Consequences 3
The next thing Michael remembers is hearing Sara's voice when he wakes in the infirmary three days later. He is told that he was rushed to a near by hospital and treated there and he thinks about how it is a shame that how – if he had to wake up at all – it had to be in side the prison. He wished he had seen the hospital – it would have been a glimpse of the outside world – something he wouldn't be seeing for another fifteen years if memory served him right. Maybe even longer.
"Michael? Michael can you hear me?" Sara said, in full doctor mode except for the slight edge of panic in her voice.
"Yeah-" Michael rasped out, his throat ached and burned, his stomach feeling empty and hollow and he felt like he hadn't spoken in months instead of just a few days.
Sara instinctively handed him a glass of water, explaining, "they had to pump your stomach. That is why you are in pain. The physical pain anyway. Michael… why? Why did you do it? Why that day? Why couldn't you have talked to me? I thought we had a connection. I want to help you Michael." She said, her brown eyes not wavering from his face and Michael reflected how brave she was – to confront these issues head on instead of ignoring them like most people would.
"I know Sara. I'm just not sure I can be helped."
Sara got up and left the room and Michael watched the familiar sight of a guard moving to let her pass before returning to his post.
___
The Warden came to visit him. To tell him that an FBI agent by the name of Alexander Mahone was investigating the 'Fox River Four' and would need to talk to Michael.
"Why?"
"Because you can help, son." Pope told him sadly before leaving.
___
Sara returned eventually. She would have to as it was her infirmary.
"Do you want to talk?" She asked tightly, on defensive and in a bad mood but her desires to help over riding this.
"You must have talked to Pope." Michael said, surprising her. She gave a tight nod.
"Then you know why that day." He replied, answering on eof her earlier questions cryptically.
"Because you didn't escape?" She wanted to clarify.
She didn't think he would answer and for a long time they just stayed as they were, Michael staring blankly out at the wall from his place on the bed and Sara watching him, waiting for him. "No," he finally said, "because they escaped."
He turned to her, his eyes wide, young, and earnest. "It was never meant to go down like that. I never meant or them to get out… for T-Bag to get out anyway – although I guess I should be thankful he isn't in the world but he is in gen pop and so will I be. I never meant to stay here. Not for five years. I thought a month, survive one month and I can save Lincoln. Now he doesn't need saving and I do but just like when we were kids and he would end up in juvey except I'm the one inside!"
"Michael. Lincoln hasn't abandoned you." Sara tried to reason with him but he was hysterical, out of him mind trying to convince her, tears running down his face just like the day his toes had been cut off. He started to struggle and get violent as Sara held him down and called for the guards to restrain him as she injected him with a sedative. He went limp and she turned away.
___
"I need you to be honest with me. I can only help if you let me." Sara told him after the sedative wore off.
Michael nodded even though he did not believe he could be helped. "What do you want to know?"
She took her time in answering, not having expected his acceptance. "What happened to your toes?" she asked, throwing him off balance a bit.
"Abruzzi." Michael said shortly.
"Was it worth it?" Sara asked.
"Yes. He took two of my shoes but I got on PI. And protection from T-Bag. For whatever that was worth considering how things turned out." Michael said bitterly, his enigmatic eye clouding over.
"Did T-Bag rape you when you tried to stop the escape?"
Michael stared at the grill that had been used to facilitate the escape. It was a long time before he answered her and when he did it was with the voice of a stranger – like Michael was taking a vacation from himself. "No, that was the night before. I asked for a cell reassignment and Bel-" Michael's head snapped up, as if he had suddenly realised something. "-And I guess T-Bag's cell was the only one free because I ended up in there that night."
"Why didn't you say anything? When I gave you your insulin shot that next day." Sara asked, pain in her voice. And disappointment that she hadn't noticed.
Michael didn't answer.
Obviously that was a sign of dismissal. Like saying this conversation is over. SO Sara sat up and told him she was angry that he had lied to her but she understood why. Apparently it had been discovered while he was in hospital that he was not and had never been a diabetic. She told him that – apart from injuries and check ups – they wouldn't be seeing each other again. Michael let a bitter smile slip past his mask and said "then I guess this is the end" while the voice inside his head whispered that she was abandoning him; just like his dad had, and his mom and Linc. Everyone left him in the end. He guessed he was just that type of person; worthless and unlovable.
He had no idea that when the guard came to march him back to his cell Sara's heart was breaking.
***