Danny Phantom

Road to Ghost Hell (Also Known As "Danny Phantom's Totally Awesome and Yet Strangely Queer Crossover Special")

Chapter 1: Traumatized

A/N: For those of you who are planning to watch the 10 year special of 'The Powerpuff Girls', do not get your hopes up. I saw it online, and although the graphics were slick and the storyline was great, I personally felt it was rushed and it didn't really capture the essance of a real milestone special. But again, that's just my opinion. Despite what I said last chapter, it really wasn't that bad. It just takes a little time to appreciate the hard work the PPG crew put into this special. But still, once you see it, I'm 99.9% positive that you'll think to yourself 'What the f-They take this show off the air for 2 1/2 years and this is the best they could come up with in 22 minutes?'

TV-PG-DLV (This story is rated for some excessive violence, and a bit of inappropriate profanity)

That same morning, Danielle was up in the opt-center, in the guest room, trying to get to sleep. But she was tossing and turning all over the place, but not because she was having a nightmare. No, this time it was simply because her mattress was too lumpy. So she jumped out of bed and lifted up her mattress, revealing thousands of little rocks, at least 10 pounds worth of rocks, taking up the space in her mattress.

She emptied the mattress of the rocks and then climbed back into bed. Lucky for her, the dreaded tragedy of that fateful night would not haunt her for that time.

Meanwhile, out on the roads, Jack Fenton was driving his SUV around the city, looking for any ghosts that might be causing any trouble to lighten the load on Danny.

Lately, the ghost activity was much lower than normal since they all pitched in to save the Earth from the Disasteroid. Though they still had a rivalry with Danny, they decided it wasn't worth all that extra trouble to hunt him down and kill him.

For about an hour, Jack drove around, looking for ghosts that might have the slightest motive to harm Danny. But, the streets were clean of any activity....

CRASH!!

...ghost activity.

But while Jack wasn't looking, he tried to slam onto the breaks before he hit an oncoming red sedan. But it was to no avail and the two cars slammed into each other. Though Jack and the other car weren't going any faster than 25 mph, it was still a pretty bad crash, with the fronts of both cars damaged, and both drivers upset.

The driver of the red sedan was revealed to be a fat person, no taller than 5'11'', white shirt, green pants, brown shoes, glasses, brown hair, just your average, everyday working man with a possible brain tumor.

"Hey, are you alright?" Jack asked the other guy.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. My car ain't lookin' too fine, but it's not that one that needs to urinate every 5 hours." The other person replied, wiping the sweat from his eyebrows.

"What happened?"

"Oh, some idiot robbed my car of its brakes. I gotta tell you, they musta been really sneaky, 'cause almost nothing gets past me, especially when I'm doing something very important..."

(Cue Cutaway)

We cut to that very man, sitting in his house, watching TV and drinking a Pawtucket Patriot. He was watching the show 'Three's Company, with the volume up pretty high. Meanwhile, the whole time, there was someone outside, preferably, two of Danny Phantom's arch-enemies, Skulker, the ghost hunter, and Technus, the technical douche who always shouts out his plans.

While they began rummaging through, the fat guy turned up the volume on his TV to block out the noise, while Skulker and Technus ran away with the breaks and the cleft of his car.

(End Cutaway)

"Ooh, sorry to hear that. You know, just the other day, somebody robbed my refrigerator. But then again, I do have a giant appetite..oh well, nothing of any importance I need to worry about now. Anyway, I gotta go."

"What!? W-Why? Oh god, are you having another appetite attack again? Oh god!"

"No, I gotta-wait, what?"

"Y-You know? An-An appetite attack? 'Ca-Cause you're really fat?" Jack looked at the man funny. He was actually quite offended at this. "You know..fat guys get hungry more often than normal weight people. Y-You'd think with all that fat they'd come from Alaska? But the only place I saw them coming from are from lesbians?" But with that joke, the two fat men were off on an outrageous laughing fit. The two slapped their knees in enjoyment. "Ha! Oh, and get this? Why do people 'chew' bubblegum instead of 'suck' it?"

"I give up. Why?"

"Cause it already sucks enough. AHHH HAA!"

The two men continued laughing hysterically for about 3 and a half minutes. Then the two wiped away several tears that might've gone down their faces, and calmed down quickly.

"O-Oh boy. Dude, you are too funny. Oh god, I haven't heard jokes like those in years. Ja-Jack Fenton." Jack replied in between laughs, holding out his hand to shake.

"Peter Griffin." The two men shook hands. "Oh boy, you are funny."

"Yeah, you too. You from around here?"

"No no, I live a few towns over in Quahog."

"Quahog, Quahog. Isn't that in Rhode Island?"

"Oh. Oh, well...well what state is this? I- Thought, I thought this was Rhode Island?"

"Well, actually, we're in...oh, you know what, who cares, right? We're just two fat guys living it up, right? Ha, oh fat guys. I'm good. Anyway, I really gotta go."

"Why? W-We just met. And besides, you don't even have a car."

"That's right. I don't. I have an SUV, though. HA!" And the two broke out into laughter once again, though this one was shorter than before. "No, seriously though. I need to get going. And I've got myself a scooter." Jack went into the trunk of the car and pulled out a very small electric scooter that was equipped for a man of his weight. "Don't you worry about me."

"Well, what do ya have to do? Maybe I can help."

"Well, I have to go to my lawyer's office and get these adoption papers certified." Jack took out a bunch of papers and showed them to Peter. "I just found out of that I have an 'estranged' daughter that I've never seen in my life before, which I will explain later to you if I get the chance, and she's been living on the streets for years."

"Wow, that-I'm sorry, Jack. But that's gotta suck."

"It did for her. It's given her nightmares, and it's stressing her out like crazy. Maybe this'll help her relax a little."

"Wow, that's great. What's his name?"

"Um...Pee-wee."

"What!? Oh my go-you're kidding!? Pee-Wee!? You got that bastard!?"

"Why? What's wrong with him?"

"Dude, what the hell isn't wrong with him? Do you know he's been arrested? And by law, he isn't even allowed to get a job on the government side?"

"No, I did not."

"But listen, bro. I know an awesome lawyer back in Quahog and he'd be willing to take your case. He loves adoption cases."

"Really? Cool."

"Yeah. He also loves Scotch."

"Oh."

"Yeah. But like I said, he'd been willing to take your case. Here's his card." Peter handed Jack a little business card that read 'Jay McGraw, specialist in adoption'. His number was 297-8304

"Wow, you have his card. And a picture of him on the back. He a friend of yours?"

"No, he's my parole officer."

Jack stood in silence. "Parole officer?"

"Yeah, don't know how the hell that happened."

"Wait, so y-you mean, you mean you've been to jail before."

"Four times, as a matter of fact. But you're bored, so I'll bore you even more another day when we're more acquainted and when it's not that close to 'Full House', and the fact that as I'm speaking to you right here, I'm breaking parole." And with that, the fat guy in the white shirt left the scene to leave Jack to stand there in some sort of confusion.

Over on the other side of town, over at the Amity Park clinic office, Danielle, Maddie, Danny, and Jazz awaited for Danielle's first ever physical exam. Danielle was a nervous wreck. She was never taught by Vlad what a physical exam was. The closest she ever got to one was being strapped to an examination table and being observed to see how her remains could be used for another Danny clone.

"I'm so nervous." Danielle whispered to Maddie.

"Don't be dear. They're just going to see how healthy you are. And if they're any problems, we'll deal with them." Maddie assured, patting Danielle's shoulder, trying unsuccessfully to calm her down.

It was a long 20 minute wait before Danielle was finally called in. "Fenton, Danielle?" A slightly portly doctor with a mustache called.

The family helped the shaken little girl into the doctor's office. "Danielle Fenton. Nice to finally meet you." The doctor took a firm grip of Danielle's hand and shook it. "I'm Dr. Hartman, and I will be administering the exam for you. We'll get started right away."

"We'll be outside if you need us for anything." Jazz assured as she, Danny, and Maddie walked out, leaving her alone with the doctor.

"Alright, Danielle, now if you'll jus step up onto this scale, I can measure your height and weight." Danielle did as told. She stepped onto the scale, as Dr. Hartman broguh down slowly a metal bar down to the tip of her head, measuring her height. Then he measured her weight. Danielle was scared the entire time, but Dr. Hartman assured her there was nothing to worry about. "Alright then. 4'8'', and 82 lbs. Hmm, that's a little bit low for someone of your height. But I see no reason for panic."

He helped her off the scale and back to the examination table, where he sat her down and examined her eyes, which were a little bloodshot, but no infection. Her ears also checked out negative.

Though her throat measured differently. It measured a strong positive for strep, and he noticed when he used his stethoscope that her heart was beating at a very fast pace, and that her lungs weren't working as well as they should be. He also took a small sample of her blood to test for any blood infections that might explain the nightmares, and the reason she is stuck in her ghost form.

Through many tests and through two tough hours, they were finally complete. Dr. Hartman brought Danny, Jazz, and Maddie into his office to discuss the results. They were in for one hell of a rude awakening.

"So, Doctor, how is our little girl? Healthy as an apple, I assume." Maddie said smugly, though Jazz and Danny knew better.

"Well, if you think she's a healthy little pumpkin, get ready to do some cryin'." He replied back, also smugly.

"W-What do you mean?"

"Well, I performed the full exam on her. Her eyes and ears checked out fine. Her blooded test no for infections. But she did test positive for strep throat."

"Oh dear me."

"Yes, and she also checked in a little on the underweight side. Is she getting in enough calories?"

"Well, we'd assume no since up until 2 days ago, she's been on the streets." Danny replied before Maddie could say something that might've screwed them over

"Well, that's a big thing. Calorie intake. Make sure you increase it so she doesn't go into starvation."

"Done."

"I also checked her heart & lungs, and I must say I was a bit perplexed by what I observed. Her heart rate measured a resting pace of 103 beats a minute, well over the normal pace. And her lungs weren't working properly. They were much smaller than a normal set of lungs which could explain her trouble breathing."

"Oh my god-"

"Now, you said that she experienced a traumatic past experience?"

"Yes, that's correct."

"Well, my guess here is that she has no medical cause for these things to be happening to her. It's all stress related. When she went through her traumatizing experience, she somehow convinced herself she was the cause of it happening in the first place. See, when a person suffers stress, there is usually an X factor that is the cause of it, and hers is the traumatic experience she went through. That, in turn, causes the body to react in a certain way, which varies for each individual. For Danielle, it is causing her organs to slowly shut down. Her arteries are clogging, her heart is working more, causing her lungs, brain, kidneys to work harder than ever, which could explain the fatigue & fever."

"So what do you suggest we do?"

"Well right now, I'd suggest trying to comfort her as much as possible. Take her mind off of her experience. Maybe that'll calm her down. Otherwise, if her stress levels continue growing at this alarming pace, I fear it will take a toll on her heart and eventually cause it to stop completely."

"Well that sounds painful, but it also sounds like it could take a while." Jazz informed, with worry in her voice.

"I'm afraid it's the only way to reverse this. But, if that doesn't work, you could always join the circus. I hear Andy Dick stopped visiting those things." Dr. Hartman's face suddenly face fell when he realized what he just said. "Oh god, bad doctor!" He hit himself in the head. "Bad doctor! Pull yourself together, Hartman! You don't want to end up in another lawsuit like you did with O.J. Simpson."

So later that day, they all returned home. Danielle went right to bed, put on clean P.J's, and went to sleep in the bed in the guest room of the opt-center.

When Jack returned later that day, he sat down with Maddie, Jazz, and Danny about the adoption papers.

"So Jack, how'd it go?"

"Well, so far so good. My lawyer might've been fake, but the adoption papers aren't. I think we could pull this off after all."

So after that long meeting, the whole family went up to the opt center with the adoption papers. They gently awoke Danielle from a somewhat peaceful nap.

"Oh Danielle, we've got a surprise for you." Danny said in a sing-song tone, handing her the folder with the papers in them. Obviously, she was in no mood for surprises. But, her attitude quickly changed once she saw the papers.

"Ad-Adoption papers!? What in the world is this!?"

"Well, Dani, the family's been talking," Jack started.

"-and we just couldn't sit back and watch you suffer just over a little mistake you made." Jazz continued.

"And there's no way in hell we're letting you go back onto those streets to fend for yourself!" Danny continued, a mixture of anger, sympathy, and hope in his voice.

"So we all pitched in and we're making your certification into our family official. When this is all over, you'll officially be a Fenton, with a brother & sister & two parents who care enough for you to make sure you have a healthy & happy life."

"Really!?"

"Yep!"

Danielle held the papers close to her heart. This meant more to her than anyone could ever imagine. She dashed over to them and gave them each a big, warm bear hug. "Oh thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! You don't know what this means to me! I-"

"Whoa there, kiddo." Jack halted, grabbing the ecto-brat and putting her on the ground to relax. "It's not official yet. That...that was the other part of the news."

"What news?" Danny asked his father.

"We...kind of need to move out of Amity Park..."

"What!?" Jazz yelled.

"Jack!" Maddie screamed.

"Are you outta your ghost-hunting, gun-making, goddamn mind!?" Danny mouthed in rage, but then covered his mouth when he realized what he had said, though the family didn't pay attention.

"Look, it-it's not for good. But, it's just, uh...well, my lawyer sucked. Turns out it was pee-wee."

"What!?"

"Ah, dad! Pee-Wee!?" Danny once again yelled. "How'd you get stuck with that queer!?"

"Don't ask, Danny. Anyway, I found a new lawyer and he can take our case. In a couple of weeks, Danielle will be an official Fenton and everything will be as normal as it can get here."

"Great. But, uh...where are we going?" Danielle asked her 'father', who suddenly caught himself off-guard. He had forgotten where they needed to move. Well, actually, he hadn't forgotten, but he was unsure how to tell them.

End of Chapter 1!

Next Time: Chapter 2! The Fentons set out on a cross-country adventure to the most dysfunctional town in the USA, and meet up with the most dysfunctional family of our time.

Expected Update: Well, since I got done in just under 4 days, I'll make the due date December 18th, or thirteen days.