Disclaimer: I don't own YuGiOh! (sigh) although I can still pretend...And I don't own Papa Roach or the song "Forever"! You happy now?!
Warning: Mild sexual scene, shonen ai (Don't like, don't read! Don't say I didn't warn you!), drug use...JoeyxSeto.
Forever
"In the brightest hour,
Of my darkest days,
I realized what was wrong with me,"
Seto watched as Joey's deft, long fingers handled his possessions with care, packing them away. His cerulean eyes scanned Joey's expression, his eyes were shining, but no tears fell; his hair askew and unbrushed as always hung, slightly greasy in his face. It covered his expression slightly, but Seto always thought it was his perfection.
"Please don't, Joey."
Joey's lips tightened and his fingers suddenly stopped their work and curled tightly upon the t-shirt he had been folding neatly.
Joey's neatness had always surprised Seto, he had always expected his cleanliness to reflect his personal appearance: a deplorable sense of decay. Though Seto had learned many things about his once mortal enemy in the time he had spent here. Once more scanning the contents of the suitcase, that, once more Joey resumed adding his possessions to. He hadn't said a word to Seto since last night, before his last injection. He vaguely remembered stumbling to Joey's room and...collapsing?
"Talk to me!" He pleaded, leaning forward placing flat palms on the bed.
Joey looked almost formidable in his demeanor as he turned to face the other.
"You wanna talk?! Now...you wanna talk...now?!" Joey spat the last word at him placidly as his eyes lost their sheen and narrowed with anger as he looked upon the taller of the two.
"Where were you when I needed to talk to you last night?"
"Uh...I."
"In case you don't remember, you didn't even make it to my room last night. Instead, I find you passed out in front of my door! Was squeezing the knob too much for ya'?!"
Ordinarily, Seto would've been upset. The effect of wounded pride would've caused him to las out irrationaly, but Seto knew he deserved it this time.
"Look, just...Don't leave! We can work this out-"
"No, Kaiba-you-you can work it out, but I don't have to be part of this. You taught me that I deserved more, and I definetely know I deserve more than this. And i'm not gonna wait around for you to find out that you're better than what you're doing to yourself!"
Seto pondered Joey's words as he collected his two battered suitcases and left him where he stood, framed in the doorway, blessed with nothing but the retreating back of the one he loved so fondly, but Joey never looked back. And slowly, the tears seared; silent, and hot down his cheeks and he started to sob. Seto had never sobbed before, but controlled himself with dignity as he reentered Joey's abandoned room, locked the door, and slid down the fine polished oak until he was sitting in the fetal position. Through wracking sobs, he realized what was wrong with him.
"Can't get over you,
Can't get through to you,
It's been a helter skelter,
romance from the start."
"Take these memories,
That are haunting me,
Of a paper man,
Cut into shreds,
By his own pair of scissors,
He'll never forgive her,
He'll neber forgive her."
Seto woke with a start, cold sweat on his forehead, drawing icy breaths, his head held in his hands.
Another dream, nightmare-the same for weeks.
At first Seto's initial reaction was to be angry at Joey's departure, but later he was only mad at himself, for being angry with Jou in the first place. Though he would never tell, not even to Mokuba, who was well aware of the preceedings.
And what of Mokuba? He didn't seem upset, it's altogether surprising he was stillsupportive and caring. But, he did have the grace to tell his big brother that Katsuya's desertion of him was entirely his fault.
(Flashback)
"Are you okay?" Mokuba asked softly leaning over him.
Seto, leaning up found himself still on the floor of Jounouchi's vacant room. His neck was stiff and his back ached with pain. He had a pounding headache and he felt nauseated. He must have fallen asleep on the floor after crying so much. Raising his throbbing head, Mokuba's figure swam into view.
Seto vaguely registered the question and opened his mouth to respond; the most he could achieve was a piteous moan. Mokuba's face fell with concern, and he heaved Seto to his feet. Albeit rather disconcertingly as Seto was much larger than himself.
"I'm fine Mokuba." The older Kaiba uttered in a demanding groan, straightening himself, he moved to open the door.
"You aren't fine, big brother." Mokuba retorted in a forced thate of calm. He placed one hand on the door and the other grasped his brother's wrist. Mokuba looked imploringly up at him, his long hair hanging dramatically in front of his left eye.
"You...aren't fine, big brother." Mokuba whimpered, his eyes pleading with Seto.
"Well, i'll be fine." Seto hissed, wrenching his arm away. He flung open the door and stalked out.
"It's your fault, y'know!" Mokuba screeched through the closed door.
Seto, about to turn right down the left wing hallway paused. Reaching for the doorknob with a shaking hand, he thrust it open and turned his world famous malicious scowl upon his own little brother, who had done nothing but give him the truth. His own little brother, who was standing, feeble and wide-eyed in the doorway, resolutedly clenching his fists.
"It is Seto...It's your own fault Katsuya left."
Kaiba, turned his head and looked down at the floor; awkwardly he thrust his hands in his pockets.
"I know, Mokuba." He whispered in defeat, more to himself that to his sibling and he sauntered off back to his room. There, he ripped apart his room, searching for any evidence of his addiction and quickly disposed of it all.
The shatters of glass and resounding crashes from his brother's room sand Mokuba to a deep sleep.
(end flashback)
"Because days,
Come and go,
But my feelings for you are forever!"
"Because days,
Come and go,
But my feelings for you are forever!"
Lying awake in his bed, and it was only thrity minutes after ten, he had gone to bed excessively early all this month after Joey's departure.
After throwing away the products of his addiction, the most he ever wanted to do was sleep. He had lost weight and constantly was in a terrible temper. Mokuba was incessantly imploring him to eat, but he seldom ever did.
All he ever did was sleep, and that's all he ever wanted to do. Except see Joey, but he couldn't ever ask him to come back, and he never would.
Seto pushed himself from the bed and stumbled groggily to the adjoined bathroom. Turning to face himself in the mirror and gasped. His eyes were sunken, he had huge bags under his eyes, his skin was pasty and pale white, his hair was lank, and he was dreadfully, and dangerously thin.
Turning on the faucet he ducked his whole head under the frigid running water. His anger rose, he cursed Jou under his breath. Cursed him for being there, cursed him for leaving, and cursed him for making him fall in love with him.
"Sitting by a fire,
On a lonely night,
Hanging over from another good time,
With another girl,
Little dirty girl,"
"You should listen to this,
Story of a life,"
"You're my heroine,
In this moment i'm lonely,
Fulfilling my darkest dream,
All these drugs,
All these women,"
"I'm never forgiven,
I'm never forgiven,
This broken heart of mine,"
Damning Joey he roughly turned off the water and scrabbled around the bathroom; grabbing a towel he dried himself thoroughly. Disgusted with his weakness, he hauled himself up to the polished counter and scowled at his shadowed reflection in the mirror.
Heading to his room he ripped open the wardrobe and clawed out some suitable clothes. Pulling them on over the ghost of his former body, he grabbed his coat and draped it over his shoulders.
Jounouchi was disgusted with him, was he? Well, Katsuya just didn't understand, Mokuba neither. Shows what Joey knew. He sniffed, never able to forgive himself the scrutiny of ever belonging to that ever obnoxious and ostentatious, third rate deulist that Jou, the puppy-was. He'd get over that mutt, he didn't need him.
Seto stalked out the door, shutting it slosed behind him; thankfully there was no unwanted attention from Mokuba on his way out.
Breathing in the warm air in the night, he grinned. He was Seto Kaiba, and he answered to no one.
-forever-
"Kame Game Shop, how may I help you?"
"Yugi?!"
"Mokuba? What do you need?"
"Joey's living with you, isn't he?"
Mokuba sensed the hesitation over the line and he knew that Joey hadn't wanted anyone in contact with him.
"Um, Mokuba...I'm sorry, but-"
"No! Yugi, please! I need to talk to Jou. It's about my brother!"
There were hissed whispers in the backround.
"He says he doesn't want..."
"Yugi, please! I need to talk to him!"
There were angry whispers and cries of "No!" and "I won't!" When Jou suddenly came on the line. Yugi clearly couldn't let down anyone in need, just like Yugi.
"What do you need, Mokie?" Jounouchi said slightly irritated, and more than a little worried.
"Seto's left."
"What?!"
"I...don't know where he went. I came downstairs after I heard the door slam and he was gone!"
"..."
"..."
"Well...Did he leave a note?"
-forever-
Searching for the vein he slid in the needle as neatly as if he had just did it yesterday, and turned back to the girl sitting directly to his right.
Long dark hair fell around her face, her eyes were deep mud brown, her skin; soft and pliant. She smiled when she took the needle back from him. A bad, dangerous smile; nothing like Jou's smile.
Seto's grin had long faded before he reached out for her, girls were easy to fool.
-forever-
Seto stumbled through the front door, he barely even made the way home, he knew. He was sopping wet and he couldn't remember how he had gotten that way. Memories, flashes of the night before plagued his concience. His eyes blurred, his head pounded, his senses dulled, and when he finally looked up, his blood boiled, and his heart raced.
-Color flashed,
furious movement,
a girl's voice,
and heat...it was hot...
The building, the bed was on fire!
...
...
"JOU!"
"Huh, who's that?"
Nothing was the same...
Never the same...-
On the floor, the carpet that blended perfectly with the creme colored walls of the well furnished Kaiba mansion, a calamity occured. Seto Kaiba, the CEO of Kaiba Corp, created a very dramatic and scandelous picture. Once again fallen unconcious at the feet of his ex-boyfriend. More a statement of fallen pride and unspoken apology than anything he could and wouldn't ever say to the the blonde.
Jounouchi, with fleeted feet, ran to catch his fallen lover. Turning him over, discovered he had passed out on the carpet in front of him. Crouching down on his knees, he turned Kaiba's head gently to the side, to make sure he didn't swallow his own tongue. He wrapped his arms around the unconcious one's waist and weeped as he slid his face in the crook of Seto's arm.
"You rich bastard, why?!"
"Because days,
Come and go,
But my feelings for you are forever,"
"Because days,
Come and go,
But my feelings for you are forever,"
"One last kiss,
Before I go,"
"Dry your tears,
It is time,
To let you go,"
"One last kiss,
One last kiss,
Before I go,
Before I go,"
"Dry your tears,
Dry your tears,"
"It is time,
To let you go,"
What was that sound? So perfect, so fluid, the sound-infectious, pure; ringing through the air, floating like a bird, it flew around Seto's head like nothing the morning sunlight could. It was a voice, a man; gentle and soft.
His eyes closed, he let the music fill him, and slowly he became aware of his surroundings. He was wearing a rough gown, on a lumpy mattress, with a thin cotton blanket up to his chin. He was lying on his back, and he could hear the light rain outside the window; it was wonderful backround to the one singing.
Growing impatient, he wished to open his eyes and look upon the one singing that beautiful song, and to find out where he was, because he was surely not in his own bed. He didn't even remember making it to his room, much less to the bed.
What did he remember?
There was the ride home; wet and dangerous, the door, it was open, there was the foyer, then the living room, and...Joey?...
and then the floor.
Slowly, his eyes opened, and bloodeshot cerulean pierced the shining emerald of Jounouchi's, directly above him. The singer. Looking around, he realized, he was in the hospital. Hooked up to various machines he spied the remote to the bed, and the window. The window was closed and the rain was pouring. Is that what he had driven home in last night?
He turned his head towards Joey. His face was tear streaked, and his visage glistened with the residue, his eyes still shone, but he smiled. He smiled, and it filled Seto with hope, that maybe the only one he didn't hate, maybe didn't hate him. That smile, once carefree and haughty, was now thin, weak, but it was sincere, of that Seto could be sure.
"Don't cry for me." Where the first words he managed. Joey in response, wiped his face with his sleeve.
"And why shouldn't I? If I don't who will?"
"You shouldn't...I let you down."
"Because days,
Come and go,
But my feelings for you are forever,"
"Because days,
Come and go,
But my feelings for you are forever,"
"That doesn't matter."
"It doesn't to me." Seto declared, reaching for Jou's arm.
"Well, it matters to me. And that's what I care about." Joey said defiantly, shaking his head. His hair flew into his face.
Seto reached up with his other arm and swept the stray lock of his lover's hair to one side. Joey turned and lifted Seto's hand off his arm. Seto, sensing tension, knew what he must do.
Seto had never, ever apologized in his life to anyone. According to the eldest Kaiba, you apologized to no one, because everyone was held accountable for themselves, and if someone got hurt, it was their own fault. But, this time, he had gotten hurt, and had hurt someone else with his actions, and it .Fault.
"Jounouchi I-"
"I don't want to hear it Seto, as much as you don't want to say it." So commanding, almost angry. Seto looked up and Joey was almost shaking.
"It won't make any difference, whether you apologize or not...If you apologize and I forgive you, you'll jus' do it again. Show me that you can change."
Seto's eyes cast downward, it sounded almost like he was scolding him. Normally Seto would have been outraged, had he had the energy at the time.
"Why'd you come?" Seto asked softly, if he was planning on kicking him while he was down, he could have done so while he was unconcious. Seto felt his anger boiling in his chest.
"Because...I still care."
"One last kiss,
Before I go,"
"Dry your tears,
It is time,
To let you go,"
"One last kiss,
Before I go,"
"Dry your tears,
It is time,
To let you go,"
"One last kiss."
Seto looked up with determination.
"Then, does that mean we can start over?"
Joey looked up with his old warm smile and said, "We seem to be doing that alot lately." Seto didn't even blink.
"I'm serous." Joey's face fell.
"I'm not sure, that might take awhile." Seto, smiling, reached up to touch Joey's face.
"That'll be fine, we have forever." Leaning up quickly, he kissed Joey. Bewildered, Joey's eyes opened wide onto the rain that fell outside. Slowly he pressed himself closer to his lover, forever...He could live with that.
And out in the hallway, Mokuba snickered.
-fin-
Well, I haven't written in forever, I got banned from fanfiction for reading and writing YuGiOh yaoi and shonen-ai. My father also found out that I am a bisexual. He told me to never get on fanfic again, but i'm eighteen now. So i'm back in action and looking for some good lit! Please review, depending on your responses, I might right a pre-quel! I'm used to writing humor so I might submit something more light hearted for my next fic! Please tell me what you think.