Christmas Special Updater

Christmas Movies; Akatsuki Style! (A Naruto Crack Story) CH 2


Wow…I got a lot of reviews! *sob* I'm so happy everyone is laughing along with the Akatsuki.

Cheeky half-demon: Yay! I'm glad you like it! Thanks for being my first reviewer~!

mogmoogle: Thanks for the review! ^w^ I'm glad you like it

ninja(I forget the rest of your user name, I'm sooooo sorry~): Ha-ha! Thanks! I love writing it, so I'm glad you're enjoying reading it! Thanks for the review!

Thanks to AkatsukisNumber1fangirl for the alert, cheeky half-demon for the alert, and mogmoogle for the alerts and the favorite!

Now, for your enjoyment…KISAME THE SNOWMAN! :D

A creepy grin crosses Hoshigaki Kisame's face. He is SO looking forward to the filming of the movie. He's decked out in a snowman suit that was pure white and so blinding it made the snow falling in the Rain Village look pale. A top hat is on his already tell head and 'coal' buttons are on the front of the snowman suit. A fake carrot is tied around his head to finish off the geeky look.

"Let's go Kisame," Pein says diffidently with a sigh.

"I'm coming," He says opening the door and ducking so he doesn't knock his hat off. "This is kinda fun," His leader's eyebrow twitches a little as they start to walk toward where the children have gathered.

"…Fun?"

"Yeah," He says with a pointy grin. "I get to run around and scare small children. What could be more fun than that?"

"Having enough money to support ourselves and being able to actually get some work done that's relevant to our real goal,"

"…"

"That's kind of harsh, Leader-sama,"

"…"

"…"

"If you weren't so d**n good at killing people you'd be fired,"

"I'm honored by your compliment, sir," He says dryly rolling his eyes. The leader grunts and crosses his arms as they get to the courtyard. A group of small children are waiting there with an elderly old woman herding them around and keeping them in a relatively small group.

"Have I mentioned I hate kids?" Pein asks sarcastically when the kids stop, look at him, and scream.

"Scary old man!"

"Yeah, he's really scary!" His eye twitches a little.

"I'm not old. I'm not even thirty yet," He says in a low voice.

"Sorry grandpa," They chorus making his eye twitch again.

"Are they this disrespectful to everyone or am I special because I can kill them easily?" He asks the woman. She snorts.

"Don't be so egoistic. They're like this to everyone they meet. Kira, Daisuke, Hina, Haruka, Chou, and Junko," She adds pointing out each of the kids. Three boys, three girls. All around the age of six. Kisame grins pointedly.

"Annoying little brats aren't they? Can I kill them once we're finished? Zetsu's getting hungry again," He says with another pointy grin. That doesn't faze them at all.

"You can't kill us!" Kira says narrowing his eyes.

"Yeah! Dad'd be really, really mad!" Chou adds punching the air happily. "He'd kill YOU!" She adds gleefully.

"Pleasant little brats," Pein says glaring a little. "Let's get this over with. I've got a lot of work to do,"

"Whose the unfortunate b*****d?" The shark man asks as the kids run around like chicken with their heads chopped off again.

"A very rich daimyo in the neighboring countryside. He's paying us handsomely to watch his children," He says with a sigh.

"I thought we were mercenaries, not babysitters," He says shifting the Samehada uncomfortably.

"That's what I've been thinking for the last hour," Pein says with an evil glint in his eye.

"Let's get this over with," Kisame says pulling the nose back over his nose. Tobi comes out and gasps excitedly.

"New friends for Tobi! Tobi likes new friends! Tobi is a good boy!" He says clapping and jumping.

"Shut up, Tobi, yeah," Deidara says molding the clay in his hand. The kids gape at him.

"You're really pretty!" Hina says, eyes round. "How do you get your hair like that?" He glares.

"I'm not pretty, I'm hot. Or handsome. Not pretty,"

"Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty!" The kids chant happily. His eyebrow twitches and he cracks his knuckles.

"Alright, alright, leave the pretty man alone now," The old lady says with a sigh. "Your father wouldn't be happy with your behavior right now,"

"What Dad doesn't know won't hurt them!" Junko says grinning the same grin his father does. Her eye twitches as well.

Why am I stuck with these kids all day? She thinks resisting the urge to kill them. If they were anyone else's kids I would have hired someone to kill them already. She sighs and puts a hand over her eyes.

"Okay kiddies!" Kakuzu says clapping his hands together. "Time for the movie,"

"YAY!" They all yell, glomping him like they would a favorite uncle. He blinks and gingerly pulls them off with his threads.

"Please refrain from touching me,"

"Kay!" They say wiggling free and going to get on their 'winter' clothes. Pein rolls his eyes and makes it start snowing. Zetsu comes out with the camera and they start filming.

"Let's go make a snowman!" Chou says and the other kids agree happily. They 'make' Kisame and put the nose on him again.

"Found a hat!" Junko runs up and skids to a stop, knocking over Hina and Daisuke in the process.

"HEY!" They both yell and start arguing as he puts the hat on Kisame's head, having to jump a few times in order to reach.

"You coulda stopped faster!" Hina says and Haruka slaps Junko on the back of the head.

"Hey what was that for?!"

"That was for being stupid!"

"Why you little-"

"You're littler than me! I'm older!"

"DIE!" A cloud of dust appears and soon all the kids are in it fighting anyone they can.

"Hey, hey cut it out-" Kisame starts as he 'comes alive'.

"AAAAH! A BIG SCARY BLUE SNOWMAN! RUN AWAY!" They yell and run.

"This isn't part of the movie!" He runs after them, quickly gaining.

"KYAAA! HELP US TSUCHI-OBAA-CHAN!" The old woman perks up hearing her name. She cracks her knuckles and tackles the swordsman.

"What do you think you're doing to them?!" She asks beating down on him ruthlessly with her purse.

"Hey! Stop it crazy b***h! This was supposed to be part of the script!"

"DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO TOUCH THOSE CHILDREN!"

"I'M NOT! THAT WOULD BE OROCHIMAR~! HE'S ALREADY GOTTEN ITACHI-SAN'S YOUNGER BROTHER!"

"DIE B*****D!" Zetsu starts laughing from behind the camera.

"D**n this is priceless!" His dark side laughs as his white side tries to hold back a snicker. "Poor Kisame-san," The woman stops her assault when her walkie-talkie rings.

"Hello?...Oh yes sir…Yes sir we're having a lot of fun. What? No, no, I just chased the children around the yard… Yes sir they're fine… Yes sir… Of course sir…Thank you as well. Bye," She hangs up and gets off Kisame. She riffles around in her purse, pulling out a small pouch of money. "Hikaru-sama thanks you for watching his children. The payment is inside," She tosses it to Kakuzu, who quickly counts the money and nods.

"It was our pleasure. We should do this again some time,"

"NO WAY!" Kisame yells picking himself up and nursing a black eye.

"Bye-bye!" The kids wave sweetly and start running toward the carriage coming to pick them up. Pein looks around and surveys the damage.

"Did they pay us well?" Kakuzu nods.

"Very,"

"Good. We're going to double the rates if we ever do this again,"

"Of course," The courtyard is in shambles and Kisame is well bruised.

"Suck it up, it's all battle scars, yeah," Deidara says raising one eyebrow.

"I hate you all,"