So third chappy posted, only one more to go after this one...hope everyone is enjoying the story!! Please let me know what you think cause i really do live for the funny and reviews!! Bambers;)
Chapter Three
"How do you know where she is?" Dean asked, helping his little brother out of the corn field.
They followed Sam to the car, and once they were all seated, Sam explained what information he had gathered from Glinda while she had tied him to the post. "She'd cast a spell on the Good Witch of the West, turning her evil and ugly, and then just sat back and waited for someone to finish her off."
"So, all this time the bad Witch was the good Witch and the good Witch was the bad Witch." Dean lifted a brow in utter confusion.
"Yeah, that's why there was holy water in the bucket that you were suppose to throw at her."
"Huh, that actually makes sense, in some weird twisted sorta way." Dean glanced over his shoulder at Bobby and Ash. "Are you two as lost as I am, cause I'm not understanding why I should love this story."
"You didn't kill the Wicked Witch of the West, Dean," Sam said as if the answer should be obvious. "There wasn't enough holy water in your flask to finish off the job, so now Glinda's holding her prisoner at her castle."
"Which is the castle we thought belonged to the Wicked Witch of the West."
"Exactly." Sam smiled.
"So, how do we kill off Glinda and save the Wicked Witch." Dean heaved a groan, scrubbing a hand across his face. "How many kinds of crazy did that just sound?"
"Buckets of crazy," Ash chimed in with a laugh. "But I always did question yours and Sam's sanity so it kinda makes perfect sense."
"We break into the castle," Sam went on to say as Bobby elbowed the lion in the rib cage, "Find the Wicked Witch and give her back her ruby slippers . . . or in this case, ruby boots."
"An' that'll break the spell she's under?"
"It should." Sam gave a curt nod, and grimaced as straw fell from his hat to cover his lap. "It's why she's been trying to get them for so long. Glinda gave them to the Wicked Witch of the East for safe keeping, and then when Dorothy . . . or Dean killed her, she gave them to him."
"Cause I said I was a witch killer extraordinare, and she figured I'd kill the Wicked Witch of the West and then she could take over all of Oz."
"But then you told the Witch about the holy water in the bucket and ruined Glinda's plans."
"So, you're saying that all I have to do is give the Wicked Witch back her ruby shoes and she'll take of Glinda?"
"Uh huh." Sam grinned.
"Only one problem with that plan," Ash interjected, and pushed forward in his seat to look from Sam to Dean and then back again. "Wanna know what it is?" Both Winchesters groaned as they nodded, and Ash continued, "See, this is why you need me here. Dean pretends to be this big Oz fan, but I really just think he has this weird obsession with the Wicked Witch. An' Sam . . . well, you don't know anything about Oz, so you're kinda useless."
"Ash," all three hunters shouted in unison.
"What's wrong with the plan, Ash," Bobby gritted out, trying to keep a level tone.
"The only way you're getting those shoes off Dean's feet is if he dies. An' I'm only guessing here, but I think that's not really an option."
Sam leaned forward in his seat and looked around Ash, eyed his brother, and Dean nodded. "Okay, then we find another way to break Glinda's spell."
"Sam, Glinda has to know we're coming." Dean pushed Ash's head out of the way, and stared hard into his brother's eyes. "Hell, she hasn't really even tried to stop us."
"No way, Dean, I'm not gonna let you do this . . . they're a bunch of freakin' movie characters for Christ sakes."
"That's the problem, Sammy, I don't think they are just characters in some damn movie," Dean said with a determined set of his chin. "An' it's my fault that Glinda got her hands on the Wicked Witch in the first place."
"So you're just gonna let yourself get killed so you can save some damn witch?" Sam stared incredulously at his brother. "There has to be another way." When Dean didn't back down, he shifted in his seat to look at Bobby and Ash. "Would one of you please tell Dorothy how freakin' stupid his plan is?"
"Well," Ash rubbed his paw against hairy jaw, "There might just be another way . . . there's an ancient Oz bylaw that was set in place by the witches of old."
"And what would that be?" both Winchesters uttered simultaneously.
"I can't tell ya." Ash said with a chuckle, earning him a glare from the brothers. "But I can show ya . . . we'll just need to make a quick stop back at the Emerald City before we go to save the Wicked Witch."
"Why?" Dean quirked a brow in confusion.
"Because by Oz law, all enchanted items and the spells pertaining to them must be cataloged in the Hall of Records."
"So, by looking at the original spell we could figure out how to break it without Dean actually having to die." Bobby smiled, clapping Ash on the back.
"Something like that," Ash responded mischievously, and then shifted to look out the window.
Dean turned the Impala around and drove through the near blinding snow to the Emerald City. To the sound of fan fair, they made their way through the city and found the Hall of Records. The four Oz misfits took off in different directions, all searching for the original Ruby Slipper spell, and after several hours of searching through every record in building, Sam finally found it stashed beneath the desk in the back of the room. With everyone gathered around him, he unrolled the scroll, and read it aloud.
When Sam was finished, Ash jabbed a paw at the words on the enchantment, and grinned. "There ya go, Dorothy . . . a loophole."
"Oh, no freakin' way." Dean raked a hand through his hair as he stared at the words Ash had pointed out. "I'm not doing it."
"Oh, you're so doing it." Sam smirked as he gripped hold of one of Dean's arms and Bobby took hold of the other.
"Just drown or electrocute me, you can always bring me back," Dean tried to reason as they dragged him toward the exit of the building.
"Dean, stop being such a girl." Ash chortled loudly. "Oh, that's right," he pointed a claw at Dean's clothes, "I forgot you are a girl, Dorothy."
"I'm so gonna kill him." Dean jerked free of their hold on him and dove for Ash, but Bobby and Sam caught a hold of him before he could get to the cowering lion.
"Dean," Sam's grip tightened around Dean as he struggled to break free, "how's it gonna look if Dorothy kicks the Lion's ass in the story?"
"Oh, I dunno . . . maybe the story will take on a Stephen King kinda feel to it."
"So not gonna happen, dude," Sam said as he nudged Dean toward the door. "Let's just get this over with so we can be home for Christmas dinner."
Grudgingly, Dean followed the others out of the building, and after several stops to shops along the way, they finally left the Emerald City. Dean flung open the car door, threw the ruby boots into the back seat, and amidst the laughter of the trio, he sunk down behind the wheel.
"You all know that payback's a bitch, right?" he grumbled, turning the key in the ignition.
"It's not that bad, Dean." Sam chuckled so hard his brown burlap hat toppled off his head, scattering bits of straw all over the seat and floor.
"Sam's right," Ash said from the back seat, and then burst out laughing. "Who the hell am I kidding . . . I mean, I thought it was gonna be funny, but damn, I almost feel bad for you now."
Dean slammed a hand down on the steering wheel, then swung to glare at Bobby. "I'm sure you've got something you're just dying to add, so you might as well get it over with before we go."
"I'm not dying to do anything, Dean." Bobby raised his arms out to the sides as he feigned a look of innocence. "I'm just glad I wasn't in your shoes . . . or ruby boots as it were."
Dean flung back around his seat, threw the car into drive and sped back down the Yellow Brick Road heading toward the Witch's Castle. As Christmas morning approached, they pulled up to the mountainous road leading to the castle, and Dean killed the engine. Stuffing the Ruby Slippers in his pocket, he got out of the car, and the others followed.
They found the winding path that led up to the castle, and hid behind the same outcropping as they had the last time they were there. Their eyes widened in surprise and amusement when they saw Munchkins guarding the entrance into the castle instead of Winkies.
"I guess dressing up like them and sneaking in behind them is out of the question." Dean chuckled, and then shifted to look at Ash. "Well, except for Ash . . .think he could probably pass for a tall, really ugly Munchkin."
"Hey, I'm not short," Ash protested with an angry growl.
"But you are ugly." Dean smirked.
"So how are we gonna get in there?" Bobby said, quickly changing the subject before the two gave away their position to their enemies.
"I say we just go down there, kick a little Munchkin ass." Dean chuckled. "Ha, I just said little Munchkin ass. God, I'm hilarious even when I'm not trying to be funny."
"Why's that funny, Dean?" Sam said with an aggravated sighed.
"Well, cause they're short." Dean lowered his hand to motion that they only came up to his knees in height. "An' I said little Munchkin ass."
"You know if you have to explain a joke to everyone, it's really not funny," Ash interjected, and as Dean turned to see if Bobby thought it was even remotely funny, he let out a muffled laugh.
"So, yeah," Dean uttered dejectedly, "We go down there an' take care of those guys, find the Wicked Witch, give her back her shoes so she can take care of Glinda, an' then we can be home in time for Christmas dinner."
"Sounds like a plan." Sam nodded in agreement, and Bobby and Ash murmured their approval as well. "But this better be the best damn Christmas dinner ever, Bobby."
"This may not be the best time to mention this," Bobby lowered his head in embarrassment, "but I forgot to thaw the turkey."
"So, what are we having for dinner then?" Dean asked with a quirk of his brow.
"Ummm . . . I think I have a package of hot dogs in the freezer."
"You mean we're busting our asses to make it home in time for hot dogs?" Sam stared incredulously at Bobby. "How could you forget to take the turkey out of the freezer?"
"Yeah, Bobby, it's not like it doesn't say on the package that it has to thaw before cooking."
"Well, if two knuckleheads hadn't knocked me unconscious I would've taken it out of the freezer yesterday."
"Nice try, Bobby," Ash spoke up, "but turkeys need two to three days to thaw in the fridge." He shrugged when everyone swung to look at him. "What can I say, I'm a fount of useful information."
"Alright." Scrubbing a hand across his face, Dean heaved a sigh. "We're saving the Wicked Witch for a hot dog dinner at Bobby's."
"That sounds about right as far as Winchester Christmas' go," Sam said with a frown, and stuffed some of the loose straw back into his green, patched tunic.
"Damn, I'd really like to join you guys." Ash laughed, clapping Sam and Dean on the back. "But I think Ellen is making Prime Rib with all the trimmings."
"I hope you get your ass kicked by a Munchkin," Dean muttered as he led the way down to the drawbridge. "An' then maybe someone from the Lollipop Guild will whack you across the head with a really big sucker."
They converged on the Munchkins, and Glinda's evil little minions flung into action. Brandishing minuscule swords, they charged at the Winchesters, Bobby, and Ash.
Dean dodged to the side, narrowly escaping the hilt of a sword, swung and gripped hold of the Munchkin. Hefting the terrified little man in the air, he threw him into the mote that surrounded the castle.
Three Munchkins grabbed hold of Sam's legs, and pushed him forward, knocking him face first to the ground. He rolled, and one of them leapt onto his stomach. Bucking the red-haired man off his chest, he kicked another Munchkin in the stomach, and sent him careening over the side of the bridge.
Metal clanked loudly against metal as four Munchkins attacked Bobby with their swords. With a bored sigh, he picked two of the men up by the scruffs of their necks, and deposited them into the mote.
"Put 'em up, Put 'em up." Ash circled his fists, as two Munchkins advanced on him. "I'll fight ya both with one hand tied behind my – "
Sam cuffed Ash in the head as Dean caught hold of the two men from behind, slammed them together, and shoved them over the edge of the bridge. Another man rushed forward and attacked Sam, slicing through his shirt and into his flesh with a dagger. "Sonuva – " Gripping hold of the dark-haired Munchkin, Sam flung him around and threw him into the trees.
As they continued to fight, the army of Munchkins dwindled until there was only one left. Apparently realizing he was sorely outnumbered, the terrified little man, swung around and hightailed it out of there.
"You okay, Sammy?" Dean asked as he nudged his head toward the wound on Sam's arm.
"Yeah, he caught me in the straw stuffing, so I'm good." He bobbed his head toward Ash, and laughed. "Look at Ash, he's got a giant lollipop stuck to his ass."
Both Winchesters nearly fell over laughing as Ash circled round and round, trying to get the lollipop off his backside. With tears of laughter streaming down his face, Dean yanked out his cell phone and snapped off several pictures.
"Get it off . . . get it off," Ash muttered pathetically, swishing his tail at the lollipop until it got stuck to the sticky candy as well.
"Oh, there's no way in hell I'm touching your ass, dude," Dean said with a shake of his head.
"Me either," Sam quickly added when Ash turned pleading eyes to him.
"Don't even look at me," Bobby said as he took the lead and entered the castle. "So, you think Glinda would keep the Wicked Witch in the tower or the dungeon?"
Biting at his lower lip, Dean studied the stone staircase leading to the tower for a moment. "I say she's in the tower, but maybe we should split up and check out both places."
"Oh, no!" Ash objected, "I'll get stuck with Bobby, an' Glinda will hear us coming from a mile away." he hitched a thumb back toward Bobby, and continued, "Then she'll turn him into a beehive, an' if I'm really lucky I'll become a rug in her living room."
"Alright, we'll stick together cause you'd make a really ugly rug." Dean picked up his pace, and headed up the spiraling staircase with Sam at his side.