Christmas Movies; Akatsuki Style! (A Naruto Crack Story) CH 3
Now it's time for Christmas Movies; Akatsuki Style…How Itachi Stole Christmas! Thanks to Adeisa for the alert, XxSmokexSignalsxX for the alert and xiceyxtee for the favorite!
cheeky half-demon: It had to be done, hon!
XxSmokexSignalsxX: Ha-ha thanks!
Itachi's eye twitches a little. He sighs and covers his eyes with one pale hand.
This is not what I signed up for when I agreed to join the Akatsuki.
What has caused all this misfortune for everyone's favorite Uchiha? Let's pan the camera back and take a good look at what's going on.
Cue camera pan.
Alright, Itachi is wearing a torn up red Santa suit. The hat on his head is crooked and he's glaring. Hidan is standing next to him in a dog costume. There's a branch tied to his head and he's giving murderous glares at everyone who dares to look at him. The living room is torn up and Tobi is in footy pajamas, standing in front of a tastefully decorated Christmas…Zetsu.
"Laugh and we'll kill you," Both of his sides growl as his black side's eye twitches. Angel steps into the scene and pulls out a huge remote. She presses the rewind button until it goes back to that morning. She grins, flashes a peace sign, and steps back to her place at her laptop.
"Good news," Kakuzu says as he sits at the huge kitchen table. "We've made a lot of money from those two videos we made. Apparently, there's something we're doing called 'spoof' that people are going crazy for,"
"Does that mean we're stopping?" Kisame asks a black eye still visible.
"Nope," He says with a twisted grin behind his mask. "That means we're going to make a few more!"
Groans all around.
"Shut up, ya whiners. We're almost done. Two more videos and we're done,"
More groans. His eyebrow twitches and he looks down at the clipboard his report on the movie had been on.
"Our next movie is How Itachi Stole Christmas, lucky Itachi," He says sarcastically as he looks back down at the clipboard. Itachi almost spits out his tea.
"Excuse me?" He asks regaining his composure quickly, but a glare still apparent.
"You heard me," He says not looking up. Itachi's eyebrow twitches and a small sigh escapes his lips.
"Great," A few hours later the group is gathered in the living room, which has been made to look like a cave over looking a small town thanks to a genjutsu. Konan has taken the camera and Pein is playing narrator. It was going to be Hidan but he was 'casted' to play Max the dog.
"Action," Konan says turning the recording device on.
"Once upon a time, there was a grouchy man named Itachi who lived above the town of Whoville," Itachi crosses his arms and leers down at the village. "He was a very sour man, and Christmas was his least favorite time of the year,"
"I hate Christmas," He says grumpily.
"He looked down to Whoville to see all the singing and happiness and all the noise. He hated noise as well."
"I hate noise. I hate singing. I hate happiness," Pein's eyebrow twitches.
"One day he was brooding in his cave,"
Itachi starts pacing.
"when he got an idea. A wonderfully awful idea. A horribly wonderfully awful idea,"
"I have an idea," He says monotonously. Pein shoots him a glare and he raises one of his eyebrows. "I'm going to sneak down to Whoville on Christmas Eve and steal all of their presents,"
"And so he made himself a jolly Santa suit out of the curtains and a sleigh out of things he had around his cave." Itachi blinks once then steps out of the shot for a few seconds. He comes back with the suit on and pulling in a sleigh with a bag for the presents in the back. "He called his loyal dog Hidan and tied a branch to his head to make him look like a reindeer."
"Come here Hidan," He says glaring a little.
"No," The immortal says from the side.
"Hidan come here,"
"F**k no. I look stupid," Konan sighs and keeps the camera trained on Itachi as she goes over to Hidan. She gets behind him and punts him out onto the 'stage'.
"Good dog," Itachi says sarcastically. Hidan's dressed in a dog costume and has a branch tied to his head. He flips him off.
"F**k you c********r."
"That's going to have to be edited out," Kakuzu says and Pein nods.
"Agreed," He clears his throat and continues reading. "And so on Christmas Eve they went down to Whoville to steal all the presents," Itachi gets in the sleigh, hooks Hidan up, and takes the reigns.
"Mush,"
"F**k you," He says as the 'scenery' moves to make it look like they're moving.
"He went from house to house and stole all the presents from under the trees and all the food from the ice box. What an evil, grinchly thing to do!"
"Yay" Itachi says tonelessly as he puts the fake food into his bag and throws it back onto the sleigh, 'accidentally' knocking Hidan out in the process. "Whoops,"
"Everything went well until he got to Tobi Lou Who's house. He was clearing everything out from under the tree when a small voice came from behind him," Zetsu is decorated to serve as the tree, seeing as Kakuzu is too cheap to let them buy a real tree.
"Why Santa Clause, why are you stealing all our presents?" Tobi asks cutely shuffling into the shot in his footy pajamas. When the video came out, people would be squealing everywhere.
"Being the clever man he is, the grinchly Itachi smiled a sweet smile and said"
"I'm not stealing your presents, these ones just suck. I'm taking them so I can get you better ones,"
"Oh… okay," Tobi grins behind his mask and turns around to go back up to bed.
"YOU F**KING B*****D! YOU KO'D ME! I'LL KILL YOU!" Hidan roars storming into the shot and promptly tackling the Uchiha. A cloud of dust surrounds them as a fight breaks out. It sounds a lot like a cat fight, growls and snarls coming from inside the cloud.
"TOBI TO THE RESCUE!" He tries to jump in but is easily kicked out.
"STAY OUT OF THIS TOBI!" They both yell and go back to beating the crap out of each other.
"Another video ruined," Pein says pinching the bridge of his nose with a sigh. Kakuzu giggles in a manly way.
"Ruined? This is how we earn our money!" He chuckles