dean just took on the job, did it and then left. Cole couldn't accept the fact that he could just kill the spirit and leave town because the whole reason that it was there in the first place was because Dillon had a problem.

A town that made children into icons was leaving itself open to demonic possession and all sorts of supernatural curses as the kids struggled with their over-inflated egos. Something had to give and they needed to realize that they couldn't treat each generation like fresh recruits into this mad cult of theirs.

He was forced into action when he saw Pete appear out of thin air behind QB 2. Cole sighed and smashed the window with his elbow and cleared the glass away quickly.

Jackson looked at him in shock as he boosted himself onto the window ledge and shouted. "Get down!"

"Screw you!" He answered back with his piece still in his hands.

"Don't look behind you then." Cole said with a smile wanting to make him suffer just a little as he climbed over the shattered glass.

Wade spun around scattering piss all over the floor as the man in uniform descended on him.

"What the…?" He stared wide eyed. If he wasn't already peeing then he would have done anyway.

"You killed my sister you arrogant prick."

"Huh?"

Cole jumped into the room but paused with the salt shaker in his hand. Something told him that the spirit had to say his bit before he could truly be laid to rest.

"You didn't mean to kill her, I get that."

"Who are you?" He whispered as tears ran down his face.

"Amber Kennedy, you remember her?" He smiled. "No one else seems to. You just got off scott free and carried on like her life meant nothing!"

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"

"People like you don't know what that means, but I'll show you."

Cole knew it was his cue to step in but before he had the chance to throw the salt Pete Kennedy erupted in a fury of flames in front of them.

Wade Jackson fell back into the urinal with a splash as he covered his face against the blast.

When it finally died down Cole was stood watching him casually leaning against the wall.

"What the hell was that?!" Wade shouted as he struggled to get out of the pool of urine.

"What was what?" Cole shrugged.

"That thing?!"

"Dude, I have no idea what you're talking about but that's a good look for you, I like it." Cole put the salt shaker in his jacket pocket and walked out of the bathroom and back to Audrey.

xxxxxx

"Are you sure this is ok?" It was tough to talk to Audrey whilst she was driving but she got it and nodded as she pulled her car up by the kerb in front of an exhausted and muddy Hope. She was stood next to his truck in the hospital lot and frowned when he drove up. He had told her everything on the phone but she still couldn't believe his face when she saw it.

"I'm gonna kill those bastards!" She said as he opened the door.

"Don't get all she-devil on me, I can look after myself."

She pointed at the hospital. "So why isn't the ER filled with Jocks right now?!"

"Violence isn't always the answer."

"So what? You wanna hug the world to death?!"

He shrugged. "Yeah, maybe. This is Audrey…the girl I told you about."

Hope tried to control her temper and bent down to look inside the car. "I'm no good at sign yet but you read lips right?"

Audrey looked slightly intimidated as she nodded.

"Well I have awesome lips so read away. You rock Audrey…anything you need, you got it alright?" Hope smiled at her kindly before she stood back up. "I don't know about you bro but I need to crash, this hunting game is a bitch!"

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OK guys, I am my own worst enemy as these chaps get longer and longer. I'm cutting it here as it's the appropriate place. The next one is all about the reunion… as Michael Knight, Kitt and Sammy the gimp finally get home!! Hurrah!!!!

I have the reunion of all reunions planned...tissues at the ready girls because Dean's pulling out all the stops here and Sam? Hell, he's just going to be as you want him...gimptastic and horny as hell!!!! I'm a genius