Sooo... I'm updating again. Goodness, at this rate, I'll finish the story in a week. Actually, that's impossible. It won't happen... I don't think.

Disclaimer: I do not own Panera, their food(which is good) or their chips(which are too crunchy... hence the name 'Krunchers' as I believe they're called.)

Chapter 5

The Not-So-Triumphant Return

"Mesa find you!" Jar Jar Binks jumped up and down and clapped his hands excitedly. One of his huge ears slapped Qui-Gon in the face, and also knocked Boris the Fish to the floor.

Adi Gallia gritted her teeth and inched behind Qui-Gon for protection as the Gungan made his way further into the room.

She poked Qui-Gon in the back. "Do something..."

He took a step forward. "You see, Jar Jar, we were just about to have a really important meeting... and we can't be... interrupted or distracted, so... look! Something shiny!"

Jar Jar whirled around. "Somethin' shiny, yousa say? Where?" He was, obviously, really really excited.

"There!" Qui-Gon pointed far, far away, where, in fact, there was nothing shiny at all. "Go find it!"

"Oh, boy! Mesa find somethin' shiny!" With that, he ran out of the room, his ears trailing behind him.

Qui-Gon sighed. "Okay, that's done... now we can actually get on with the meeting."

He turned to find Obi-Wan, only to find him (still) eating Ki-Adi-Mundi's muffin.

"Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan..." he said, gently leading him to a different table.

"I think that the reason you stuffed Ki-Adi-Blahblahblahblahblahs' muffin into your mouth is because of your anger over your hyphenated name." Qui-Gon began solemnly.

"Pit Musher," Obi-Wan tried, but his mouth was full of muffin.

"No, no." Qui-Gon raised a hand. "See, it is very easy to become angry over-"

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, DOCTOR PHIL?" Someone shouted at Qui-Gon.

He looked around, puzzled as to who had said, or, rather, shouted that. Suddenly! Through the... door! Walked Dr. Phil.

Qui-Gon was really confused by now.

Dr. Phil came over to sit by Obi-Wan. "You are unhappy, and this is why you shoved Ki-Something-Adu or whatever's muffin into your mouth. This," He said, holding up a very shiny gold key. "is the Key of Happiness."

"And why is that capitalized?" Obi-Wan said, his mouth empty of any trace of muffin, magically.

"Because the Author typed it that way."

"WHO IS THIS AUTHOR YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT?" Boris the Fish cried from the Random Fishbowl, where he was using Obi-Wan's mini bagel as a floating device. Everyone ignored him.

"What does it lead to?"

"Happiness! Find the lock that fits this key... er... I mean..." Dr. Phil rubbed his sorta-bald head. "Darn it! Let me see the script!"

He produced a script from an Unknown Pocket and skimmed the lines until he found what he was supposed to say.

"Aha!" Clearing his throat, he continued. "Find whatever it is that this unlocks, and you will be happy! Now, I must run! I'm late for an appointment with the Olsen twins. Therapy, you know. Poor things. Mind if I take this with?" He held up Qui-Gon's cherry danish, and without waiting for a reply, dashed out.

"This is OUR SUPPORT GROUP!" Qui-Gon yelled, long after Dr. Phil had left the building.

"Just a delayed reaction. Anyway... Obi-Wan, that is not the key of happiness, it's-"

"KEY of HAPPINESS. Capitalize."

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow, wondering, but went on. "Fine, Key of Happiness. Well, that's not what it is. Happiness is within us, not in material things."

"LIAR! You just don't want me to be happy! You want me to be miserable and get old and gray like you!"

"I do NOT have gray hair!"

"Oh yeah!" Obi-Wan pulled out a plastic baggy with gray hairs in it. "Then what is this? These are all gray hairs from your hairbrush!"

"They are not!" Qui-Gon shrieked.

"Yes they ARE! If you are ashamed of your hair, just get it dyed or something!"

"I do not have gray hair! It was the Author! THE AUTHOR DID IT!"

"WHO IS THIS AUTHOR PERSON!" Boris the Fish shouted from his bowl.

"The Author is the person writing this story, controlling our actions and words, and making all those random people come in here." Ki-Adi-Mundi called from the floor. Boris nodded.

"So that's why I can get out of water and not die? And that's why I can't swim and have to float around in a bagel?"

"Yup."

"Well, that sucks."

"Um... excuse me?" The group turned to see a rather stocky man staring at them. "We're closing."

Qui-Gon looked at his wrist, but there was not a watch there. "It's only eleven!" He said randomly.

"No, it's 4 PM, and we're just... closing early today, that's all." Rather Stocky Man said.

"Okay... can I get a muffin to go?" Ki-Aduuuuuuuu said from the floor.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever." With that, Rather Stocky Man disappeared.

One by one, the members and non-members of the Long Hyphenated Name Support Group filed outside onto the sidewalk. Yoda tapped his stick in a very annoying fashion.

"Aha! There you are! I'll get you!"

The insanity continues! Hahahahahahaha! Okay... having way too much fun with this story, I must admit. Who is coming after who? Wait for the next chapter to find out!

The Not-So-Triumphant Return Stars

With your cameo by...

Dr. Phil (as himself)

Rather Stocky Man as Rather Stocky Man

Adi Gallia as Adi Gallia

Qui-Gon Jinn as Qui-Gon Jinn

Ki-Adi-Mundi as Ki-Adi-Mundi

Yoda as Yoda

Obi-Wan Kenobi as Obi-Wan Kenobi

Boris the Fish as Boris the Fish

Jar Jar Binks as Jar Jar Binks