Oh gals…ladies night at Hard Rock was like the Mulodvian massacre on Dynasty! (Anyone remember?) Hahaha spent an entire day in bed afterwards watching Ten Inch Hero (who said Tampons can't be sexy?) and Twilight (GRRRR). I got constructive later on and got onto a trawler with a bunch of mad Russians (Vitali?) and attempted to snorkel although they were having a mild tsunami here and all the 'multi-colored fish and coral reefs' had gone home for the day. Ho hum…Still…at least I got to see a bunch of fat middle aged men in speedoes and fanny packs (The Covenant it wasn't).

And so we find out that Bonnie wasn't as insignificant as we thought; making it her full time job to worship Dean turned him into the Badass Daddio we know and love. You loved Logan and although he's not a hunter he may just be the baddest of all the Winchester men and also the hottest although I think if they manage to change things he will become more Army than Armani LOL. You'll be seeing more of Goliath Winchester in the future and I shall also let you meet Lily before the epic ends!
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"Tell me what you're thinking." Hope said to her brother

"I hate that question."

"Well I hate it when you go all Donnie Darko on me."

He glared at her. "Because I know there's something you're not telling me."

Logan had left and they had been sat in the truck for over an hour in almost total silence trying to reconcile what he had told them about his life with the people that they lived with now. "You think I'm lying to you?"

"No, I think you're omitting a key fact in this jigsaw puzzle which makes me uncomfortable." He knew her too well. "I'm not leaving here until I find out what it is."

Hope sighed dramatically. "Alright Columbo if you must know in order to bring Mom back…"

"What?" His tone was sharp.

"I have to die." She said as nonchalantly as she could. "But only a little bit." She added as though it made everything ok.

Cole said nothing for a full minute and then got out of the truck, stood for a second and then started to kick at the front wheel yelling angrily at nothing as Hope got rocked about inside the cab. She checked her watch and waited for him to get it out of his system and return.

It took a couple of minutes for Cole to regain his composure before he opened the door and climbed back in.

"You done?"

"Only just getting warmed up." He gripped the wheel fiercely and stared at her. "It's like saying you're a little bit pregnant: you're either dead or you're not."

"No…I'll just be like one of those drowning victims you can bring back."

"Yeah, cos I do that every day."

"You're just gonna find fault with everything I suggest aren't you?"

"You're suggesting suicide!" He shouted suddenly making her flinch.

"Call it euthanasia if it makes you feel more comfortable, but I'm coming back and I'm bringing Mom with me."

"This isn't a movie Hope; you could really die and it's crazy, even for you."

"I wish you believed in me half as much as Logan." She muttered.

"This isn't about whether I believe in you or not…this is about me letting you wilfully disobey the laws of nature."

"Since when do you care?" She answered back. "I'm doing this whether you help me or not."

"But you've made me an accomplice just by telling me." He was angry again and it was something that rarely happened.

"Just turn a blind eye."

"Do you realize what you're asking me to do?"

"Yes." She told him.

"Hope, I lost my girlfriend and my mother in the space of months and now you're asking me to help you die?" Cole was getting choked and she took his hand. "What if I can't bring you back? How can I even break the news to Dad and the others that I knowingly let you sacrifice yourself?"

"I know but you heard what Logan said, if we don't do this Dad's going to be gone in a few months. We don't have a choice."

"Parents are meant to die before their kids if it can be done then Dad can go get her, he would want to."

She shook her head. "Dad's good at crashing but even he can't get on that guest list. It's me or nothing and if something goes wrong Logan can get me to the best ER in the world in seconds."
She could tell she was winning him over. "I need you on side bro I don't want to do this without you."

"How are you going to die?" He asked quietly.

"I figured I'd tell Dad what I'm planning and let him kill me." She laughed nervously at the look he gave her. "Bad joke, I'm sorry."

"At least take it seriously."

"We'll do it with drugs…stop my heart, keep me on ice and when it's done a bit of good old CPR or defibrillator action should do the trick."

"I hate you sometimes." He snarled out of the windscreen.

"I know, look I got Dad out of a wormhole without using Logan's mojo so I figure it's not much different."

"It's different. So what then, I mean once her soul's back?"

"We go shopping." She smiled.

"Huh?"

"For Mom's new body…Logan's got it covered."

"Jesus Christ."

"Ssh…he might hear you, don't get in his bad books, I might need him." She said looking around her furtively. "Oh c'mon that's worth a smile at least."

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"You asked for my help so I'm helpin'." Dean smiled at his brother as he leaned against the banister with his arms crossed.

"Couldn't we start with something gentler…K2 maybe?" Sam rolled his eyes.

"You wanted a kick up the ass so that's what I'm giving you. Climb the stairs Sammy!"

"You're a heartless bastard."

"You used to always do stuff for yourself, when did you suddenly turn into a gimp?"

"I'm not as young as I used to be." He said defensively.

"Spare me the Dorian Gray bullshit Sammy you're barely in your forties, I can wait here all day but I don't know whether your bladder can so hustle."

Sam growled and swung out of his chair onto the second step. "You know how long this is gonna take?" He asked pulling on his jeans to get his unresponsive legs to follow the quest.

"Woulda taken the old Sam a coupla minutes…you're just…"

"I'm what?!"

"Indifferent."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Alright then Chuck Norris…if I'm doing this, I'm not doing it alone…drop and start pressing!"

"I'll see that tricep and raise you a bicep." Dean narrowed his eyes and fell face first towards the bottom step. Before he could hit it he braced his hands on the edge and started doing push ups. "I'll race you."

Sam glared at him and moved up one more step, his triceps were weak and he hated it. "Ok, I bet I can make it to the top before you hit two hundred."

"Already on fifty dude, best move your ass." Dean panted.

"No you're not! Count out loud."

"Twenty one…" Dean scowled at his laughing face as Sam started to head up the stairs on his ass. "What's the bet?" Dean was getting out of breath already but could feel the endorphins in his brain kicking in and knew he would be ok.

"If I make it up here first then you have to carry me back down."

"So either way I win then gimp boy?"

"You bastard." Sam grunted as he started to increase his speed.

"Awww Sammy…seventy five!" He shouted with a laugh. "Tell ya what…" He panted between counts. "You get up there first then I won't tell Brooke that I know…"

Sam paused. "That's just plain mean…ok…if you get to two hundred first then…" As he pushed upwards with his arms he tried desperately to think of some dirt he had on his brother. He couldn't think of anything…."OK I got it."

Dean was still panting and felt an uncharacteristic burning in his arms. "Go on…"

"If I win…then you have to customize the Implala."

Dean stopped dead, arms stretched and poised. "What?!"

Sam saw him stop and gained two steps. "So I can drive it."

Dean was still in shock that he would even suggest it as Sam carried on moving. "You wanna turn my baby into a spaz chariot?"

Sam was over the landing and laughing even as he sweated. He grabbed the handrail and pulled himself around the corner. "You're the most politically incorrect person ever Dean yet sooooo easy to manipulate."

Dean growled as he realized he was being played and started counting again as his arms pumped on the bottom step. "One Sixty three….sixty four…"

"I'm almost there man!" Sam shouted happily.

"I hate you!" He grunted.

Sam laughed harder as he reached the top. "Done and done!"

Dean knelt on the bottom step a second and couldn't believe that he was out of breath. "You're a sonofabitch!" He shouted up the stairs as he collapsed onto them.

Brooke emerged from the bathroom holding Lily in a towel and was surprised to see Sam sat on the top step. "You ok there hubby?"

"Yeah, just trying to get one over on Dean." He wiped his sweaty brow as he collapsed back onto the hard wood floor.

"Real mature babe." She replied as she saw the state he was in.

Sam shrugged as Dean's deep voice travelled up the stairs. "At least I didn't tell Brooke about the stripper!"

Sam's jaw clenched and he cursed his brother's big mouth yet again.

"Stripper?" Brooke asked her husband.

"She heard that didn't she?" Dean asked.

Brooke poked her head over the balcony and stared down at him. "Here Dean, now!"

Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed Sam's chair in one hand jogging up the stairs. "When I say stripper…I meant paint stripper…he almost gassed himself on it once and it was ugly." Dean desperately tried to cover his tracks.

"You're about as convincing as an Amish hooker." Brooke told him.

Dean smirked uncomfortably as Brooke shifted the baby on her hip and stared at him waiting for an answer.

"Sam?" He asked.

"You've got a big mouth Dude. He's talking about my bachelor party." He explained to his wife.

"You didn't have one." Brooke said.

Dean whistled. "That's what you think."

"Dean!" Sam was still sat on the top step with his wife staring down at him. He shrugged and caved. "Just a few of the guys….it was years ago…"

"Why wouldn't you talk about it?" She stared at Dean who scratched his neck nervously. "What happened that I should know about?"

There was a long silence for a minute as Brooke thought the worst and Sam just scowled at his brother.

Dean got indignant. "Ya know…you chicks tell each other everythin' so I don't even feel bad about this!"

"About what?" Brooke asked.

Dean raised his eyebrows at her and with a barely imperceptible flick of the wrist he unbuckled his belt and held it in both hands making a snapping sound. Brooke flushed furiously. "Sam?!"

"I didn't do anything!"

"No it was Johnny who did the demonstration with the stripper…who was a guy by the way, way to go on your choice of event organiser Sammy!"

"Oh god." Brooke covered her eyes. "Does everyone know about the belt?"

Dean tried not to laugh as he looked at her. "I may have sent a couple of mail shots out to various rehab facilities. It's an ingenius trick…you should consider bringing out a DVD, we'd rake it in."

Brooke escaped down the stairs with Lily. "You have a sickness Dean!" She shouted behind her.

"C'mon!" Dean shouted back as Sam glared at him. "It's sado-masochistic gimp porn and that's always funny!" He looked down at his brother again. "What?! She loves me really."

"Dean just don't do that."

"What?"

Sam didn't want to upset his brother but he was also pissed off. "She makes me feel good about myself."

Dean sighed. "I have a vague recollection of how that feels… Alright, I'm sorry."

Sam shook his head in exasperation. "Ok what now?"

"While you go to the bathroom I'm gonna go start building you a gym."

"Don't do that man, you suck at that stuff."

"Dude, I'm an awesome builder and everythin' comes with the Winchester Guarantee."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Dare I ask?"

Dean grinned. "Satisfaction with every erection or your money back."

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Cole and Hope kept a low profile for the rest of the day only returning home in the early hours when they were sure Dylan would be in bed. They felt bad about avoiding him but he would know something was wrong right away which was a risk that they couldn't take.

Hope had known that Luc was angry at her from the constant messages he left on her phone, she couldn't bear going through the explanations yet again but was still shocked he wasn't there when she got home. She found a note on her pillow and opened it up.

When you decide to grow up and talk to me then I'll come home.

Hope sat on the bed and rubbed at her tired eyes knowing that she should call him and put things straight. She decided to wait until morning though and give him time to simmer down. She knew she was being unreasonable and selfish but at the same time she wanted to focus on getting her mom and family back before she worried about her own love life. Standing up she removed her boots and clothes climbing into bed in her underwear.

Sleep came surprisingly quickly and Hope dreamed of being in a cold dark Universe where her family no longer existed and she was all alone facing judgement. Fear was relative; most people would think that what the Winchesters faced on a daily basis were the scariest things in the world but to them the only real fear was of being alone. To be without the amazing support system they had built to face the unknown alone would be their idea of hell. As she walked through the darkness she called out for her mother and could hear Bonnie screaming her father's name over and over again.
No matter how hard Hope looked she couldn't find her and started to panic as time passed and she realized that the longer she searched the harder it would be for her to get back. She was yelling for her mother her voice growing louder and louder as tears streamed down her face when she knew that it was over and she would never be able to return to her family.

Suddenly strong arms were yanking her back from purgatory as her Dad came to the rescue pulling her away from the darkness and back into the light. She grabbed hold of him tightly and held on for dear life as his deep voice gradually broke through the mist and reached her.

"Hey, it's ok…I'm here." Dean said as he pulled her onto his lap like she was five again and rocked her gently. He looked up at Cole in the doorway and frowned at his expression. "She had a bad dream…can you go tell Sam she's ok, he'll be worried."

Cole paused a second longer and something like anger crossed over his face which Dean thought was strange. He didn't dwell on it as he comforted his daughter for the first time in years. It was selfish but part of him was glad that the Frenchman had taken the night off and Dean hadn't had to sit in his room letting Luc allay her fears. Hearing her scream for her mother like that had scared the crap out of him, he could imagine it being any one of them but her. Hope had dealt with the bereavement better than all of them combined but now he realized that maybe he was just kidding himself as he kissed the top of her head and brushed the hair from her wet face.
"You want to tell me about it?"

Hope shook her head vigorously and buried her face deeper into his shoulder for once enjoyed the feeling of being a girl. Sometimes she felt too old and would love to turn back the clock and be little again when she still thought Dean was invincible and that her mother would be around forever.

"Ya know I dream about her all the time." Dean said gently after a minute.

That made her sit up and she looked at him wide eyed unable to imagine that a person like her Dad could dream like normal people. "You do?"

"Nearly every night." He smiled with tears in his eyes. "Sometimes I can't wait to go to sleep so that I can see her again, it helps…it's like she's still around."

"What happens in the dream?"

Dean shrugged. "Depends on the day I had but usually we just talk about you guys and how Logan's doin', other times...."

"Ewww, spare me." Hope laughed. "Is she happy when you see her?"

"We were always happy when we were together; I couldn't think of her being any other way, could you?"

"No." She answered quietly feeling ashamed of the lie. "Thanks Dad."

"What for?"

Hope shrugged and kissed his cheek not daring to imagine losing him too. "Promise you'll never leave us."

Dean's eyebrows shot up and he twirled her mother's gold bracelet on her wrist with a sigh. There wasn't a second that went by that he didn't think of checking out for good as the responsibility built up but he kept thinking of his kids and brother and what they meant to him and that got him through. "I love you kid." He said simply knowing he would never make a promise he couldn't keep.

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Dylan was wide awake yet quiet as he lay between his parents listening to them breathing softly. The screams had woken them all and whilst they had been concerned he hadn't been. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep and so crept quietly from the bed and padded silently up the stairs to Hope's room. Dean had left but Cole was now sleeping beside her like an obedient guard dog.

Dylan stood in the doorway barely breathing as he watched them both and invaded their minds with little effort. A small smile crept onto his face at what he saw there and it stretched his skin like his facial muscles had atrophied through lack of use. He felt the first ray of light emerge in the mass of darkness that was his mind and he thanked God for his ingenius and brave cousins.

Leaving the room he ran back down to the kitchen and spent the rest of the night trawling through Bobby's old books trying to find out all he could about a place called purgatory.

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The next morning Hope woke up feeling like she had a hangover. Memories of the nightmare filled her head interspersed with thoughts of Luc and having to smooth things over with him too. She felt old and the weight of her name and the responsibility that came with it hung heavily around her like a dark cloud. She turned and saw Cole propped up against the pillows next to her. She nudged him lightly and he opened his eyes like he had just been dozing.

"C'mon bro, let's hear it." She wanted to get this over with.

"You can't do it." He said simply.

"It was just a bad dream."

"Since when do you have nightmares or doubts? You're scared and we both know it."

"No, I'm still seventeen and in a couple of days I'll be ready."

"I can't let you do this."

"You can't stop me." She sat up next to him and her jaw took on a determined set.

"I can tell Dad, he'll tie you up and hold you here 'til you're ready to draw pension."

"Tattle tail."

"It's not funny and you know it."

They were interrupted by the door opening. Hope was shocked to see Dylan walk in carrying two mugs of coffee he actually had a smile on his face which stunned Cole.

"Morning." He said handing them the drinks ignoring their looks.

"Hey Dylan, what tablets are you on today?" Cole nudged her and she almost spilled the coffee. "Hey!"

"I know what you're going to do." He said with a devious look as he sat on the end of the bed.

"What are we going to do?" Hope asked blowing on the liquid.

"Bring your mom back."

This is what they had most feared; Dylan had enough going on without being involved in this. There was no point in denying it though. "You didn't tell anyone did you?"

"I'm a kid but I'm not stupid. I can help you."

"No." Cole shook his head.

"The reason you had a bad dream is 'cos where you're going is a scary place."

"How do you know?" Hope put the coffee down.

"I have my sources, you need me on this."

"What do you know?" Cole ventured.

"Purgatory is where you go to have your sins purged if you haven't repented in life, does that sound like a place either of you wanna get lost in?"

"What sin has Mom committed?" Hope remembered Rita's earlier words and had to admit her Mother was pretty clear on the sin front.

"She used magic to keep her baby when he wasn't meant to stay, that's a sin."

Hope looked at Cole. "Dad and Sam did that though."

"You think they'll get off lightly?" He answered knowingly.

Cole couldn't believe how cool he was being. "Bringing her back has to be worse then surely?"

Dylan shrugged. "The way I see it it's a one shot deal…you get her out and we promise to spend our lives saving souls and not messing around then we'll get probation, that's what Ling says anyway."

Cole exhaled. "When did you find this out?"

"I had a sleepless night too, I may not know much about certain tongue stuff but this I can help you with."

"You're a kid you can't get involved."

"Logan's three months old and he's doing it."

"You know about that?!" Cole asked.

"We're the X-Men, we come as a team…so we have to keep our parents in the dark but it's worth it."

Hope stared at her brother and shrugged, they hadn't seen the little boy fired up about anything in ages and they knew that purgatory would be the least of their worries if Sam ever caught wind of his involvement but what choice did they have?

"Ok, but you're only in as an advisor…nothing more." Cole said sternly.

"Do I still get a cool jumpsuit?" He was suddenly a child again and they both groaned as they considered the implications of what they were doing.

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Sam heard the music blasting through from the kitchen and rolled over holding onto his wife. "Save me."

Brooke laughed and wrapped her arms around him as the Eye of the Tiger blared out. "I don't think anyone can save you from Dean." She answered as their door burst open.

"Up and at 'em Sammy!" Dean shouted as he deposited Logan in the crib with a startled looking Lily and clapped his hands together. "The sun's shining and there are stairs that won't climb themselves."

"God." Sam buried his head in Brooke's shoulder.

"Nope, just Dean." He said pulling back the sheets.

"Hey!" Brooke shouted. "I could be naked under here."

"Are you?"

"No."

"Pity…c'mon Sam!"

Sam couldn't argue with his brother, he had wanted to see him more lively and he was getting his wish, he just regretted the fact it was going to cause him so much pain. Brooke kissed him. "Just look forward to the massage later."

"OK, Drill Sergeant, I'm ready." He sighed getting out of bed sleepily.

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Sam was halfway up the stairs when Hope, Cole and Dylan ran past him in single file.

"Hey good going Unc." Cole slapped him on the back.

Hope sat for a second next to him. "Make Dad do one arm push ups on his left…he can't do it." She kissed him quickly and trotted down knowing they would be having a contest of some sort.

Sam looked up. "Woah, where are you going?" He caught Dylan by his waistband before he could make his escape.

"Field trip."

Sam narrowed his eyes. "Where?"

Dylan looked at his cousins. "He wants to go back to the Aquarium, we haven't been so we thought we could go with him." Cole said believably.

"Hope's going to the Aquarium?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, I heard they have Sperm Whales." She smirked.

"You think you're so cute."

"I know I am." She kissed her Dad quickly and grabbed her jacket as they all shot for the door.

As the door slammed shut behind them Dean screamed. "Bobby!!"

"What?!" He answered as he emerged from his room.

"You're the only person in this house who makes us feel young right now so stick around."

Bobby shrugged and sat down on the stairs. "Life's a bitch ain't it?"

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Logan looked down at Dylan and sighed heavily. "I wasn't expecting this."

"Expect the unexpected with us right?" Hope said. "He's ok…we've explained and he wants to help."

Logan knelt down yet still towered over him. "Hi Dyl."

Dylan stared at him and reached up with a finger to touch his face before pulling away. "Oooh."

"I know, it's a little weird, you're used to me being a baby."

"Yeah and you're a huge baby too."

Logan laughed. "Don't be scared…I'm a gentle giant. You wanna go on a little trip?"

"Yeah!"

"You know how important this is though?" Logan thought of the Dylan that he knew, the boy that was so disturbed by the images in his head he had to be sent away.

"I know I want Aunt Bonnie to come back."

"Ok." He looked up at Hope with a grimace.

"Hey, he reads minds; there was nothing we could do."

Logan picked Dylan up and got to his feet. "Ok, hold onto one another, when I open the portal it's gonna hurt for a minute then you'll feel dizzy. I've got Dylan so he's cool but you two need to make your own landing." He saw the look Cole gave him. "Roll into your shoulder cos you generally come out head first the first couple of times."

"Great!" Cole said sarcastically as Hope took his hand.

"It's not that bad." She reassured him hooking her fingers into Logan's waistband as he opened the wormhole and they all walked through.

The next thing that Cole saw was carpet as he flew through the hotel room and hit the bed with such force that Heather was thrown off it screaming. Hope landed on her feet gracefully and Logan kept hold of Dylan to give the little boy time to recover.

"You ok?" Logan grimaced as his wife got to her feet with a sigh.

"A little warning wouldn't go amiss sometimes hon."

"Hey, he's a virgin." Logan explained leaning down holding out a hand for his brother. "How was it for you?" He laughed.

"What a rush!" Cole made it to his feet. "Wow, that is so amazing!"

Logan shrugged his shoulder checking to see if Dylan was still with them. He saw the massive grin on his face and laughed again as he set him down on his feet. They had come to San Diego to get the famous vessel they needed for their plan but they still had so many questions.

"How did you find out you could do that?" Dylan was leaning backwards looking up at him so Logan sat on the edge of the bed to save him from getting whiplash.

"God the first time I travelled I wasn't much older than you are now…"

"What happened?" Cole still felt dizzy and took a seat facing him as Hope took a turn around the room and checked the view.

Logan never seemed to stop smiling and Cole loved that in the face of such adversity he seemed so upbeat. "The first time was an accident; Lily was about to get hit by a car…" He looked at Dylan and chose his words carefully not wanting to reveal anything about the future that would upset him. "She couldn't hear it of course and yelling was useless. I just saw it happening in slow motion and the next thing I know, Bam I was lying on the other side of the road with her in my arms."

"You must have freaked out."

"Nah, I was just too grateful she was ok."

"So you could just jump to the other side of the room if you wanted?"

"Pretty much anywhere." He shrugged modestly.

Hope opened the closet and fingered the expensive clothes hung up in their individual plastic wrappers. "Even a bank vault?"

Logan shook his head. "I could but I don't, people pay me a lot of money for my services though."

"Doing what?" Cole frowned.

"Industrial espionage mainly."

"Like James Bond?" Dylan was wide eyed.

Heather wrapped an arm around her husband's mammoth shoulders. "He does plenty of pro-bono stuff too."

"Ssh." He blushed.

"Like?" Hope turned.

"Lily has a thing about missing persons." He explained. "Ya know because of…"

Hope and Cole both knew it was because of what had happened to their father but tried to shield their thoughts from Dylan.

"So Lily finds them and Logan brings them home. They've saved a lot of kidnapped kids." She said with obvious pride.

"That's really cool." Cole felt a surge of similar pride. "Heather…aren't you worried that if we change stuff you guys won't meet?"

"Totally." She shuddered at the thought and Hope noticed she had the same look of blind devotion her mother and Brooke both shared. "But Logan's been to enough places to know that soul mates exist and if we're meant to be together then we'll find each other again."

"You have a lot of faith." Hope frowned not knowing if she believed in the concept of soul mates.

Logan could see that she was slightly out of the loop and refused to accept that Luc would lay down his life to make her happy. "I've seen it myself, no matter what we do or amend our inherent instincts and personalities can never change and that's what draws us to one another." He took his wife's hand and kissed it.

"So who am I meant to be with?" Cole asked with a laugh.

"And ruin the surprise? C'mon bro…"

"Am I stuck with Luc?" Hope asked with a small smile.

"I think it's the other way around sis…longest suffering man in history."

"That sounds about right." Cole laughed again and loved the way they could feel so related even though they barely knew one another.

"Ok." Logan slapped his thighs and stood up. "We should get this show on the road."

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"You were right." Sam laughed as he sat Logan down on his stomach and wiped the sweat from his face. "He's better than using weights."

Dean watched his son kick his legs and remembered a time when he had that same boundless energy. Sam picked him back up and raised him above his head working his biceps. The weather was nice so they were both lying on the grass outside enjoying the cool bright day as Dean took him through his paces. Although Brooke was the expert when it came to physio she was happy to let Dean take over knowing he wouldn't allow his brother to get hurt and that Sam needed his company sometimes more than oxygen.

Sam handed Logan back over to him and his arms collapsed back at his side. "I need a break."

Dean looked up as the door opened and Brooke came from the house carrying two plates, she passed one to Dean who left the sandwich on the grass and took the bottle of milk that she offered instead as Sam sat up leaning back on his hands. Logan grabbed the bottle and Dean watched Sam and Brooke furtively over the top of the baby's head.

Dean wasn't the type to spend a great deal of time watching other couples but he couldn't help himself now as he caught the silent way that Brooke moved around her husband. Without any fuss she hunkered down behind him and shuffled forwards letting him lean back against her freeing up his hands so he could eat. Sam said nothing as she ran a hand through his hair and kissed his neck gently. She had done it because she knew Sam couldn't sit up without resting back on something but the way she did it made it look more loving than practical. There was something so unconscious about the gesture that Dean couldn't tear his eyes away and suddenly felt like an intruder. The fact was they probably always acted like this but he had never noticed before because he had his own wife to care about him.

The realization hit Dean like a freight train that even if he met someone else tomorrow he would never again have that same bond that developed over years of living and raising children together. He would never again know what it felt like to have his very happiness so dependent on someone else's smile. He would never get a buzz from knowing that in his wife's eyes he could do no wrong and that even if Brad Pitt turned up naked and covered in chocolate sauce, she would always think Dean was the hottest man alive.
Dean wondered if he could carry on living with his brother when he felt this loss weigh him down and the jealousy of what Sam had eat away at him.

He suddenly needed to get very far away from the house and escape for a while, unable to breathe he felt the clawing fear of the unknown overwhelm him and he needed to get rid of it somehow. He put Logan down on the grass and the baby watched him for a second before he dropped his bottle and started to wail as his father suddenly started to walk away.

"Dean?!" Sam shouted after him. "Go find out what's wrong." He suddenly got scared as without a word Dean climbed into the Impala and sat for a second staring out of the windscreen.

Brooke jogged over. "Dean, what's wrong?"

Dean felt bad for running when it was so irrational but he didn't want anyone to watch him implode so with his vision misted by tears he gunned the engine and drove away without looking back.

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Oh Oh Dean's lost the plot again...where's he gone and what will happen in his absence? And yeah, I know Dean's hotter than Brad Pitt duh!