Chapter 17
Consciousnesses whispered and swirled around bleakly in the black abyss that was his mind. Well . . . not his mind . . . at least not from the start. But it was now. The black wolf licked his lips in satisfaction, feeling the caged sentience in the corner of what was now his mind start to squirm at the thoughts. He laughed at its pitiful attempts to free itself, and then humored himself by squeezing it into submission. Though he left it alive, due to his orders, he enjoyed causing enough harm that would leave the intelligence right on the brink of death.
All of the other consciousnesses that his mind touched were mere fodder. Each was an obsolete being, busy worrying about the simple matters of food or sheltering from the blizzard, busy keeping their mates and families of pitiful mewling infants from hungry predators. As the tiny creatures fell under the shadow of his demonic wrath, each mental link faded into the oblivion from whence it came. Pride flooded their executioner as he trotted majestically through the snowy plain, undisturbed, a dark blotch in the great white drifts, his muzzle stained with blood from the killings.
Snow whipped around in little pillars of white, flurrying about in random twisting paths. It was a beautiful earthly storm, but not near as beautiful as back home. Irritation spiked in the black wolf as he thought of his predicament, but he blocked the emotion and focused his attention on the task ahead. Even as dawn broke on the snow desert and the air steadily became more frigid, he kept the same pace, an eternal, effortless trot across the plain. The sun slowly crawled to its zenith, then gradually fell back below the horizon. It was then that his mind touched hers.
He slowed to a walk, mentally probing the creature that had come to his attention. It was her. The wolf shot his consciousness outward like an arrow, reaching far beyond where he stood to report his findings. His black haunches sank into the snow and his crimson eyes focused on a distant image as he felt the distinct mental connection snap into place.
"I have found her, but her life seeps away, even this very moment." The wolf bent to sniff the ground as he spoke to the wind, glancing at the many dark shapes on the white horizon. His lips pulled back in a smile.
"There are Balkar here."
In the distance loomed the great castle of Harja. It's massive stone structure, eroded and cracked with age, was a beacon on this deserted waste of a planet. The black wolf snorted as he watched the patterns the swirling snow made about its heights. No doubt that the Balkar resided somewhere nearby their beloved monument.
Rekoj's voice echoed in his head, "Well, that moves things right along. Let them take her, but make sure you follow. We need to see how she'll react." Anger flashed through the black wolf, and his lip now curled in a snarl.
"I know how she'll react. Don't forget, Rekoj, that our secret weapon will be put into play soon enough. And besides, I could easily kill them all. There are only ten."
"Well, I'm not much of a schemer myself, but we need the Balkar for later. Do not harm them."
The black wolf stood up and paced back and forth in fury. His muscles rippled beneath his ebony pelt like some giant cat as he fluidly moved back and forth across the snow, creating a large trodden path in the drift. Then, he cloaked his image from the minds of the approaching Balkar and watched as they woke the she-wolf from her fatal slumber.
". . . Very well."
This was no ordinary nightmare of a memory. This was something far worse.
It was black. Pitch black. And so cold. How could it be so cold?
Citegrene cowered in the darkness, fear creeping through her veins. It made her furious to be brought so low, but it didn't matter. All that mattered now was escaping this black pit of hell.
What's that? A sound? Citegrene swung her muzzle to the left, drawing herself into a tight ball as she stared fearfully into the black. A whimper escaped from her clenched teeth, and she quickly cut off the sound. Something was drawing closer to her.
Citegrene could feel soil beneath her now. It just . . . came into being below her very paws. Startling, but not nearly as startling as what was stalking towards her now.
There was no light, yet it was illuminated. None of this nightmare made any sense! And the fear that consumed Citegrene seemed so real.
Gleaming yellow teeth flashed in a malignant leer. Coarse brown paws eagerly stalked forward, sometimes leaving the ground in irregular leaps of joy. A pink tongue lolled, saliva sliding down its length and plopping onto the dusty black earth. From the corners of an open muzzle stretched knotted blemishes, layered thick with scar tissue, accentuated with crimson.
"Hee hee ho hah heh hee ha!" It was his demented laugh that rang around Citegrene's world of blackness. It was him closing the gap that existed between her and this nightmare. Citegrene could feel her limbs shaking as Rekoj neared. Unexpected sweat droplets dewed on her fur and rolled into her eyes.
The wolf was now mere feet from her, but yet she stood stock still. There was something different about his eyes. Oh no . . . they were black orbs rimmed with a thin corona of crimson. They were not his eyes . . . They were the eyes of a demon.
His ragged muzzle parted and began to move as if speaking, but no sound reached Citegrene's ears. She slowly sidled backwards to escape, but confusion now tempered the terror. What, was she going deaf?
Rekoj kept speaking, his body language showing that he was growing increasingly more amused. And then, when Citegrene could tell he was reaching the climax of his announcement, he stopped. She stared up at him with wide eyes, watching as his eyebrows sunk lower and lower and his grin became a threatening snarl. Fangs flashed as he barked, but Citegrene remained deaf to sound. She slowly backed up into the blackness around her.
Rekoj's face went blank. The air suddenly crackled with energy. Citegrene could sense something rear its great within the wolf that stood before her, a power so mighty that she couldn't comprehend it. Her whole body quaked in fear as his crimson orbs flashed, and then she felt herself fall to the ground, limp.
A shadow fell over her thoughts. The she-wolf knew that she wasn't alone. It was a blackness more impenetrable even than the darkness that surrounded her. It cloaked her mind, prodding around with no intention of being gentle. Citegrene caught glimpses of flames and unbearable pain as it sifted through her memories, and started to cry out.
Then, everything disappeared in a great flash of white. The presence in her mind fled. Citegrene stood alone in a beautiful white-frosted forest, alongside a radiant white wolf. Citegrene gaped at her, unable to voice her overwhelming gratitude and confusion. Either having not seen Citegrene's mental state or simply overlooking it, Larka nodded once. The dream was then torn from Citegrene's mind.
"Be gentle, Pmiw! You don't want to hurt her!" Citegrene's body bucked slightly, then the wolves beneath her continued onwards with a smooth gait. She knew she was being borne to some place where innumerable tortures might lie in wait for her, but she didn't care at all. It could have been Rekoj himself, which was most certainly worse than death, but that didn't give her pause. All Citegrene wanted to do was sleep.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Yako. It's just . . ." the voice dropped to a whisper, "she's so heavy. Why did everyone else have to leave just to go scouting? Who on this earth needs eight Varg to scout for one mile?" With a great rustling of fur, there was a second adjustment of Citegrene, then the smooth crunch of paws on snow became audible once more.
"They were going to dig out the passage to the valley. You know that as well as I, so be quiet."
Pmiw's voice piped up again. "This wolf looks like she's been wallowing in the sewers for a while . . . how did she survive out here for so long with so much," he shifted the golden wolf's body to a better position, "weight?"
"How am I to know, you whining mutt? Just shut your trap and keep moving."
That crossed the line. "What did you just call me?" Though his voice cracked in fear, it had a long-held yearning to defend itself. Citegrene felt her limp form stop moving. Great . . .
"You heard me, deaf ears. Shut the hell up."
"And what if I don't?" Growls suddenly erupted from all around, resonating through the cold air as Citegrene was dropped to the ground. She grunted upon impact, but the sound was lost in the din of angry snarling.
"Well, Pmiw? If it's the leadership you want, all you have to do is slit her helpless throat." Silence fell. Citegrene cracked open her eyes to see the two angry males, fur huffed out and facing each other with fury etched into their features. Neither noticed her awakening. Her vision blurredly focused on the hind paw within reach of her mouth.
Helpless? Helpless!? I'll show them helpless! Without further thought, she lunged forward and latched her teeth into the sinewy flesh. Blood squirted into her parched mouth. It tasted good.
"AHH!!! Get her off!!!" The male started to flick his leg in attempts to dislodge Citegrene's grip, causing his short tan fur to tickle her nose. She growled and bit down harder, resisting the urge to sneeze.
"Ha ha ha! It looks like you won't be succeeding her for a while!"
"Dammit! Help me, you bastard!!"
The other male laughed even harder, his sides heaving for breath as he fell to the ground in a heaping mass of howls. Citegrene squeezed her jaws tighter, then released her victim. The young wolf instantly sprang away with a yelp, his mouth gaping, his bushy tail tucked between his legs and his ears flat in fear.
Citegrene weakly staggered onto her feet, a deep growl emanating from her chest. Her dirty fur was spiked in all directions and frosted with ice, making her visage seem all the more ghastly.
"Where am I?" she grunted.
"Uhhhh . . . uhhhh . . ." The tan wolf shook with fear, sinking to the ground and rolling to show his white belly fur in submission. Citegrene growled with pleasure at his groveling. She had already bested one of the males; now it was the other's turn.
"Right next to the Balkar valley, ma'am." The speaker's gray fur was scarred with age, but his muscles still looked strong. Citegrene sized him up. Just another sweet talking Varg that was trying to placate her wrath. Well, that wouldn't work.
"Where that?"
"Why . . . right next to Harja, where we found you. You were almost dead."
Citegrene snorted. "Should have left me. Want to die."
"Well, we don't want you to die. The Balkar need you."
A vicious snarl escaped from Citegrene's open mouth. "Why everyone need me? Can't everyone live own damn lives without needing ME!?"
The other wolf smiled amusedly, shifting his weight from paw to paw as he thoughtfully looked at the she-wolf. He obviously underestimated her anger. Citegrene couldn't take the mutt's insolence anymore.
It was over quickly. Yako's body lay at her feet in mere seconds, his neck punctured with fang marks. The freshly spilled blood still dripped from Citegrene's muzzle. It tasted so good. She slowly looked over at Pmiw, the bloodlust flaring in her eyes. The pathetic male was cowering near a snowbank, his thin legs quivering in fear and his eyes wide in horror. He couldn't have been more than a pup. Citegrene pulled back her lips, her crimson fangs flashing.
Pmiw yelped and sprinted off. The she-wolf quickly followed, kicking up snow as she scrambled after him and pushed off from the ground with a tremendous leap. Her jaws crunched down on the male's neck as she landed on his back, and he buckled underneath her weight. They both tumbled into a snowbank with a flurry of white, and Citegrene stood to shake her prey back and forth by the scruff. When his neck had been broken in at least three places, she flung the body away from her. Disgusting, filthy mutt.
Citegrene . . . don't be so quick to kill. They could have been useful.
Citegrene thought back viciously, What's wrong with killing!? Besides, I don't see you out here dealing with these dogs. You think that you are all that, sitting back there and trying to play god. Citegrene spat into the snow. It was a red globule of blood from her fresh kills.
Good point, beautiful . . . but yet, remember who you are working for.
What, you think I'm working for you!? NEVER! Get that through your thick skull, clown!
Keep thinking that, honey.
Citegrene began to stagger through the snow, fury in her veins. She felt like a pawn; the voice kept whispering in her mind, and there was nothing she could do about it. And, unfortunately, he knew that, too. Citegrene was past the point of resisting; it wasted too much energy. Now, all she could do was focus on something other than Rekoj's sadistic thoughts.
The snow was deep and Citegrene continually sank in up to her chest, but that made her all the more furious in her attempts to cross the snowy plains. Pain and hate raged within her. Citegrene hated the world and all its cruelties; Citegrene hated the mere stray thought of Paradise, or Tor and Fenris; Citegrene loathed Rekoj so much that it drew her to him with an unnatural attractiveness. That made her hate him even more.
As Citegrene leaped through the snow drifts, the winds picked up to immense gales, whistling past the she-wolf's ears. She folded them back and tried to stay close to the snowy ground, but the chill still pierced her coat. Hunger gnawed at her stomach. She ignored it in pursuit of the valley's shelter. Slowly, the drifts became deeper and deeper, so when she finally crossed the final ten feet to the opening between mountains, the snow was up to her shoulders.
Citegrene let loose a growl of irritation when she sprang from the last of the deep drifts and into shallower banks, shaking excess globules of snow from her pelt. "Finally." Apparently, the Balkar had already been here to dig out the path, but their scent faded into nothingness as she sniffed around. Odd. She ventured farther into the valley.
The stone walls were tall and steep-sided, throwing the entire valley into a perpetual twilight. As Citegrene stalked through the bare trees, snow randomly cascaded down from boughs, occasionally slamming onto her pelt. She grumbled incoherently and kept walking. After a while, the woods began to thin, and the faint scent of lupine drifted through the air. Citegrene sniffed, growled to herself, then suddenly dashed forward.
She was exhausted, but it mattered naught. The trees zipped past in a blur, lashing out at Citegrene's face with their stinging branches. Each strike made pain streak into her skull, but her eyes squinted in determination.
"What the – You there! Halt!"
Citegrene streaked right past the male, her fur brushing against his as collision warnings went off in her brain. When another stepped forward to block her path, she slammed her feet into the snow, white flurries flying in all directions.
"It's her!" Hushed whispers erupted all around as Citegrene spun in a circle, snarling at each face. Their very sight made her sick. They knew nothing of the cruel world, with their smug faces and sleek pelts. How dare they hinder her journey even a mere second. How dare they! Her eyes locked onto the tan wolf first, and a sudden sense of déjà vu overwhelmed her.
"You . . . come here." His ears folded to his head as he slunk forward, head low in submission. She could smell the fear emanating from him, but none of the other males made any attempt to counteract her command.
"What your name?"
"Keem . . . . . . ma'am . . ." Citegrene stretched to sniff the top of his head as he came within reach, then snorted from the stench that burnt her nostrils. The male withdrew in surprise.
"You have brother?"
Confusion lit his eyes as he raised his head and nodded, his bright eyes looking questioningly at Citegrene. She contemplated what to do next, then gave in as a mean thought formed in her mind.
"Dead. I killed him."
"Wha . . . wha . . . what!?" Keem wailed, his face consumed with horror and shock. His terror-filled amber orbs never left Citegrene's, even when he bumped into a fellow Balkar male in his attempt to get away from Citegrene. A gap was made for the young wolf, who then disappeared behind a mass of furry pelts. His pain-wracked cries pierced the sky.
The she-wolf felt amused by Keem's reaction, and the corners of her mouth twitched in a smile. Even more interesting was how the other Balkar males stared at her blankly. It was obvious they were hiding their true emotions, but she wondered why.
One dusty brown male started forward, his expression unreadable. He walked with a tense gait, that of one bearing the heavy burden of leadership.
"Now you want me as leader? Am I worthy to be First Wolf?" Citegrene spat onto the ground. Her dirty fur bristled in all directions as the brown male neared. Her anger
He halted naught three tails lengths from Citegrene, and gingerly sat on his haunches, as if he were years older than his youthful age. It was obvious that he had been carrying the heavy burden of leadership for a while.
His breath came out in a sigh as he looked towards the wind, then slowly closed his eyes. The breeze ruffled through his fur, the guard hairs gently swaying to and fro. He sighed once more before growling, "You are our only hope. The Balkar . . . won't take anyone else as First Wolf. We've been waiting for you for a long time."
"Everyone always waiting . . . Why want me!?"
Citegrene . . . think about what you are doing. Accept the offer.
"Because you are the only one who can save us."
Citegrene's anger level was rising. "From who!? Rekoj? If he here, find someone else to save you!"
Citegrene . . .
"No . . . there are things far more dangerous than Rekoj. Compared to them, Rekoj is just another thug with aimless intentions."
"Than who!?"
The Dragga turned away, pain carved into his features.
Citegrene snarled viciously. "If won't tell, than I won't come . . ."
Citegrene! Think about what you are throwing away!
Oh, shut up! You aren't the one making this decision!
"Please . . . you'll find out soon enough, with the way the world is now."
Citegrene! Obey me. The voice in her head was deeper now. A lot deeper. It held an ancient power long hidden from Citegrene's knowledge. She mentally drew back in fear.
The brown male could see the terror and indecision in her eyes, and silently waited for her to answer. Citegrene stalled, but fear of another encounter with the bass voice scared her into saying one simple word.
"Fine."
The Balkar howled in delight, an uproarious sound that echoed across the valley. All except Keem and the brown male; one still cowered with horror and the other stood up, a cool collective air about him.
"Come . . . let's go." The dusty brown male led the Balkar and Citegrene down a worn trail hidden between tree trunks. O'er hill and snow-covered heather they traveled, a steady effortless trot that made the miles melt away. Conversation was sparse, but an air of excitement permeated everything. Some even whittled its way into Citegrene's soul as she pointedly tried to forget the resonating whispers of the voice's last utterance. It had been said with such power . . .
Freezing rain began to softly pour from the bleak clouds above. Wherever it touched Citegrene's pelt, it stuck to the tips of her hairs and froze. The shards that managed to hit her bare skin melted, then turned to ice once more as they dripped off of her fur. Citegrene tried to stifle her shivers as she trotted alongside the other wolves, who showed no signs of the cold despite their thin pelts.
The air in the valley was unnaturally still. Citegrene could barely smell the wolf scents around her, despite her close proximity to the eight males. She watched as their breath huffed out in clouds that hung motionless the air, frozen as if time itself had stopped. It was warmer here, in this valley, protected by the mighty mountains on either side, but Citegrene still felt a chill wriggle down her spine. There was always something there, in the back of her mind, watching over everything she did, seeing everything she saw, hearing everything she heard, listening to her every thoughts with an unreadable emotion. The creature in her mind couldn't possibly be Rekoj . . . could it?
Citegrene growled to herself, then glared at the brown wolf as he glanced at her questioningly. He was young . . . too young to have to endure the hardships of leading a pack on his own. She was sure of it, now. He must have been leading the Balkar ever since Rekoj left. That traitorous mutt. Her lip curled in a snarl, and she pushed harder through the trees, surpassing her escorts until she was directly behind the brown wolf.
Citegrene and company broke through the last of the trees. She was forced to stop lest she bash her muzzle on the brown wolf's flank as he padded quickly to a halt. Her temper flared, but for once she refused to be succumbed by it. Now was not the time to let anger overshadow her decisions.
The brown wolf had stopped right before a small ledge. Its stone form jutted out into the cloudy sky, piercing the gray with a rusty red. Citegrene stepped onto the precipice, feeling the icy rain fall from the clouds land on her fur, feeling the smooth rock beneath her paws.
The valley below curved down through a mountain pass, almost as if it were a river carving through the ancient stone. A massive forest of bare-limbed trees dominated the valley that spread out below her. Small and glinting silver, a winding stream was visible through the branches. Suddenly, Citegrene felt someone beside her, and turned to see the brown wolf. He raised his head and cried to the cloudy sky, frost billowing from his muzzle.
"Balkar; heed my call. The First Wolf has arrived! Come, young and old, and welcome your new leader! Welcome your savior, the Gold-Pelted One!"
Whispers erupted from the forest. Citegrene craned her neck over the ledge to stare at the trees a hundred feet below her, cast in the shadow of the clouds. Black shapes were visible in the darkness, weaving through the trunks towards the clearing beneath Citegrene's ledge. Some wolves emerged quickly from the forest to sit in the open; others stayed back in the trees, their eyes flashing warily.
What is going on here . . . Citegrene thought to herself, her eyes widening in surprise as she saw a gray pup totter into the open, only to be grabbed by his mother and set by a stump. There were Drappas and pups here . . . but the Balkar didn't allow females or young in their ranks. Citegrene earnestly watched the wolves continuously file from the forest, until there were well over 200 wolves gazing up at her from below.
"I can tell that you are surprised, but, please, don't turn the others away. This is the only place they have left. Please . . . this is their sanctuary."
Citegrene gazed into the faces of each wolf. The fervent hope in their eyes made her stomach knot painfully. They trusted her . . . On her way traveling to this rocky outpost, she had been entertaining numerous evil intentions to put the Balkar in their place. After all, they had willingly served Rekoj and had done nothing about it. But . . . there were pups here. She felt a horrible guilt in her chest for being given the opportunity to control the lives of these Varg . . . They shouldn't have offered it in the first place! Of course any Varg would be corrupt if they played god with the lives of over 200 wolves!
The one that had been reprimanded by its mother hid behind the protective barrier of her legs. Its tail was visible as it wagged happily, and it peeked up at Citegrene with wide, blue eyes full of curiosity and innocence. Something awoke in the golden wolf . . . a feeling that burnt like fire and made her yearn for how things could have been if she hadn't been thrust into this life-consuming journey for Paradise. What a waste it had been! Oh, she yearned to have a family of her own . . . An image of frolicking pups filled her mind's eye. They tumbled over one another in a perpetual wrestling game. A small golden one, the spitting image of Citegrene, tugged on her brother's ear playfully. Their tails wagged excitedly, then they turned in unison to smile up at a faceless male wolf that stood watch over them.
Slowly, colored poured into his limbs, filling them with an olive-brown tone. The face began to paint itself with a chalky white; the eyes were circled with black; and the ever-scarred muzzle glowed red.
Rekoj grinned, his eyes boring into Citegrene's with a silent laugh.
Citegrene snapped out of her daydream, feeling her heart thump erratically against her chest. No, NO! She must never have children . . . Rekoj would never stop hunting them . . . or her.
"Citegrene . . ." the brown wolf whispered into her ear. She startled, then stared fearfully at the throng below. "They are all gathered here to see you. Say something!"
Suddenly, everything was thrust into an ocean of blue. Shafts of effervescent moonlight pierced the snow covered ground, reflecting in brilliant shades of whitish cerulean. The gathered wolves were cast into molds of pale azure, their eyes glinting from the moon's glow. The pup hiding behind his mother's leg took a step into the light, gazing around at the snow in delighted wonder.
Citegrene gazed up into the bluish light of the full moon. It was so large tonight. Her blue orbs reflected its white surface, and she felt a great strength course through her. Her limbs filled with power, and she sensed the consciousness in the back of her mind stir. The excitement must have woken it, or else it had been watching all along. But it didn't matter. Citegrene fell into the current of instinct as she reared her head back and howled in unison with the voice that now roared in her mind.
"I . . . am . . . god."