Author's note: Hi Folks. . . . I know it has been unforgiveable but this year. . . . I have no internet at home. Let it soak in for a moment. Therefore I truly apologise for my tardiness. Really bad form. This story is still alive and kicking so don't worry. Hope you enjoy the next chappie. . . thanks to all who reviewed I love to read your comments and see what you think!
"There has been no word from Radagast."
The statement rang solemnly through the silent room.
"Someone must know where he is! He cannot have just disappeared into the depths of Mirkwood never to return!"
"Lord Elrond is right Indil. I myself have tried to locate our friend to no end, it worries me greatly that Radagast is absent but we must concentrate on the Fellowship."
Indil stood in one fluid movement from her chair.
"Don't you see? I fear the worst has happened and Radagast has either been tricked by Saruman or killed."
Gandalf raised his hand placatingly in front of the stressed Istar.
"Think Indil, why would Saruman after ignoring Radagast for hundreds of years now suddenly consider him a threat? He dismissed Radagast as if he was a worthless rock in the soil, useless and bland."
Kneading her temples Indil looked at the two lords both seated before the fire.
"Just because Saruman used to consider him a fool does not mean he still holds to that belief! You and I both know the power and influence Radagast yields amongst the animals of this world. If Saruman has half a brain he would realise that such talents could be very useful in keeping an eye on those he wants out of his way. Who would spare a second glance at a small bird or hare? None."
Lord Elrond glanced meaningfully at Gandalf before walking to Indils' side.
"Indil have you been sleeping well?" he murmured, leading her to her former seat.
"No, not as well as I should like. Why do you ask?" replied Indil resignedly.
"I can tell, your movements are agitated . . . more so than usual; you constantly rub at your eyes; your shoulders are stooped. Indil it does not take a centuries old healer to see you are overtired."
Lowering into the chair provided Elrond moved to one side to pour some wine into her empty glass. Indil rested her brow in the palms of her hands taking comfort in the momentary respite from holding her head up. Over her bowed head the two lords shared a worried look.
"Indil I think you are over thinking the problem. Clever as he is Saruman was always stubborn and slow to change that which he believed to be true. Radagast has always been the least social of our order, the recluse . . . even the elves of Mirkwood found it hard to draw him into conversation."
Staring distractedly into the darkness of her closed palms Indil let Gandalfs' words roll through her mind. Maybe she was complicating something that was in truth very simple.
"Besides do not forget Radagasts' fondness for herbs and medicines. I recall some thirty years ago he disappeared into Mirkwood for a month after which all he had done was fill six satchels with bark scrapings."
The group smiled at the remembered incident. Once again each withdrew into their own memories leaving the room hushed and quiet.
Indil still could not let the issue drop; every time she dismissed it another aspect would re-emerge and make her look more closely at the whole situation.
"Nevertheless I think it would be foolish to believe that Radagast has just disappeared. Not even he would leave all his things behind. His hooded cloak . . . for goodness sake his hooded cloak. That thing was never off his back, Gandalf. Why leave it then when you are about to embark on a journey? The cupboards were undisturbed, no crockery was missing, not even a pot."
Again Elrond glanced at the grey clad Istar over Indils' shoulder. Acknowledging the Elf Lords' concern Gandalf pulled his chair forward until he sat almost directly in front of Indil. Slowly he took each of her hands in his own, refusing to let her look anywhere else other than into his eyes.
"We are all worried for Radagast; we are not trying to dismiss what you are saying Indil but right now we have more pressing concerns. Yes Radagasts' things were still in his home in Rhosgobel, yes it was unusual but not so unusual as to constitute a full out search."
Indil looked at her hands within Gandalfs' grip. After a breath, having mustering all the belief she could, she raised her eyes to his.
"There is something wrong. I know you think it is from lack of sleep, I know you think I am paranoid. . . .do not deny it."
"We both know the horrors you witnessed. . . . the pain you suffered. It would be ignorant of me indeed if I did not consider it perhaps part of why you are so convinced that Radagast is in trouble. What's more you have not been sleeping well, wandering the gardens late at night. You supposed we did not notice your nightly strolls?"
Ripping her hands from his grasp Indil leaped from her chair, striding past Elrond she gripped the stone sill relishing the roughness of the stone beneath.
"Lady Indil perhaps you . . ."
"What Lord Elrond? Perhaps I should lie down? Close my eyes for a while? Allow myself to recreate in my mind the darkness . . . the torture . . . the blood?"
Turning her back on the window she faced the Elf Lord and Istar.
"Please do not insult my intelligence. . . I realise that what happened effects me . . . influences my decisions . . . there is no escaping that. I am not refuting it but please do not pretend to accept my ideas and while my back is turned share looks of incredulity and disbelief! I asked for this meeting because I am concerned.
I know I am overtired, I know that my experiences have left me more paranoid than before but do not ignore me as Saruman ignored Radagast only to realise too late that I had something meaningful to say!
Gandalf, what did you first think when my . . . when my report on the black gate did not arrive? What did you think?"
"Do not dare to compare that situation with this!" bellowed Gandalf, rising to his full height.
"Why not? Is it not the same? Did you not think I had just been delayed? Did not every last person not think I was just held back?"
"Indil during those times your secrecy was paramount. For anyone of us to march into Mordor to try to reclaim you and then realise you were perfectly fine would have had huge consequences. . . . . I thought we had been through this. . ." finished Gandalf, almost whispering.
Realising her mistake Indil embraced Gandalf tightly.
"We did, we did and you know I forgive you . . . you know that."
Indil drew back to look her friend in the eyes.
"You also know that while everyone thought I was fine I was actually locked in the deepest dungeons of Barad-Dur. I fear the same will happen to Radagast if we just let this incident pass without further investigation."
Sighing deeply Gandalf turned from Indil and picked up his goblet. Drowning it of its contents he returned it to the table.
"I cannot leave Frodo."
Indil smiled at her friend.
"Sometimes I think you forget you are not the only Istar in the whole of Arda. I do not expect you to go, you must lead the Fellowship. I on the other hand have no such obligations. . ."
"Are you sure you wish to venture into these waters again, Lady Indil?" inquired Lord Elrond, who had silently been watching the pair from his seat.
Staring distractedly at the wall Indil took a few moments to reply.
"There is no escaping the coming tide, there is no way of stopping it. We must all play whatever part is set out for us however small or large."
Turning to face the seated Elf Lord Indil continued.
"I was once held by the Dark Lord. I have seen the night with no dawn, felt the cold with no chill, the heat with no warmth. There is little that would frighten me now . . . little that could compare. I will see this to the end, the bitter end."
Gandalf stood proudly next to the table. For a moment he was reminded of Indil as she had once been; hopeful, strong and unblemished. With this new image however there came a maturity that had developed over the years, a knowing look in the eyes, a wizening in the face. This was not the innocent Indil of years gone by but a new creation out of the ashes of the old.
"In that case I think we should all raise our goblets to the success of your mission. To find Radagast the Brown and to know of his fate, whatever the outcome." Stated Elrond grandly, lifting his own glass in unison with the two very different Istari before him.
Boromir stared out on the open courtyard. It looked so peaceful and calm; yet in two days time he would leave this place. What lay ahead not only inspired the deepest feelings of longing, to see Gondor again, but also of fear.
Strolling alongside the gardens he was reminded of his mother. How she had loved her gardens, in full bloom or in the dead of winter. Nothing so grand as those that blossom here in Rivendell but still just as precious to those who nurtured them. What would she have made of all this? Faramir off in some remote wilderness, her scholar traipsing around with a bow and arrow. Myself in a foreign elven kingdom about to embark on a journey that would ultimately end in the darkest corner of all Arda, if all went well. He smiled at the thought, she had bee so protective of them . . .
The echoing sound of a lone pair of feet shook him from his reverie. Round a corner swept Indil, a tall and solitary figure in the moonlight. Startled slightly at her sudden appearance Boromir found he could not at first answer her question.
"Pardon, my lady. My thoughts were elsewhere . . ."
Indil smiled at the Gondorian. The sight of her with nought but a cloak over her nightdress and boots on her feet had left him undeniably shaken.
"It is quite alright Boromir. I had just inquired as to why you are out in the gardens so late?"
In truth she had seen him leave the Hall of Fire earlier and had presumed he had retired to his chamber.
"Ah, well I was quite tired this evening and left the Hall of Fire after Master Bilbo had recited his tale. I was awoken however by some dreams I could not leave behind me so I decided to wander in the fresh air to encourage my body back to sleep again."
Indeed his rather unkempt appearance attested to this reasoning quite clearly.
"I understand. Master Bilbo's' tales can endure for quite a while; not for the weak of heart. I myself was also quite restless and thought a turn in the gardens would make for an improved slumber. What troubles you so this night?"
Boromir smiled gently. Turning once more to the gardens he offered Indil his arm which she took quietly and allowed herself to be led to the stone bench a short distance away. Wrapping her cloak around her tightly Indil sat and turned to listen to the Stewards' sons explanation.
"I am sure it is fairly plain that the fast approaching quest has left me quite restless. Ah I see you mistake my answer for being complete and utter fear?" goaded Boromir.
"No I recognise that fear plays a small part in everyone's nervousness but not so much as to disturb one's sleep." Replied Indil evasively.
Boromir laughed at her answer.
"My Lady you would give any of Gondors' top politicians and statesmen trouble. Indeed you would slip unnoticed into the fold! Yes it is not just fear . . . but also longing. I have been now almost a season away from my homeland, my father and my brother. It is thoughts of them that pull be from my chamber."
Indil smiled at the Gondorians' honesty. Not every man could admit loneliness or longing to see family. Most would shrug it off or blame it on anxiousness to see battle.
"I cannot shake thoughts of my mother either . . . she has been a more frequent purveyor of my dreams lately."
"Finduilas. That is not a name I have spoken aloud for many a year, too many."
Boromir stared in shock at his companion. Indil grinned at his apparent surprise.
"Please Boromir, how could I not have met your mother at least once on my travels? She was an extraordinary woman may I add. Beautiful as well. I see now why you visit the gardens; did she not have some of her own within the very walls of the White City?"
"Yes. She spent almost everyday in those gardens. Books and flowers her two great occupations. Exactly like Faramir . . ."
"Your brother is I take it like your mother?"
Boromir snorted incredulously.
"If you knew Faramir you would not ask such a question. Undoubtedly, I think that is, in part, why my father keeps his distance from Faramir."
Indil let the quiet wash over the man, letting him relax in the cool, comforting breeze. Tentatively she reached out with her senses, pushing past his defences . . . a man much like Boromir stood in a doorway. Older, more stooped but his very likeness. Across from him sat a younger man, younger than Boromir. Before him a rather full book lay on the table. He turned and faced Indil, his eyes were exactly like Finduilas but he still bore a slight resemblance to the older man.
"Your brother is a quiet spirit? Not fond of confrontation but not afraid to engage in it if it is necessary?"
Boromir turned his head slowly. He felt as if he were gazing through a light fog, all his movements seemed slow and sluggish. Indil remained however clear as crystal in his eyes; the fog did not obscure her or her outline.
"Exactly. That is my brother . . . that is Faramir." Extracted Boromir from a heavy mouth.
As soon as it had come the feeling of lethargy vanished. His eyelids still felt as if they would close at any moment.
"I think I shall head back to my chamber." Announced Indil rising from her cold seat.
"I too shall retire. I feel quite tired all of a sudden." Mumbled Boromir, stretching out his tall frame.
Once more they walked through the gardens back to the corridor in which they had met. Strolling down the empty halls they reached their rooms in no time.
"Good night Boromir."
"Sleep well, Lady Indil. I shall see you on the morrow." Answered Boromir before entering his chamber.
Making sure to open and close the door Indil waited a few moments. Pausing fleetingly she discerned the deepening of breathing and lack of movement.
Smiling slightly she moved off towards the Bruinen to see if the river could quieten her thoughts and maybe reveal some of the character that constantly haunted her steps.