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The Problem with Ryan
Chapter 3: It's All Ryan's Fault.
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When Troy reached outside of the school he watched as the rain fell around the school yard in the dark, crashing down against everything. He realized he left his book bag back in the music room with his car keys. He sighed, turning back to the school doors but halted as he remembered Ryan. He was not going back into that building while the blond boy was in there so he decided to run for it.
The rain hit his face as he speed down the sidewalk, the trees and street passing him in a blur. He needed to get away, to get as far away as possible from him. He couldn't remember feeling as confused as he did right now. Ryan made him feel something he didn't want to feel, not for another boy. His heart beat was frantic as the cold rain soaked his clothes. His legs burned as he ran faster towards his house, breathing heavy as his sneakers squeaked against the floor.
His throat was dry as he tried to swallow. The wind blew past him, carrying the rain with it. He shook his hair to free it of water as he slowed down, reaching his house. He stopped in front of his home, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. He swallowed thickly as he approached his front door. He needed calm down before his parent's questioned his behavior.
When he got inside he ran up the stairs to his room, leaving a trail of watery foot prints. His mother made her way to the living room when she heard the front door open but only saw a blur of Troy go up the stairs. She furrowed her eyebrows as she heard Troy's door shut. He usually went straight for the kitchen but maybe he was just tired she thought as she went back into the kitchen.
Troy striped out of his wet clothes, shaking his hair of all water. He changed into his pajamas and got into bed. He looked up to his ceiling trying to organize his thoughts, one touch from Ryan and all of a sudden he's jelly. He couldn't understand it. His hand lay on the top of his stomach as he thought about how the blond boy danced, his muscles faintly pressing against his clothes as he moved.
The brunet felt tingly again, little sparks shot down his stomach as he thought of Ryan touching him again, feeling the heat around his hips where the blond touched his body. He took a deep breath, rolling on his side, he felt weird, he thought, he wasn't supposed feel like this about a boy, this is not right.
He rolled on his back again, the back of his head dropping against his pillow. He bit his lip as his fingers made their way just above the front of his pajama bottoms, right on the elastic waist band. He trailed his hands across them, temptingly.
He shut his eyes as his hand descended down his pants.
Clear deep blue eyes below a fringe of silky blond hair, lean abdomen, muscles stretching under his clothes as he dances, soft pale skin, imagine his graceful hands as he griped his…
"Oh god," he moaned as he touched himself. He couldn't believe himself and his stupid body, Ryan made him feel something dangerous, as his blood rushed and welled south.
Troy growled as he stopped his actions, "I am not doing that while thinking of a guy," he said to himself, he pushed at his blankets roughly and went to the bathroom for a really cold shower.
After his shower, he went to bed, feeling tense and cold.
The following morning Troy awoke to blaring beeping, he groped for his alarm clock and slammed the snooze button. His blurred vision cleared and focused on the ceiling, his throat felt hoarse and scratchy as he groaned. His muscles were sore as he sat up and stretched, the blankets pooling around his waist.
"Oh, crap," he coughed, "I'm sick," he looked at his clock, reading 6:40 AM. He looked around his messy room, running his fingers through his tangled hair.
As he got out of bed and felt the room spin, white flashed before him, "Whoa," he held his head and sat back on his bed, feeling dizzy and slightly unbalanced.
He narrowed his eyes as he remembered yesterday night, "It's all Ryan's fault," he sniffed, rubbing his runny nose.
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Ryan stood by Troy's locker awkwardly, holding the brunet's blue book bag and watching the body of students pass him in the hall. His gaze focused on a spot across the hall, a corner of a locker that was free of people surrounding it. Often he felt it was safe just to do that. Stare into space and not really pay attention to the world around him because usually the world around him didn't pay much attention to him. He always felt in the shadows, mainly in the shadow of his sister. That feeling of invisibility surrounds him and isolates him when people look right past him to his sister, focusing on Sharpay and blurring his image so he's just a spot by the real Evan's star.
And other days he felt he was being a drama King, his life was good, he didn't really have a right to complain. So, he just adapts to the security of being invisible, never having to worry about much but maybe his sister's constant complaints.
"Hey Ryan," he turned slightly; a bit startled, and found a different brunette.
"Hi Gabriella," he smiled. He was a little thrown off by her presence, he still felt it odd to have her as a friend, and suddenly he felt the strain of Troy's book bag on his arms, reminding him of another certain brunet, "Have you seen Troy?" the blond asked, "He left his book bag last night at practice," he held up the bag.
She glanced around, "No, but he should be here by now," she worried her lip, "I hope he's alright."
"Yeah," the blond said quickly, not wanting to upset the usually chirpy girl, "Maybe he's running late."
She shook her head, "He's so out of it these days," she spoke quietly, making Ryan feel a little special as she confided in him, "I think something is up with him," she whispered, "But he won't tell me anything."
Ryan furrowed his eyebrows at the news, "I wonder what's wrong," he said, almost to himself.
"I don't know, but you know how he is," she continued, "He'd never admit anything, he doesn't want to bother anyone with whatever is bothering him," she said, not mentioning that Troy's odd behavior had to do with Ryan himself, she didn't want to upset her new friend and she figured it may be something else as well, she still wasn't sure.
"Yeah, you're right, and I'm sure he'll be alright," he said, suddenly the bell rang, signaling their first class, they shared a look of worry, Troy still no where to be found, "I guess I'll have to bring this to his house," he said.
They walked to history together.
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Troy sat on his bed, feeling the phlegm in his throat and soreness of his muscles. He flipped through the channels but found nothing to watch. He spent the day sleeping and watching television which usually would be great but the thoughts of last night and what he almost did hovered over him. He refused to think about it though, he settled for blissful denial.
He turned off the television with a sigh, nothing to watch and nothing to do, his thoughts kept reverting back to yesterday. He couldn't keep avoiding the issue. He decided to resolve this problem he had. Yes, it was a problem.
'I wonder what it'd be like to kiss him,' Troy thought. Kiss him? Oh, God, what was he thinking? He shook his head, 'I am not going down that road,' he thought, unless…
He could logically think of a reason that would explain his odd feelings and resolve this whole issue and then everything will be fine. He smiled.
Now, this thought of …kissing Ryan. Kissing. Kissing him. Him.
Troy picked up his pillow, brought it to his face, and screamed, the pillow muffling the noise.
He took a deep breath, "Okay, so I'm gay," he said to himself, "I can deal with that," he continued, "There are plenty of gay athletes—Oh what am I saying?!" he put his head into his hands, "I'm screwed."
Suddenly there was a knock on the door, "Troy, honey, are you alright?" His mother said behind the door.
"Yeah mom," his voice still felt hoarse, and his pervious scream did not help matters. He sipped a bit of the tea his mother put on his bedside table.
"There's someone here to see you," she said, the door creaked open. Troy, still sipping his tea, thought it was probably Chad handing him his homework and the latest drama at East High that he probably missed.
He choked on his tea when instead of the loud curly brunet he was expecting he saw a quiet blond, Ryan. The object of his …something.
Ryan stood by the door, Troy's book bag held by two hands from the strap. Troy's eyes widened, some tea dripped from his mouth.
Ryan shifted awkwardly. Uncomfortable by the way Troy stared at him, wordless and open-mouthed. "Troy?" Ryan stepped into the room further, noticing the disarray and many tissues that scattered around his bed and side tables.
"Ryan?" Troy responded, he cleared his throat suddenly, wiping the tea from his mouth, "Hey, uh, what brings you here?" he said, still surprised by the blond boy's presence.
"I wanted to drop this off," he held up Troy's book bag, placing it on his desk, "You forgot it—"
"Yeah, thanks," Troy said too quickly, he watched the blond awkwardly shift Troy's clothes off a chair to sit down. The brunet felt a sudden jolt of panic. Ryan was inside his room, alone, with the door closed. He just really wanted the blond to leave his room, and possibly never see him ever again.
"Yeah," Ryan said, just to fill the silence that suddenly became very awkward and tense. Ryan stood, not liking the chair, "So, you're sick?"
"Yeah," Troy said, watching as Ryan made his way around his room, fiddling with something here and there. Suddenly he remembered the reason he got so sick and blushed, watching the very reason standing in front of him.
"You look flushed, maybe you should sleep," Ryan said worried, he stepped closer to Troy, who backed away abruptly on the bed.
"No!" Troy put his knees to his chest under the covers, "I—mean, you'll get sick," Troy said.
"Oh, I have a great immune system," Ryan said, smiling, "I don't think I'll get sick from just being near you."
'Not unless you kiss me,' Troy thought. 'Kiss me deeply on this bed and then—'
"So how'd you get sick?" Ryan asked, looking at picture of Troy from last year, Troy quickly stood and took the picture out his hand, blushing scarlet.
"It was nothing," he said, his voice still hoarse, he hid the picture inside his drawer, 'How embarrassing' Troy thought privately. He hated that picture.
"Aw, why'd you take it away, that was such a cute picture," Ryan teased.
Troy's face felt hot, Ryan looks so cute when he smiles, he thought, his heart beating frantically, he quickly got back into bed and pushed the covers on top of himself, "I'm sort of tired so..."
"Yeah," Ryan looked away, "I'll go," he said quietly, "Get better." He made his way out of Troy's room, closing the door behind him.
Troy curled up in his bed, 'Oh God that was awful,' he thought, 'How am I going to survive being near him.'
When Ryan stepped outside the door, he leaned against it, sighing to himself, 'he hates me,' he thought sadly.
x x x TBC x x x