A/N: So, BOTH of my computers are infected right now...BUT THAT WILL NOT STOP ME FROM UPDATING! And I know I said I was on hiatus...But after playing career mode as Cody...Yeah. The FIRST match, I had to go against MIZ! WHAT THE HECK? And then the CRUISERWEIGHT Champion was CHRIS JERICHO. I so took that title from him...Then I got bored and started Jericho's road to Wrestlemania. Pick up that game. The soundtrack is bomb. (Note: This is how I hear The Brian Kendrick speaking. It's so Shakespearian. So...Sorry if it confuses anybody.)

Brian's POV

Maria just walked past. She looks like a leopard print hooker. How awkward.

"My, Maria, aren't you looking quite outlandish tonight," I sneered. I don't feel sorry for the tramp. I was in need of some fun, and she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or in my case, she was in the right place at the right time. She can be my plaything of the moment.

"Great, Brian. That's just great, especially coming from the guy who wears jackets that looked like a kindergarten student had a little too much fun with paste and paper," Maria retaliated. That poor, poor soul. Such petty comebacks are no match for The Brian Kendrick.

"Who dressed you this morning? The Queen of the Serengeti?"

"And let me guess, you looked in the mirror and thought you were the reincarnation of Kurt Cobain?"

Kurt Cobain? Please. "Kurt Cobain wishes he had the allure that The Brian Kendrick does, Maria. But really, now, you must tell me who dressed you this morning. I would like to hire them to style the freak show that I am planning for Ezekiel's birthday."

Maria put a mean face on. At least, I think it was her attempt at at mean face. She looked like a bulldog, and not an attractive one. On the other had, I've never seen and attractive bulldog. "Actually, Brian, it was your little girlfriend that put together my outfit. I designed the pieces, and she just styled it."

Girlfriend? I have a girlfriend? The Brian Kendrick settles down for no woman. They settle down for him. "Dearest Maria, I have no idea what on earth you are talking about, but no one ever seems to know what on earth you're talking about. I have no girlfriend, so who are you speaking of."

Almost right on cue, Miranda exited the Divas locker room, following Beth Phoenix, fixing her hair.

"Slow down, Beth. You're going to fast for me...I need to secure your headpiece..."

"Oh, sorry, Miranda," Beth said, stopping her fast tracking and bending down a bit so Miranda could reach her hair. Seriously, if that were to happen to me? I would have picked up that little tramp and threw her against the wall for not getting my hair right the first time.

Miranda's POV

Just look at him standing there with Maria. I bet he's inviting her to his hotel room tonight, and I get to be the lucky one to witness it.

"Gosh, I'm thirsty," Brian said. "Miranda, will you act like the dog you look like and fetch me a bottle of water?"

Maria did NOT just do that! She slapped him across the beautiful face and stormed off! What a bitch! No one hits Brian like that unless they want to die, and I'll be the personal executioner.

"What a dirty little cunt!" Brian said as he stomped his foot like an adorable child. I know it's immature, but come on, he's freaking The Brian Kendrick! "If Ezekiel was here, he'd fetch me a drink, but I gave him the night off to celebrate his birthday. Who will bring me my water?"

I dropped all the hair tools I held in my hand as I finished Beth's hair. The headpiece was secure enough. She'll live if it falls out. "I'll get it!" I offered, scurrying up to him as fast as my platform heels would allow me to.

"Oh, hello, Miranda. How convenient that you should make your presence known at the exact time that I proclaim myself to be thirsty. But could you hurry up? My limo will be here any moment to take me to my dancing lesson since I am not needed at this tri-branded show. How preposterous."

Oh, I got that damn water bottle, alright. And I almost broke my neck running in these damn things.

And now I'm starting to believe that I'm becoming more and more pathetic. If only I weren't so attached to these puppet strings he's put on me...