A/N: So, here the next chapter is! Sorry it took me so long to update, but as some of you may be able to tell, I have several stories started. Maybe not a good idea, but I love writing too much…

So, here it is. Enjoy! :DDDDDDDD

Ch4

So I was moving in with the Cullens. It couldn't be that bad of a thing to do, right? I didn't have to let go of my wall. It won't just go tumbling down, just like that. I know who I am. Maybe it's wrong that I cling to my past. I am still haunted it, I know, and there were times in the past that it made me go crazy. Sometimes I swear Zack's ghost comes back to haunt me. He whispers to me sometimes, and I hear his voice – I know it is an illusion, but I can't help it. I know I said the main reason I starve myself sometimes is because I felt guilty for killing Zack, but it's also because when I do something dangerous like that, I hear Zack's voice. When I starve myself, I hear his velvety voice telling me that he was proud of me for trying to deny my nature, though, but if I did anything else dangerous (which was hard, seeing as I am a vampire), he would scold me. It doesn't happen that much anymore. Mostly, I am over it. I don't crave his voice anymore. I don't need him the way I used to.

But what if the same thing happens with Edward? I feel this strong attraction towards him, and I hate that fact. Only two things could possibly happen: he will run away, afraid of me. He will leave me, and that would destroy me. But for Edward's safety, I don't care if it destroys me. I don't even want to think about the other possibility. That is, that I end up accidentally killing Edward.

I rang the doorbell to the Cullens' elegant white house and I was greeted by a perky Alice. I heard Rosalie complaining about how this was a bad idea – she thought that since I just newly decided to be a vegetarian, I would screw up. As long as I avoid Edward, though, that's not going to happen. Rosalie has no clue how much control I have over my own mind, my own body. One time I was actually able to go for almost a month without feeding once…and yeah, it felt like hell, but I was able to do it. So switching to animals shouldn't be that hard.

"You don't have to worry, Rosalie," I assured her. "I won't screw up."

"How can you know that now?" Rosalie asked.

"Its fine, Rosalie. Calm down. I don't see her screwing up," Alice said.

"The future can change," Rosalie scoffed.

"Ignore her," Alice said, taking my hand. It felt strange for someone to actually care about me, to consider me a friend, to defend me. I wasn't sure if I liked it. I could screw up very easily, not the way Rosalie thought I would, not in the vampire sort of way, but I could. I wasn't good at relationships and if Rosalie decided to hate me it wouldn't be very hard for me to return the feelings. "Let me show you your room," Alice continued.

I faked a smile and followed Alice up the stairs. The truth was, I was afraid of letting people in. I didn't want to be rude and obnoxious, but I also didn't want to be hurt again. I could trust Alice, right? It felt like I could, but I didn't quite trust myself. After all, the first thing I did when I woke up as a vampire was slaughter my own brother, forgetting the fact that not only was he my brother, but I was in love with him. How can a person kill someone she is in love with? A person can't. Only a monster can. I am a monster. Not to mention, my power makes me even more of a monster. I have a strong version of telekinesis, and can also control the elements because of it. In other words, if I wanted to, I could turn a tree into ice. Most of the times I just ignored my ability, but there have been times when it got out of hand.

I didn't even realize we had stopped and entered a small room when Alice asked, "So? Do you like it?"

I absentmindedly nodded my head. "Yeah," I said, nonchalantly.

"So can I take you shopping?! Please? You need furniture for your room, not to mention clothes for your closet…." She started.

I cut her off. "I have clothes…"

"Not enough. And probably not to my standard. Come on, let's go," Alice said, giggling.

I groaned. I didn't have to go shopping, so why did I feel inclined to go with Alice? I don't need a sister; I already lost a brother years ago. But it's time to let go of myself, of everything I have held inside of me for so long, and go spiraling downwards, freefalling – with no clue of how or where or when I was going to land.

"Fine," I said.

Alice grinned what I could already tell was her famous crooked grin, and I couldn't help but smile. It had been a long time since I had had a friend, much less a sister. A part of me welcomed this.

"Are you really going to go out wearing that?!" Alice asked, complaining about my plain blue jeans and my loose black T-shirt. I shrugged. I only brought jeans and T-shirts. I didn't really care about fashion – usually, more important worries (like Zack, and now Edward) plagued my mind.

"I don't think I have anything that you'd like," I said, grinning.

Alice grabbed my arm and dragged me to her room and placed me on her bed while she pranced over to her closet. She opened her closet, which was the same size as – if not bigger than – her room. Wow. I had never seen that many dresses, jeans, shirts, skirts, high-heeled shoes, et cetera. Alice was probably pleased that I was roughly the same size as her. Any pair of jeans she had would probably be too short, but other than that, they would fit perfectly. Alice walked out of her closet carrying a bunch of high-style clothes in her arms and her graceful walk could have easily been mistaken for dancing.

She handed me a pair of faded black Capri's, a short, velvet black skirt, and a pink shirt with a V-neck.

"I'm not wearing that," I protested. Sure, the Capri's would fit, but would they be comfortable? Are jeans EVER comfortable? NO, they aren't. But Alice insisted.

"Please…" Alice said, making a puppy-dog face (A/N: I just had to put that in!).

"Fine," I said, grabbing the clothes Alice wanted me to wear and walked into Alice's bathroom. When I walked out wearing Alice's ridiculous outfit (which, looking in the mirror, I had to admit actually looked good on me, but so what), she sauntered over to me and said, "Now for the make-up…"

I interrupted her. She could take me shopping, but right now I was definitely not in the mood to be her Barbie-doll. "No make-up," I insisted.

"Fine," Alice said, growling.

And then we walked downstairs and got into Alice's car. Time to shop.

To Be Continued…

Thanks for everyone who has been reading this! It is fun to write it and I hope you are enjoying it. So. No next chapter until 10 more reviews. I don't usually do this, but it seems necessary. Don't worry, though, I have faith in you guys! (=

Lots of love,

~Calliope-Elizabeth