Early the next morning, Jayne awoke, his difficulties no more resolved than they had been the night before. He got up from his bunk and relieved himself at the head, washing his hands afterwards and splashing water on his face. Looking in the mirror over the sink, he noticed that his eyes were a little puffy around the bottom lids and starting to discolor, probably from all the unaccustomed worrying.
I ain't never lost sleep over a woman before, he thought, 'specially not just a little slip of a thing like that one, and he turned away to dry his face and hands, heaving a great sigh as he did so.
When he had picked up the previous day's clothes from the floor and dressed again, he climbed the ladder and turned towards the galley. Kaylee was there ahead of him and had set out everything they would need to prepare breakfast. She was busy fussing around in the galley double-checking that it was all there when Jayne quietly came up close behind her.
Kaylee whirled around, her face flushed with excitement at the sight of him, and squeaked a bit in surprise.
"'Mornin', Jayne," she laughed, "didja sleep okay?"
He grunted something unintelligible and was about to turn around to see what was on the counter when Kaylee placed her palm on the middle of his chest, almost searing him with the contact, and asked, looking up at him shyly with eyes half-closed, "Didja like my present?"
"S'okay," he replied, unable to get out anything more. Truth be told, he'd liked it too much. No female had ever given him a love token before, and as he had lain in his bed, he pushed the idea of it away because it scared him so, the thought that he might want this sweet little girl for more than an occasional grapple. And what really terrified him is that she might want him too.
The next thing he knew, Kaylee had gone up on her toes and flung her arms around his neck, forced his head down to hers and was kissing him again. And it wasn't any chaste peck either. It was a kiss designed to inflame the blood and confuse the brain, and Jayne groaned as his defenses were toppled and he crushed her to him. This was what he wanted, wasn't it? It didn't seem to matter to Kaylee what he wanted at that point, however, because she was obviously intent on taking what she wanted whether Jayne objected or not.
Jayne knew that Kaylee could feel the moment he gave in as his response began to press up against her belly, and he was on the point of scooping her into the air and sweeping her off to his cabin to finish what she had started when a sound began to impinge on his consciousness. It was the sound of a throat clearing loudly and more than once.
Dazed, Jayne broke the kiss and looked around. The captain and Zoë were standing at the head of the stairs, Zoë's expression stern and Mal's expression furious.
"Jayne, Zoë, cargo bay, now!" Mal spat out through clenched teeth.
As the captain spun around on his heel and marched away, Zoë, brows lowered, folded her arms in front of her chest and waited for Jayne to unhook Kaylee from around his neck and precede the first mate through the door. Kaylee, a bit disoriented from the kiss, took a moment to recover her wits and followed after at a quick trot, calling out, "Cap'n! Zoë! Wait! Jayne!"
When Jayne got to the cargo bay, Zoë following close behind him, Mal was already standing there, his fury barely checked. His eyes were hard and flinty, and Jayne wouldn't have been surprised to see steam coming out of his ears. And when Jayne opened his mouth to explain, Mal shouted out, "No! You just listen ta me! That there little girl ain't ta be trifled with. I took you on 'cuz I figured you would be useful to my operation. I can see now that might've been a mistake!"
Jayne would have preferred if his voice didn't sound quite so whiny but there was nothing he could do about it after the words were out. "C'mon, Mal," he pleaded, "it weren't me. Miss Kaylee, she's been usin' her feminine wiles on me!"
"You really expect me to believe that?" Mal countered. "That sweet, innocent girl who brightens up everybody's day on this ship? You think she'd want someone like you? You just keep your hands offa her from now on!"
At that moment, Kaylee ran onto the catwalk over the cargo bay. Inara, attracted by all the commotion, came out of her shuttle and hurried to the distressed girl, putting her arms out and holding tight when the mechanic sped into them, sobbing.
Jayne stood stock still. There it was, plain as day. They were being all nice to him and everything but it had just been a surface regard. They didn't really mean any of it. To them, Jayne was just the muscle, the big ape, too dumb and coarse to fit into polite society. Turns out the high-priced whore had been the only honest one in the bunch. Well, if all they saw was an animal, then he could be an animal. His hands were itching to curl around Mal's throat, and he flexed his fingers slowly at his sides.
Zoë noticed the change in Jayne right away and reached a hand out to place it on the captain's shoulder. "Sir," she said, and he turned his head and scowled at her for the interruption. The gesture served to defuse the situation, however, and Mal backed down physically if not emotionally.
"Nĭ yào zhào wŏ shuōde qùzuò, dŏng ma?" the captain shouted into Jayne's face before turning away, Zoë moving to follow behind him again.
Jayne could hear Zoë's calm, level voice as they disappeared through the door. "Sir, I don't think this is entirely Jayne's fault."
"Not his fault?" Mal boomed back.
"Sir, Kaylee ain't exactly a child, like you seem to think..." and Zoë's voice was lost in the distance.
Jayne took a few deep breaths in and out through his nostrils to try to bring his temper back down to something resembling human. He could hear Kaylee's heartbroken sobs and Inara's soothing, "Shhh, mèimei, shhh," from overhead. Without looking up, he turned and exited through the infirmary and passenger dorm area so he wouldn't have to pass near Kaylee to get to his cabin.
When he got back there, he paced the small room back and forth, back and forth, like a caged tiger. Didn't do, opening yourself up to folk. Never worked. Jayne already knew that. Learned it early on. And he had forgotten it because a woman bewitched him with her big brown eyes and shapely backside and heartwarming smile. And just a young thing, too. No matter how many boys she said she'd been with, that girl was still as fresh as new-mown hay, the kind of woman that could give a man peace and happiness in this life.
Jayne stopped pacing, suddenly struck by this new thought. Was that what this was all about? Was he thinking ahead to when he couldn't make a living intimidating people and beating them up and shooting them into submission? And did this hankering for a new kind of life in his twilight years include the possibility of love?
He rushed over to the corner and dropped down to his hands and knees, searching for the chocolate and the piece of crumpled paper. Finding them and hurrying over to the table and chair near the ladder in his cabin, he sat down and placed the chocolate right side up on the surface and began to carefully smooth the paper out with his big, blunt and calloused fingers.
A sweet for a sweetie, he read again, then picked up the chocolate and turned it around to look at it. There was a dent in one side where it had hit a metal strut in the wall before bouncing to the floor. It seemed symbolic, somehow. Kaylee had given him her heart and Jayne, clumsy, unmannered oaf that he was, had damaged it.
He sat quietly for a moment gazing at the candy and the piece of paper and finally came to a decision. What Jayne Cobb wanted wasn't worth any less than what anybody else had a right to in this 'verse. If other people thought he was lower than them, well, that was their opinion. He'd reach for the peace and happiness and love and gladly take whatever joy Kaylee was willing to offer him now, aboard this ship, and later too, come what may.
But he was going to have to be clever about it. Jayne knew it wouldn't do to go against the captain. He needed the work and, when all was said and done, the man had seen some worth in him, at least as far as it came to the smuggling end of the operation. Mal would realize that again once he calmed down. If Jayne played his cards right, this would all blow over, and when he had strengthened his position in the crew and filled up his purse, he could try again with Kaylee, openly and without shame.
Jayne, happy with his new plan, leaned back in the chair, a wistful expression on his face, and thought about how nice it had felt to hold Kaylee close and really kiss her, like pressing molten sunshine to his chest. After a moment, he scraped the chair back and climbed up the ladder again, prepared to face whatever happened next.
nĭ yào zhào wŏ shuōde qùzuò – you are to do what I tell you
dŏng ma? – understand?
mèimei – younger sister