A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Sandshrew777, hopefully I improved slightly. Look forward to more narration :D
And to hsmfan0688, I took your idea :D it made me laugh and I thought why not? He should do that!
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The Problem with Ryan
Chapter 13: Beyond the lens.
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"Well, as I am sure most of you are aware college is just around the corner," Mrs. Johnston stood in front of the class, a stack of forms held on one arm, "And as your guidance counselor I am supposed to help guide you into the college most suitable for you," she looked at the class once before handing out the forms.
Chad looked apprehensively at the form on his desk before turning to Troy, "Obviously," he joked, Troy laughed slightly until he heard someone clear her throat in front of him. Troy turned away from his best-friend and straightened up, putting on a more serious look to appease Mrs. Johnston.
She lowered her eyeglasses slightly on her nose to regard Troy then gave him a small stack of forms for his row and continued her walk across the aisles.
Troy looked at the form in interest, he already knew where he wanted to go, Albuquerque University, he grinned at the form.
Chad looked around nervously, it seemed like everyone had their future planned out, Troy with basketball, Zeke with cooking, Taylor with medicine, Gabriella with science, Kelsi with writing, Ryan and Sharpay probably with theater Chad thought. 'What's my future?' he thought suddenly. He didn't think he could get a full scholarship for basketball like Troy.
"I am to receive these forms by the end of the month, please be aware of the deadlines of your chosen colleges, and my office," she smiled, "Is always open."
And class resumed, leaving Chad with thoughts about what life would be like after the school year ended, 'Are all my friends going to leave me?'
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After the play, things sort of seemed to die down along with the play's end. Troy went back to sitting with the basketball team, and Gabriella found comfort with the more studious students since midterms were so close.
Ryan gazed down from his seat with the drama kids on the higher level, watching Troy laugh about something with the rest of the team, he sighed as he poked at his lunch.
He glanced next to him and noticed Kelsi scribbling away in her notebook, he quirked an eyebrow, "Is that for the winter?" he asked.
She looked up surprised, "Huh? Oh," she looked down at her notebook, "Maybe," she smiled.
"Way to keep them in suspense," one of the dancers winked at Kelsi, causing the light brunette girl to blush.
Ryan just shook his head, "Another season, another production," he said to himself, looking down at his tray of food in disinterest.
Another season and everything seemed the same, a never-ending cycle of school, theater, and home, and when Ryan thought about it more deeply he just became more depressed.
He glanced at Troy again and silently he berated himself, shutting his eyes tightly, 'Stop looking at him!' His eyes had a habit of landing on the brunet, whether in a crowd, class, or any room in particular with the brunet, and it was such an immediate action that his body made before his brain had time to catch up with it. He internally let out a frustrated sigh, 'fine,' he relented, this was a good Troy watching spot, he might as well use it.
Suddenly he realized that sounded like something his sister might say, and at that instant he spotted her, he tightened the grip on his spork as he watched her talking to Troy.
Her hand on his arm, leaning closely to his chest, her pale pink sweater went nicely with the red of his jersey jacket he noticed and he thought with some sad amusement that his sister probably noticed it too. Her face titled up as she spoke to him with a flirtatious air, and Ryan would never admit this to anyone, but sometimes he wished he could be her.
She was bold, powerful, and anything she wished for would appear at the snap of her manicured fingers. Well, most of the time. And when he thought about it deeply, he realized this summer was the first time he actually saw his sister not get what she wanted.
It was also the first time he saw himself without his sister.
Yet, that last thought didn't bother him as much it did in the beginning, it just left a void in his heart, he couldn't really explain the feeling. And it left him confused.
He watched Troy lean away from her, his face back away as she leaned more forward. Ryan felt a weight lay on his heart and he was surprised to recognize it as sadness. Sharpay looked oblivious to his retreat but he knew better, the flicker of hurt in her eyes betrayed the carelessness showed in her actions. And only Ryan seemed to notice.
'Get in line, sis,' he thought with slight bitterness.
And suddenly he felt guilt. He shook the thought from his mind, unwilling to dwell on feelings that tended to fester.
She left Troy with a flirty smile and a flip of her long blonde hair, yet his eyes were trained on the brunet, who seemed unaware of his deep gaze, sitting back in his seat with the jocks. 'Why can't I just let go?' Ryan thought miserably, 'why do I have to feel like this?'
"Unrequited love," Kelsi said suddenly, Ryan turned to her in surprised, his heart beating rapidly, 'Am I that obvious?'
"That's what it's going to be about," she spoke, eyes still on the page of her notebook, Ryan let out a soft breath in relief, she looked up suddenly, whispering, "But don't tell anyone yet," she hid a small smile at her work with her notebook.
Ryan chuckled slightly, mostly in relief, "My lips are sealed."
One of the dancers in the last musicale looked at Ryan suddenly, "Hey did you take a look at the forms for college applications yet?"
Ryan looked at Kevin, "I always wanted to be an actor," he replied, "So maybe I'll go to New York to do Broadway or California," That's what he always had in mind, yet, now he didn't really know himself.
'…or maybe,' he internally smirked, 'I'll go into business just to kick Michael's ass out of my father's company,' Ryan felt the heat of revenge spread across his chest, he already threw that pin he gave him in the fireplace. He remembered smiling widely as he watched the pin burn.
But Ryan's mind decided to steer away from thoughts regarding the tall raven-haired male, it made him angry, and it left a sadness he didn't want to admit to himself yet.
And his eyes landed on Troy again, shaking his head in annoyance at his stupid habit, he purposely turned to Kelsi and asked her more about the new play she was writing, trying to take his mind off of a certain brunet and unaware of a pair of deep blue eyes suddenly looking up at him from below.
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When Troy was just about to enter his next class, he spotted a blond teen clad in a light blue pinstriped dress shirt sitting in his usual seat in the middle row, Ryan.
The classroom didn't have any other students, most were probably still at lunch.
And the brunet stood just out of the door watching the unaware blond doodle mindlessly in his notebook, his blue fedora covering his eyes, and his head titled as he leaned on his fist, his elbow on the desk.
Troy felt a force holding him still just before the threshold of the door, and his deep blue eyes were focused on the blond, he couldn't bring himself to stop looking, to act normal. Just play it cool, his mind repeated.
He walked into the classroom, and Ryan looked up at the sound of sneakers squeaking against the floor, "Hey," Troy smiled, his heart swelled at the smile Ryan returned.
When Troy sat down, several long seconds passed. Ryan watched him for awhile, and although he thought Troy didn't notice, the brunet felt the heat of his pale blues land on him ever so often.
After a while, Ryan just went back to inking up the side of his notebook, and Troy felt a sudden frustration, why won't he talk to me?
So Troy wracked his brain for something to break this thick silence, "So, what'd you think of the play?"
Troy's eyes widened at the sound of his own voice, he didn't want to talk about that! He felt like groaning, that's the best his brain could come up with? A topic of conversation that had been replayed so many times among the drama kids. More than a dozen times he remembered answering this question, and that just after the play ended. He wanted to bang his head on his desk repeatedly, way to impress Ryan, his mind mocked.
"I thought it went fine," Ryan replied, unaware of Troy's internal frustration, "You acted well," Ryan watched as Troy looked at him suddenly, he felt nervousness quell in his stomach, "You did really well," he said quietly looking down at the doodles in his notebook, and away from the deep blue eyes watching him with an intensity Ryan couldn't understand.
"Thanks," Troy grinned, "You did really well too," he had the sudden urge to sit closer to the blond, to make him look at him, to see his eyes, instead of the strip of his hat covering them.
And Troy was never one to fight such strong urges very well, so he lifted himself off his seat and sat in the seat in front of Ryan, his body turned to face the blond.
Ryan looked startled at the sudden move, he looked at Troy curiously, wondering why the brunet was suddenly so close to him but he didn't ask, instead he sat uncomfortably while Troy looked at him.
"So," Troy began, he leaned forward slightly to look at Ryan's notebook, "What're you drawing?" he asked, titling his notebook slightly to see Ryan's creations more easily.
Ryan felt his face heat, "I can't really draw," he replied sheepishly. The edge of his paper was lined with swirls and circles of different sizes, and Ryan felt slight embarrassment at Troy looking at his sad attempts at art, as Sharpay once said.
"It's cute," Troy half-smiled, his voice held amusement and Ryan felt his face heat further as Troy's eyes watched him in intrigue. He couldn't understand Troy's sudden attention, it unnerved him slightly. He fidgeted slightly under the intense gaze.
Troy took his notebook in a sudden move, he went for Ryan's pen still in his hand, his warm fingers brushing against Ryan's more cooler ones, and Ryan couldn't help but feel Troy's touch linger a bit too long, yet he wrote it off as his own wishful thinking.
He watched as Troy took his notebook, he gave Ryan one last look of amusement before turning around and hunching over his desk, writing something in Ryan's note book.
The blond tried to lean forward on his desk to catch a glimpse over the brunet's shoulder but Troy's body covered his notebook well and Ryan smiled slightly at Troy's actions.
Suddenly a rush of kids made their way through the halls and Ryan looked out the door and saw many student's at their locker, coming back from lunch.
Some students trickled into the classroom, and Troy was forced out of his current seat as it belonged to someone else, Ryan saw his notebook land on his desk and a tan hand place a sleek black pen on top of it, he looked up and saw Troy smile down at him. Ryan smiled back, feeling his heart swell with sudden happiness.
Once Troy was seated in his usual seat, his sister came in at that moment, rushing toward Ryan, "Where were you?" she asked bothered. Her bag banged on the side of his desk and he felt slight annoyance but it cleared away one he noticed her agitated state.
"What happened?" he asked, she let out a breath in frustration as she sat in her desk. He looked past her and watched Troy talk to Chad.
The curly brunet spotted Ryan and gave a nod in silent greeting, Ryan smiled back. He heard another sound of forced out breath, he turned to regard his sister, who looked like she was having an off day.
"I have to tell you something later," she said simply, the teacher came in and it was time for class, so Ryan had no choice but to wait.
Ryan opened his notebook, and just as he turned the page he noticed a rather large drawing on his lined paper, he smiled softly, suddenly remembering Troy's abduction of his notebook, it all its uneven and slightly unrecognizable glory lay a fedora hat drawn by East High's golden boy. He wanted to laugh out loud but refrained in the quiet classroom full of students now taking notes.
He looked up and just as he spotted Troy, the brunet looked back at him, amusement dancing in his deep blue eyes, and Ryan shook his head in mock admonishment, a soft smile on his lips and his pale blue eyes narrowed teasingly.
Ryan watched as a smile stretched across his tan face brightly, then he quickly turned around and resumed taking notes. Ryan could of sworn he saw tint of pink on his cheeks, but he dismissed the idea as just another one of his wishful thoughts.
Ryan looked back down at his notebook, smiling at his most treasured piece of art, before turning to a fresh page and jotting down the notes on the blackboard.
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Troy stuffed his jersey into his locker, he felt so tired after this practice and he couldn't wait to go home.
"Um, hey, Troy," Chad started, looking at his best friend hesitantly. The curly brunet sat down on the bench, nervously playing with a piece of thread that stood out on his coat's sleeve. Troy looked down at Chad curiously.
"Yeah," Troy responded, feeling the light atmosphere dissipate into a serious air.
"Did you ever have thoughts?" Chad began awkwardly. His brown eyes looked up at Troy in hesitance.
Troy raised an eyebrow, "Thoughts?" he asked slightly confused then he chuckled, "Yeah Chad, I get them all the time," he went back to changing into his shirt.
Chad furrowed his eyebrows gazing off to a spot just behind Troy, his eyes unfocused. Undeterred by Troy's teasing, he continued, "I mean like certain thoughts that," he paused for a moment, his far off gaze suddenly looked up at Troy, noticing Troy's stare, he cleared his throat, "Uh, never mind," he finished, getting off the bench.
"No, no" Troy waved his hands suddenly, "I'm sorry, Chad, tell me, what's wrong?"
"Nah, it's nothing, I guess I just been," he grinned at Troy suddenly, "Thinking too much," he said, laughing slightly, "Hard to believe, I know."
Troy noticed Chad's grin wasn't as bright as it usually was, something appeared strained in the way the curly brunet laughed, "Hey, it's senior year, everyone's allowed to be stressed, right?" Troy asked hopefully.
He didn't know what was bothering his usually upbeat friend but he decided to not push it, maybe bringing it out and into the open would just make things worse, Troy thought.
And maybe that wasn't what he really didn't want to bring out into the open, his own avoidance of telling Chad something so important, his sexuality, a secret that was tearing their friendship apart little by little.
But Troy's reasoning excluded his own withheld secret as the reason for Chad's sudden distance, or Troy's gradual separation from his longest friend.
"Yeah, the future and all that," Chad added, dismissing his previous hesitant demeanor in exchange for his usual confident rash one. A seemingly careless half-smile on his lips as he said, "I'll see you tomorrow," a wave with one hand in the air as he turned around and walked toward the exit.
"Yeah," Troy said to himself, quietly wondering how everything became so twisted and confusing.
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A/N: I hope it wasn't too disjointed in my writing but I think I got all the main points across. And some Chad! Yay! I can't have a chapter-story without him as a major character :D
And I want to thank all my reviewers! I didn't want to work on this so much when school started, especially after 3-4 hours of homework almost each night …staring at disjointed scenes of this story on my laptop screen didn't sound so appealing but I felt sort of bad for not at least working on this chapter a little bit each day. After several deletions and lots of re-writing I got it done the way I wanted.
Hopefully you guys liked it :)