Chapter 17

"Mom? We're back," Leif announced.

"Oh this should have been interesting," Montana said.

"Just what I was thinking," Mariah nodded, just as the guys came into the kitchen. "Leif, please tell me your dad did not embarrass the shit out of all of you."

"Ye of little faith, Mimi," Brian said, shooting her a look.

"For once, he didn't," Leif grinned. "Uncle Paul did most of the talking."

"Someone had to," Paul spoke up. "You'd think after one kid, genius here could pick out new baby furniture. Hell no; I still had to work with the sales guy, and I'm not the one having twins."

"Mikey and I got kind of bored, though," Leif continued. "Why did you make them drag us to the baby store anyway?"

"Quality time with your fathers," Montana replied, nodding toward Michael.

"If that's quality time with Papi, I think I'll pass next time," Michael turned up his nose.

"Thanks a lot, Mikey; I'll remember that when your wife drags you there when you're having your own kids," Paul said.

"And it's good to have you involved with the twins coming and when you have kids someday," Mariah explained to Leif.

"I'm not having any." Leif shook his head.

"Smart kid," Brian grinned.

"Brian, you're not helping here," Mariah said.

"Or am I?" He looked in the cupboards and refrigerator. "There's nothing to eat."

"I just went to the store yesterday," Mariah protested. "Good God, I can't help you two eat like pigs."

"Dad, I found Oreos," Leif announced.

"And Doritos," Michael added.

"Ahh, there is a God," Brian smiled, going to light a cigarette.

Mariah gave him a dirty look. "Outside with that."

"What? They're not even born yet."

Leif crossed his arms and glared. "Dad."

"Jesus, all right; I didn't think one smoke would be a federal case. Just don't hog all the Oreos while I'm out there, and keep the Doritos very, very far away from PL."

"Very funny, Spanky," Paul replied.

"Why do you all send him out to smoke?" Michael wondered, taking a few Doritos.

"Because it stinks and we have an expecting mami in the house," Montana explained. "Smoke isn't good for babies."

"And women enjoy making our lives hell," Paul added, only to be rewarded with a smack on the head from Montana. "What?"

"You're not helping here, Paul Michael," she answered.

"Kid's got to learn early," he grinned. "You have any soda around here, Mimi?"

"Check the bottom shelf of the fridge if Brian hadn't guzzled it all first."

"Anyway," Montana spoke up, "how did you all make out with the new furniture?"

"Picking out one crib with you for Mikey and then Naomi was enough," Paul said with a groan, "but two of them with Spanky? Talk about hell on earth. I'd been better off going with Mimi. At least she'd have a clue on what she was doing."

"I'm guessing you got something anyway," Mariah smiled.

"They sure did, Mom," Leif nodded. "You should have seen the stuff Uncle Paul found to go with it. And it's all going to be easy to put together!"

"Everything has to be put together?" Mariah asked.

"Don't worry, Mom; I'll be around in case they mess it up," Leif reassured her.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Leif," Paul said.

"Actually, I meant more along the lines of Dad," Leif clarified. "You know how he never reads the directions."

"Oh yeah," Michael agreed. "Kind of like when he tried to put your bike together and had parts left over."

"In any case," Mariah cut in, "it may not be a bad idea to have you three around when it's time to put that stuff together for the nursery."

"I agree," Montana smiled. "Plus it will give you all more quality time together."

"At least that will beat going to some dumb baby store," Michael said.

"Yeah. Hey, let's see if we can get started after Dad finishes his stinky cigarette!" Leif suggested.

"How about waiting until at least after dinner?" Mariah asked. "Which reminds me, don't be loading up on that junk. I have macaroni and cheese with bacon in the oven."

"That's even better yet!" Leif gave her a huge grin.

"Just don't make it a project of Leif here putting everything together while you and Brian 'supervise' and goof off," Montana warned Paul.

"Nah, we can have Papi read the directions," Michael offered.

"You can read the directions, boy," Paul said. "Leif and I can build and make sure his dad doesn't screw something up in the meantime."

"Whatever the case, don't be pimping this off on the kids," Montana reminded him.

"Not exactly what I had in mind," Paul replied. "This is baby furniture, after all. As long as at least one of us has an eye on Spanky, nothing should go wrong."