Disclaimer: I don't own CSI

Warning: NickGreg, and some dark themes.

A/N: I forgot to warn you about my pretty lousy English the first time! Sorry. Now you're warned! evil grin

Sorry about the long wait, but life's been totally CRAZY the last few weeks… and it doesn't seem like it's getting any better either!

And I could use some help here… don't quite know where this fic is headed yet!

Living with a Monster

Chapter 2: Guilt

Greg found himself lying on the floor in his hallway. The floor definitely needed to be cleaned, and his white sneakers seemed to be colored gray from where he saw them. The side of his head throbbed from where it had hit the door. His jaw just felt wrong somehow, where Nick's fist had hit him. But that was not the worst part. He had this bad feeling in his stomach. Guilt.

He should never have said those things to Nick. No, he should never have screamed those things to Nick. Greg had meant everything he had said, but he should never have spoken them out loud. Everybody could have bad days sometimes. Not just Nick. Greg didn't know what Nick went trough everyday. Greg never saw chopped up bodies, he never had to deal with dead people no one really cared about, people who didn't have friends or family that noticed they were dead. He didn't have to deal with the smells, the feeling of dead people's skin, didn't have to cut them open together with a man who sometimes told him unsavory jokes as they worked. Who was he to judge Nick if he came home a little more depressed than Greg would've liked? Greg loved Nick more than anyone. He should've understood Nick's mood swings. Accepted them.

The guilty feeling was too much for Greg. He got up from the floor, stumbled quickly into the bathroom, and knelt before the toilet and emptied his stomach. He hadn't felt so bad about something since the day he held that party and his drunken friend Monica walked trough that French window. She ended up in the hospital with pretty many cuts and scrapes that day.

The sour taste of old milk and cheese wasn't a taste Greg enjoyed much. What he had said to Nick echoed in his ears. It was so bad that it made Nick punch him. He had never done that before. Never. None of them had. How did a little misunderstanding end up like this? He shakily got up leaned on the sink. After having brushed his teeth, Greg found his way to the living room. His vision was clouded with hundreds of small dots. The heavy guilt was still there. He collapsed on the couch, tucking a hand under his head and studied the ceiling. There was a fly up there, desperately trying to find a way out. He was too tired to get up and help the poor bug out.

Nick was probably at the lab now, solving another bad case. Greg's eyelids closed, but he didn't fall asleep. He just couldn't. His stomach wouldn't let him. But after a few minutes the exhaustion dragged him to sleep.

Greg sat in his lab, finishing the analysis of some fluids that were found on a dildo for Warrick Brown. The one and only who used to call him 'Sanders'. Just like Archie, the guy had asked about the almost black bruise on his jaw. Greg had done everything not to get questions about it. He had put on his mask. It contained of a bright purple shirt that didn't match his mood at all, and some blasting music. But none of it helped. He still got questions. Questions he didn't quite knew how to answer. So he made up a story for them.

Archie swallowed it whole, but Warrick looked a little more skeptical about it. But he never got to grill Greg more about his nearly black jaw, because the results of the dildo came out of the machine. The person who had used it was a female, and a match to their suspect. With that Warrick rushed out of the room with the results in his hands. Something Greg didn't mind at all. He just wanted to be left alone. The nausea and the guilt had still not subsided. But concentrating about something else helped- like the music or the job he was doing.

He only go a few minutes alone after Warrick left before Catherine came into his lab with a small plastic bag with some more evidence in her hands that needed to be tested. She seemed to find his music a little bit too loud, so she turned it off. She gave him the swab, and leaned on his desk as she looked at him with her 'Catherine look'. Was that the way she looked at her customers before they paid her for her lap dance in her stripper days? If he wasn't so moody, he would have commented it, made a comment of sorts. But not today. He really didn't want to talk to her today. He wanted her to leave him the swab, and he wanted her to leave him alone.

"Hello, Greg." This was rare. She actually had time to talk to him. He put on his biggest and fakest Greg Sanders grin for her and prepared himself for the questions he knew he would get as soon as he turned towards her.

"Hi, Catherine." He sighted. There it was. The playful smile on her lipstick colored lips disappeared, and a frown took its place. He continued. "What can I do for you today?"

She looked at him like she hadn't quite understood what he had said, because she was too busy wondering about his bruise. The little plastic bag on the desk got her attention again. "Eh…Right. Blood swab. Suspect got a little cut on his finger as broke into a jewelry store. I've got all the time in the world today." She looked up at the mark on his face again, before the frown on her face replaced the slight confusion. "But what happened with you?" she added, and nodded towards his face.

"Ah, this?" he pointed at it. "Why is everyone asking that question? So not interesting- at all. But it's just a little souvenir from last night."

"And?" solving crimes was her job after all. He couldn't blame her as much as he wanted to. It seemed to be in her instincts or something.

"Yeah, I was on this bar last night, and a guy got a little pissed."

"But why?"

"He stood in my way, and I cursed at him. Unfortunately for me, it seemed like the guy knew some Norwegian." He couldn't lie to Catherine. At least he told her some of the truth, if only a bit of it.

She smiled. Nothing too serious, then. "One in a million, huh?" she smiled, and looked amused.

"Actually, the chance for that is less than one in a million." Greg sighted. Catherine laughed and run a hand trough her blonde hair.

"Drunk?" She actually found this funny. He didn't. He was nauseous again.

"Totally shitface."

"Hung over?"

"You have no idea." That probably made sense for Catherine, because he felt like that. He felt like he soon needed a visit to the men's room. Greg hesitated before he asked his next question. "So… Eh… any bad cases today?" the answer could relive what he could expect from Nick when he got home from his shift.

"Yeah, Nick got a rape. A little girl walked home from school, only to get raped. Dayshift didn't solve the case, so Nick got it. She was six years old. Can you believe it? I'm just glad I didn't get it. Why?" She never got an answer. Greg ran off to the men's room as fast as he could, with bile up in his throat. He barely made it.

As he unsteadily got out of the room, he was met with a couple of arms wrapped around him.

"You're really not doing well tonight, are you, Greg?" He shook his head, and managed to get himself out of Catherine's grip.

"I'm just fine and dandy, Cat." She didn't even seem to notice the hated nickname Greg gave her, she just shook her head, and followed Greg back to his lab.

"You know, Greg, I can't do anything about your hangover, but I can make that bruise of yours go away. People will stop bothering you about it." Greg finished his rapport, and laughed.

"Makeup? Catherine, most of the guys who stop by me every night, are CSIs. Don't you think they will figure it out?"

"Not when I'm done." And then she hurried to wherever she kept her makeup so she could make Greg as good as new.

None of the other CSIs who stopped by him that night so Greg got something to do asked him about the bruise. He was forever grateful for Catherine's help.

A/N: thanks for reading!

And- I want to thank those who reviewed the last chapter- oONatsuOo, cindy, DemonUntilDeath, DaRkSiDeStHeOnLySiDe, sasukesmyemo394, cameragirl and klnolan and all those who put me on their favs/alert lists!