A/N: Yaaay! I am glad I am not taking too long to update now! Okay so, this chapter will be a little bit shorter than the rest but thing is that it's really…strong hahaha so I guessed I should stick to the emotional part and just leave the action for the next chapter. Still, how you like it and keep sending awesome reviews cause they fuel me up!!
Freedom, peace, power, calm, strength, joy, bliss.
Then, the cold water hit me like a marble floor. Still, despite the initial rush of pain, the feeling of the cold water against my too warm skin made me feel better. My body fought to get out of the water but my mind kept telling it to remain still and it was winning. It would be the best for all, for Jake, for Sam, for Emily, for Quill and for Claire. I am nothing but a pebble in the shoe for everyone in the pack and god knows if even for the people outside it. Who needs a bitch anyways? No one. Most of the time I spend with people I am bitter, angry. I have tried my best to keep every single person away form me, scared to get attached and then get stabbed right through the heart just like Sam did.
But I don't blame him, I can't bring myself to blame him even though I pretend I do; he couldn't fight it just as I can't fight the necessity to breathe right now. Still, somehow it feels right, just right, how I feel my lungs slowly filling in with water, how I feel my vision starting to blur until I am alone in the darkness where I know that I belong. Suddenly, I feel at home and I am to not hollow anymore; that little space inside my heart is filled with something I had been unable to recognize before and, right in front of my close eyelids, I can see Jake's figure. Jake, what am I doing? Why am I here? It is then when desperation hit me; I was trying to get away from the world arguing that I would never been happy there and it is now, when there is no way back, that I realize I had missed my chance for happiness. Maybe I just wasn't born to be happy, besides, it's useless to fight it now, only seconds left and I can feel it. There is still hope for me, I have heard people saying that heaven is wonderful and it you never feel pain or anger or sadness. But would I be able to go to such a beautiful place when I hadn't believed in god until this very moment? It's odd how you only believe in a higher being when you are in danger or dying, like me. Up this point I didn't believe in anyone, in anything, people I had believed in had betrayed me and didn't wanted to suffer any longer. It is so extremely ironic how my mother had given me a biblical name and I had turned out to be anything but a saint. I don't care where I an going anymore, I am floating, falling, and all that matters is that I will be gone.
"Leah, Leah please talk to me. Don't do this, come back!" I can hear Jake's voice in my ears, it seems so real, so close. I can feel his arms tugging me close to him; this is heaven, it must be heaven.
A stinging feeling in my throat makes me know it isn't true, I shouldn't be feeling any pain in heaven. It is then when the salt water exits my lips and I can feel air entering my nostrils once again; I am alive, I am alive. The roar in my ears doesn't restrain me from hearing several gasps, probably as surprised as I am that I am still breathing steadily. Despite the muttering, that felt too loud, Jake's voice I could distinguish; his sweet and claming voice whispering into my ears probably scared that the rest of the pack would listen. I want to answer, I want to answer so bad but I am still struggling to open my eyes. He seems to notice since he gently combs my hair. "It's okay, just relax" he says soothingly and out of the sudden I feel like crying.
Then I hear it, her voice. "I'm sorry I could get her before," she says, her tone of voice still not entirely believable to me. It had been her who had called for me before I stepped into the abyss, I wonder why I didn't recognized it before. "You did everything you could Bella, at least you got to us in time" Sam's voice now reached my ears together with a feeling of anger. Somehow I always associated him with this feeling and I didn't even knew why he had this power; someone I loved so much had turned into something loathsome. Ha. Maybe that is exactly the reason why.
"Jake," I croaked weakly, the salt still stinging. Silence came right after that. Say it, just say it I kept telling myself but no, I wasn't strong enough. "Thanks" I completed the sentence, funny how that wasn't the word I had initially planned to do it with. Slowly, I opened my eyes squinting then immediately as the strong light shined. But I could see him, I could see that smile that instantly broke into the darkness of my heart.
"Just rest, Leah" he said as he lifted me up in his arms "We will talk tomorrow, okay?" Jacob whispered as I wrapped my arms around his neck and nuzzled my head on his chest, feeling protected, safe and at home once again.
A/N: Hope you all liked this! This chapter is a bit more poetic than the rest but just let me know what you think. I know some words and phrases are tangled up but I guessed that's how a trail of thought should be. Just review! ;)