No replies to reviews this time, 'cause I don't really feel like it... sorry.

Disclaimer: There actually isn't an actual disclaimer this chapter.. only that I don't own Star Wars, but we all knew that already.

Chapter 9

What This REALLY Is...

A group of The Locals charged into the room, grabbing for Boris the Fish. He was, however, slippery from the sunscreen he had lathered on and trying to grab a slimy fish is rather like trying to grab a wet bar of soap.

While they fought to keep a hold on him, Obi-Wan and Mace resumed their argument, Qui-Gon shook his head and buried his face in his hands, and Jar Jar clapped.

Then Yoda hobbled back into the room. Above the din of the fighting, screaming, yelling, punching, and so on, he rasped out, "Figured out, why you are here, I did," Yoda said proudly. "Episode I this is supposed to be. Be here, I, Mace, Adi, and Ki-Adi-Mundi should not."

That stopped everything cold.

"Wait... so, this is Episode I? Seriously? That is SO screwed up." Obi-Wan said, trying to twist out of the grip Mace had on his neck.

"But shouldn't that mean that we have the Queen with is, and our ship needs repairs and stuff?" Qui-Gon asked.

"And if we don't have the Queen, WHY do we have HIM?" Obi-Wan said, pointing at Jar Jar disgustedly.

"Let me see the script." Mace dug out a script from his pocket; the others did likewise.

Across the front was written,

Star Wars

Episode I

The Phantom Menace

Unfortunately, this was crossed out with red Sharpie, and underneath was written, also in red,

Princess of Ithilien's

Revised Star Wars

Episode I

The Phantom Something-or-other

"We are in some sick, twisted reality, aren't we?" Ki-Adi-Mundi said.

"Well, let's just flip through it and see what happens next," Adi supplied, looking through the script. Unfortunately, it ended in the middle. The last line that was seen was,

ADI GALLIA: "Well, let's just flip through it and see what happens next,"

"WHAT?" Qui-Gon screamed, and that suddenly appeared in everyone's scripts.

"We're making everything up as we go along? WHAT? Where is George Lucas?" Mace cried.

Suddenly, a voice came into the room from... above.

"George Lucas is gone and has left the films in my care. Now, get on with it!"

"I really hate her..." Adi muttered.

Boris the Fish had been sneaking silently away from the group of Locals, who were also staring at their scripts. It made for a very fascinating read, I'm sure.

"Well, what we s'posed to do now?" Small Random Padawan piped up from the ground, where he was sitting, cross-legged.

"Well, the Queen is not with us, right? But HE is, for some reason. We're supposed to find some kid, I think..." Qui-Gon said.

"If this is the revised movie play thingie, why does it seem like real life?" Obi-Wan asked. "And WHY do YOU know stuff about the way things are supposed to be?"

"Because I'm QUI-GON, dummy. I know everything."

"Right. Sure. Whatever." Obi-Wan went back to staring at his Key of Happiness.

"Well, we better be going. We're off to find-"

"The Wizard?" Obi-Wan finished excitedly. Qui-Gon glared at him.

"NO. We're off to find a blue flying dude."

"Oh, yay."

"Come ON, everyone." The group of Jedi and their annoying Gungan companion, along with Boris the Fish on Small Random Padawan's shoulder, left the room, with the Locals staying in the room, perusing the scripts and wondering at the shortness of the chapter.

This is the first incredibly short chapter in a while... but worry not! RANDOMNESS WILL COME! MWAHAHAHA!

What This REALLY Is... Stars

Obi-Wan Kenobi as Obi-Wan Kenobi

Qui-Gon Jinn as Qui-Gon Jinn

Jar Jar Binks as Jar Jar Binks

Adi Gallia as Adi Gallia

Small Random Padawan as Small Random Padawan

Mace Windu as Mace Windu

Yoda as Yoda

Ki-Adi-Mundi as Ki-Adi-Mundi

Random Biker Dudes as The Locals

Boris the Fish as Boris the Fish