Suddenly, not a single breath could be heard in the room; I had to open my eyes to realize what was happening. It seemed as if the world has just completely stopped from spinning on its own axis for what seemed to be an eternity. It took me a while to realize the boy were started to move away from me, their face turning towards the bedrooms hallway, everything in spectral silence. The chirping sound of birds outside the window seemed like a faint whisper to me, nothing in this world could have prepared me for the sight that was starting to form before me. Standing in the very end of the hallway was Emily, her face held absolutely no expression at all; my heart started its accelerated beating once again. I wanted a clue to tell me how she was feeling, a frown, a slight smile, anything; but all that I could see was exasperating nothing, a blank piece of paper. The expression in my face became one of pain, guilt, sorrow as I finally saw what I had done. There, standing close to Emily and holding tightly to her waist was Claire; surprisingly enough she didn't seem to be frightened by my presence, god knows I would be. But, on her forearm laid three bright red scratches; the vivid resemblance of the ones her aunt had on her beautiful face.
I couldn't stop my hand to fly to my mouth in surprise, tears ran uncontrollably down my eyes but I was unable to move, to sob, to even blink. I could only imagine what if felt like for Emily, to have her very own niece being marked in the same way that she was; she would never forgive her, not even that loving character of hers would prevent her from banning me from her sight. What have I done? I was a monster; it was not as if I haven't know this all along but, this, this loosing control, it only made things more clear to me. I had nothing in me that differed me from those werewolves in terror stories who attacked humans just for the sake of it, because they couldn't control it, it was just an instinct. God, I cannot even remember what I did; I cannot remember what I saw, how I felt, all that remember after I phased is pure darkness.
My thoughts were shoved away by two small arms wrapping themselves around my neck; my eyes grew and my lips slightly parted as I realized who it was. Tears again ran freely down my cheeks as I hugged little Claire. I promised myself in that very moment would never phase again, ever, it was too dangerous for Claire, for Emily, for everyone.
"Leah, you are okay!" the four year-old exclaimed as she held me tighter.
"Yes, I am dear" I answered, trying to keep my voice steady so that she wouldn't realize I was crying. One of my hands combed her dark hair as the other cleaned my tears. "How about you, does it hurt? Are you still scared?"
"I'm a big girl" Claire stated proudly, a triumphant look on her face as she pulled away from the hug. "And auntie Emily says the wolf has gone away now, so I am not scared" she added with a small nod in the end.
As I held her shoulders, I looked up at Emily with a questioning look on my face. The girl knew nothing; she had no idea that the creature who had attacked her had been me. Emily had covered for me. The guilt in me grew ten times bigger now, and to think that the idea that she would hate me crossed my mind even for a slight second. Emily wasn't me; he heart was made out of pure gold while mine was possibly made out of coal or some dark stone. She had forgiven Sam, she had forgiven me and I couldn't bring myself to fully forgive her; maybe I was as bitter as the boys say I am. A quiet Emily gave me a reassuring smile before she approached me and patted Claire's head.
"Now come on, Claire, we are not going to let a little scratch ruin your birthday, right?" Emily told the little girl lovingly. How can she manage to look peaceful even in the worst of times? She had a gift, she definitely had a gift.
With one last kiss on the cheek, Claire was gone together with Emily and I was left with the boys. My eyes traveled across their faces as I stood up; once my gaze fell on Quill I felt as if my blood had transformed into ice. His eyes told me everything that he wanted to say without even muttering a single word; I knew he would kill me right then if he had the chance but I understood him or, at least, I tried to. I can only imagine what imprinting feels like but, if it's even stronger than love, then Quill must be feeling as if I attacked him as well. Giving two small steps towards him, I spoke.
"Quill I…" I started only to be cut off by the sound of his deep voice.
"It's okay Leah" h stated coldly before turning his back on me and walking out to the garden where Emily and Clair were.
The same way he had done, the other boys started to turn around and leave none of them wishing to be near me probably because it took too much self control not to phase. So I was left there, my eyes fixed on the wooden floor wondering what will happen next, wondering if the boys would ever bring themselves to forgive me the same way Emily had. I only lifted my eyes when I felt a hand place on my shoulder, Jacob. A sigh escaped my lips as my chocolate gaze met his, silence fell for a moment, neither of us knowing exactly what to say.
"Are you going to leave as well? Believe me; I wouldn't blame you if you did" I told him, by voice only above a whisper; the feeling of my heart being clutched didn't allow me to talk any louder.
"I won't, Leah. Not in a million years" Jake said. I knew, for a fact, that those words weren't real, that they were some sort of reassuring sentence but nothing more. Jacob was far too young to truly understand the meaning of his promise.
"Don't say that. Just say you will be with me now and that's enough" I answered as I stepped closer to him, burying my face on his chest; his arms circling my waist.
"Jake…do they know?" the words escaped my lips faster than my brain could process them. I wasn't meaning to actually say them out loud but it was too late. It was obvious that Sam knew what had been going on between Jake and me but what about the rest of the pack? I was sure they wouldn't understand just in the same way that Sam didn't.
"No, Sam hasn't said a word since you two talked" Jake explained as his hands soothingly went up and down my back, as if he was trying to make a child stop crying. It amazed me how someone who could be so childish could also be mature at the times when it was needed; maybe it was just in his blood, maybe that's why he was supposed to be the chief of the pack.
"Thank god" I breathed out as I stepped away from the hug and gave Jake a light smile. "You know? Just go and help the others. I think I need to have some time to think, really." I suggested.
"Leah I…" he started to argue but then gave out a defeated sigh. "Okay, just keep yourself out of trouble, okay?" he added playfully.
"I'll try…" I followed his game before giving him a quick goodbye kiss. "See you later I guess"
The relief I felt as I left the house was unbelievable; maybe it was the clash of the cool air against my always warm skin or the fact that I could hear the waves roar not so far away. I simply walked, allowed my feet to take me wherever they wanted to; I was tired of thinking, of trying to find an explanation for what I had done back at Emily's place. Every time I did so, the possible answers drove me insane, was I angry at Sam? Did I actually intend to hurt him? Did that meant I didn't love him anymore? No, no, I did love him; but, if that was so, then why did I lost my patience so quick? A loud 'ugh' escaped my lips as I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation.
"God, take the ability to think away from me, please" I groaned as I pressed the bridge of my nose in order to avoid a headache from taking over me.
The echo of my words reached my ears just I realized where I was standing. The cliff, the place where all this madness had began and probably the place where all this madness could stop. As I walked loser towards the edge I couldn't help but to ask myself what would the pack be without me? Emily and Sam would be together without anyone interfering; Jake could simply go away and find his imprintee, someone he truly loved; the boys would finally stop having my annoying thoughts in their heads. Yes, I was the pebble in everybody's show, the thing that restrained them from having complete happiness.
Standing right at the edge; I spread my arms open and closed my eyes. Just one jump, one leap of faith and let god do the rest. If I lived or…died, it was completely up to him but at least I tried.
"Leah! What the hell are you doing?" I heard a voice just before I stepped into thin air, feeling free as my body fell.
A/N: Finally another chapter! Yes, finally inspiration hit me and I hope you guys like it. Just press that review button and make me happy. If you review, I promise my updates will be…well, quicker hahaha.