Chapter 26

During the Christmas season the same year, both families made their rounds to the usual festivities, even things such as the twins' Christmas play.

"I can't believe I'm being tortured like this," Leif groaned.

"Oh come on, be a sport. Look how cute they are," Naomi said cheerfully.

"I hope you know I'm really only sitting through this because of you, outside of Mom and Dad dragging me. Of course, I guess it can't be any worse than when Dad dressed me up and put fake antlers on me when I was four."

Brian, within earshot, began to snicker.

"Not funny, Dad," Leif said, glaring.

"What? You rocked those antlers, boy. Why do you think I had your mother take a picture?"

"Yeah, and make Christmas cards out of them to send to half the world, including the whole locker room, not to mention Gram didn't let me live it down for who knows how long."

"Don't know what you're complaining about; you had divas pinching your cheeks and telling me what a handsome kid I had every time I brought you."

"Oh God," Leif groaned again, then turned to Naomi. "Do people have kids just to embarrass them?"

"Maybe," she shrugged. "Papi does goofy stuff too."

"Of course, he was really fun to mess with when he was on the pain medication when he hurt his back," Kira giggled.

"Especially the whole spider thing," Michael snickered.

"And giving us raises in our allowances," Kira added. "Big raises."

"So that's how it's done," Leif replied.

"Yep," Michael nodded. "Slip them a few feel good pills and they're putty in your hands."

"Evil, all of you," Paul spoke up. "In Brian's case, though, all it would take is some good ganja."

"Shut up!" Brian said, giving him a whack. "Don't be saying that shit around my kid."

"And Mom usually waits till he's drunk anyway," Leif said, laughing. "She says it's the best way to take advantage."

"As broke as I am paying off Santa, remind me not to fall for that one anymore," Brian said. "Now all of you hush, my little darlings are going to sing."

Leif let out yet another groan. "That song again…..like we haven't heard it two thousand times at home. I think I'm going to barf."

"Shush," Naomi chided him, putting her head on his shoulder as the girls performed.

When they finished, the audience applauded, Mariah beaming with pride. While Leif clapped politely, Brian stood up and turned around, grinning like a Cheshire cat and extended out his arms.

"Thank you!" he exclaimed. "Those are my girls; just another reason one cannot touch greatness!"

"Brian, sit down and quit making an ass of yourself," Mariah said.

Leif sank down in his seat, muttering that he hoped the floor opened up and swallowed him. "Can he not embarrass me any further?"

"I wonder if he and Pops got in the egg nog a little early," Michael wondered, slinking down with him. "They've been more weird than usual all night."

"Let's walk about fifty feet ahead of them when this is over and hope no one remembers they were with us," Leif suggested. "Just when I think Dad can't embarrass me any more, he pulls out something else stupid."

"Problem is, we still have to suffer the Christmas Eve party after this," Michael reminded him.

"Great," Leif rolled his eyes. "Another Christmas of hell."

Later:

"You can have one cookie and then you have to go to bed before Santa comes," Mariah told the twins.

"But we want to stay up and see him," Bobbie protested.

"He won't come if you're still up," Kira reminded her.

"Does Leif have to go to bed too?" Briana asked.

"No, we need him to stay up to help Santa find the house," Paul said, giving Mariah a wink.

"We can do that," Bobbie nodded.

"Of course, but it isn't safe for little girls to go out in the dark."

"If we go to bed, do we get a Christmas story?" Briana asked.

"Absolutely," Montana volunteered. "As a matter of fact, I have one picked out for you."

"Okay!" they both cried.

"Finish your cookie and egg nog," Mariah reminded them. "Then it's time to go upstairs."

"Mama, we don't have a chimney," Bobbie said.

"Yeah," Briana added. "How's Santa going to get in to leave our stuff?"

"Simple," Leif spoke up. "Through the back door."

"That's no fun," Bobbie replied thoughtfully.

"Look at it this way, girls," Kira said. "At least you won't have to worry about him getting stuck if he comes through the door."

"That's right," Mac joined in. "And you'll still get your presents because you were such good girls."

"When they weren't attacking and torturing me," Leif responded.

"Enjoy it, man," Michael grinned, patting his shoulder. "In ten years, you're going to have to help out your dad with the headache of keeping creepy dudes away from them."

"Oh yes, nothing like a pesky brother and father to poke into your love life," Mac rolled her eyes.

"For your own good, Sis," Michael responded.

"I am going to take these little princesses upstairs," Montana announced. "They had a long night and Santa is due to arrive soon. Come on, sweeties," she added, taking the twins' hands. "Story time."

Around midnight:

"How many pieces does this thing have again?" Brian asked.

Leif studied the box. "One hundred and fifty."

"Jesus Christ," Paul groaned. "It's like we've been working on this dream house forever. This better be worth the headache."

"They better," Brian said, putting in another piece. "Both of them have been driving their mother and me nuts to get this thing for the last three months."

"They couldn't be happy with the dolls and the car they have," Leif added. "Nooooooooo, they have to have a house. I'm glad I'm not a girl."

"Be glad your birthday also isn't on Christmas," Paul said. "That alone has to suck."

"It's hard to believe they're going to be six tomorrow," Mariah said, handing them another piece. "It seems it wasn't long ago we were bringing those girls home from the hospital."

"Double the fun of them screaming, sleeping and shitting," Brian added. "At least now they're at the age where they're cute."

"Wait till they start school full time," Montana reminded them.

"Been there, done that," Brian replied, jacking a thumb toward Leif. "Now he's a teenager."

"Am I really that bad?" Leif asked.

"Not really, when you're not being moody, that is. Then again, look how many years experience I had dealing with that from being around Paul."

"I am not moody," Paul replied.

"Ha," Mariah snickered. "I'm sure Montana would beg to differ."

"That's just one way I make her beg," he countered with an evil grin.

"Yeah, and you have Mike and Naomi to prove that much," Brian laughed.

"Eww, did you have to go there?" Michael made a face and shuddered.

"Dad, you just put that part in backwards," Leif pointed out to Brian.

"Shit," he replied, yanking it out.

"Mimi, we have a suggestion for next year," Paul said.

"Oh?" Mariah wondered. "What's that?"

"Next time your darling daughters want something for Christmas, make sure it comes already assembled. Then Santa won't be so grouchy the next morning."