Chapter 21

"There's so many things I want to ask you. I'm sorry, I'm just…We never talked like this before and I feel like I don't know a whole lot about your past, Mark." She truly felt left out, especially since her husband knew everything about her. He was like one big mystery and she wanted to finally crack it while they had this quality time together.

Mark sighed, resting his chin on her shoulder, hugging her tightly. "Don't be sorry, darlin'. You're a woman. Women are naturally nosey." He teased, trying to lighten the mood. "Ask me anything you want, Chalice. You might not always like the answers, but they'll be honest ones."

"Where did you grow up?" She finally asked after a few moments of silence, turning around in his arms to face him, but never pulled away as she stayed in his arms, just facing him now.

"Here in Texas." He replied. "Houston." Mark chuckled softly, staring down into her blue orbs, having to blink finally before he became lost. "I thought you knew that, darlin'."

"No, I don't know anything about your past." She quietly replied, searching his emerald green eyes intently, and smiled a little before biting her bottom lip. "Any siblings? Where are your parents?" She ran a hand up and down his chest to his shoulders, massaging them gently.

Mark sighed, raking a hand through his hair, blinking slightly. "My dad, Frank, died." He said quietly. "Mom is still around and I have four older brothers. David, Michael, Paul and Timothy." He frowned, looking past her. "I've alienated myself from them, which I'm sure you're going to point out, and I don't have a reason. I just did."

"Why did you alienate them?" She asked, turning around to face her husband, and raised an eyebrow at him. "Mark, people don't shove their family away without some kind of reason. Was it demons or maybe something they did to you?" Chalice had a hard time believing that Mark would push his family away without any reason behind it, especially since he was such a great father and loving husband.

"I don't know, Chalice. I just did. It was when I was going through that Lord of Darkness bullshit. I guess I didn't want my family seeing how that wasn't an act. They seen enough of TV and I thought that'd be enough. They'd think it was just the gimmick. It wasn't though, you of all people should know that." He explained, being brutally honest with her, not sugarcoating anything.

"Then what was it? What forced you to become someone like that?" She pried, shivering slightly, remembering all too well the type of man Mark used to be and what her brother had told her throughout those two months. He'd actually made it look like he'd cut someone's wrists in a 'sacrifice' on TV and she found that disturbing. Not to mention beating people and taking their souls. It wasn't just the gimmick and that's what had terrified her the most. It didn't now, but it did back then.

"It was a dark time in my life, Chalice." Mark held his arms out for her to examine, knowing she had every tattoo memorized, but gesturing to them anyway. "I've always been a morbid person. My life bored me, depressed me. I was feuding with your brother, coming off the whole 'whore' deal with the Bitch." He shrugged, raking a hand through his hair. "The Undertaker is who I am, at the time that was me."

Chalice shook her head and stood up from him, out of his arms, and walked over to stand by the gate that surrounded them. Surrounded her rose arbor he'd made for her. "No, you're Mark Calaway, the man I love and married and who I have two beautiful children with. You're only the Undertaker on television, but not when you're here with me. I don't care what you say, you're not him. You can't sit there and tell me that when I know you don't really believe it in your heart." She was speaking quietly, but firmly, wrapping her arms around herself, and allowed a few tears to slowly trickle down her cheeks.

"Darlin'…" Mark stood up, pulling her back into his arms, tilting her head back so he could stare down at her, seeing the tears causing his heart to break. "The Undertaker is me to the extreme, part of who I am." He explained gently. "Just like Stone Cold is Steve to an extreme. It's us with the volume cranked up."

"No its not!" She protested, breaking away from him, and shook her head as she walked over and stared back at the house. "My brother is not Stone Cold Steve Austin to me. He's Steve Williams, the man I used to follow around and play with. The man who walked me down the aisle in our wedding. He's not that character unless he's on television. Just like you. You're not the Undertaker unless its in front of a camera and millions of people in an arena wrestling. You're not him, Mark. He's not apart of you. It's your job and that's it." She didn't want to listen to this. Didn't want to believe that the monster she'd first met still lived inside of her husband. Even though, deep down inside, she knew he did.

Mark sighed, knowing she would never accept it. He had and moved on. He knew the dark side was still there, but also knew it would never resurface. He was too happy and content with his life. "Darlin'…" He began, moving to stand next to her. "Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you. I'm just…I don't understand. I don't understand anything and I don't want to try anymore. You keep your past to yourself and your…dark side. I'm going to check on my beautiful angels." She then walked away from him out of the rose arbor and ran toward the house. Once inside, she didn't even acknowledge her brother as she ran up the stairs and into Rose's bedroom. She lifted her baby girl in her arms, and walked with her to Marcus's bedroom, tears streaming down her face. She laid down with them three in the bed, Rose behind her, while Marcus was in front. She held her children close to her, shaking her head as she silently cried harder, not wanting to disturb their peaceful slumbers.

"What the Hell did ya do to her now?" Steve demanded when Mark walked in, looking completely defeated.

Mark dropped down heavily on the couch and recapped the conversation with Chalice he'd had, finally burying his head in his hands. "You mean she didn't know that? After seven years? Dude, don't ya talk bout anythin'?" Steve sighed, shaking his head. "How many times do I gotta tell ya, Mark, don't keep stuff hidden!"

"I didn't keep it hidden, I just never thought to tell her." Mark corrected him, knowing his brother-in-law was right, and felt completely helpless at the moment.

"My beautiful angels." She whispered softly and sighed when Rose began to stir, instantly pulling her into her arms, and cradled her to her chest.

She buried her face in Rose's black hair, her shoulders shaking, and couldn't believe what she'd found out from her husband. She married a man that had all the qualities that she despised and yet, she fell in love with him. He wasn't the Undertaker, but at the same time, he was. He had a darkness about him, she knew that, but what she just heard literally tore her heart in half. How could he say he was still the Undertaker and that monster was apart of him when he hadn't showed one ounce of being that in seven years? It didn't make any sense to her and Chalice was through with trying to understand her husband.

Mark was silent, leaning back on the couch thinking. He partly understood how Chalice was feeling. It was only normal. But at the same time, he knew he had been nothing, but a loving husband and father. He had reconciled the fact of who he was and moved the Hell on. Why couldn't she?

It wasn't the fact that Chalice blamed him for his past or held it against him because she didn't. What terrified her was the fact that he actually admitted to her that the monster she'd first met was still living inside of him. Mark had scared her to death when she first met him and that's why she'd tired so hard to forget him. She knew he had a dark side, a DEEP, dark side that was morbid and cruel. He said she'd changed him, but if she really did, he wouldn't even mention that monster in the first place. That was his gimmick on television and she wanted it to stay there, not come into their loving home. He'd been nothing, but wonderful to her for seven years, as well as their angels, so why did he say that the monster she first met, that was him, was still living inside of him? It didn't make any sense to her and in truth, scared the Hell out of her.

After sitting with her children for a long while and going over things in her mind, Chalice finally slid from them, exhausted and wanted to sleep in her own bed. She kissed their foreheads softly before venturing out of their bedroom, closing the door quietly behind her. She knew Marcus wouldn't mind Rose sleeping with him. They'd done it whenever it stormed outside or something scared them. Sighing, Chalice walked inside her bedroom, raking a hand through her hair, and closed the door quietly behind her before walking over to change into her pajamas.

Mark was already in there, having moved to their bedroom. He was standing at the window, staring outside, his hands clasped behind his back. He cleared his throat, not turning to look at her, and asked, "Are you mad with me, Chalice?"

Jumping, Chalice held her chest as she breathed heavily, not seeing him in the shadows since the room was dark, and raked a hand through her hair. "Damn it you scared me!" She whispered harshly, walking over to the bed, and had to sit down. She just had a mild heart attack from her husband scaring the shit out of her and needed a moment to recuperate as she patted her chest gently with her hand. Mark turned to stare down at her, finally walking over to kneel before her, resting his hands gently on her knees, his green eyes searching hers intently. Chalice looked down into his orbs, seeing all the love and confusion swimming through them mixed with hurt and shook her head as she sighed. "No, I'm not mad at you, Mark." She finally spoke, wrapping her arms around his neck, and hugged him tightly to her. "I just feel like I'm married to a stranger at times." She admitted quietly, running her fingers through his tresses. "I love you so much, I just wish you'd open up to me like I do you."

Mark stroked her back soothingly, resting his head against hers, and sighed inwardly. "Darlin'…" He murmured, suddenly recalling their wedding vows. "I never was a man for words, actions have always been my thing." He confessed, never releasing her.

"I know that, but what you said out there earlier…" She trailed off and began to shiver, holding onto him tighter before slowly pulling away to stare down into his eyes. "It scared the Hell out of me. I don't want that monster EVER coming into this house, Mark. I don't ever want to meet him face to face again. I want YOU, Mark Calaway, a wonderful husband and loving father to his wife and children. I never wanted the Undertaker. I wanted YOU. When I got you, that's when I truly fell in love with you, not him. It hurt me to hear you say that he was still apart of you because if he was, he'd be in your heart and I don't believe he is. God I sound like I'm fuckin' on drugs or something." She murmured, shaking her herself mentally, knowing what she was saying sounded completely insane, but it was true.

"No, you don't darlin'." Mark soothed, staring up at her, his eyes reflecting the love and admiration he felt for her. "I didn't mean to scare you, Chalice. I was trying to be honest and explain it as best I can. Words…just don't come easy for me." He sighed inwardly, knowing it sounded lame, but it was the truth. When it came to trying to express himself the way he felt she deserved, being told all the romantic things he knew she sometimes needed to hear, he was at a loss. Always had been.

"Do you know what I want from you?" She asked, searching his eyes intently, and took his hand in hers after he shook his head, entwining their fingers together, and pressed it over her heart. "I want you to speak to me from this. I want you to open it up and talk to me. Tell me everything and anything you want. I just want to know the man I love more than my own life." She never released his hand as she slowly leaned forward, pressing her forehead to his. "I want you to speak from your heart, Mark. The heart I always knew you had, but nobody else believed existed."

Mark smiled, reaching out to gently caress the side of her face. "Alright, darlin'." He promised in a whisper, leaning down to rub his nose against hers.

Chalice smiled back at him and closed her eyes, allowing a single tear to flow down her cheek, and dropped her head forward as she wiped it away. "I'm sorry for tonight. I don't know what got into me. I feel so guilty for being afraid of you when I know you'd never hurt me or the kids. I'm so sorry, Mark." She started to cry softly, burying her face in her hands.

Mark pulled her into his strong embrace, his hands rubbing her back soothingly. "Calm down, darlin'." He whispered, burying his face in her hair, inhaling her scent. "It's alright, Chalice, calm down baby."

She shook her head back at his words, gripping his shoulders with her tiny hands, and sniffled as she breathed raggedly. "No its not. I should trust you fully with my life and the kids. I should never be afraid of you. It's not you I'm afraid of though. I'm afraid of Him." She started crying harder than ever, not believing she was actually saying these words, but then again, it was a long time past overdue.

'Him?' Mark thought, inwardly sighing for the umpteenth time that night. He gently guided her over to the bed, pulling her down onto his lap. "Darlin', didn't you notice the change after that night? When I dropped you off at the hotel? I stopped provoking your brother, lost interest in the Ministry…all because of you." He said softly.

"Yes I know that…" She whispered out, her breathing shaky and ragged, and snuggled into him as she buried her face in his chest. "I'm just afraid that one day down the road, you're going to get so pissed off or something is going to happen to make him return." She raked a hand through her hair, knowing it sounded crazy, but there it was. "I'm sorry, Mark. I love you so much and I shouldn't even be thinking like this. You've been nothing, but wonderful and loving." She hated herself right now as her husband held her and sniffled more as she shook her head. "I don't deserve you for thinking this way…"

"No, I don't deserve you, darlin'. And He ain't ever coming back, you can bank on that. He's been laid to rest, tamed, by you Chalice. By you." Mark whispered, cupping her face gently in his large hands before leaning down to tenderly kiss her. Chalice softly moaned against his lips, Mark's lips, the lips of her husband, and wrapped her arms around his neck. She entangled her fingers in his hair, pressing herself further against him, and ended up straddling his lap as she moved her head back and forth, deepening the kiss when she opened her mouth for an invitation for him. Mark wasn't about to pass up that invite. He delved his tongue in her mouth, exploring her crevices, tasting her and groaned. He placed his hands on her waist, gently massaging her with the tips of his fingers. "I love you so much, darlin'." He whispered against her lips once the kiss was broken, staring into her blue pools.

"I know, I love you too, sweetie." She breathed back, caressing his face with her hands, and sniffled a little from her previous crying. "I'm sorry for bringing that shit up. I don't care about your past or what you've done in it. I care about you here and now and we deserve each other." She corrected him with a smile, her blue eyes glistening back at him, and sighed when there as a soft knock at their bedroom. Following it came her daughter's sweet voice as she slowly stood up from her husband's lap. "What is it, my beautiful white Rose?"

"Mommy, I had a bad dweam." She sniffled a little, rubbing her eyes, and walked into the room as Chalice opened her arms as she hugged her close and started to cry softly.

Mark sighed and stood up from the bed, rubbing his face. He smiled softly as he watched his wife comfort their daughter. He loved watching her with the children. Chalice had been born to be a mother. Then again, he was born to be a father and had to admit he was doing pretty good so far.

"Okay sweetheart, it's alright." Chalice cooed to her daughter, running her fingers through her long, black tresses, and lifted her up gently in her arms. "Come on, you can sleep with daddy and I tonight." She turned around and smiled when she seen her husband watching her, still stroking her little girl's head as Rose clung to her. "She had another night terror." She explained in a whisper to her husband and closed their bedroom door. She gently walked over to the bed and laid Rose down, joining her, and wrapped an arm around her waist as she started humming a soft tune while stroking her hair, her eyes focused on her daughter.

Mark nodded, joining them on the bed. He listened to Chalice humming, his eyes moving back and forth from mother to daughter. Taking in their angelic faces, not believing how much they resembled each other. He reached out to caress Rose's tiny hand, marveling for the umpteenth time at how tiny and perfect she was. He smiled when she turned her eyes onto him and whispered, "Hey darlin'."

"Hi daddy." She whispered softly, yawning and curled up against him, causing Chalice to smile as she rubbed her back gently.

"Daddy's little girl." Chalice murmured softly with a smirk at her husband, not minding it at all, and ran her fingers through Rose's hair while Mark held their daughter close to him.

Mark smiled at Chalice over the top of Rose's head, snuggling up with his daughter. He gently rubbed her small back with one hand, feeling like a giant compared to her. Remembering how small she had been as a baby. She had been so fragile to him. She still was.

Chalice snuggled with them as she draped her arm over her husband when a small knock sounded at the door again. She smiled when she seen Marcus walk in and immediately put him between her and Rose, knowing he was feeling left out. She stroked his auburn hair and kissed his forehead, locking eyes with her husband, and smiled, pure contentment obvious in her eyes. This was her family. This was what they'd worked their entire lives to achieve. Now that she had it, she never wanted to let it go. She thought going home wasn't the greatest thing in the world, but as she stared at her family. Her beautiful children and loving husband. She couldn't help, but think that she'd made the right decisions in life.

She was home.

She was finally home.

The End.