Chapter 9
"You sure Mimi isn't having twins?" Paul asked curiously a few months later. "Looks pretty big for being just as far along as she is."
"Uh….." Montana began.
"Jesus, you are not about to say it!"
She nodded. "Mariah's doctor confirmed it today. She's having twins. Girls."
"Oh fucking hell. Does Papa know by any chance?"
"If he didn't, he probably does by now."
"Fantastic, and we have another tri-brand show coming up. Ten bucks says I'll have to listen to Spanky bitch about this all weekend."
"Hey, he listened to you ramble on when I was having Naomi. Don't even start whining."
"Uh, yeah, but you weren't having twins. Oquela. I never thought Midget had swimmers that strong. Good God, poor Leif, though. I can't even begin to imagine the poor kid's reaction when he finds this out."
"I don't know," Montana replied. "He may like it. He's finally warmed up to the idea of a baby sibling anyway. He wasn't very thrilled with the idea at first, but now he's getting into it."
"Wait until he finds out there's going to be two of them," Paul said.
Meanwhile:
"Huh?" Leif asked when Mariah gave him the news. "Two babies? How did that happen?"
"I've been asking myself that," she answered with a chuckled.
"Does Dad know?"
"Oh yes, and he's still scratching his head over this one."
"Yeah, I'm kind of confused too. How can there be two babies? Doesn't that kind of hurt or something?"
"One baby can hurt sometimes, Leif, trust me on this."
"Damn, I guess that means we're going to have to buy more stuff, huh?"
"It certainly appears that way."
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"We're not going to have to get rid of the cat, are we?"
"Of course we're not getting rid of Squishy. Why would you ask that?"
"Just something I've thought about for awhile. I heard stuff about how cats suffocate babies, but Mikey says they're not true."
"He's right. That's just a myth, Leif. If anything, we might have to have him declawed, but other than that, Squishy won't hurt the babies. Dad and I had the first cat when you were little remember?
"Oh yeah, Jack. He was kind of old, though."
"Well, yes, your dad had him for awhile before you were born."
"So do you know what the babies are?" Leif wondered.
"Yes, they're girls."
"Ewwww!" Leif made a face.
"Honey, I can't exactly choose their gender," Mariah laughed.
"Now I know how Mikey and Uncle Paul feel. Dad and I are going to be outnumbered by girls."
"Good grief, you say that like it's a bad thing. Besides, Daddy and I already figured out you really enjoy going to Mikey's just to see Naomi anyway."
"Yeah, Mom, I go right over just to see some annoying, icky girl. I don't think so."
Mariah nodded. "Right. And speaking of which, if you want to go see him later, you need to have that homework done first. Get moving."
Later:
"Did you hear, Papi?" Michael asked.
"About what?" Paul looked up from his laptop.
"Aunt Mimi is having two babies!"
"So your mami told me earlier today."
"How did she get two in her? Mami only had one of us at a time."
"Sometimes, things like that tend to happen, Mikey." Paul took a sip of coffee.
"You mean like sex?"
Paul spit out coffee and choked. "What?"
"Leif says that's how babies get in the mamis. At least that's what Uncle Spanky told him anyway."
"Oquela," Paul groaned. Note to self: Kill Brian, he thought.
"Mikey," he finally said when he composed himself, "when we get some man time before the end of the week, you and I need to talk about this stuff. I think it's better when it comes from me. Got it?"
Michael shrugged. "Okay."
"I'm sure Leif means well, buddy, but sometimes people can take stuff the wrong way and be, well, not very well informed. So when you and I talk, you'll know some stuff a little better."
"You're going to talk about sex?" Michael's eyes widened.
Paul felt his face get warm. "Uh….yes. I think the time has come, but like I said, we're going to have some man time before the weekend to discuss that."
"Oh boy. This should be something." It was all Michael could do to keep from giggling.