Chapter 22

"Do you guys like, get off on torturing me like this?" Mac asked, annoyed.

"Mackenzie, how many years have we been doing the New Year's picture?" Montana replied. "Now is not the time to complain."

"Yeah, just what I always wanted to do, spend New Year's Eve posing for a picture with a bunch of little kids. Isn't it enough I have to baby sit tonight with them?"

"They're for the grandparents. It isn't our fault you kids grow so fast," Montana pointed out.

"And who are you calling a little kid?" Kira countered. "I'm almost fifteen!"

"It isn't my idea of fun either," Leif added. "I have to wear this goofy outfit Gram got me for Christmas and hold these two babies."

"That 'goofy outfit' came from Nordstrom's and your grandmother paid good money for it," Mariah said. "You'll wear it and like it."

"And it's cute," Naomi added.

"Boys' stuff isn't supposed to be 'cute', Nomi," Michael rolled his eyes.

"Come on, kiddos, settle down so we can finish this," Paul said. "I got it about ready so the flash will go off at the right time."

"You sure no heads will be cut off?" Brian asked.

"You want to come over here and try to set it up, smart ass?"

"Mom, Bobbie smells like poop," Leif announced.

Mariah picked up Bobbie and glanced over at Brian. "Your turn."

"Jesus tap dancing Christ," Brian groaned. "You couldn't hold it for two more minutes, kid?"

"She's a baby," Naomi said. "She couldn't help she had to go to the bathroom and can't say anything yet."

"Looks like you're in deep shit, Spanky," Paul joked.

"Oh, you're just the comedian today, PL. Here, you can change her if you think it's so funny."

"No," Mariah spoke up. "Bobbie is your daughter. Go change her."

"Fucking hell," he groaned again before taking Bobbie to clean her up.

Paul laughed a little as he continued to adjust the camera, Montana shooting him a look.

"Keep it up and you're changing the next one," she warned him.

He cleared his throat, making the effort to keep a straight face, particularly when Brian had come back into the room with a freshly changed Bobbie several minutes later.

"Are we about ready, Papi?" Kira asked while Mariah arranged the twins on Leif's lap again.

"We are," Paul grinned. "All right, places, people. The flash is set!"

He jumped in with the rest of the group, everyone hurriedly posing only seconds before the flash went off. The annual New Year photo was finally done, but no one had spotted what Paul and Brian had done until the photo was taken.

Later:

"Oh my God, I cannot believe you two!" Mariah exclaimed, examing the picture.

"What? You said make it more exciting and fun this year," Brian said. "Is there no satisfying you women?"

"We specified a Happy New Year theme," Montana clarified. "Not hysterical."

"What's wrong?" Mac wondered.

"A couple of certain men clowning around. I'd expect something like this from one of the kids, but two grown men? My God." Montana shook her head in disbelief.

Leif poked his head in, wondering what the fuss was about before spying his father making a face and putting up "rawkhands.". Paul had expressed a goofy grin and crossed his eyes, putting "rabbit ears" behind Brian's head.

"Way to go, Dad!" He gave Brian a high five.

"Why is Papi cross eyed?" Michael asked before starting to laugh.

"Because he thought he was being funny."

"I was," Paul said. "The kids laughed."

"We're taking this again," Mariah announced to a room full of groans. "This time, the fathers are going to be separated."

"And I'm adjusting the camera," Montana added. "Come on, this is going to the parents; can't you two be serious for five minutes? There will be plenty of time to be stupid tonight."

"Can we keep the original?" Leif asked. "Then we can show what doofuses our dads are."

"I think most have figured that out already," Mariah replied, "but hey, why not keep some evidence in any event?"

"Guess this means no New Year's nooky tonight either," Brian said.

"You also forgot there won't be any of that for the next five weeks either," Mariah pointed out. "Now you two get over there and try to show us an effort to at least look normal."

"Like that will ever happen," Mac laughed. "I don't think either of those guys know the meaning of the word."