Friends from the past Chapter 5, a twilight fanfic

Last time…

"It's Justin Aarons." Carlisle murmured softly. My breath hitched in my throat. "He was shot. They brought him here. A drive by. Punctured the left coronary artery. We did everything we could to save him. I'm sorry Bella." With that my world turned black.

When I finally awoke from my sleeping spell I was laying in a hospital bed. The florescent lights shined brightly and made me wince in pain. Why am I here? What happened? Suddenly the memory of why I fainted rushed back into my brain.

Wild sobs escaped my tender lips. Why Justin! Why! My heart throbbed in my ribcage. Why! Tears fell from my face onto my lap. The love of my life. Dead. How could this happen? I wish it was me who was shot instead. I was now blubbering in the hospital bed. I need to get out of here. Quickly moving I raced out of the room and into the lobby of level eight. My eyesight was blurred from my tears. My soul felt lifeless. Empty. Useless. Hastily I ran to the elevators. I managed to get to the ground lobby. Trying to keep the sobs away I ran outside. The rain was pouring down. Hard. Immediately I was drenched. Bringing my fingers to my mouth I whistled for a cab. A yellow taxi screeched to a stop on the edge of the curb. I jumped in the backseat. I told the driver the address of the hotel and he sped towards it. My heart was aching. This is the worse thing that has happened in my life. The car halted and I tossed him the money. I quickly made my way up to our floor. The door was unlocked when I reached it. I fumbled inside and landed on my knees. Grace and Emma raced over to me. "Bella! I'm so sorry!" Grace sobbed on my shoulder. Emma sobbed onto my other shoulder. Eventually we fell into a slumber.

I was the last to wake up. I felt numb. Like my heart was ripped from my body. I clambered off of the carpet and to one of the couches. Do the kids know? I heard Alice and Anthony's small feet coming from the bedroom. Anthony ran to me.

"Mommy! We can't find Daddy! Where is he?" Anthony said, panicked. My heart wrenched even more. The pain is excruciating. Alice joins Anthony. They both sit on my lap. I took a deep breath. How should I go about explaining this to them?

"Daddy is with Jesus. He went to Heaven. He is now walking the golden streets. He won't be able to visit us anymore. But he is always with us. In our hearts." They both start to cry, scream, and sob uncontrollably. My heart snaps into a thousand pieces. I held them tightly to me, rocking back and forth. I don't know how to soothe them. I whisper their favorite lullaby. "Sleep my dear child. For you have no fright. The angels will watch over you and keep you with me tonight." Their sobs become silent and they shake with sadness. I don't know what to do. The sadness will not ease away soon. "Don't cry dear children of mine. Daddy is in a better place. Okay?" I whispered soothingly to them. They nod, tiredly. My heart is literally broken. I carry one in each arm and take them to their bed. I covered them with the deep satin sheets and kiss their foreheads. "Take a nap. I love you. Forever and ever." I shut the door behind me as I exit their room. Mark, Emma, and Grace were out getting McDonald's for breakfast. Janice and John were sleeping. Ayden was leaning against the armrest of a chair. Ayden's face was tearstained. He lost his best friend. Quickly, I hugged him tightly. Sobs escaped my bruised lips. My salty tears wet his polo shirt. He shook with sobs. My heart beat was frantic. There are no words for how lonely I feel right now. I feel like my world is crashed. It's gone. My life has been sucked out of me. I don't have the want to continue living. Ayden softly stroked my hair. The world is crashing down.

Day of the funeral

Almost immediately, we left Chicago and came back to Arizona. Carlisle suggested that we burry him in Forks. I turned the idea down. They said they would try and be at the funeral if it was cloudy. They might be standing in the shadows. My numbness has not stopped. My heart is no longer in my chest. This is even worse than when Edward left me. Because, when he left, I knew he was still alive. But Justin will never come back. I've been waking up screaming every night since he died. I could see the hurt in my children's eyes. I glanced at the clock on the microwave. In neon green numbers it blinked 5:01. Time to start getting ready. A bunch of relatives are at my house. Grandma Marie, Grandpa George, Charlie, Mom, Phil, Eliza, Jake, The entire La Push werewolf pack and imprints, Aunt Pattie, Aunt Sara, Uncle Bert, Uncle Casey, and more. I clambered over bodies on the floor towards my bathroom. I turned the hot water on and slipped inside. The hot water did not relax my muscles. I had been set to plan all the crap with the funeral. The Paul bears are Ayden, Mark, Jake, Charlie, and Kyle, Justin's half brother. He found that out a year after his parents died. I sighed and got out of the shower. The air in the bathroom was warm and cozy but my heart felt silent and numb. A wave of nausea passed through my system. I had been feeling sick all this week and last week. I blow dried my hair and spiral curled it. The curls fell in perfect straight curls on my back. I did light makeup. Waterproof mascara of course. I pulled on my black spaghetti strap black dress. It fell right below my knees. I put on my black stilettos and my white cropped jacket. Looking up at my reflection, I gaped. My eyes. Instead of the dense and vivid brown I received a dull, grey brown. Downheartedly, I exit the bathroom. Everyone is awake and zipping around getting ready. They are all in black. Obviously. Janice, John, Anthony, and Alice are sitting on the couch next to Eliza and Louis. Their faces are already tear stricken. My heart again clenched at the sight. It is now 7:30 am. The funeral is at eight thirty. Grace hugged me tightly to her small frame. I pat her back gently. "Let's get going. Now." My voice is empty and lifeless. Most eyes widen at hearing it this way. I cannot help it. We get inside the van. I speed towards the funeral home. The sky is a sorrowful grey color. The streets are empty. Just like my eyes. I pulled to a stop at the funeral home. Others pull in and park behind me. We all go into the service room. I sat in the front row with Grace, Emma, Mark, Kyle, Ayden, and the kids. The preacher starts the ceremony. I listen intently to the songs I chose.

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
Ill be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

Tears rolled down my face in absolute sorrow. The preacher sighed and continued. My head was still focused on the songs playing.

Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

Seen that ray of light
And it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I wont be afraid
To follow everywhere it's taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
To this moment to my dreams

It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even when it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That someone's watching over
Someone's watching over
Someone's watching over me

Someone's watching over me

Tears were in all of our eyes. Even the preachers. One more song till we walk to bury my lovely husband.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Coz your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I tried so hard to tell myself that your gone,
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me, me

I was the loudest with the sobs. Everyone started walking up to say goodbye. I was fifth in line. Grace and Emma behind me. The line moved fast and soon as I knew it, it was my turn to approach the casket. Slowly, my heart thudded in my ears. I walked up to him. His face was pale white. Not the beautiful tan that I love. His lips were chapped and dry. His gorgeous blue eyes were hidden from me forever. His normal spiked brown hair was dull and flat against his face. He was in a black tux. Our wedding tux. My bottom lip started to quiver. Slowly, I placed my warm hand on his icy cheek. Tears fell out of my eyes and onto my cheeks. "Oh Justin," That is when I lost it. I collapsed on his chest in hysteric sobs. "Why Justin why? I thought we were suppose to be together forever. How am I going to raise two kids alone? Justin, why did you leave me. I need you. I love you. Please. Come back to me!" I drenched his cold, dead, body with my tears. Everyone stood back, letting me get this out. "Justin, you are the best man I'll ever meet. Why. Why? Why? Why? Why?" I was screaming now.

"Bella," I heard a familiar voice speak softly. I glanced over and through teary eyes I could make out Alice Cullen. She looked older. I turned away from her and back to Justin.

"I love you. Forever and always." I gently pressed my lips to his. It felt wrong since his lips would never hold the same warmth that they once did. I backed away from his slowly and collapsed in Alice's arms.

Songs used!!

Because you loved me- Celine Dion

Someone's watching over me- Hilary Duff

My Immortal-Evanescene